


Herald

by Velarie



Series: Ria Yamamoto [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Fantasy, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery, Romance, Seer, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-02-17 03:29:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 181,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13068177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velarie/pseuds/Velarie
Summary: Ria Yamamoto thought her life was done throwing stones at her when she killed Hideo Mitsuji, the man who killed the other descendants of the former Head Captain, but with a known blindness in her zanpakuto's vision, the 3rd seat of Squad 10 must struggle against her own barriers to overcome her weaknesses, or face losing the person closest to her.





	1. She Who Heals

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler Alert:
> 
> This story is based 20 years after the Thousand-Year Blood War Arc. If you haven't read the manga, a lot of the details in this story be spoilers. A lot of it, however, is me filling in the blanks in time. If you want to know what is real about the actual story and what isn't, check out the Bleach Wikia or read up on the rest of the story.
> 
> Disclaimer:
> 
> I don't own Bleach or any of the ideas present inside the manga or anime. The use of any materials that were not my own were intended for the purpose of entertainment and nothing more.
> 
> Note from the Author:
> 
> Welcome back readers! If you are new to this story line I highly suggest you read Seer, the first story in this series. If you decide to skip it, you'll miss out on all sorts of juicy story. To you continuing readers, I hope you enjoy the sequel! I have an awesome beta reader this go around, who will be helping me to make this story just that much better. Less grammar and spelling errors, and better phrasing - hooray!

Today was turning out to be one of 'those' days. It seemed like every time I finished one project, someone was hounding me to go fix something else. I knew why I was so busy, but that didn't mean that I wasn't annoyed. And exhausted. All of my work from the last month and a half had been waiting for me to regain control of my shikai. Until my work had piled up, I hadn't realized just how many broken buildings I had fixed in the last five years. One wall every few days had been easy, but now I had three dozen buildings, some of which I had to create from scratch to replace what had been obliterated by Squad 11. I needed to figure out how to make an auto-repair function on the buildings that were most likely to be demolished by spontaneous violence.

"That doesn't look at all like the original building," Yumichika Ayasegawa nagged beside me. He had been following me around for the last hour, nitpicking my repairs to one of their training areas. For someone that was a member of the most ruthless squad in the Gotei 13, he sure was acting like a finicky pansy.

"I'm not done," I responded in a low, irritated tone. I normally didn't have the mental capacity to feel emotions while I was using my shikai, but he had been grating away at my nerves for almost an hour now. It was enough to make my control shaky. The headache caused by my still mending bond with my zanpakuto only made it worse. Normally, I could sort my emotions into a category and leave them there, making my actions completely motivated by logic and priorities. With Yumichika, I had lost that ability about thirty minutes ago.

"The edges on the eves need to be more rounded, like a scallop. Not squared off like they are now."

I shifted away from my mind's eye, the change of vision making me shake my head to clear the disoriented feeling that threatened to knock me over. I had only been able to use my shikai without losing consciousness for a few days. Now the pain alone was enough to keep my time with my shikai active down to twenty minutes or less. Having been at this for an hour was wearing on me, and I let it show when I turned to Yumichika and unleashed the full force of my flat glare on him.

"If you don't like it, you can fix it yourself," I growled at him. I turned and started walking away, making the motions to sheath my zanpakuto.

"You're going to leave it like this?" He protested, his voice rising with outrage.

"Yes," I grumbled as I continued to walk away. I would come back tomorrow and finish. I had more than my fill of his attitude.

"You can't just leave it! There isn't even a door."

I stopped mid step, my sword half sheathed and my teeth gritting. I thought over what I should do in this situation. The best option would be to leave and finish tomorrow, but my other option sounded so much better. I turned on him, sinking into my mind's eye as my anger took over. I drew my vision to the wood nearby, finding the training building instantly. I pushed power into the reishi that composed it, coaxing the wood to turn into pure, white reishi.

"There, now you don't need a door," I bit out as I sank the reishi into the ground, forcing it to become one with the concrete underfoot. The stone foundation and walls remained where they were, but all the studs, flooring, roof and siding melted into the concrete leaving a shell of a building in its place. I resisted the urge to snarl at Yumichika as the pain in my head flared, a repercussion to the power I had pushed out with my bond still damaged. I slammed my zanpakuto into her sheath and started walking away again as I dropped my shikai. The armor that had covered me from shoulder to knee filtered away into the air behind me, leaving a trail of golden flecks that wafted up into the sky. Yumichika didn't call out to me this time, leaving me to stomp away in silence.

I headed back to the Squad 10 barracks, aiming for the offices as I flash stepped to make the journey go faster. When I had dropped my shikai, the pain in my head had dulled to a low roar. Normally, I only had a headache when I used Maebure no Shukufuku, my zanpakuto's shikai, but after maintaining it for so long it was like the pain had to stick around.

I tried to not look as angry as I was feeling when I walked into the office building. I trained my face into a pleasant mask as I nodded at some of my squad members before heading up the stairs to my office on the second floor. It was hard to maintain the fake expression, but I managed it until I rounded the doorway that lead into the space that I shared with the 4th and 5th seats of our squad. My face dropped like I had never been smiling and an irritated scowl replaced it.

"Welcome back, Yamamoto," Amagi Kyoruni's soft voice greeted me as I moved towards my desk. I glanced at him to see he had turned in his chair at his desk. His friendly, daffodil yellow eyes smiled at me as he finished turning fully towards me. He was one of those guys that just looked like a nice person, with a soft featured face and permanent gentle expression turning his lips, he was liked by everyone. His hair was green like the leaves of the plants that his zanpakuto created, giving him an earthy appearance that only served to add to his peaceful exterior.

"Thanks, Amagi," I grumbled as I walked past him to my desk. "I can take your reports up to Rangiku in a few minutes if you're busy."

"Are you sure?" He asked, concern bleeding into his voice. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine," I responded as I plopped down into my chair with a sigh. I rested my elbows on the desk before cradling my forehead in my hands. "Squad 11 just doesn't know how not to break things."

"You've been out of commission for over almost two months now. Just because you can use your shikai again, doesn't mean you need to," Amagi said as his footsteps approached me.

"I just don't like people waiting on me." I let out a sigh and lifted my head to gaze up at him. I gave him a reassuring smile as I pushed the pain out of my eyes.

"You shouldn't be-"

Amagi cut himself off as my zanpakuto manifested between us. I blinked up at her with surprise as her teal gaze met mine. She didn't normally manifest on her own, though in the past she had done it often enough. Normally, she saved her surprise entrances for when I was alone, or with someone who knew more about her. This was the first time she had done it in front of Amagi, which clearly showed when he jumped back with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. He was at a loss for words as he froze with his back pressed to the wall.

Tankyu no Unmei was exactly the sort of zanpakuto that would do that to a man. She was beautiful, stunning, shocking, and so foreign that she could leave anyone in awed silence when they first saw her. Since my powers had evolved, and I learned her true name, her appearance was always similar while changing with predictions. The only things that always remained constant, were her striking teal eyes and her onyx black hair. Her mask today was made from plates of golden lace that layered from her eyebrows into her hair like feathers while smaller flecks of gold spotted her cheeks, growing in density as they trailed up her cheekbones to her ears, where they decorated the curve of her ear before transforming into elegant chandelier earrings. Her hair was done up in her usual shimada, but instead of the red ribbons they were a made of a slick teal material that matched her eyes and kimono. Patterns of white and gold feathers had been painted into the fabric of her kimono and obi, making the fabric pop with the shine of the paint.

She didn't say anything as she moved towards me. Her hand slid over my shoulder while her other slipped behind my head and she pulled me towards her. I didn't try to resist her movements and let her pull me to her chest. I snuggled my nose into her kimono as her nails ran over my hair, soothing the pain that lingered from using our shikai for so long. The chains from my kanzashi jingled as her touch moved my chignon, the sound bringing a smile to my lips.

"A few more days," she murmured. Her voice was smooth like silk and sultry like I always imagined a siren's would be. "A few more days and I will have our bond repaired. The more you use our shikai the faster it will go, even if it pains you."

"I know," I replied, my voice muffled by her kimono. Without my shikai running, it took her days to fix something that could take an hour. She was powerful on her own, but without the aid of my spiritual pressure, her abilities were limited. When our shikai was running she could completely take it over if she wanted to. I hadn't known another zanpakuto that could do such things outside of the Muramasa incident thirty or so years ago, but that was all just words to me. I had only been a soul reaper for 18 years, but we had to learn about the events in our past while I was going through the Spiritual Arts Academy. My zanpakuto was just unique, but no more so than any other zanpakuto.

Tankyu no Unmei literally meant Seeker of Fate. She acted as if she were some sort of god most of the time, and treated me as her Herald. Every day she would give me a name that reflected my future - She Who Chooses, She Who Wonders, She Who Struggles, She Who Belongs - they were all my names at one point in time, but since my bond with her was nearly broken, my name had been She Who Heals. Even now the pain in my head was ebbing away with her touch, soothed by our closeness outside of our bond.

"Ria," Amagi's voice came hesitantly to my ears. "Who is that?"

I tried not to laugh at his attempt to be quiet. I pulled back from my zanpakuto just enough to lean around her body so I could see him. His back was still plastered to the wall, but he had collected himself enough to fix his posture. His eyes were wide as they roamed Tankyu no Unmei's back side.

"This is my zanpakuto. I told you she could manifest," I said softly. The caress of her healing touch had my words coming out in a gentle sound when I had meant to be teasing him.

"You didn't tell me that she looked like that," he said in a harsh whisper. Her hand left my hair as she turned, pinning him in place with her teal gaze. The pain in my head was gone, so I sat back and watched as she sauntered over to him. She stopped only inches from him, clearly invading his personal space, and gazed up at him. She was taller than me with her geta on, but only by a few inches, but next to Amagi, she looked like an ornate doll and completely out of place. She reached up to his face, her fingers caressing down the line of his jaw as her head tilted curiously to the side.

"He Who Stutters," she said, her voice coming out in an alluring drawl. She tapped his chin with her index finger before she vanished, leaving Amagi frozen in shock. I tried my best not to laugh at his vacant expression. She could only see my future, but I hadn't expressed that detail to Amagi yet and she knew it. But, we did both know that he had a date tonight with one of the Squad 6 girls and that he was nervous about it.

I stood and moved to his desk. He didn't react to me as I scooped the stack of papers on the corner of his desk into my arms and walked off with a wave, "good luck tonight Amagi."

I left him alone in the office as I headed back to the stairs. Without the headache to weigh me down, the anger I had felt earlier left my chest at the thought of the nervous wreck he was going to be this evening. I was sure he would be fine, but I'd hear all about it tomorrow. I had been completely useless at work the day after Toshiro and I had first kissed, so I could imagine how distracted he would be.

Rangiku's office was on the third floor, down the opposite hallway from Toshiro's office. I had to stop at the top to gaze down the hallway to his office. He had been gone for several days now, off observing the training mission that our 8th combat team was on. Most of the members of the combat team were newer soul reapers who had little in the way of experience. Their last mission to the World of the Living had ended with an Adjuchas disabling their team leader and scattering the team throughout the area. Toshiro thought it best that he go with them on their next excursion, to make the new members feel better about their Hollow encounters. They were due back in a few days, but they usually returned early so I was hoping I would see him soon.

Letting out a sigh of longing, I turned and made my way to Rangiku's office. She was the acting captain until Toshiro returned, so all the paperwork and reports from the squad went to her for review and signature. The concept was rather funny, especially when one considered how much she disliked work in general. She was much more interested in the people, than the paperwork that they produced.

Rounding the doorway that led into her office, I stopped just inside to glance around. I had been expecting her to be in here with all the work she had to do, but the room appeared empty. I slowly walked in as I opened myself to feeling spiritual pressures. She was here, or nearby at least. I pursed my lips as I moved to her desk and set the papers beside several other stacks. I turned to the room and almost instantly spotted her feminine form sprawled out across the couch that had its back towards the door.

I tip toed over to her, trying to be as quiet as possible when I stopped at her side. Rangiku looked like she always did, luscious strawberry blonde hair framing her face in full waves, make-up done to perfection and her cleavage exposing far too much skin in her tight shihakusho. It looked like she had flopped down on the couch and instantly fallen asleep with her arm and foot hanging off the edge while her other hand was covering her eyes. A soft snore slipped from her open mouth as her chest fell and rose with her breath. There was a slight flush to her cheeks that had me wondering if she had gone out to drink at lunch. It was well into the afternoon now, so it wouldn't have surprised me.

I debated with myself about waking her up, but decided not to. She could be rather grumpy when she first woke, and there really was no need. She'd never get her paperwork done anyway. The three weeks that I was unconscious had resulted in piles of paperwork falling off her desk in heaps. The remains of Paperocolypse were still scattered behind her desk in disorganized piles. I was going to have to take care of it all soon if she didn't. Yay.

Letting out a soft sigh, I turned and left her office. No one would blame me if I left early today, even if I didn't really need to. I had been staying late since I had regained control over my shikai to try and eliminate the backlog of work requests, but with the pain of running my shikai I hadn't done as much as I had hoped. I needed to sit down and meditate with my shikai running. If I wasn't actively trying to do something, I could filter out most the pain by categorizing it and pushing it aside.

Instead of taking the stairs down, I flash stepped over the railing that lined the outer wall. I stopped on the fourth floor of the housing building, stepping onto the railing then down to the walkway just outside my barrack's room. I had moved back in here a few days after I had been released from Squad 4. Staying with Rangiku had been nice, but I enjoyed the freedom that staying in my own quarters allowed me. When I was staying in her spare room, it had allowed her to always know when I came and went, which mostly translated into she knew when I had stayed the night with Toshiro and when I hadn't. It made for very awkward mornings, filled with knowing looks from my lieutenant that I struggled not to blush at. She didn't know just how intimate we were, but she must have had a pretty good guess.

Sliding the door to my room open, I quickly stepped inside and scanned the area before closing the door. Ever since I had been assaulted after the Summer Festival, I was paranoid about entering my room. I had been so drunk at the time that even if I had looked around, I probably wouldn't have seen him, but I couldn't help myself from being cautious. The events caused by Hideo Mitsuji had me watching my back when I shouldn't have needed to. Squad 12 was certain that they had rounded up everyone that had been possessed by his zanpakuto, but I wasn't. I had seen firsthand how Mitsuji's soul candies could draw themselves away from the surface of the person that they possessed, leaving the host completely unaware of their presence. I was just waiting for the day when one of them decided to surface again and try to kill me.

My sister and I were the last surviving descendants of Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto, the former Head Captain of the 13 Court Guard Squads. We had no clue about our ancestor for most of our lives, believing that Yamamoto was just a common name in the 4th district of North Rukon. That was, until we were targeted by Hideo Mitsuji, a former Soul Reaper who had a grudge against the former Head Captain, and started hunting us down in a fit of violent revenge. He killed everyone in the Rukon Districts that could possibly have descended from Genryusai Yamamoto, and once he was done with them he turned his sights on us, the only descendants to have been protected by Seireitei.

It was thanks to Captain Hitsugaya that I survived his first attempt on my life. Mitsuji lured me to the World of the Living and sent a Hollow that was far stronger than me at the time. It almost killed me, but Toshiro arrived just as my strength had been fading. He saved me so many times after that, and through our interactions I couldn't stop myself from falling for him.

I tried not to at first. It wasn't proper for a lady to be swooning over her superior officer. It felt wrong, and I told myself countless times that there was no way he could feel the same way for me. Then, he kissed me, pulled me from a horrible memory and replaced it with something gentle and tender. I almost blew it after that, expressing my feelings in a horrible confession that had me running half way across the Seireitei to hide my embarrassment. He wouldn't let me hide though. He chased me down, drug me back into his arms and showed me exactly how he felt.

We had been together since that night. Through the highs and the lows that Hideo Mitsuji's vengeance put me through, he was always there. He would correct me if I ever said it aloud, but without him I wouldn't have had the strength nor will to survive.

I stopped as I started to pass my dresser mirror, turning my head so I could see the kanzashi that hung from my chignon. Three golden peonies decorated the tip of the pins, their petals thin and etched so delicately that they looked real. The tips of each petal were scalloped and bent back to reflect light across the metal that made it appear to subtly glow. A white gem sat in the center of each flower, giving the gold an even more heavenly glow. A butterfly sat on the edge of the largest flower, its wings so lifelike that it fit in perfectly with the flowers. Eight gold chains with circular, beveled plates spacing each of the links out, hung from the flowers. They chimed subtly with my movements, making far less noise than my original kanzashi.

Toshiro had given me this kanzashi the first time I had seen him after I had woken up. It was a gift, meant to replace the one that had been broken when Mitsuji had tried to take me over with his zanpakuto's soul candy. I hadn't had the courage to look at the mangled hummingbird yet. It had been passed down in our family from generation to generation, and I had broken it not just once, but twice. I wasn't worthy of it, and with my sister still being controlled my Mitsuji's soul candy, I couldn't bring myself to go anywhere near it.

In my uniform, the kanzashi looked completely out of place. I had started wearing make-up to accent my chocolate brown eyes and doing my long, black hair up in a fancier chignon to better accompany the fine metal ornament. We were allowed to customize our uniforms to some extent, so I had sleeves like a yukata added to mine as soon as I graduated from the academy. Having been raised to be a lady, and to be married to an advantageous family, I was used to wearing more formal clothing before I decided to become a Soul Reaper. The sleeves were just a trinket to my sister, and all her efforts to make sure that I was raised as a proper lady.

Shaking my head, I smiled as the chains jingled at my ear, and turned away. I had vowed not to let myself linger on the past until everything had come to an end. Worrying about things that were out of my control was useless. Mio was in Squad 12's genius hands. They would figure out a way to free her from his control. Captain Kurotsuchi had already freed Takeshi Nakai and one of the other Soul Reapers who were taken over by him, so it was just a matter of time. My sister had a spiritual pressure unlike most people who weren't Soul Reapers, but she wasn't strong enough to withstand the treatment that had been used. It didn't help that she was five months pregnant either, preventing them from testing any treatments on her.

I turned to my room and let a slight frown muddle my expression. If I let myself release my shikai in the middle of the barracks, I would probably make some of my squad members uncomfortable. I was still learning how to control my zanpakuto's powers. It had been easy in the World of the Living, where very little was made of reishi. Here in the Soul Society, everything was made of reishi, and my power became hard to control especially with my bond to my zanpakuto still damaged. I needed to go somewhere that wouldn't have everyone weaker than me sweating bullets just to keep working.

I left my room, making sure the door was securely closed before I jumped over the railing and landed quietly on the walkway below. The buildings here had all been designed for quick reactions to possible threats, with most of the doors facing the outside of the building and a large enough gap between the railing and ceiling for just about anyone to easily move through.

I straightened my shihakusho and touched my kanzashi to make sure it hadn't come free during the jarring movements before I turned and started walking. Both the Captain's and Lieutenant's quarters sat away from the barracks, separated by a field of grass. Rangiku's house was almost always populated with visitors outside of work hours, but Toshiro's sat quietly opposite of his socially gifted lieutenant. He valued his privacy, so outside of Rangiku or one of the other captains it remained his sanctuary.

Well, then there was me.

I made quick work of crossing the grassy field and stepping up onto his porch. The season was slowly waning into fall, leaving the air pleasantly warm instead of scorching hot and the foliage beginning to turn from green to yellows, oranges and reds. As I rounded the corner of his house, the pond and plum trees that sat behind it came into view. I hadn't known that there was even a pond back here until he had taken me to his house for the first time.

"Tankyu no Unmei," I called out to my zanpakuto as I pulled her blade from her sheath. I felt her manifest beside me before I turned my gaze to her. Her teal gaze met mine, her brow quirked in a curious expression.

"Herald," she said softly in greeting.

"How long will it take you to fix our bond if I leave our shikai running?"

She remained still, her frozen expression telling me that she was exploring our bond in her head.

"Half a day," she finally answered. Her long lashes blinked slowly as she adjusted her posture.

"So, it will take a few days of our shikai running for you to finish, or I can try to bear through the headache and you would be done tomorrow?"

"If you strain yourself too much, any progress that I make will be lost to a new tear."

I let out a soft sigh. There was no getting around it. A few more days and I would be back to normal, whatever normal was.

"Maebure no Shukufuku."

Power flowed through me as my shikai activated and a headache roared to life. Golden flakes of reishi formed around me, glowing with my reiatsu as they multiplied, filling the air around me with a warm, golden glow. I reached out with my sword arm and the reishi wafted towards me. It turned to liquid when it came into contact with my skin and my sleeve dissipated into the air. Plates of black armor lined in gold formed on my hand, covering my fingers in metal plates that layered towards my fingertips. The armor continued to form, encasing my outer arm in plates that were fastened in place by gold chains. A shoulder pauldron, breast plate and thigh plates formed, all fastened together by gold chains. A black metal obi cinched my waist, the weave of the metal links so fine that it appeared to be fabric while a thicker gold chain acted as the obi-jime to accent the finery of the metal.

When it was done forming, I dropped my arm to my side. Maebure no Shukufuku, The Herald's Blessing, was the restricted version of my shikai. It allowed me to use my mind's eye to see reishi and manipulate it as I saw fit, as well as giving me heightened sight and senses. My zanpakuto was certain that one day we would be a devastating force, but right now, I was still learning how to handle the power. In the World of the Living it had been easy, but here in the Soul Society I was easily overwhelmed. Even with my damaged bond, I had almost lost control several times and had been forced to drop my zanpakuto to stop myself from destroying the things I was trying to fix.

I hadn't activated my shikai to do things though; I had done it to allow Tankyu no Unmei to work on repairing our bond. I sat down on the edge of the porch and slid forward until my toes could touch the ground. I leaned to the side and rested my shoulder pauldron and my head against one of the pillars to allow myself to not fall over when I sank completely into my mind's eye. If I was doing something that required my mind's eye to travel, I tended to lose control over my body and it ragdolled.

I slipped into my mind's eye, leaving my sightless gaze to linger on the pond and trees, and delved into the world around me. The first look into my mind's eye was always overwhelming. My head filled with everything around me, consuming my thoughts with the reishi in the area as I worked to put everything into categories. Wood, dirt, grass, stone, metal; I sorted it all into its own area in my head and pushed it to the side until only the small radius around me was visible in my head. My mind always wanted to spread to the world around me if I didn't keep myself reigned in. It was easier to distract myself when there were other people around, but alone as I was, I struggled with myself.

Tankyu no Unmei's hand rested on my shoulder as she sat behind me. I felt her curl her legs around my hip before her arms wrapped around my waist and her chin rested on my shoulder. The pain from our bond eased with her touch, and I found my mind relaxing into an easy drawl of information. Once upon a time, she had left me to the mercy of my own actions and refused to intervene or assist me. That was before I had understood her or her power. She still had the same thought process and refused to break her rules to help me, but now she accepted that sometimes she had to come to my aid. She was the Seeker of Fate, and I was her Herald.

I let my body slip away from my control as my mind eased further and I entered a meditative state. With my zanpakuto's help, I lost track of time as she worked on our bond. I relaxed into her touch on my mind as she kept my attention from wandering too far. She held me as she worked, keeping the pain from becoming too much as she drew on our shikai. Whenever the pain would surge, she would sigh and stop whatever she had been doing until it dulled. She held me for a long time until I felt her physical presence vanish. The sensation drew me back to my body for only a moment before I sank back into my mind's eye.

Something brushed against my knees and I felt a body push my legs apart. I resisted the urge to startle and trained my mind's eye on the person who was invading my personal space. A small smile turned the corner of my mouth.

Toshiro.

With my mind's eye, I didn't see him like my regular vision would have. Instead he was so much more than just a physical presence. He'd only been this close to me with my shikai running a few times, but every time it was like an explosion of him in my head. I could feel everything about him; his heart beat, his shihakusho as he pressed closer to me, his hands ghosting up my thighs so lightly that I couldn't feel it with my body. His fingertips trailed up the plates of armor over my thighs and up, drawing my attention away from my mind's eye to focus on his touch as he cupped my cheek.

"Where are you?" he murmured as his thumb trailed over my bottom lip.

"Right here," I responded in a whisper. I slowly drew myself to sit straight, subtly stretching my neck and shoulder to alleviate the stiff joints. I blinked slowly to chase away the burn from having left them open for so long, as my mind's eye faded and my normal vision came back. The first image I saw was of his chest, the turquoise sash that held his zanpakuto, Hyorinmaru, crossing from his shoulder down to his waist. His captain's haori was normally pristine, but now it looked a little worse for wear with several tears fraying the collar and dried blood staining the fabric in an arching splatter.

I tilted my head back so my gaze would wander up the rest of him. Once upon a time I had been too embarrassed to admit how attractive he was, but I had long since gotten over that. He wore his shihakusho baggy, but with his broad shoulders he filled it out, hiding just how lean his frame was underneath. With my heightened vision from my shikai, I could see better than anyone how the fabric pulled tighter over the expanse of his chest, and just how slim his waist was from the denting of his shihakusho. I knew from personal experience just how fit he was, and the thought of it sent a thrill up my body. His face was structured like a Greek statue, the angles all sharp and soft at the same time while accenting his high cheekbones and sharp chin. The snow-white hair that he was so well known for was messy with whatever fight he had been in, the long locks falling over his eyes in a slightly disarrayed fashion.

I met his aquamarine gaze and found myself in awe of the colors that my shikai allowed me to see. Normally his eyes were just aquamarine, but with my heightened sight there were streaks of teal, turquoise and green hidden amongst the glacier blue. The expression he wore was soft as his hand trailed over my hair and his fingers ran through the chains of my kanzashi.

"Your bond is repaired?" He asked.

"Not yet," I said with a shake of my head. "A few more days."

"I was half expecting to find you unconscious when I returned," he teased despite the seriousness of his words.

"This is the first time you've come back to me as the injured one," I replied as I ran my hand down his stained haori. "Maybe I need to start worrying about you?"

"It's not mine," he said, shaking his head. "Grimmjow decided to make his displeasure with us known, but enough of that."

He tilted my chin up and kissed me, banishing my thoughts with his touch. My zanpakuto fell from my fingers to clatter on the porch and my armor dissipated as my shikai dropped. I started to move to stand, but he gently pushed me back until I was lying across the wooden floor and slid my body away from the edge until he was kneeling over me. He pinned one of my hands down with his own, while his other rested on the floor beside my head to support his weight. I smiled against his lips as my free hand slipped up his neck and into his hair, my fingers knotting in his snow colored locks.

After a long and very enjoyable moment, he pulled back, leaving me panting beneath him. He caressed my brow and temple as his eyes drifted over my face, expressing worry that I seldom saw in his gaze. I wanted to say something to sooth him, but what? Whatever was in his eyes, it was something that I couldn't fix. Every time he had left me behind because of his duties, he had come back to find me injured or almost dead. Or possessed. This really was the one time he had come back to me, and I wasn't in some sort of peril. I must have had him worried the entire time he was in the World of the Living. But, there was no more Hideo Mitsuji. With Toshiro's help, I had killed him, turned him into pure reishi and completely removed any physical trace that he had ever existed.

I lifted myself up, propping my elbow behind me as I captured his mouth in a quick, gentle kiss. I pressed my forehead to his and nuzzled his nose as I whispered, "I missed you too."

He captured my mouth with his as his arms wrapped around my body and he lifted me off the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he wasted little time picking me up and carrying me inside. As he walked, articles of clothing seemed to fall off to be scattered down the hallway and through the living room to his bedroom.

We spent the night together, enjoying each other like we had been apart for longer than just a few days. Normally he was the one in control, but tonight, he took the back seat and let me set the pace. He was careful with every touch, every caress, treating me like I would break if he was too rough. He had patience with me when I was hesitant, and guided me when I was lost. We had been intimate for a few weeks, but I hadn't been with anyone before him. I hadn't asked what his history was, but he had enough experience that anything we did, ended with me drowning in pleasure.

When we were exhausted and fully satisfied, I curled up on my side with a smile on my face. His arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me into his body. I couldn't help but to giggle as he shoved the pillow out of his way so his arm could slide under my neck. I snuggled back into him with a happy sigh and nuzzled my nose into his arm. He kissed the top of my head before he settled against me, his body relaxing at my back. I drifted off to sleep in his arms, listening to the steady rhythm of his easy breathing.

My dreams were calm and peaceful that night. They were always easy when he was near, like just his presence could make me relax. I had always been a bit of a worry wart, and it caused my mind to wander into dark places. I had nightmares that stemmed from my fears, growing into horrible constructs that kept me awake at night. When Toshiro was near, I didn't have to worry about all those things. I wasn't strong, nor was I a fighter. But he was, and I trusted him with my life, and my heart.

I woke to the feeling of the sheets moving across my skin and cold air replacing the warmth at my back. I didn't register the sounds of Toshiro getting up until I heard the snick of the shoji door sliding open and closed. Groggily, I rolled onto my stomach and stared blearily at the door. It couldn't have been much before sunrise with the dim light that filtered in from the closed drapes. I opened myself to feeling his spiritual pressure, and found that he had stopped on his porch. I waited for him to move, but even after several minutes, he was still there.

Perhaps I should have left him to sort his thoughts, but I decided against it and rolled out of bed. I started to reach for my clothes, but they weren't where I normally folded them up. It made me smile when I saw one sock hanging over the edge of his dresser, the other across the room on the floor. They had been the last things to go during our activities last night.

I pulled the sheet from the futon, wrapping it loosely around myself before I headed for the door. I followed his path to the back porch, trying not to giggle as I pushed his haori out of the middle of the hallway with my foot. He had left the back door open, but I closed it after I passed through. The early morning air had a chill, so I pulled the sheet tighter around me as I turned to see him sitting on the edge of the porch. The noises I had made drew his attention and he turned his head towards me, a grin quirking the corner of his mouth when he saw what I was wearing.

"Am I over-dressed?" I asked, referring to his yukata versus my sheet.

"Yes," he replied with a quiet chortle. I moved to him, stepping one foot over his legs so I could sit in his lap and straddle his hips. Leaning into him, I pressed my cheek to his shoulder and rested my forehead against the side of his neck. His arms surrounded me, pulling me tighter against him and pinning the sheet against my back. I nuzzled my nose into his neck and let out a contented sigh. He always smelled like the mountains: crisp, clean, and faintly earthy.

"You're up awfully early," I said softly. "There must be something on your mind."

He took in a deep breath and held it for a moment before he let it out. "Grimmjow wants Luien Baras back."

"That's the Numeros that Squad 12 has locked away, right?"

"Yes," he said with a nod. "I believe he was intending to the slaughter whole combat team as a message, but wasn't expecting a captain to be there."

"Have you fought him before?"

"No, and it's been thirty years since I last saw him."

I bit my lip as I put the timeline together in my head. Thirty years ago, the Quincy had tried to kill the Soul King, but shortly before that was Aizen's coup that had created the Espada in the first place. There were only two – no, three Espada still alive, but since I had been a Soul Reaper, they had remained in Hueco Mundo. For one of them to go to the World of the Living, he must have been pissed. I didn't know what the relationship between the Soul Society and the Espada was, but after the Captains and Lieutenants had made a point to leave Luien Baras alive, I could only assume that it was a friendly one.

I sat back so I could see his eyes, but he was pointedly avoiding my gaze. His face was hard with pent up emotions, his eyes reflecting the thoughts buzzing through his head. If I thought that I could say something to ease his mind, I would have. But how could you ease something that you didn't understand? I let the sheet slip through my grip and reached out to run a hand down the front of his yukata, trailing over where the blood splatter had been on his haori.

"Who's blood was that?"

I felt him stiffen with my question. His reaction alone told me that whoever it had been, it had been bad. His gaze met mine and I could see the pain that he was feeling.

"Amano."

I didn't let my expression change despite the urge to cringe. Sanado Koji was our 12th seat, and the leader of the 8th combat team. If he wasn't the one who was injured, it was one of the newer Soul Reapers. I didn't know everyone in the squad, but Toshiro made it a point to at least meet everyone on their first day. He cared for everyone in the squad. It was his duty to protect everyone under him, and he took his duties personally. It was why he had saved me in the beginning; it was his responsibility as my captain.

I bit my lip as I tried to think of something encouraging to say. Against an Arrancar, and an Espada no less, I didn't stand much of a chance, so for a new Soul Reaper an encounter with an Arrancar was certain death. Without asking I knew that he was dead, and Toshiro was blaming himself.

"How is Sanado?" I asked, trying to distract him from himself.

"He wants to give up his position at the 12th seat," he said with a sigh.

"Well, the 9th seat is open," I said lightly.

"He feels that he isn't fit to be leading the combat team anymore, I hardly believe that a promotion would make him feel any more fit for the position."

"How do you feel?"

Finally, he met my gaze. For only a moment, the raw emotional pain that he was feeling showed, but it vanished as he schooled his face, his expressions slipping behind his annoyed mask. I cupped his cheeks in my hands, completely dropping the sheet in the process as I raised up to kiss him.

"You don't have to hide from me," I cooed. He remained frozen for a long moment, and I knew he was considering my words. Slowly his hand slid up my bare back and pulled me into him. He hugged me, his arms straining not to squeeze me as hard as he wanted to as he pinned my arms between us and forced me closer.

"It's my fault that they are dead. It's my duty to protect my squad. There is no one else to blame but myself," he said, his words biting with the anger he felt towards himself.

"You are only one person. If you hadn't gone to the World of the Living, I'm sure more of them would have fallen victim. But, you can't blame yourself for someone else's actions."

"We left with eighteen squad members," he said as his arms tightened around me. "We returned with twelve."

My eyes widened at his words. Six of them had died to Grimmjow. That explained why he was so bothered. The 8th Combat Team was a training team; they weren't supposed to see more than a few basic hollows on their mission. It was supposed to be a controlled environment, and Toshiro was supposed to go just to make them feel safe after the Arrancar attacked them on their last mission. No doubt Toshiro would request that they be moved to another squad, believing that their trust in him had been ruined.

"Were they all from the Rukon Districts?" I asked softly.

"Yes." His voice was almost a growl. Becoming a Soul Reaper was one of the few ways to get into the Seireitei, so many of the people who joined our ranks were from the Rukon Districts. It offered them a better, but more dangerous life. But, Soul Reapers from the Rukon Districts typically didn't have much of a family, nor the money to perform a proper funeral if they passed away before accruing a savings. The higher in rank you were, the more you made. It was just a fact, unless you were like Rangiku and constantly blowing your money on booze and vanity items.

I didn't say anything after that. Whatever words came to mind, struck me as something that would make him even more angry at himself. I had never been the one to offer words of encouragement; I had left that talent all to my sister. So I did what I knew I could, and I held him as he dealt with his thoughts. I didn't know if I was a hindrance or not, but he didn't ask me to go. He held me as tightly as he was willing to, his arms straining on occasion as his thoughts made his muscles tense and relax.

Before we had come together, he had been distant and cold towards everyone. He was still that way, the practice of keeping his thoughts to himself having schooled his ability to voice his feelings into rusted silence. He'd only said how he really felt about me when I had been out of my mind with sorrow after my sister was lost to me. He was still closed off, but his feelings came through his actions instead of his words. I didn't mind. Someone had hurt him in his past, and I wasn't about to go reopening his heart's wounds.

I loved him. Even if he couldn't say it in return, I knew he felt the same way by the way he looked at me, held me, and kissed my scars whenever he caught me thinking about my sister. Maybe his possessive nature had worn off on me, but I couldn't imagine my life without him now that he was in it, and I wouldn't give it up for anything, or anyone. I was his, and he was mine.


	2. She Who Confides

 

Two days after Toshiro had returned, I found myself sorting through the mess that Rangiku had made of her office. It was a pleasant distraction to the thoughts that had started buzzing through my head about my sister. With Toshiro back, I had nothing else to occupy my thoughts like the worry I felt for her did. It was an all consuming thought that kept coming back to run through my mind over and over, distracting me anything else I could possible do to stop it.

I had… gone to see her yesterday. They hadn't allowed me entrance into the Squad 12 facility before and just given me news of her condition, but for some reason Lieutenant Akon had allowed me inside. I had been elated at that moment, but when I finally got inside, gotten to actually see her, my heart had felt like it stopped.

She had looked almost gaunt with sickness. Her face had been thin like she hadn't been getting enough to eat; her once luscious black hair dull in its braid; her once slimmed body atrophied from the imposed bed rest. The shackles that had restrained her to the medical bed hadn't helped either. Nemuri, Captain Kurotsuchi's assistant, had expressed it was required and I hadn't argued. She was still possessed by Mitsuji's soul candy, making her violent and a high risk for self harm when she was awake. It was also the reason she looked this way. The soul candy was slowly eating away at her spirit energy, and she wasn't strong enough to produce it faster than she burned through it.

My visit to see her had left me feeling more guilty than I ever had before. It was my fault after all. If I had made the call to terminate her pregnancy when they first caught her, they could have most likely removed the soul candy and I would have my sister back. But, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. She and Daisuke had been trying to have a baby for almost forty years now. I couldn't be the reason that they lost that opportunity, and Daisuke had chosen to let the baby come to term before treating Mio.

I had given up on working after seeing Mio. My head hadn't been in the right space to get anything done, let alone to use my shikai. It wasn't so much that my thoughts kept running away from me, but the urge to try and do something about it. There was nothing that I could do, but I kept trying to come up with ways that would work in a perfect world. I controlled my mind's eye with my thoughts, and with my attention split between my failed attempts at problem solving and what I was doing, my control was nonexistent. I had only released my shikai for a minute before I felt the power reach out on its own and dropped it. It was how I started to lose control, and I knew better than to try and fight it on my own.

I wasn't much better today, but it gave me an excuse to attack the mess that Rangiku had made of her office. Yumichika would probably be irritated that I hadn't returned to finish their training area, but it was just one thing on a two page list of buildings in their area that I had yet to fix. As far as I was concerned, he could wait.

"Are you done with that paperwork yet?" Rangiku asked as she walked through the door to her office. I would have been annoyed with her if I hadn't been thankful for the mind-numbing task of cleaning up after Paperocalypse.

"I think it will take me a few days to finish taking care of your mess," I commented as I shuffled several random papers into a neat stack.

"Not tomorrow?" She asked, sounding surprised.

"No, I have other duties besides cleaning up after you," I said with an over exaggerated eye roll.

"Since when?"

I drew my attention away from the papers and gave her a sly smile. "I only do your paperwork for you because the other officers have deadlines to meet that depend on your signatures."

"Aw, and here I thought it was because you liked spending time with me," she said with a pout.

"I do, but you usually leave me alone to do your paperwork while you run off to take care of all the fun stuff, like buying sake with Lady Nanao."

"Hey, you can't blame me for that one. Head Captain Kyoraku tasked me with that," she valiantly defended.

"That's because you are his drinking buddy," I replied flatly.

"Well, that is true." She shrugged as she came over and sat on the edge of the desk.

I handed her a pile of papers that required her signature before I returned to sorting the stack I had been working on. She let out a heavy sigh before she scooted further onto the desk and started feathering through the pages. It wasn't more than a minute later and she slapped the paper down on her leg.

"When are you going to go pick up that thing you had me order?" She asked. I wasn't fooled, she just wanted an excuse to not look at the paperwork.

"It's not a thing, it's an instrument," I corrected her.

"Whatever," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "When are you going to go get it?"

I hesitated in my preening of the papers as I contemplated her question. "I don't know. I haven't asked permission to go to the World of the Living yet."

"Speaking of the captain," Rangiku not so subtly started, "are you gonna tell me about what happened?"

"What?" I asked dumbly as I turned to her.

"Between you and Toshiro," she said with a sigh.

I blinked at her, clearly showing my confusion.

"He's been grumpy since yesterday and I know he saw you two nights ago."

"Oh, that doesn't have to do with us," I said with a shake of my head.

"Huh? How so?" She asked, sounding baffled.

"We are fine," I said as I flashed her a large smile.

"If you're fine, then why is he so moody?" She asked suspiciously.

She was digging for information and I knew it. I wasn't about to go telling her things that Toshiro had refused to. She was so full of gossip that you never knew what she would divulge during a drinking spell.

"I don't know," I said as I stood and started sorting the stacks of paper on her desk as I explained what I wanted from her. "This stack needs to be reviewed today so it can go to requisitions tomorrow. This one needs your signature today, and this one needs to be addressed tomorrow."

"What? You're leaving me with homework?" She asked, clearly put out.

"Yes, or it will never get done. The rest of the squad had deadlines too, ya know."

"You are no fun," she said with a pout.

"Hey, you're the Lieutenant. I can't do all your paperwork for you, just make it easier," I said as I picked of the last remaining stack and headed for the door. Rangiku let out a huff as I left her office, making me struggle to hide a laugh.

I made my way down to Toshiro's office on the other side of the third floor. I hadn't seen him since yesterday morning, but with what had happened in the World of the Living, I could only imagine what he had been dealing with.

The doors to his office had been left open, but as I walked in I realized that he wasn't here. I made my way over to his desk and placed the stack of papers on the corner like I had always done. I hadn't spent much time in his office, having pretty much darted in and out as quickly as possible before we had started seeing each other.

With the room empty, I wandered over to the window that overlooked the courtyard. I hadn't realize that his office was almost directly above the one I shared with Amagi and Ono, the window sharing a wall with the door to our office below. From his window, I could see of the main buildings that were occupied by our squad from the housing barracks to the training arena and through the buildings, his and Rangiku's houses. It was a spectacular view for someone who's motivations relied so heavily on his people.

Footfalls reverberated through the floor behind me and I smiled as arms surrounded me. I leaned back with the pull of Toshiro's embrace until I was sheltered in the curve of him. I drew my hand up and gripped his forearm to secure his arms around me, earning me a possessive squeeze that had me wanting to giggle. He nuzzled the chains of my kanzashi out of his way as his mouth came to my ear to murmur, "Good morning."

"It's almost noon, you know," I commented as I turned my head and pressed my temple to his cheek.

He hummed with understanding before asking, "How did you sleep?"

"Terribly," I answered before I could rethink what I had said. In reality I hadn't slept for even a minute. I had been up all night avoiding the dreams that would come after yesterday's events.

He chuckled before he shifted to stand straight. I glanced up to see his attention turned to what was outside window and followed his gaze to look out across the squad's buildings.

"It's a good view for a Captain," I commented.

"After the Quincy destroyed most of the buildings in the Seireitei, I had the squad's layout reorganized this way, just for this view."

"If I didn't know you, I'd say you were a snoop," I said with a small laugh. "You have a clear visual on most of the officer's rooms."

"Someone has to keep an eye on you," he said with a small chuckle. I jokingly elbowed him, but quickly settled back against him. He held me for a long, satisfying moment as we both stared outside, watching the squad members who were moving about. It was only the third story, but from up here I felt like a watchful presence making sure that everyone was safe in the squad compound. It fit Toshiro's personality so well.

"What do you see when you look out this window?" I asked, breaking the comforting silence.

"My squad," he replied automatically.

"Not that. What do you feel about what you see?" I corrected him.

He let out a soft sigh and rested his chin on top of my head. "You do like asking difficult questions."

"You know what I see?" I asked as I pulled his arms tighter to me.

"What?"

"Unity, trust, cohesion."

He was silent for a long time, and I had a moment to second guess myself. I knew he was conflicted about what had happened in the World of the Living, but had I been prying into something I shouldn't have? Thoughts raced through my head as I tried to come up with some way to save the conversation. I started to say something but caught myself as I felt him relax at my back, letting some of his weight rest on me. His arm shifted and pulled away from my grip as his hand lifted. He caught my chin and turned my head until I was looking up at him. He didn't hesitate as he pressed his mouth to mine in a gentle kiss.

He pulled back just enough to leave his mouth hovering over mine. I opened my eyes and met his aquamarine orbs for a long, intense moment. He kissed me again, caressing my lips with his as his grip around me tightened. The feel of him made my heart flutter as I realized he wasn't just kissing me, but showing me how he felt. He was gentle, his actions tender and possessive while still demanding more.

He broke away after a long moment and kissed my nose before he pulled back and moved towards his desk. I took a moment to collect myself, straightening my shihakusho and checking to make sure that my kanzashi was still correctly placed before I drew away from the window and turned to follow his path. Toshiro had moved around his desk and collected the stack of papers that I had brought with me to filter through.

"Half of these are overdue," he grumbled as he paused on a paper for a moment before flipping to the next.

I nodded as I approached him and moved around to his side of the desk before resting my butt on the edge. "I suppose you can blame me for that. Being unconscious for three weeks held up Rangiku's paperwork."

"That isn't your fault." He let out a sigh and began separating the pile into overdue and not. It was a very lopsided pile. "Rangiku just needs to do paperwork for once in her life."

I watched him sort the papers for a long moment before I decided that now was as good of a time as any to ask him for permission. Hesitantly I said, "I, uh, have a question you're probably not going to like hearing."

He hummed for me to continue, his attention still focused on the papers.

I licked my lips nervously. How to phrase this in a way that would sound like it wasn't a bad thing… "I had Rangiku order me something a few weeks back, and I need permission to go pick it up in a few days."

His brows knit together as he thought over my request, his eyes still scanning over papers. "Why do you need permission?"

"It's being delivered to the Kurosaki residence," I said lightly. Maybe he was distracted enough not to realize that I had to go to the World of the Living.

Nope. No such luck.

His hardened aquamarine gaze lifted to meet mine, making me wish I hadn't asked.

"What is it?" He asked, surprising me when it wasn't a flat no.

"A guzheng - a Human type of a zither like my koto," I explained. "Rangiku found a magazine when she took my gigai shopping that had all sorts of Human instruments in it. I couldn't help myself when I saw it, and she was nice enough to order it for me when she was in the World of the Living a few weeks ago."

He was silent for a long moment, so I continued.

"I normally would just go pick it up when I was next tasked with a konso and never have even brought it up, but with what happened a few days ago I was hoping you would go with me."

His expression relaxed when his eyes lost their intense edge. It wasn't much, but it was something. Crisis averted.

"You're back on the rotation?" he asked, referring to the way we were tasked with performing konso and completely changing subjects.

"I was put back on when I could perform my shikai again," I said with a nod.

He watched me for a long moment before he let out a long sigh and returned his attention to the papers in front of him. "I thought they would wait until you had full control back."

I almost panicked when I thought he knew that I was having issues controlling my shikai. I hadn't told anyone that I was having issues. I even went so far as to make an excuse to leave when I felt myself starting to lose it. I started to make another excuse, but caught myself when it occurred to me that he was referring to my damaged bond.

"I can still do everything that I could before. It just hurts," I said with a shrug.

He turned his attention back to me and quirked his brow. "Show me."

"What? Here?" I questioned.

"No, you might send some of the squad members into a panic," he said as he pushed away from his desk and stood.

"If I pay attention I can keep my spiritual pressure dulled," I said with a mock pout. Lately I hadn't been putting any effort into dulling down my spiritual pressure because of the pain, but if I wanted to I could.

He let out a short laugh and started towards the door. I had a moment to consider how not to use my shikai, but I followed him, moving quickly so I could walk at his side. If I tried to make up an excuse, he would just shoot me down. He was my Captain after all; if he didn't want me doing some duty, he would just tell me no.

"We don't have to do this now, I know you're busy with everything you missed while you were in the World of the Living," I said as we moved down the stairs.

"Most of it is already late thanks to Rangiku. It can wait another day."

I quickly tried to think of a way to distract him. He would know I was having issues the moment I released my shikai. Though, that wasn't such a bad thing. He had helped me work through my shikai the first time I had released it, and again when I was learning how to see and track spiritual pressures. I wasn't used to having more power than I could handle. Since I had achieved my full shikai, I had only used it a few times in the Soul Society before my bond was damaged. It had been a lot of power, but at the time I had been able to harness it. I lost my sense of self, my personality and emotions, but I could control it.

"Toshiro," I called to him as I took his hand and stopped on the steps. He turned, moving with his hand to face me from a few steps down. He gave me a questioning look as he waited for me to continue. I swallowed down the lump that had appeared in my throat as I considered my words.

"I'd rather not do this today," I said hesitantly.

"You'll have to eventually," he replied smoothly.

"My head isn't in it," I denied sheepishly.

"What has you so bothered?" He asked gently.

"I-I'm fine, I just don't want to use my shikai."

He searched my face, watching me as I fidgeted under his scrutiny. After a moment he cooed in a low voice, "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"I…I saw Mio yesterday," I admitted after a long pause.

"I figured it was something like that," he replied in a similar tone.

I blinked down at him in surprise. "How?"

"While I was gone, you knocked a dozen projects off your list," he said as he took a step up so he was at my eye level. "When I came back, you were meditating with your zanpakuto, using your shikai to help repair your bond. You haven't activated your shikai since for more than a minute."

I frowned and dropped my gaze to the floor. I knew my spiritual pressure was loud, especially with my bond the way it was. It was the reason that Yumichika had been following me around the other day instead of a lower ranking squad member. I shouldn't have been surprised that Toshiro could feel me, even when I was a good distance away. Of course he would notice when my shikai was running and when it wasn't. "Is it that obvious?"

He lifted his free hand and drew his fingers through the chains of my kanzashi as he said, "only to me."

"She's not doing very well," I said in a small voice.

"There isn't much they can do."

I nodded as I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth and gnawed on it. He pulled gently on my hand, coaxing me to look back up at him as I took a step down. I couldn't hold his gaze as the urge to start crying burned my eyes, so I leaned forward to rest my forehead on his shoulder so I could hide in the fabric of his haori.

"I don't know what to do," I admitted. "I feel like I need to do something, but there's nothing I am able to do."

"Wait for her," he murmured as his hand trailed to the back of my neck to gently massage my skin. "Wait for her and believe in her will to survive."

"I should be doing more," I disagreed as I stepped closer to the edge of the step and slipped my hands under his haori to wrap around his waist.

"No," he cooed as his arms surrounded me and lightly held me to him. "What do you think she would want you to do? Blame yourself for something you had no control over?"

"No," I whispered.

"Lose sleep over her condition?"

"No."

"Make yourself miserable over something that you have no control over?"

"I get it," I mumbled.

"I don't think you do," he said, his voice rumbling in his chest. "Let it go, Ria. You can't do anything, so let it go."

"I have to do something," I said as my grip around his waist tightened.

"Yes, you need to have faith in her and wait."

"That isn't enough," I choked out.

"Yes, it is. It is everything and anything that you can do."

I couldn't help myself as I finally started to cry. I tried my best to keep utterly silent as the warm trails ran down my cheeks, only failing to keep quiet as I gasped a small hiccup every so often. His hand ran over my back, trying to ease the turmoil inside me. He didn't need to though, because with every tear that fell from my eyes I resigned myself to his words. There was nothing I could do. I just had to wait, have faith in her, trust that Captain Kurotsuchi could save her, and believe.

The weight of my decision seemed to lift off my shoulders, filling me with a sense of peace that I hadn't felt in weeks. The tears stopped falling from my eyes and my chest relaxed making it easier to breath as the hiccups stopped. I slowly lifted my head to look over his shoulder and out the window over the landing of the stairs as I rested my chin on his shoulder. I let out a soft sigh and let my head tilt to the side to bump against his.

"I'm not usually tall enough to look over your shoulder," I said, my voice still rough from the strain of crying.

"You're standing on a six-inch step," he commented as he pushed back against my head just a little.

"I know, it just seems like a different view," I said softly as I sniffed.

"You are short. I supposed the world looks different from down there."

I laughed, the infectious sound bubbling up from nowhere. I leaned back, slipping my arms from around his waist to rest my palms on his chest as I met his soft aquamarine eyes. "How do you do what you do?"

"The same way you do what you do," he replied with a relaxed grin.

"I don't do anything," I said with a small shake of my head.

"You do," he quickly said before I could continue. "You may not realize it, but you do."

He pulled his arms from around me and cupped my face in his hands. He drew his thumbs under my eyes, wiping away the wetness that remained from my tears. "Stop trying to bottle up your emotions."

"I can't help it. It's what I've always done," I said in a small voice.

"It's what I've done for years too, but when you ask, I try to articulate and open up to you," he reasoned.

"And I just try to avoid the question," I said, understanding what he was referring to.

"Yes," he murmured.

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out as I dropped my gaze to look at his shihakusho. "I'm sorry."

He tilted my head back just before his lips brushed across mine in a teasing caress. For a moment I was hesitant to pursue his tantalizing touch with where we were, but I quickly decided that for a moment, I didn't care, and knotted my hands in his shihakusho to pull him closer. I rose up on my toes to press my lips firmly to his, denying him the ability to tease me like he enjoyed.

I could feel his smile against my lips as our kiss turned from something almost chaste to a heated beast that had collywobbles wreaking havoc in my stomach and heat pooling low in my body. His hands drifted down my body, drawing faint noises from my throat as he touched places that only he had ever explored. His hands finally found my hips and he flexed his hands, making the pads of his fingers dig deliciously into my body. He guided me to the side, turning me until my back hit the railing and forced me to arch my back as his body pressed to mine.

"Toshiro," I breathed out in a breathy moan as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Should we be doing this in the middle of the stairs?"

"I don't care," he responded in a growl before his mouth conquered mine, reducing my ability to make word to merely moans. I let myself fall into the moment and gave into my urge to feather my fingers through his hair. My touch drew his body to press harder into mine, grinding my back into the railing and arching me back over it as he pressed forward in a controlling movement.

A loud boom shook the world, startling us out of our moment. I instantly opened myself to feeling spiritual pressures and recognized Amagi and Ono's reiatsu as another boom shook the world. I knew that boom was coming from Ono's shikai, but what were they doing fighting at the same time?

"Are they sparring, or is something going on?" I breathily asked between pants.

"Probably just sparring," Toshiro replied as he looked in the direction of their spiritual pressures. He remained pressed against me for a long moment as he considered their spiritual pressures before he started to pull away to move down the stairs. I refused to release my grip on him though, holding him to me as he gave me a questioning glance.

Quickly I said the first thing that came to mind. "Will you keep me from falling?"

It took him a moment to understand, but he slowly flashed me a small grin as he said, "of course."

I drew my zanpakuto with my left hand, letting her blade rest on my forearm as I lifted her high enough so that I could see my reflection in the metal while still pressed so close to Toshiro.

"Tankyu no Unmei, Maebure no Shukufuku," I softly called to her. My reflection in the metal shifted, becoming her image as my shikai flared to life. My armor started to form, pulling reishi from the structure around us. I stopped it for only a moment as I reached out with my mind's eye and pulled from the air and the grass outside to keep myself from weakening the building. Forming my armor was an automatic reaction when I activated my shikai whereas once it had been a challenge to make it happen. Now the golden reishi slid along my skin and over my shihakusho, finding where it belonged and turning into the plates that protected me. Toshiro's hand left my waist as the obi started to form under his hand, and I shifted so my back wasn't grinding into the rail so my armor to form in the space. I made sure to keep my spiritual pressure as minimal as possible, easily finding the control I had been lacking.

As my armor finished forming, I slid Tankyu no Unmei back into her sheath but didn't release her hilt. So long as I remained touching her, my shikai would continue to run and this close to Toshiro I didn't need to use her to defend myself.

"You feel steady," Toshiro said, referring to my own spiritual pressure.

"You know how to clear my head when I cannot," I said in a flat, emotionless tone. He was right, even with the headache I felt more steady than I had in days.

"You worry too much."

"And you like to do the same thing with responsibility over things out of your control," I commented just before a series of booms shook us.

I turned fully to my mind's eye, finding that I had become comfortable enough with my full shikai to have already sorted the world into categories. I spread my attention outwards, guiding my mind's eye through the world around us. In the World of the Living it had taken my armor to be able to see far away, but as my power touched the reishi that the Soul Society was made of I could see everything.

Toshiro's hands steadied me by circling my waist over my obi as I started to sway and I felt my attention shrink down until I was looking at just him. I blinked even though I could see from my eyes as I realized that my body was still yearning for him. It was an odd sensation without the emotions to go with it, and despite my best efforts I couldn't seem to push the desire away from the front of my mind. I shook my head to try and dislodge the craving for him from my mind, but it stayed firmly planted and growing stronger as the motion had the front of my body moving against his.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly.

"My attraction to you is an all-consuming distraction. Unlike my emotions, I cannot seem to push this feeling out of my way."

"If I let you go, you'll fall," he reasoned.

I nodded in understanding. "Touch something besides my armor."

With my instruction, his hands slid down my obi where they had been to rest on the curves of my hips. As soon as his skin left the metal of my armor, my world returned and my attention spread outward again. The feelings were still there, tickling my deepest parts like a shadow, but I was able to ignore them in favor or pursuing my directive.

I sent myself seeking, following the path that I would have if I were walking towards them. I left the office building that Toshiro and I were in and sought the training arena on the other side of Squad 10's main compound. As I found Amagi and Ono in the center of the arena, I felt around the area to find more people. I didn't know names, but I recognized the people that most commonly came to the office for something. They were all part of their combat teams, so I could guess that this was something planned. With that understanding I turned my attention back on the two combating officers, watching with my mind's eye as their zanpakuto clashed.

"What do you see?" I distantly heard Toshiro ask. I remained watching the battle, but pushed my mind's eye back just enough so I could see through my own eyes like an overlay to my mind's eye.

"They appear to be sparring just as you thought," I said slowly, finding it difficult to focus on making words and holding myself at the training arena.

"Good, that's what they should be doing," he said smoothly.

"You knew?" I asked in surprise.

"They asked permission yesterday to use the training arena." I felt him shrug through his touch on my hips, making me roll my eyes.

"Then why am I bothering to look?"

"Because you are willing to use your shikai again."

"I just didn't want the feeling of you to stop," I admitted bluntly, earning me a deep chuckle.

I felt the boom of Ono's shikai strike my mind's eye, slamming back into my body and buckling my knees with the force of it. Toshiro caught me before I could fall and hit the stairs, but my head rang with the power of the hit. My hand slipped from my hilt as I tried to catch myself despite Toshiro's hold, and with it my shikai dropped leaving me blind, disoriented and struggling to tell up from down.

"What happened?" Toshiro asked as I felt his hand grip the back of my neck to hold me still. I shook my head despite his grip, trying to clear the need to see with my other sight.

"I think I got hit," I replied hesitantly. My zanpakuto had once mentioned that being hit while my mind's eye was away would disorient me, but this was like being stripped of my senses. "I've never been away from my body when I've been disarmed. I don't know how to come back."

"Your eyes are still your zanpakuto's." He ran his thumb over my brow, tempting me to look up at him even though I couldn't see. My hands were shaking as I gripped his uniform while I tried to force my sight to come back. It was like the battery had been removed from my flash light, leaving me unable to turn my mind's eye on and off, as well as my normal vision.

"Tankyu no Unmei, how do I fix this?" I asked aloud, to startled to ask her in my head.

"Your mind's eye is still there," she said aloud, drawing my attention to the direction of her voice. "Return to your shikai, and retrieve it."

I felt her soft hands wrap around my left, gently persuading my fingers to relax and release Toshiro's shihakusho. She guided my hand to the hilt of our sword and slid my fingers through the handguard. I heard her call out our shikai's name and the headache stab my mind before I was thrown back to the training arena. Distantly I felt my body ragdoll as my attention was consumed by sorting the world into categories and forming my armor once more. I could hear Toshiro and my zanpakuto exchanging words, but I didn't have the mind to listen.

It took me several minutes to become oriented in my mind's eye, but once I was, I observed the arena and the sparring match that was still going on. They must have been putting on a show for their combat teams, because neither of them appeared to be injured. Amagi had seeded his zanpakuto's shikai, having turning half of the arena into thorny vines and large yellow blossoms that were still unopened. Ono on the other hand, was surrounded by destroyed vegetation. His zanpakuto's shikai let him create sound waves that he could turn into a sonic boom that would destroy most objects or shake you to bits if you got caught in a continuous wave. The entire center arena was cracked and falling apart from their fighting, leaving large chunks of concrete scattered over the walkway and across the arena floor.

I never sparred with the other officers, but I had watched several of their bouts over the years. I only sparred with Ichika and once with Toshiro, but that had been with wooden swords and not our zanpakuto. I wasn't ready to actually fight someone, but I had become open to trying since Mitsuji had so easily overpowered me. I didn't like being helpless, but I hadn't realized how weak I was until it was too late to do anything about it.

"Do you feel that?" Ono asked, dropping his offensive stance as he turned to face the offices.

"Yeah," Amagi answered as he followed his gaze. "That's Yamamoto."

"Really?" Ono asked in surprise. "I guess I haven't felt her so strongly before."

"She is still healing. It makes her spiritual pressure flare."

I finally understood what had drawn their attention and paused their combat, so I put some effort into suppressing my spiritual pressure to a less obvious presence. It hurt, but if they could feel me from over here, then the other squad members in the offices were probably sweating bullets.

"I bet the captain is helping her," Ono commented as he returned to his stance. Amagi tilted his head and let his gaze sweep over the area before he returned his attention to Ono.

"Let's continue."

I drew myself away from the arena, watching them as their spiritual pressures flared and they clashed. I hesitated as I felt their power rise, and focused closely on the two men. I knew that I was paranoid even after Mitsuji's death that his soul candies were sleeping inside of people. I couldn't help myself, and often times I saw things that weren't there. But, even knowing that, their reiatsu felt darker than I remembered. Maybe it was my bond, maybe I was imagining things, and maybe they had just changed since I had last looked into them, but Amagi-

My mind's eye was forced back to my body as I felt Toshiro's hand brush across my armor, making my body tremble. My breath caught in my throat as his hand ghosted over my breast plate, teasing over crest of my breasts before sliding up to my shoulder pauldron. I started to drop my shikai, but his hand closed over mine to hold my hand to my hilt. His other hand continued its trail down my arm guard and to the tips of my fingers.

"It's too much," I said breathily as I started to pull back but discovered that wherever we were didn't allow me to move like that. Gods, I was so consumed by his touch that I couldn't see anything but him. I was stuck in my mind's eye as his touch moved across my armor, unable to come back to my normal vision.

He gave a slow grunt as his touch left my armor to trail up the exposed skin of my underarm. Every time the chains of my armor were in the way of his touch, he briefly brushed over them, causing me to flinch with the wave of desire that crashed into me only to fade when he moved back to my skin. It was so much worse than his caress along the plates of my armor had been. I caught his hand just as his touch started to tickle my upper arm, but he spun my grip off his wrist in a quick motion and returned his teasing touch to my breast plate, running his hand down my body.

He continued his delicious torture for what felt like hours. I was panting and unable to make words as his hand trailed up the plates over my thighs. I couldn't help myself and gasped as his hand brushed the plate closest to my most intimate parts. Driven by my desire I forced my hand out from under his, dropping my shikai as my vision came back and I was finally able to gauge the room around us. He had moved us back into his office while I was away from my body and placed me on the couch. He was kneeling between my legs as I sat up right, and before I could consider my actions I slid forward and captured his mouth in a heated kiss.

"You are horrible," I moaned. "I should have never told you about how distracting you are."

"Blame your zanpakuto," he murmured.

"It's always her fault," I groaned as I wrapped my arms over his shoulders to make sure he couldn't get away.

"She knew you would linger and suggested that I bring you back," he crooned against my lips. "I only know two ways to do that, and this seemed much more fun."

I couldn't keep the delighted laugh from bubbling up at his words. "That is an excuse if I ever heard one."

"You are staying with me tonight," he ordered as his hands found my back side, sliding me closer until I was pressed firmly to his body. "I have a meeting to get to soon, or I'd take you home right now."

"It's only noon and you have me this hot and bothered. You can't just leave me like this," I complained.

He chuckled and nipped at my bottom lip. "It will make tonight just that much more fun."


	3. She Who is Vulnerable

The feeling of cold air brushing across my neck made me shiver, drawing me out of a pleasant dream. I rolled over and pulled the sheet tighter around me, trying to hide from the chill so I could return to the quiet lagoon lurking behind my eyes. I could almost see it again, the swirling koi dancing through lily pads, the water trickling softly down the rock waterfall. It was so peaceful...

Cold caressed my back, drawing me away from the lagoon once more. I groaned and rolled back over, hiding in the warmth of Toshiro's body as I snuggled into him and buried my face into the crook of his shoulder and neck. I felt him shake as if he were laughing, but I ignored it as I settled into the feel of him and tried to relax back into my little lagoon. I was more awake now, but if I could just lay here for a few minutes, surely I could drift back to sleep.

I felt his hand trail over the curve of my hip, the feeling of his gentle touch making me relax even more. That was... until his fingers became ice cold. My eyes flew open and I startled, shoving away from him in an attempt to get away from the shocking chill. He laughed out loud this time as he let me roll to the other side of the bed.

"What the hell?" I half shouted as I rubbed the spot he had touched me with his frozen fingers.

"Good morning," he said with a smug grin on his face.

"That is not how you say good morning," I scolded as I protectively pulled the sheets up to cover everything but my head.

He laughed again and snagged the corner of the sheet before dragging it towards him. Tangled in the fabric, I could do nothing to get away as he trapped me against him. His cold touch returned, making me violently squirm to get away.

I struggled valiantly, fighting in earnest to get away, but it was no use. I ended up completely pinned and unable to do more than giggle and beg for him to stop as he assaulted me with his cold touch.

"Stop," I gasped for the hundredth time as I jerked when his fingers brushed across my ribs.

"Are you awake?" he finally asked.

"Yes! I'm awake," I exclaimed. I was panting from my struggles, but he seemed completely unphased as he held the sheet tightly to me, pinning one arm to my hip. I had managed to get one hand free, but he had quickly snatched it, trapping my hand under his arm.

His hand became warm against my skin and I let out a relieved sigh as I relaxed back. His grip around the sheet loosened and I used the freedom to untangle my hands.

"That is no way to wake someone up," I snipped at him once I was free. I settled on my back, making sure that my hands couldn't get caught again. I would never, ever tell him but I enjoyed waking up next to him even when he mercilessly teased me. Cold hands or kisses, it made no difference to me. Of course, I'd take kisses over being startled awake by ice on my skin, but I wasn't picky.

He let out a deep chuckle as he propped himself up on his elbow so he could look down at me, flashing me a mischievous grin as he said, "I think it worked quiet well."

I rolled my eyes and moved to get up. I would not give him the satisfaction of a happy smile. His arm caught my hips, dragging me back just as I had been about to get up, earning him a startled squeak.

"Not again," I whined as I pushed against his hand as he gripped my hip bone, holding me securely to him.

"What are you doing today?" he questioned softly into my ear.

I stopped struggling with his question and put some thought into his words. After he had gone to his meeting yesterday, I had made a very productive effort on getting some of my projects completed, much to Yumichika's delight. Most of the broken buildings in the Seireitei belonged to Squad 11 after all. I still had a lot of work to do, but today I was taking a break from worrying about buildings.

"Practicing with Ichika for a few hours, then finishing off the remains of Paperocalypse," I said thoughtfully.

He hummed in understanding before asking, "what are you working on with Ichika?"

"Zanjutsu mostly, since I am terrible and she enjoys causing me pain, but we might work on her kido depending on how badly she beats me," I said with a sigh. "So, if I am covered in bruises tonight, you'll know why."

He nodded, his scruffy chin dragging across my skin. "She can be rather violent."

That was for sure…

* * *

"Put your guard up!"

My back smacked against the wooden floor of the training area as my practice sword flew across the room. Ichika Abarai stood above me, pointing her practice sword down at my nose with a disappointed slant to her mouth.

"Your zanjutsu sucks," she commented as she stepped back and offered me her hand. I took it, and pulled myself to my feet.

"I told you that when you offered to train with me," I reminded her as I started walking across the room.

"I know, but I didn't realize how bad you were."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I bent down to pick up my practice sword and turned back to her. "You train with your father all the time, so clearly there has to be a skill gap between us."

"Yeah, it's pretty obvious," she said smartly.

"Hey now," I called out, mockingly offended, "I don't recall you being able to talk to your zanpakuto. You can start throwing stones when you achieve bankai before me. Until then, zip it, miss 18th seat of Squad 5."

She rolled her eyes and propped her hand on her hip. "Oh geeze, you sound like my Mom."

I had to hold in a laugh. Ichika had a smart mouth, so unlike her mother. Most people wouldn't have guessed she was Rukia's daughter because of her bright crimson hair and personality. Only her vibrant violet eyes and similar reiatsu tied her to Squad 13 Captain. Everything else was so much like her father. She was even a good six inches taller than Rukia, making her taller than me as well. She even wore her hair in a ponytail like Renji used to, but since we were training she had pulled her hair into a sloppy bun on the top of her head.

"Come on, let's go practice your kido. Zanjutsu is getting old," I said as I started walking for the sword stands.

"You're just tired of getting your ass beat," she said in a huff as she followed.

"Yes, but I can compensate for my lack of sword skills with kido and my shikai. You are good at like, two Hado and the rest blow up in your face. Besides, we are supposed to be training, not just me."

I placed the practice sword on the rack and retrieved Tankyu no Unmei from where I had rested her against the wall. I didn't tell her that her father had approached me about helping her with her kido. I was good with kido and incantations outside of combat, but I tended to freeze up and completely forget what kido was when in the middle of a fight.

"She's too stubborn to learn from Rukia, and my kido just blows up in my face," I remembered him stating as he sat on one of the benches in one of the garden areas our squad maintained.

"And her kido doesn't backfire?" I had asked, skeptical of his request.

"Sometimes," he said with a sigh. "I think she just believes she can't do it though. She can perform a sokatsui and byakurai sometimes, but she hasn't been willing to try and improve with us."

"Why do you think I will have success with her when both of you have failed?"

"She looks up to you," he stated simply. "You aren't much older than her and already you're a 3rd seat. We try not to pressure her into progressing through the ranks, but with who we are, it can't be helped."

"I can imagine. A Captain and a Lieutenant for parents, and another Captain as her uncle. The pressure to become similar must be great."

"Yeah, she never really had the chance to grow up like a kid. She's always been trying to be a Soul Reaper." He had shrugged dismissively at the time, but I had understood where he was going with his words.

"I'll do what I can, but I can't make any promises. Like you said, she's stubborn."

That conversation had led into today's practice time. I had told her before we started that we were going to work on kido at some point. She had been less than thrilled, but hadn't told me no. Maybe there was some hope.

Ichika and I had been training together for three weeks now, and every day had gone like today had thus far. Without my shikai, I wasn't very attentive to other people's movements in close combat. While lacking the extra sight from Maebure no Shukufuku, it was like I couldn't see how people were going to move and I ended up being easily overwhelmed. The first few strikes were easy, but after that I just couldn't keep up. I had never been an expert at zanjutsu, but it was clear that I hadn't practiced very much since I could use my shikai. I didn't need to participate in close combat when I could put myself in a safe little box and fight with the world around me as my weapons.

"Where are we going?" Ichika asked me as she caught up to my side once we were outside.

"How long do you have until you are needed by your squad?"

"About two hours. I asked for the time off from Momo to practice," she said with a small shrug.

"Lieutenant Ogido," I said with a sigh. "You need to start using their rank and name."

"Why? Don't you call Captain Hitsugaya, Toshiro?"

"Just because someone else does it, doesn't mean that you can. You've been a full-blown Soul Reaper for several years now, and an apprentice for twice as long. You should know all this." I couldn't help but to scold her a bit. I had been raised differently than she had, but the same respect was due no matter what. And, I was a little irritated that she knew about Toshiro and I. We had tried to keep our relationship quiet, but with Rukia the 'Matchmaker' and Rangiku the 'Social Drinker', our quiet relationship was slowly becoming common knowledge.

"But you still do it. Besides, Momo and I are friends, so shouldn't I say her name?"

"Not to other people. When you talk to them it's okay, but when you refer to them you need to use the proper title." I shook my head and turned to start walking away. "I can't believe you get away with that when Captain Kuchiki is around."

"Uncle Byakuya?" She piped up.

The name made me smile despite my best efforts to hide it. "Does he really let you call him that?"

"Of course," she said, giving me a toothy grin.

"I cannot picture that," I said, a small laugh escaping me. I called Head Captain Kyoraku, Uncle Shunsui, but that was because he insisted. Captain Kuchiki didn't seem the type to encourage friendly names like Uncle. "Come on, let's go to my squad's training grounds. I'd rather you break things over there so I can fix them afterwards."

We took off, flash stepping across the rooftops of the Seireitei towards my Squad's grounds. Her normal paced flash step was faster than mine, so I had to push to keep up with her. She was strong for a Soul Reaper, and gifted in most techniques that could be learned at any age. It was one of the reasons she had been given an officer's position despite not having a connection with her zanpakuto. She was young, and forming a bond with your zanpakuto's spirit took years. It wasn't something she could practice and perfect, it was about growing as a person. She was only 26, so for her age she was extremely gifted. But with a Captain and a Lieutenant for parents, and another Captain as her uncle, it was no wonder.

When we arrived at the Squad 10 training area I did my best to not look winded. I was almost positive she had been speeding up the whole way, but I had kept up with her. She probably played tag with Captain Kuchiki if she was comfortable enough to call him uncle.

I walked through the passageway that lead into the stadium, but stopped mid step once the interior came into view. The place was completely destroyed, the aftermath of some fight having left the arena in crumbled pieces and the seating area in shambles. I let out a groan and hung my head. I had forgotten this place was on my list of things to fix.

"Woah," Ichika murmured as she stopped beside me. "Who did all this?"

"4th Seat Kyoruni and 5th Seat Ono during a sparring match. Give me a few minutes and I'll have it fixed," I said as I started to draw my zanpakuto.

"Oh cool! I've never seen your shikai before. Mom said it was like her bankai," she mused as she started walking over to a large chunk of concrete. She turned and sat on it so she could watch me.

"I've never seen Lady Rukia's bankai before, so what do you mean?"

"She pretty much turns into Sode no Shirayuki. It's really cool, and really scary at the same time."

"A captain's spiritual pressure is pretty overwhelming," I said in agreeance. I understood just how strong Rukia must have been. Toshiro's spiritual pressure had me shaking in fear the first time I felt him really raise it.

I finished drawing my zanpakuto and turned her blade so I could look at my reflection. Tankyu no Unmei looked back at me, her teal eyes surrounded by black feathers. I hadn't asked her for my name today, but judging by her mask, it was no longer She Who Heals. She had looked the same ever since I had woken up, and my name had been She Who Heals the entire time. She usually only had black masks when something violent was going to happen, but every time I tried to guess, I was wrong. Meh.

"Tankyu no Unmei, Maebure no Shukufuku."

As my shikai flared to life, I put extra effort into making a show of my armor forming around me. Pulling from the debris that covered the arena I turned it into all into pure, golden reishi that wafted towards me like petals floating on a gentle breeze. Normally they just looked like bits of fluid tin foil wafting through the air which was pretty on its own, but the extra effort to shape them made the light catch on their curves to reflect back in a delightful display. I reached out to the reishi as it came toward me, and spread my fingers so it could slide along my skin, forming my hand guard first before making the rest of my armor. I spun as it formed so Ichika could see everything as it took shape until the last bit of my breast plate was solid.

I turned to Ichika, intending to give her a broad smile but failed when I lacked the feeling to do it and simply gave her a steady stare. "I know I'm not as flashy as Lady Rukia, but what do you think?"

She blinked at me.

She blinked again.

And again.

Did I break her?

"That was so cool," she said slowly as her eyes lit up. "Can you do it again?"

"No," I replied flatly.

"Aw, come on. I want to see it again."

"The next time we practice then," I said as I turned my attention to the area around us. I submerged myself in my mind's eye and spread my senses throughout the arena. I pushed power into the concrete beneath my feet, turning everything I touched into pure reishi and sent it back to its original spot. Or, original as in the shape it was intended to be. I didn't try to put everything back where it belonged, instead reshaping what I had into what it was supposed to be. I could hear Ichika making sounds of wonder as I worked, but I paid her little mind. I had to keep my attention focused on what I was doing or I'd start dropping things.

"Hey Yamamoto," I heard Amagi call out. I ignored him in favor of my work, but gestured my sword in a wave that told him I had heard him.

"Oh, I'm sorry miss. I didn't see you there." He must have been talking Ichika.

"Shouldn't you be quiet while she's working or something?" her reply was clipped with annoyance, surprising me enough to make me to turn my mind's eye on them. She clearly hadn't seen Amagi, or she never would have been so rude. He was one of those people that was impossible to be mad at.

"She blocks out distractions when she's working," he replied with a smile in his voice.

"Really?" her word started out curious, but the lift in tone at the end had a mischievous tint to it.

"Yes," he replied smoothly as he made his way over to her and sat down. They were sitting on some of the debris from the stadium that I had left alone. I thought about turning it into reishi, but decided against it. I could take care of it last, or use it to teach Ichika a lesson if she decided to do what her voice had implied.

I left them to their conversation as I resumed what I had been doing. I quickly made the arena platform solid and creased the lines into the concrete to keep it from cracking. It wouldn't actually crack with the way I had made it, but I was trying to return it to its original shape and not to what it could be. Spreading my eye outwards I sought the stands, sliding across the seats to find the ones that had been damaged during the fight. I made short work on them, turning the smooshed stands back into usable seats and the steps back into stairs instead of a mashed ramp. Once the appearance of the arena was fixed, I turned to the remaining boulders that Ichika and Amagi were perched on, and melted them into the floor to their dismay. The amusement I should have felt at their startled cries slid over and off me as I turned my sight to the structure. I pushed the reishi from the boulders into the pillars under the stands, reinforcing the support to the arena. It took me a moment wrap the pillars in a decorate fashion, finding it difficult to be creative without my emotions to support my efforts.

When I finally finished repairing the arena I returned to my normal vision and looked around. In my mind's eye, everything had looked fine, but that didn't always translate to the naked eye. I was notorious for making things to unnatural looking because I always tried to make things perfect. The world wasn't perfect though, so I had to go back and add knots into wood, or 'character' into what was supposed to be an older building. Frankly, it was annoying, but I knew I would care once I dropped my shikai.

"You could have warned us about the boulders," Ichika snapped once my eyes passed over them.

"I thought my intent was clear," I replied flatly. "Debris doesn't belong in a fixed building."

She looked taken aback at my response, but I ignored it and looked to Amagi.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Even to me it sounded blunt and unfriendly. Oh well.

"I felt your spiritual pressure and wanted to apologize for making more work for you," he said kindly, smiling up at me.

"It's fine," I replied before turning my attention back to Ichika.

"Get up here," I ordered her before turning back to the arena. I sank back into my mind's eye and reached out to the area outside the arena for materials. Here in the Seireitei, there wasn't much to pull reishi from without weakening a building or wall, so I turned to the grass, pulling an inch from each blade throughout the squad's grounds. I kept note of my spiritual pressure and how loud I was as I reached further out, continuing until I felt like I had enough material. My head still hurt from my bond, but it was barely noticeable. More like an itch than a pain. My zanpakuto must have been close to done.

Coming back to the arena I pulled the reishi I had gathered back with me until I had enough to work with and started forming targets on the other side of the arena ring. I felt Ichika stop beside me, her gaze fixated on the three straw dummies I had created.

"What hado are you best with?" I asked.

"Sokatsui I suppose," she said slowly.

"How's your aim?"

"Bad?" she said hesitantly.

I shifted the dummies further apart to compensate.

"Lets see it," I said as I turned to her.

"O-okay," she said, stumbling over the word. She stepped forward, her movements jerky and uneasy. I frowned at her back, not understanding what was wrong with her.

"Yamamoto," I heard Amagi whisper from the stands. He knew my senses were stronger with my shikai, but how did he know I'd hear him from that distance?

I turned to him, setting my sightless gaze on him.

"Be gentle," he suggested. "She's not used to you being blunt. You are making her nervous."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I wasn't being blunt. I was instructing her on what I wanted her to do. How much less blunt could that get?

He let out a small laugh and moved down to the arena from the stands. He jumped up to where we were, avoiding the small set of stairs that were off to the side. I watched as he walked past me and up to Ichika, standing beside her like he was going to practice with her.

"Are you comfortable with Sokatsui, or are you still relatively new to kido?" He asked her gently.

"I can do it, but I blows up on me sometimes," she said quietly, probably intended for only him to hear.

"You mean it explodes before you can shoot it?" he clarified.

She nodded.

"Yamamoto, can you do something about that?" he asked, looking back at me.

"I cannot keep her kido from backfiring," I said like it was obvious.

"No, but can you give her some protection?"

Oh, that's what he was asking. I thought about it for a moment, pursing my lips as I pulled some reishi to me. I walked over to her, looking her up and down as I gathered the reishi in my palm. How to protect her while leaving her free to cast... I closed my hand, crumbling the reishi between my fingers as I forced it to change composition, becoming tiny sand sized bits of my armor.

"Cover your palms," I ordered her. She did as I told, pressing her hands into her top to hide her palms. I shook my head. That wouldn't work if she wanted to protect her body.

"Put your hands together. Make sure you palms are covered."

She did as I asked and I inspected her hands quickly to ensure they were covered. With my heightened sight, I knew she had done just fine.

I lifted my hand to my lips and opened my palm. Quickly I blew the powder I had made over her, coating her face and upper body in gold. I held my hand out and gathered more reishi in my palm, turning it into my armor and crushing it before shifting to coat her in more of the powder. I continued this process until she was covered head to toe in golden dust and looking like a statue.

"There," I said as I stepped back and patted my palm on my shihakusho to rid myself of the dust.

Ichika coughed, spurting golden powder from her lips as her eyes blinked open. "You could have warned me that you were going to do that!"

I shrugged, not caring about her fit as I took a few steps back and admired my handy work. She shook like a wet dog making the loose powder cloud off her in a mist of gold. She coughed again and stepped from the cloud, flapping her arms as it trailed off her like smoke.

"What the hell is this crap?" She asked, her voice sounding enraged.

"It's the same material as my armor. It should protect you from the heat of the Sokatsui, but it won't save you from the force of the blast."

She grumbled something as she looked at her palms. They were the only part of her not covered in gold. With her shaking, she had removed a lot of the powder allowing the colors of her uniform, hair and skin to bleed through the gold.

"I suppose that's kinda cool," she said as she turned her hands over and back a few times.

"Now, shoot," I said gesturing towards the dummies. Her eyes got wide at my words.

Amagi let out a quiet laugh and quickly said, "don't listen to her, I'll help coach you. You'll be fine."

I watched Amagi work with for the next hour, learning from him how to work with people. I stayed back from them, repairing the damage from her missed attacks and replacing the dummies as necessary. I never had to teach someone before, I had only ever been taught and I had never put any thought into how to train someone else. It was enlightening to see how he interacted with Ichika, and how her cheeks started to light up in a blush when he would correct how she held her hands. Amagi was attractive, but for me it was just his personality that I found soothing. With how young she was, and who her parents were, I doubted that she had ever even thought about romance. It made me want to laugh. She was a younger, less behaved and fiery version of myself.

So... not at all like me.

"Gosh, I'm exhausted," she said dramatically as she let her arms flop to her sides.

Amagi chuckled, saying "you did good. If you practice more, you'll figured it out soon enough."

"Thanks," she said as a blush tinted her cheeks.

"When is your next session?" He asked as he turned to me.

"In a few days," I replied automatically.

"I'd enjoy helping again, if you don't mind," he said, flashing me his kind smile.

"I'll put it on your calendar," I said with a nod.

"Can you get this stuff off me?" Ichika asked as she rubbed at her skin. The gold dust had mostly fulfilled its purpose and had protected her skin from the burns of her backlashed sokatsui, but it had only happened a few times. I would have to perfect that technique before our next training session so her skin wouldn't even turn pink from the heat. But, for a quick fix it had worked remarkably well.

I didn't acknowledge her request with a physical gesture, instead sinking into my mind's eye. I pulled the powder from her body, watching it in my head as it streamed off her skin, clothes and hair and moved towards me. I sent it up into the air once it reached me, and turned it into organic dust that wafted away on the wind.

"Ugh," Ichika said as she rubbed at her arms. "That just felt weird."

"At least you aren't hurt," Amagi said cheerfully as he clapped her on the back.

"Yeah, that is true." She nodded and turned to head towards the arena exit. "Thanks for the practice, I'll be getting back to my squad now."

Ichika vanished in a flash step before we could wish her well, leaving Amagi and I standing alone in the arena.

"You really do have no emotions when you use your shikai, don't you?" Amagi asked, not even waiting to make sure that Ichika was actually gone.

"No," I replied curtly.

"Why?" He asked as he turned to face me.

"If my emotions leak into my thoughts, I lose control. I set them aside automatically when my shikai activates. It's just how my full shikai works."

"That is fascinating," he said, his voice deepening in thought. "Can you bring your emotions out if you want?"

"If I felt something strongly before I activated my shikai, it bleeds through my ability to push it back," I answered with a shrug. I didn't mind telling Amagi things like this. Talking to him was so easy and helped me to think through challenging subjects. "I categorize things, or it becomes to much. Reishi, feelings, emotions, my senses, whatever I have to in order to think clearly."

"Once you've established your shikai, can you bring your emotions back out?" he asked.

"I've never tried." I started moving off towards the exit, turning my thoughts to the task that awaited me in Rangiku's office.

"Lets find out," Amagi said, the cadence of his voice changing ever so slight. I frowned at his words and paused. Find out what?

Pain shot through my back as I felt cold steel slice into me, digging deeper into my body with the force of his momentum. I lurched forward as the tip bit into my ribs before breaking through the bone to slide forward, the blade sheathing in my chest. I coughed as my breath came out in a whoosh, bringing blood with it that coated my tongue in the coppery liquid.

"I've been working on this one just for you, Miss Yamamoto," he murmured like it was the most delightful thing in the world. He turned his zanpakuto, tearing through my flesh before he shoved it deeper and it slid through the front of my rib cage to stick out from above my breast plate. I slowly looked down, hardly believing that I was seeing his zanpakuto protruding from the front of my body.

"Hanayume, Fervor."

Acid seemed to leak from his blade, burning my flesh as it soaked into my body. I could feel it being carried through me, trembling in my chest before burning it's way up my neck. I was frozen with shock, unable to move to force his zanpakuto from my body as I felt my mind grow hazy with the burn. Fervor… Fervor… what did that word mean again?

"Rage."

Anger swelled in my chest, like a fire had been lit in my heart and left to smolder. What the fuck was Amagi doing? I would kill him for this. I would punish him for stabbing his friend in the back.

I leaned forward, letting my body weight give me momentum so I could lunge forward and slip off his zanpakuto. I flash stepped a few feet away, unable to do more as I found breathing difficult. I sank into my mind's eye and pulled reishi from the arena. I gathered it to me and shaped it into spears made of my armor. I turned them so the blades were facing him and aimed with my mind's eye. I would kill him, then erase his very exsistance.

"Guilt," he said so softly I almost didn't hear him.

My chest tightened as a sob tried to come up, turning into a blood choked gurgle. I ended up doubled over, falling to my knees and coughing up blood as tears leaked from my eyes. I dropped the spears from where I had held them in the air, letting them fall to the arena floor to clatter noisily against the concrete ground.

Oh god, what had I been about to do to him? He may have hurt me, but that didn't mean he needed to die. What was wrong with me? Why had I been about to attack him? It was like my thoughts weren't my own. I wasn't angry at him, I was confused. There was no reason for me to lash out. Oh god, I was a horrible person!

"I'm sorry Amagi, I don't know what got into me," I quickly said. I looked up to him and found myself at a loss for words. Grey eyes looked back at me, looking out of place on Amagi's face. Hideo Mitsuji... but how?

"It pleases me to see you this way," Amagi's voice said, but the words didn't belong to him.

"What did you do to me?" I asked through the shallow breathes I had to make in order to breathe. I dropped my head as I felt blood trying to gurgle up from my lungs and dropped my head as a long cough turned into a heave as blood came up to expel from my mouth.

"I am so glad you asked," he mused as he took a few steps towards me. "As you already know, my shikai makes pollens, poisons, and other plant based drugs. I can affect your mind if I can get enough into your system, like when I first took over this body."

"This one's resistance to my pull was so weak that I easily took him over and was able to disguise my presence in the light of his reiatsu. Ever since we were released from the stifling prison you Soul Reapers call a research facility, I have been working on a way to incapacitate you. Luckily, you are very susceptible to his shikai." He continued moving towards me until he was close enough to step on the blade of my zanpakuto. He put his weight into the blade, stopping me from moving it before he knelt. His hand found my hair and he forced my head up so he could see my face.

"Lucky me, you've never built up a resistance to his shikai. It doesn't work so well on this body, but yours," he said as he ran the point of his zanpakuto up my cheek and towards my eye, cutting into my skin. "Yours is perfect for this."

I forced my left arm to move despite my chest's protest. I caught his blade just as it approached my eye, forcing it to stop before it could cut any further. He smiled like he was pleased with me and roughly yanked his zanpakuto back, slicing through the skin of my palm. I watched him as he moved to stab forward. I may have been injured and physically weak, but I wasn't stupid. I pulled the floor up between us, forcing it to shift into the clear substance of my armor as I formed a wall between us. His arm that held my hair was stuck in the wall, but instead of trying to withdraw his grip tightened, holding me where I was. I sank my zanpakuto into the ground, freeing it from the weight of his body before I raised it on my side. I didn't want to hurt Amagi, but I wouldn't let myself be Mitsuji's victim. I thrust blindly at him, the tip of my zanpkuto sliding effortlessly through the wall.

"Forget," I heard him shout. I froze with the word, blinking at the floor that I was still being forced to look at by his grip. My shihakusho was covered in my own blood, the rivulets of it sliding down my skin under my armor. As I took in a breath, my chest cried, no, screamed in agony and the urge to cough overwhelmed me. The grip on my hair released me as I started convulsing, expelling the blood that had filled my lung. I stared in horror at the pool of red that had formed under me. When had all of this blood gotten here? Why was I kneeling in it? What the hell was going on?

"Yamamoto, are you okay?" I recognized Amagi's voice and looked up, seeing him on the other side of a reishi wall I must have made.

"Amagi?" I asked, clearly confused. His arm was stuck in my wall for some reason, like he had been reaching out to me. His yellow eyes were full of concern as he watched me. I quickly dropped my wall, melting it into the arena floor and releasing him.

"What's going on?" I wheezed out.

"You were freaking out, like you'd lost control of your shikai. I tried to help you, but you formed that wall," he explained as he moved towards me, his eyes all for the injury I was sporting as he repeated, "Are you okay?"

"I-I don't know," I answered I started to move to drop my zanpakuto, but something seemed wrong with the action. Why didn't I want to let my shikai drop?

"I am just surprised by the effectiveness of this shikai. It works better than I could have imagine," Amagi commented as he looked down to his zanpakuto.

I didn't understand what he was saying, so I ignored him as I looked down to my left hand, staring at the angry wound across my palm. The edges were tinted black, not so much like a burn as something had stained my skin. Something else had stained my skin like this before, but I couldn't seem to remember what. I would have assumed that I had cut myself if the wound had been normal, but clearly that wasn't the case. My zanpakuto wouldn't do this to me.

'Tankyu no Unmei,' I called out in my mind.

'Herald,' she responded automatically.

'What's happening? Why can't I remember what's going on?'

'Look again at the world around you. What doesn't belong?' She subtly suggested.

I lifted my head and let my eyes sweep the area. Spears made of metal were scattered across the arena floor, reishi was wafting off every surface as my spiritual pressure pulled at the structures, gathering reishi on its own in the sky above. Amagi's zanpakuto was drawn which wasn't a surprise, but blackened blood coated the metal like it had inflicted the wound on my hand.

"Mitsuji," I whispered without knowing who the name belonged to.

Amagi let out a sigh as he said, "I guess it didn't work as well as I thought."

His zanpakuto's blade lashed out to me, but my body expected it when my mind did not and I parried his thrust, sending his slash to the side so he only clipped my arm instead of impaling me. My mind's eye lashed out without my influence and a spike shot out of the concrete, piercing his thigh. He yowled in pain and surprise before he slashed at the concrete, breaking it so he could move away from me.

"You bitch," he cursed at me as he pulled the spike from his leg. It was the same thickness as my wrist and pointed like an icicle, making it easy for him to remove, but leaving a gaping hole in his flesh. His enraged grey eyes focused on me, making me gasp as I recognized who was looking at me.

"Fear," he shouted at me.

Panic welled inside me at his word. Oh god, he was still inside Amagi! I felt my heart jump into a sprint and my head grow hazy with the surge of adrenaline. My mind's eye pulsed on its own and I felt it reach out to the world around me. I had to protect myself. I was already so wounded that I couldn't physically defend myself. I had to make myself safe. I had to hide.

Mist descended around me, the fog showing in my mind's eye like the powder I had dusted Ichika with as it clouded around me. It began to swirl slowly around me, shimmering in the sunlight like a liquid storm of molten clouds.

Amagi moved towards me, limping with his injured leg. "When I kill you, I will revel in your bloody corpse."

He continued speaking, but I became lost as my mind's eye tore away from my control and focused on him. He was too close. I couldn't move away, so he had to.

The cloud of reishi that had gathered around me condensed and shot toward him. I felt the material connect with an unsuspecting Amagi and shoot him clear across the arena before returning to ghost around me. He screamed in rage as he flew through the air, but he caught himself and landed awkwardly in the stands on the other side. He started to shout more words at me, but stopped himself and turned his gaze to something in the distance. After a second, his attention returned to me.

"Next time, Miss Yamamoto," he said in a menacing tone. He pointed his zanpakuto in my direction and said, "Forget."

I blinked slowly as some thought slipped away from me. Amagi was in the stands across from me, looking like he had been injured. I blinked again, but he was gone. Had I been imagining things? I must have been. Why did I hurt?

My body slumped forward as I began to realize how injured I was. What had happened? I couldn't remember why I was so injured, or why my shikai was running rampant and slowly eating away at the world around me. How had I gotten this way?

I tried to think through my predicament, but the more I tried to think, the more my thoughts were consumed by the information my shikai was feeding me. I knew I should have dropped my zanpakuto, but for some reason, I didn't feel safe enough to do that. I had to hold onto her, I needed the power and the protection.

"Ria," I heard someone call out.

For a moment, I thought I was imagining Toshiro's voice. I was so lost in the information running through my head that there was no way I could have heard him. I knew that I had fallen to my knees and was learning forward, my elbow resting on the ground beside my knee while my sword hand was clinging to the hilt of my zanpakuto, the hand guard resting on the ground in place of my knuckles. Outside of my body, I couldn't focus on anything, but even with my mind overwhelmed, my body recognized his spiritual pressure. The influence he had on me made my mind's eye relax and I felt the mist around me drop to melt into the ground.

"Ria," he said my name in a demanding tone. I cringed at the sound, but it just made me start coughing again. His hand rested on my unarmored shoulder, pressing into the wound and making red hot pain shoot through my chest. I cried out, my voice rough from coughing, and curled down tighter on myself.

"What happened?" He asked as his hand followed me down and continued to put pressure on my wound.

"Don't know," I wheezed out.

"How do you not know?" He asked as I felt his hand slide across my obi, trying to coax me to sit up.

I couldn't seem to think in full sentences, so I said the only thing that I could come up with, "Forgot."

"You aren't making any sense," he said like he was ignoring my words. "Drop your shikai."

My grip on her hilt tightened and I pulled her closer to my body. I didn't know why, but the thought of dropping my shikai sent a thrill of terror all the way down to my toes. I couldn't let her go. I needed her. She was my only protection from – from something. Why couldn't I remember?

Toshiro's hand forcefully slid between my obi and my legs, forcing me to lift up and my head to spin as I hit vertical. His hand wrapped around mine under my hand guard and he pulled at my fingers, loosening my grip on my zanpakuto's hilt. I struggled against him, refusing to let her go. I heard him urge me again to drop her, but his words only served to make me try harder. He let out a frustrated sigh and shifted his grip down from my fingers to grasp my palm. His thumb dug into my hand and lightning shot through my arm. I reacted, involuntarily releasing my zanpakuto as my hand convulsed with the pain.

My shikai dropped as soon as my skin parted with the metal and like being disconnected from a phone call, my mind's eye was gone and I was slapped back into my body, unable to sort my thoughts. I was light headed and dizzy, and I couldn't seem to figure out which way was up or down. I slumped to the side, leaving Toshiro's arm around my waist to support my weight. He reeled me into him, settling my shoulder against his body to keep me upright as he leaned over me.

My body jerked as he tore at my shihakusho, exposing the wound on my chest and drawing a hiss of pain from my mouth. He swore under his breath at whatever he saw before he shifted me so he could do the same to my back. I tried to form words, to tell him to stop because it hurt, but it just came out in a pathetic sounding groan. All I knew was it hurt, and I couldn't remember why.

His hand caught my left wrist, lifting it to bare my palm to his gaze. He made a deep, rumbling sound as he turned my hand to better catch the light, drawing my own gaze down to my skin. With the pain of my shoulder I hadn't noticed the deep slice across my palm. My hand was covered in my own blood, but through the crimson I could see the edges of the wound had turned black. I startled and tried to pull my hand back, but Toshiro's grip was stronger than my efforts and he held me still.

"It's alright," he murmured. "Calm down. I'm here."

He continued saying small words that were meant to soothe me as I felt myself beginning to panic. He moved slowly, placing my hand in my lap before he moved to take my other. I tried to pull away, my eyes going to my zanpakuto where she rested on the ground.

"I won't leave her," he said, following my frantic eyes to where she lay. "Trust me, Ria. It's going to be okay, but I need you to relax."

"I can't," I said hoarsely. "H-He, he, he—" tears filled my eyes when my words slipped away. Why couldn't I remember?

Toshiro shushed me as his hand left mine and he used it to cup my cheek, lifting my face so he could meet my eyes. "You are safe. Have I ever let you be harmed in my presence?"

"No," I whispered. I hadn't realized that I was shaking until he had forced me to focus on him.

"Have you ever doubted that I would protect you?"

"No."

"Then trust me and relax. I need to seal your wounds before I take you to Squad 4. It will hurt, but I have to do this."

"I'm scared," I admitted.

"It's okay. You're going to be fine, just trust me."

I nodded hesitantly. He kissed my forehead, murmuring more calming words before he turned his attention further down my body. I closed my eyes and turned my face into his shihakusho. The action made my cheek burn, but it was a barely noticed pain as my chest wound was abruptly turned to ice. I tried to be quiet and to bare the pain in silence, but a muffled cry still came out. I tried to ignore it, to pretend that it wasn't there, but when he did the same thing to my back, I lost it and my world went black.

* * *

"I can only give you a few minutes with her, Captain."

"I understand."

Why were people talking? People shouldn't talk when someone is trying to sleep...

"Ria," a soft, familiar voice cooed. "Wake up, Ria."

My eyes snapped open as adrenaline shot through me, making my entire body tense. Toshiro's concerned aquamarine eyes met mine, and for a moment, I didn't know what to do. His thumb gently drew over my brow, caressing gently in a way that had my body slowly relaxing. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes, composing myself before I tried to talk. Had that pain all been a dream? It had felt so real, but like a dream I had been so pieced together that I couldn't tell.

"Its okay Ria," he said slowly, "you can go back to sleep in a minute, but I need to talk to you first."

Talking was difficult, and my first attempt ended before the first word as I started coughing. I turned my head so I could cough into the pillow, but stopped when I saw the room I was in.

"Squad 4?" I croaked out. My vision was blurry, but I could still make out the white walls and hear the beeping of monitors.

"Ria, focus on me," Toshiro gently ordered as his hand turned my head back so all I could see was him.

"Was it real?" I asked him as I reached up to grasp the sleeve of his shihakusho. I couldn't seem to feel anything like I was numb, but when I saw the bandages around my hand I knew that it hadn't been a dream. He didn't need to answer me. I knew it had been real. Fear gripped me so suddenly that my breath caught in my throat. I fought against the paralyzing tightness in my chest, forcing myself to take shallow breaths and my eyes to move away from my hand. Why was I so scared? It made no sense.

"Look at me," Toshiro murmured as he slipped his hand under my chin and lifted, turning my head up far enough that I wouldn't see anything but him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning over me and looming so close that he took up all of my vision.

"Focus Ria, I need to know what happened," he said slowly, ensuring that I would understand.

"I can't remember," I said in a hushed tone.

"What can't you remember?"

"Everything," I replied automatically.

"You were in the training arena. Who was there with you?"

"You were," I said.

"Before I arrived," he gently urged.

"Amagi, ah- Ono, their squads," I said slowly, my mind trailing further back as I tried to think.

"After you fixed the arena."

"It's on my list, I haven't done it yet," I said, shaking my head lightly.

"Yes you have, you were practicing with Ichika and you fixed the arena. What happened after she left?" he tried to prompt me.

"I don't know," I said hesitantly. I started to look to the side as I tried to think, but his hand held my head still.

"I need you to try and remember, Ria. I need to know who did this to you."

He sounded so convincing. I tried my best to think through it, but my head only came up with what I assumed he didn't want to know. "I-I remember this morning, waking up with you. And I remember talking to my zanpakuto. And maybe Ichika? I don't know. Why can't I remember?"

His eyes lit up like I had said something important. He shifted closer to me on the bed and kissed my forehead. I didn't know what I had said to earn it, but I closed my eyes and relaxed at his familiar touch.

"Go to back to sleep, Ria. You're safe here."

"Don't go," I whispered.

"I'll be right here," he said as he smoothed my hair back. I heard a click and felt cold stream up the inside of my arm. I had only a moment to shiver at the odd sensation before my eyes quit listening to me and my world went dark.


	4. She Who Awakens

Delicate fingers trailed down my cheek, stroking across my skin so lightly that it almost tickled. I drew in a deep breath and started to stretch, but an unfamiliar weight kept me from pulling my arms free from the sheets. I struggled to open my eyes, but it was like the sand man had attacked me because they refused to budge. A very feminine laugh danced on the air and I instantly recognized my zanpakuto's voice.

"You're finally awake," she teased as her finger trailed down my forehead to the tip of my nose.

"Why are you laying on me?" I grumbled roughly.

"That's no way for my Herald to speak me," she said, her pout leaking into her tone. "I've been waiting for hours."

"You are so weird," I groaned as I turned my head and started rolling over. She let out a huff, but her weight kept me on my back.

"And you are finally yourself again," she said as her finger bopped my chin. I mockingly bared my teeth at her and strained to free my hand from under her weight. She shifted, allowing me to move and I brought my hand to my face to rub my eyes. I was awake, but it felt like the sleep monster was trying to drag me back down. I waited for the phosphines cleared from vision before I cracked my eyes open and met my zanpakuto's teal gaze. There was a light in the corner of the room, but it was dim enough that it left my zanpakuto covered in darkness. Her eyes glowed with an inner light while the rest of her form was all smooth curves, accentuated by the silk kimono she always wore.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Your body has finally processed the substance that was controlling you," she said as her fingers trailed through my hair. "Some of the effects are lingering, but you should be able to work through them."

"What are you talking about?" I grumbled as I blinked to try and clear my vision. I must have been sleeping for a while because it was like looking through fogged glass.

"Oh nothing," she mused as she twirled a strand of my hair around her finger.

"You are so weird," I murmured as I used my free arm to leverage myself into rolling over despite her weight. My entire back cracked with the movement, making me let out a pleased sigh. That felt way too good for having been lying here for only a short time.

My zanpakuto shifted, resting her weight on my hips as I settled back into the futon, curling my legs up and sliding my hand under the pillow until I was comfortable. My zanpakuto traced patterns on the sheets that covered me idly, like she was waiting for something. I ignored her, perfectly content to go back to sleep. That was when I noticed the lack of familiarity to the pillow. It didn't smell like Toshiro's, and mine wasn't this plush...

"Where are we?" I asked her after a long moment.

"It's about time you noticed," she commented like she was disappointed with my deductive skills.

"Would you just answer me?" I snapped at her, irritated with her unhelpful comment.

"And if I don't want to?" She asked. She must have been trying to make me mad.

"Then tell me why you're laying on me," I said flatly.

"Our bond is repaired," she said, her voice losing its playfulness. "You'll find some differences in our power when next you use our shikai."

I perked up at her words, shifting to put my weight on my right elbow so I could look at her without completely changing positions. "What sort of differences?"

"You do not remember, but you were stripped of your control during your last conflict. In the moments before I finished our bond, I gave you a little more of myself so that control is no longer always needed."

"Conflict?" I heard everything that she had said, but I found myself hung up on that word. "What are you talking about?"

She reached out and took my left hand in hers, lifting it from the bed. Her skin was soft as she ran the pad of her thumb down the center of my hand. "Why do you think you're lying in a strange bed right now?"

I closed my hand around her thumb, marveling in how soft her skin was. My hands were calloused from wielding her, but her skin felt as soft as a young child's. My hands had once been this delicate, but it had been years since then. "I don't know. That's why I asked you."

Her head tilted to the side and her eyes half closed. "You are so slow sometimes. I know you remember, so quit stopping yourself."

"What are you talking about?" I groaned, preparing myself for her frustratingly vague replies.

"Remember the fighting?" She asked as she drew her finger down the center of my palm, tracing over super sensitive skin. "Remember the pain, the blood, the fear?"

I was taken aback by her words. I… I did remember. Parts of it anyway. The sense memories had come back, my body's movements fresh in my mind as I recalled the motions I had made, the pain from the blade I had grasped as it pulled away, or even stronger the pain from my rib breaking as the sword sank into my body. My memory of my vision was gone, even what I had seen through my mind's eye was distorted and limited to what I had directly around my body. Everything about who had attacked me was gone, like something had eaten away at my memories just enough to make it so their presence was lost. Why hadn't I remembered until she had said something? Was I missing more?

I swallowed back the lump that suddenly formed in my throat and nodded. I remembered the fear, the feeling of my mind's eye ripping away from my control as the cutting fear that ran away with my power. Why had I been so scared? Fear was something I had dealt with when I had been in Mitsuji's presence, but it had never caused me to lose control. Had I been so injured that I couldn't force my emotions back? That was the only explanation that I could come up with, but it didn't make sense.

It wasn't really like I had lost control though. I hadn't had any restraint, but my mind's eye had still done what I had been thinking. I needed to protect myself, create a place of safety that I couldn't be hurt in. It had done just that, but it hadn't been intentional...

I drew my hand out of hers and pulled back the collar of my yukata so I could run my fingers over where I had been injured. Bandages were wrapped around my shoulder, bound so tightly that I was surprised I hadn't noticed them sooner. I pressed my fingers over where I knew the wound was only to be pleasantly surprised when I barely felt anything. Either I had been out for days, or someone had spent a lot of time and energy using kaido on me.

"You remember everything, don't you?" I asked, meeting her eyes.

"I do," she said, nodding.

"But you won't tell me what I've forgotten, will you?"

"No," she replied. "Doing so will change your fate."

"I never did understand how you interacting with me would change my fate," I more grumbled to myself than to her. She didn't reply like I expected, so I asked, "did you tell Toshiro?"

"No," she responded and I felt her shake her head. "To forewarn you, he is very displeased with me."

"He is aware of your rules," I disagreed.

"And he would have me break them for you." She sounded exasperated as she rolled forward to drape herself across me.

I couldn't keep the smile that her words brought from turning the corner of my mouth. "I know."

"He wants to protect you from your own fate."

"I'd let him if I could," I said more to myself than her.

"You cannot run from your own f-"

"I know," I said, interrupting her. "You taught me that the hard way by giving me all those silly names before you became serious. She Who Falls, She Who Hungers, She Who Waits. Whatever you say happens in some way."

"They were given in all seriousness," she said as she drew her weight off of me to sit up straight. She curled her legs tighter to her side and shifted her kimono to lay flat over her legs. "When I gave you your first turning point, you would have never believed me if I had not been testing you."

Her reply made me want to laugh, but instead I shook my head. "What is my name today?"

"She who awakens," she sighed as she raised a hand to adjust her mask.

"That's kind of dull, isn't it?" I asked as I pulled myself up to sit as well.

"Would She Who Recovers be a better name? Or perhaps She Who Sleeps All Day?"

"You aren't making it sound any better."

"Sometimes you lead a very boring life, Herald."

A knock sounded on the door to the room, distracting me from my retort to my zanpakuto.

"Ria, can I come in?" Rangiku's hushed voice asked. I sent my zanpakuto a questioning gaze as she busied herself with sitting perfectly straight.

'You knew she was coming, didn't you?' I asked her in my head.

'Of course,' she replied with a sigh.

"Please," I replied as I pulled the collar of my yukata closed. The shoji door slid open to cast light across the room and Rangiku stepped inside, bringing with her a tray filled with bandages and some other items that I couldn't quite see. She didn't close the door behind her, instead leaving it open as she walked around to the opposite side of the futon from the door and too my left.

"How are you feeling?" She asked as she placed the tray down before turning to flick on another light. I cringed and squinted as my eyes strained to adjust. She seemed unaffected and turned back to me only to pause as her eyes drew across my zanpakuto. With the light suddenly being enough to see, I could tell why my zanpakuto had been primping herself before Rangiku had entered. Her mask was made of gold strands that were as thick as thread and looked like they had been imbedded in her skin, leaving a textured surface that refracted the light. The golden strands wove in patterns across her cheeks and temples until they braided through her hair. Unlike most days, her hair was down, the long black strands falling perfectly straight over her shoulder and down to her waist. Rangiku quickly shook off her surprise and moved to kneel at the side of the bed.

"As well as I can be, I suppose," I replied as I met her concerned blue eyes. "How long was I out?"

"Just a few hours," she replied as she settled and drew her hair over one shoulder in an idle gesture. "It's just after midnight."

I made a sound of surprise and looked to my zanpakuto. Her teal eyes weren't looking at me or Rangiku, but instead at the wall. Her attention seemed to be elsewhere with her expression blank and unfocused. I disregarded her and turned back to Rangiku as I asked, "Where are we?"

"The Kuchiki Manor," she replied before explaining, "Nanao wanted you somewhere that was better guarded than Squad 4 is capable of doing quietly. The Head Captain had offered, but it was too out of the norm for you to do if you were of sound mind."

"The squad doesn't know how injured I was?" I guessed.

"No, but they know you lost control," she said with a shake of her head. "You pretty much destroyed the training arena's platform. The area is still saturated with your residual spirit pressure."

"Sorry," I mumbled as I looked down to my hands. I startled as I saw my palm and the red scar that was marring it. For a moment, the black stain I had seen yesterday was there, tainting my skin like it had the day before. I blinked and ran my thumb over my palm. It wasn't there. I was just psyching myself out, seeing what I had expected instead of what was actually there.

"Was this Lady Rukia's idea?" I asked as I pushed the thought back, filing it for later. I had always gotten caught up on my memories, but this seemed so much worse than before.

"Ichika's actually, but Rukia agreed," she said slowly, drawing my attention away from my hand and back to see her watching my hand like I had been.

"Ichika?" I asked, remembering that I had intended to practice with her yesterday.

Rangiku's blue eyes lifted and she met mine. Her expression softened like she understood what I had just been thinking and turned to look back at the door way. "She's been waiting to talk to you."

"Who?" I asked, still lost in our conversation.

"Come in Ichika," she said, calling out to the still open door.

A small hand gripped the door frame before Ichika inched into the door frame. Her violet eyes met mine and her expression dropped as she quickly averted her gaze. Her red hair was pulled back in a bun like she normally did for our practice, but she was dressed in a simple purple yukata. Hesitantly she stepped into the room, sliding the door closed behind her. She started moving towards me, but stopped when her gaze lifted and she found my zanpakuto. Tankyu no Unmei reacted like she had seen the young Soul Reaper despite having her back to her. She turned slowly, her eyes meeting mine for a brief moment before sliding away to meet Ichika's.

Ichika quickly recovered from the expression of shock that had crossed her face and instantly slid back into the cocky and confident young girl that she normally was. Her shoulders dropped from their once stiff position and her eyes narrowed as she said, "my Mom was so wrong when she said your shikai made you look like your zanpakuto."

I smiled, recognizing her defensive words and replied, "she isn't wearing her armor right now."

"She wears armor?" She asked as she looked at my zanpakuto in a new light.

"Every day," my zanpakuto replied for me, making Ichika jump. I could hear her laughter in my head as she vanished, only to appear just as abruptly standing beside the young redhead. Ichika startled but froze when her eyes found my zanpakuto standing so close to her that she could have easily bumped into her. My zanpakuto smiled just before she vanished once more.

"What the hell?" Ichika exclaimed, stepping back from the futon. I knew my zanpakuto wasnt going to appear again, but Ichika didn't.

"She does that," I said with a one shouldered shrug.

Ichika looked like she wanted to bolt with my zanpakuto's antics, so I stayed still and waited for her to decide what she was going to do. It took a long moment, but she seemed to gather her resolve and moved towards the futon, sitting on my right. She took in a long, dragging breath before she blurted out, "I'm sorry."

I blinked at her before I asked, "for what?"

"I felt your fight start, I wasn't far away, but I couldn't bring myself to go back," she said quickly. Her lip quivered as she hesitated, but she pushed through it and words started to fall from her mouth. "I felt their spiritual pressure and I was frozen in place. It was so dark that I couldn't even move or think. I didn't think you were alone since I left you with Amagi, but all I could feel was your reiatsu and whoever's that was. I should have gone back, but I couldn't. I just stood there, and I'm sorry. You might not have gotten hurt if I had come to help."

I did my best to not act surprised with her words. I didn't remember anything about Ichika being there, let alone Amagi. Instead of asking questions that I knew I could get answered by someone else, I reached out to her and placed my hand over hers.

"It was fine, Ichika. You are strong, but for me to have been hurt like this with my shikai running took someone with far more power than you are ready for," I said as I gave her a reassuring smile. "I may suck at zanjutsu, but you've seen my Maubure no Shukufuku at work. It was my own fault for not seeing whoever it was."

She pursed her lips together before she started to argue back with, "but, I should have come back. Or, I shouldn't have left as quickly as I did. I'm sorry."

"I'm fine, so there's nothing to apologize for," I said as I squeezed her hand. "Besides, if you worry about things like that you're going to start getting grey hairs soon."

She smiled, but didn't react like I thought she would. Normally a comment like that would get an explosive reaction from her, but she just shook her head and looked to Rangiku. "I still feel like I have something to make up for. Do you mind if I help Rangiku change your bandages?"

Ah, that explained why Rangiku was here. I shook my head and withdrew my hand as I turned to Rangiku. "I've only been out for a few hours and I need to change my bandages?"

"Captain Kotetsu was here up until an hour ago. It was the deal she made with Captain Hitsugaya for taking you out of Squad 4's barracks before you were ready to be moved," she explained as she reached for a glass of water that had been on the tray and a pair of rather ominous looking white pills. I eyed them suspiciously, but made no motion to take them.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Pain killers," she said flatly as she held them out to me. "Trust me, you're going to wish you had them in about an hour."

"I was fine the last time-"

"You have six broken ribs and over a hundred stitches that aren't even on the surface of your skin," she said flatly, clearly prepared for my rejection. "You're so doped up on Captain Kotetsu's reiatsu that I'll bet you can't feel anything, can you?"

I blinked at her as my mind drew a blank.

"You don't feel the pain, do you?"

I shook my head and slowly reached out to took the pills and water from her. Wordlessly downing the white capsules and chasing them with the water, I handed the glass back and asked, "six ribs, really?"

"It was only two," she said as she put the glass on the tray and moved to grab a pair of scissors that were lying beside it. "But they had to break a few more to stop your internal bleeding."

My stomach dropped with her words. I hadn't felt that injured at the time... I opened my palm and stared down at the scar as I tried to remember my injuries. It was just my hand and my shoulder... I sucked in a breath as looked to Rangiku with wide eyes.

"Is it bad?" I asked as I pointed at my cheek.

The corner of Rangiku's mouth quirked up in a grin and she shook her head. "It's the other cheek, but no. It'll be gone in a few days."

I let out a relieved sigh and moved to run my hand down the correct cheek. The raised line of scar tissue was there, but I could barely feel it. Just like the scar on my hand, it would go away with time.

"Come on," Rangiku urged as she shifted forward onto the futon. "Let's get these bandages off."

"I can do it myself," I said, waving her off. She didn't listen to me though, instead moving closer until she was kneeling at my left.

"Lift your arm and tell me if you can really do it yourself," she said with a huff.

I did as she asked, lifting my arm out to the side and up. A twinge of pain made my arm twitch as I started to raise it above my shoulder and I stopped. That was the first hint of actual pain I had felt since I had woken up. Carefully, I dropped my arm back to my side and let out a defeated sigh.

"I could just use my zanpakuto to redo my bandages," I grumbled.

"Good thing she's not here then," Rangiku mused as she took hold of the collar of my yukata and pulled it open. My face lit up in a deep blush as I forced myself to not resist her motions to disrobe me. It wasn't like I was embarrassed to be naked in front of other women, we did it all the time in the public bath houses, but to have Rangiku expose me like that was awkward. She must have been impatient for some reason.

I sat quietly as she cut away at the bandages and Ichika moved around to Rangiku's side to take what she removed. I hadn't ever had Rangiku help me like this, so I did my best to ignore her and stare at the wall as she worked. It was an awkward position for me to be in, but she seemed focused on what she was doing instead of anything else and it made me feel better. She must have done this before for someone, because she was gentle while still using enough force to slide the blade of the scissors underneath the bandages. When the strips of fabric were gone, leaving only the pads of gauze to cover my wound, she sat back and slowly peeled the cloth away. I didn't feel any pain, but she was treating me like it should have hurt.

I looked down as she exposed the wound on my chest and was pleasantly surprised to find it not as bad as Rangiku had made me think it was. Dried blood stuck to my skin from where it had soaked into the bandage, but the wound was only three or four inches long and held delicately together with several small stitches. The wound almost paralleled the one that the hollow had made during my first turning point, maring my skin only two inches further to the right and a bit further down. It was no wonder that I had been choking on my own blood. I had gotten away with minimal internal damage when the hollow had skewered me, but just a few inches over was my lung, and a little further yet, my heart.

"It looks better than I would have thought after such a short time," Rangiku murmured to herself as she took a ball of soaked gauze and ran it around the wound, clearing away the dried blood. "It almost looks days old instead of hours."

"That's a good thing, right?" I asked.

"Yes," she said thoughtfully. "Captain Kotetsu must have spent a great deal of energy on you."

"I'll have to stop by and give her my thanks," I said softly. "This is the second time that she has treated me."

"She's not big on the whole gratitude thing," Rangiku replied as she shifted around me and peeled the bandage from my back. I stopped trying to talk then and let her work, cleaning the wounds and applying whatever funny smelling stuff she had brought with her. She reapplied the bandages, putting them on thinner than they had been. She enlisted Ichika to help her wrap the bandages around my body, slapping my hands away when I tried to help. Because of the location of the wound on my back they had to wrap my entire chest to keep everything in place, which had been incredibly embarrassing for me.

Finally, they finished and allowed me to slip back into the yukata. I hadn't noticed it before, but the yukata was a deep red, almost burgundy that would have hidden any blood stains perfectly. Whoever had dressed me, had planned on my bleeding on it. It made me feel bad, but I didn't comment on it. I didn't like people having to take care of me like this. It just didn't feel right.

"Thank you," I said as I secured the sash around my waist.

"Are you up for a walk?" Rangiku asked as she handed the tray to Ichika who had already stood. Ichika strode across the room and slipped out the door, leaving Rangiku and I alone in the room.

"I feel fine at the moment," I said as I watched the door for a moment. "But I do have a question, if you don't mind."

"Of course."

"Did it feel like I lost control to you?"

"Yes and no," she replied. "I would have expected your spiritual pressure to be unbearable to the squad if you lost control. This felt weaker than I believe you are capable of."

"How did it feel like I had actually lost control?" I asked as I moved to shuffle out of the futon. It took a little more work that I would have thought, but Rangiku was there to offer me a hand when I lost my balance. I quietly thanked her as I straightened my yukata and followed her path to the door.

"It didn't at the time, but you should see how you left the arena," she said as she pulled the door open and stepped into the hallway. "I've never seen you do something like that before."

I didn't reply to her words. I couldn't remember what the arena had looked like. I remembered Toshiro finding me there, but once he disarmed me my memories turned to mush. Knowing that I was missing time made me nervous and uneasy. My attacker could have been anyone. The only people that I knew were safe were people who were far stronger than me. There were only so many people who were on that list, and knowing that made my world feel so small.

With Amagi having been taken by Mitsuji's Soul Candy, that left only Rangiku and Toshiro that I could relax around. Anyone else in my squad could have fallen victim. Hell, anyone else under the rank of Lieutenant could have fallen to Mitsuji's control. Even I had been a victim to his soul candy. Was I still possessed and didn't know it? Was Amagi? Or maybe it had been Ichik-

"Ria," Rangiku said, pulling me out of my thoughts. She stepped to the side and caught my right arm in hers before she kept walking. "You're gonna get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that."

"I wasn't frowning," I defended. "I was just trying to remember."

"Give it some time. If you try to push it, you're just going to give yourself some of your famous nightmares."

"What?" I asked, surprised at her words.

"It's not a secret that you have nightmares when you talk in your sleep," she said lightly as she squeezed my arm.

"Oh," I mumbled. "I forgot about that."

"And now you remember! You didn't even have to try," she cheered. "Maybe we need to get you drunk. Really, really drunk. You like to talk when you're drunk and that takes like, no effort."

I laughed, the sound somehow easily bubbling out of me. I bent my arm and leaned into Rangiku, letting her take a little bit of my weight as I bumped shoulders with her. "The last time we got that drunk we barely made it back to the Seireitei and I woke up in the vacant barracks room next door."

"Hey, I woke up outside, so at least you made it indoors," she countered. We laughed together and I felt my chest ease with the releasing sound.

"Thank you, Rangiku," I said lightly. "I needed that."

"I can't have my little Ria being all mopey," she jested as her hand shot out and she pinched my cheek, pulling at my skin and forcing me to make a half-smile. "You'll make Toshiro moody, and we both know how difficult he is to deal with when he's irritable."

"You're the one who usually makes him grumpy," I said with a small laugh. "You two have been together for years and you can still get under his skin."

"I've been able to do that since he was just a boy," she mused. "He's so easy to rile up. For a while there, it was the only rise I could get out of him."

"Would you two quit gossiping so loudly," a familiar male voice interrupted us. Lieutenant Abarai stood in the middle of the path before us. His arms were crossed and he had an irritated expression on his face. He was wearing a green yukata that completely offset his red hair that was braided over one shoulder. His deep red eyes flicked between me and Rangiku, clearly bemused by our joined arms.

"We weren't gossiping," Rangiku denied as she released my arm and started walking faster to close the distance between them.

"Unlike the barracks, it's dead quiet here. I could hear you from clear across the compound."

"You're just jealous," she said as she flicked her hair behind her shoulder. "Since you got married, you hardly ever go out drinking with us. It's so boring," she whined, dragging out her words to taunt him.

"Oh, shut it, will ya? You'll make-"

"We are not boring!" Rukia's voice shouted from one of the rooms beside them, followed by a loud thud.

"Rukia!" Rangiku cheered in a placating tone. "I didn't think we were here yet!"

"Well you are," she growled as she emerged from a set of open shoji doors. She was still dressed in her Captain's haori and shihakusho, but her hair was pinned back and up in a loose bun. Her violet eyes were annoyed as she glared at Rangiku.

"Aw, you've been so stiff ever since you got promoted," Rangiku said with a pout.

"Unlike you, I take my position seriously," Rukia jabbed back.

"Hey, I take my job seriously. I just like to enjoy myself while I do it," Rangiku said with a shrug.

Rukia let out a rough sigh and turned to me. Her expression lightened and she smiled as she stepped towards me. "Ria, I'm glad to see you on your feet already."

I bowed my head to her as I said, "thank you for housing me while I was unconscious."

"Don't mention it," she said dismissively "How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine," I replied automatically, but the raised brow she gave me had me elaborating, "I am a little weak, but I don't feel any pain."

"Ah, that's Captain Kotetsu's doing. You'll start to feel it in a few hours."

I nodded and looked past her to Rangiku and Renji, expecting someone else to step out from one of the doors. I opened myself and felt him near by, but not here. I turned to look at the wall, following his spiritual pressure with my eyes.

"He's speaking with Byakuya I think," Rukia said, following my gaze. "Assuming you're looking for Toshiro, that is."

I blushed at her words and nodded. Everyone here knew that Toshiro and I were seeing each other, but I wasn't used to openly talking about it or admitting it. Within the Squad, only Rangiku actually knew, though I suspected that everyone had heard the rumors or overheard Rangiku talking about it. But, it was still strange just having someone else who knew about us and acknowledged it so casually. Rangiku normally teased me about it.

I nodded and pushed back the urge to find him. I wanted to go to him, but if I did, I wasn't sure that I could hold myself back from breaking down when I found him. Just thinking about what I had felt in the arena made my muscles tighten again. Part of me wanted to find him just so I could hide in his embrace, but the other part of me wanted my zanpakuto so I wouldn't feel so vulnerable. I was just cannon fodder without her, but lately I wasn't much better with her either.

"You should eat something before those horse pills Rangiku gave you decide to churn your stomach," she said lightly as she turned on her heel and started back towards the room she had emerged from. I forced my thoughts back and moved to follow her.

"Thank you," I said quietly. I tuned back into Rangiku and Lieutenant Abarai's conversation as we passed them, hiding a smile when I realized she was making fun of his tattoos.

"What is it with guys and marking up their faces? Are those even real, or do you paint them on every morning?" She asked as she reached up to prod his forehead with her finger. He smacked her hand away before she touched him, making a show of his displeased expression.

"They're real, and we do it because we can," he snapped as he deflected another guided poke aimed at his forehead.

"You and Shuhei are so strange," she mused as I passed her heading into the room. "At least Shuhei's stand for something. Yours are just decorative."

"They are not decorative!" He barked as he slapped her hands away again.

I had to work to hold in my laughter as their bickering continued, forcing me to tune them out when I entered the dimly lit room. I hadn't realized where we were until I saw the empty kimono stand against the far wall, joined by a small bench and tabled writing surface. The last time I had seen this room, it had been barren except for the kimono stand and my koto. It was normally her practice room, but she had since had a kotatsu table placed in the center. A cream colored blanket extended around the table and was surrounded by several small pillows all in varying colors and shapes. In the center of the table a large setting of various finger foods sat, looking like they had been heavily appreciated.

"I hope this will be enough," Rukia said as she walked around the table to the kimono stand. She took off her Captains haori and,hung it from the corner before turning around and moving towards the table. "I can get one of the attendants to fetch more if needed."

"No need," I quickly said as I moved to sit at the table, following her example. "I'm usually a light eater anyway."

"I can see that," Rukia said as she snuggled under the thick blanket, pulling her self close to the table. She set her elbows on the edge and leaned forward, finding a small circle shaped rice ball with her fingers and popping it in her mouth. "I guess I'm just used to Ichika stuffing her face."

I smiled at her comment as I settled under the blanket. I reached behind me for one of the pillows and paused when I noticed Rukia giving me a strange look.

"What?" I asked her.

"You're really going to sit so formally at a kotatsu?"

I looked down at myself, wondering briefly what was wrong with the way I was sitting. I had sat with my legs tucked under me, my back straight to allow minimal movement to interfere with the placement of the bandages. I glanced back over to her and reached finished reaching for the pillow. I hesitantly placed it at my hip instead of between my legs and my butt, and slowly let myself slide to the side, allowing the pillow to cushion me.

Her raised brow relaxed and she smiled at me, "that's better."

I let out a small sigh of relief and brought my hands down to settle in my lap. "Sorry."

"You're too stiff," she criticized as she popped another one of the mini rice balls in her mouth.

"Its how I was raised," I said as I reached out to the meat buns, pulling my sleeve away from the table in the process. She watched with an amused expression as I lifted one from the plate and brought it back.

"I guess having it drilled into you as a kid makes it stick better," she mused.

"Just like you, I have to function on my clan's behalf at social events, so I am glad that my mannerisms stuck," I said before I bit into the meat bun. My eyes fluttered as the delicious contents rolled over my tongue. Either this was a slice of pure joy or someone had made this with magic.

Rukia hummed out a sigh and turned to look back at the kimono stand that she had hung her haori on. "We were both brought into this world, aren't we?"

I swallowed the half chewed bite I had taken and nodded. "Yes, but I barely remember my time in the Rukon district. I was brought into the Ise Clan when I was very young."

"If you two are going to reminisce, then we need sake or Its just boring," Rangiku said as she waltzed into the room.

"I doubt that's a good idea for me," I said with a small laugh as she plopped down beside me.

"Non-sense. Liquor just makes the drugs work better," she valiantly jested as she reached out to the display of food and snatched a slice of pork that she promptly tossed in her mouth.

"And it thins your blood," I said in an exasperated tone.

"You are a horrible influence," Renji commented as he took a seat kiddy corner to his wife.

"I am a great influence. You should have seen her face before I cheered her up. I think she was ready to start crying."

"I was not," I denied vehemently.

"Yes you were," she said slyly, her eyes narrowing and her mouth curling into a smirk.

"Oh, leave the poor girl alone Rangiku," Renji said, drawing her attention to him and starting an onslaught of conversation. I let out a relieved sigh and settled into the background of conversation as Rangiku laid into him about his choice of hairstyle, riling up Rukia in the process. She was awfully energetic for it being past midnight…

Their conversation carried on for sometime, allowing me to zone out and into my own thoughts as I slowly ate the remainder of my meat bun. I knew what Rangiku had said about not forcing the memories, but I tried to run through the order of events in my head. I vaguely remembered my back slamming into the floorboards of dojo, but it seemed like,the memory was from years ago instead of days, and I wasn't really sure if it was old or not. I couldn't see Ichika in my head, just the impact I had made and my words as I had replied.

I pushed my thoughts onward, finding that the moment I had activated my shikai I had a clear view of what had happened directly around me. Normally my memories of my shikai were vivid and almost dream like in their quality, but this was far more limited. It was just me and what I touched, which was so strange that I had to focus on it even harder. I gently laid my hand over my chest, covering the spot where I had been ran through. I could almost hear words before the burning sensation slid through me.

Burning… why did it burn?

I drew my hand down my cheek, feeling the raised skin as I tried to remember where this injury had fallen in the chain of events. I shifted, grabbing an imaginary blade as it cut down, no... up. It had been moving up. I had been looking at him, the angle forced as my hair had been pulled tight. I had been looking at him… At him?

That was right, they had been taller than me. I had to tilt my head back even when I wasn't being forced to. There were other women, like Rangiku, who were taller than me, but he had to have been around Toshiro's height. The angle wasn't the right for anyone much shorter… maybe. I couldn't seem to visualize it, like my mind couldn't focus. I tried to picture them, but all I saw was invisible space in my mind. I could feel their hand, the blade of their sword, the ground as it had pierced their thigh. It was all there in my head, but I couldn't process it.

I needed my shikai to sort out my thoughts, stuff them into categories and figure out what I could. I didn't want to be vulnerable to an unknown threat. I had dealt with that with Mitsuji, and he ended up taking my sister from me. I had gotten her back in the end, mostly… but if I didn't solve this now, what else would I lose? Who else? I couldn't let that happen.

"Are you alright Ria?" Rangiku's voice drew me from my thoughts. I hadn't realized it, but they had been quiet for a while now.

"I-I need my zanpakuto," I answered. "If I can force my thoughts and focus, I know I can figure out what happened."

"That's probably not such a good idea so soon after being injured like you were," she said slowly.

"I didn't lose control. I just didn't have the mental capacity to draw reishi from objects that people won't miss like I normally do," I said sternly as I met her sapphire eyes and held them. I has said it more to convince myself than her, but it had to be right. I was so careful not to even use my zanpakuto when I felt like I would lose control. There was just no way that I would have allowed myself to do it. "You said it didn't feel like I lost control, so I didn't. I just couldn't focus on what I was pulling reishi from or put it back."

"It's not that," she said hesitantly. "I mean, it is, but you should see what you did to the arena before you try to use your shikai again."

"I can't remember it all together," I said, ignoring her words. "My memories are hazy, but they are there. If I can create it outside of my head, put it in order as I remember things, I can put it together in a way that makes sense. My mind just doesn't want to focus on it."

"Are you sure that's a good idea right now?" Rangiku asked, her voice softening.

"Why wouldn't it be?" I asked, clearly baffled as to why she would want to stop me. "It's right there, I can see it. I just can't make sense of it."

"Because," Toshiro's voice said from the doorway behind me, startling me enough to make me jump and turn to look at him. I hid a cringe as my chest yelled at me for the sudden movement and placed my hand on the ground to steady myself as the pain slowly ebbed away into nothing. "As soon as you call on your reiatsu, you'll end the lingering effects of Captain Kotetsu's shikai that are keeping you from feeling your wound."

I started to say something to argue with him, but stopped myself when I met his aquamarine gaze. He was calm and unrushed, making me realize just how frantic my own thoughts had become. All the questions and feelings of uncertainty that were swarming through my mind had put me on edge, had made me want to do something, anything, to fix it. But, now wasn't the time. His steady gaze made me relook at the urgency I had been feeling and with it, my resolve to do something deflated.

I dropped my eyes to the floor, suddenly feeling silly and foolish. What was wrong with me? I wouldn't have normally argued like that. I wanted so desperately to remember what happened, but I was still injured. Was I still feeling the fear I had before and not realizing it, or was this something else? I had almost worked myself up into trying to do something really stupid.

Toshiro stepped toward me from the open doorway and took to one knee so close to me that his haori brushed across my shoulder. Around anyone else he would have refrained from interacting with me so closely, but he here he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me and pull me gently into him. I shifted with his embrace, curling my legs around so I could be closer to him and wrapped my right arm around his waist, leaving my left arm to be gently tucked between us.

"It's going to be alright," he murmured into my hair as he kissed the top of my head. "You don't need to push yourself. We will figure it out when you are healed."

I shook my head, nuzzling my nose into his shihakusho as I said, "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

He gently shushed me as his hand trailed over my hair, coaxing me to relax against him. I knotted my hand in his haori and curled tighter into him, hiding myself in the curve of his body as he leaned over me.

I turned my head to rest the side my face against his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat. My head was growing fuzzy, but cradled in Toshiro's embrace, I couldn't seem to care. I forced my hand to relax from holding his haori and ran my hand up his back to find Tankyu no Unmei's sheath. I circled her with my hand and felt myself relax like I hadn't been capable of all night. That's what had been wrong. I didn't know why, but I had needed to feel her. I had been fine when I was near her manifestation, but as soon as she had left, tension had been building inside me.

'It isn't me that is doing that to you,' my zanpakuto's soft voice whispered through my head.

'It feels that way,' I replied.

'It's you, Herald,' she replied as I felt her sheath grow warm under my hand. 'You are the one who feels the need to defend yourself even when surrounded by those whose purpose is to protect.'

'They aren't here to protect me.'

'Why do you think you are here and not with the healers? Yes, they want to keep your injuries known to few people, but they could have sent you to your quarters or back to the Ise Clan. Instead they brought you here, to the residence of two Captains and a Lieutenant, with your Captain and Lieutenant in tow.' She let out a long sigh. 'You need to think more before you react.'

"Are you alright?" Toshiro whispered into my hair.

"No," I said, my voice coming out in a high and pinched sound. "But I will be. My head just doesn't make sense right now."

"It's the painkillers," Rangiku said just loud enough for me to hear. "They're probably hitting her pretty hard."

"Painkillers?" Toshiro asked, his tone sounding surprised.

"Yeah." Rangiku's voice was suggestive, and after a moment I felt Toshiro shake his head. He shifted, pulling away so that he could adjust his grip on me. He carefully slid me across the tatami mat, out from under the heavy blanket that surrounded the kotatsu table and turning me so he could slide his arm behind me and under my legs. I didn't even have the time to think about protesting before he had lifted me off the floor in one smooth movement.

"I can walk ya know," I grumbled as he pulled me into his chest and I tucked my head into the crook of his shoulder. For the first time since I had woken, I felt the pull the motion made on my stitches and adjusted my shoulder to relieve it. They had said that the pain would come back, but part of me hadn't believed it until now.

Toshiro didn't reply as he turned, making my head spin with the motion and forcing me to close my eyes.

"Are you going back?" An unfamiliar male voice asked. I cracked an eye open to see Captain Kuchiki standing between us and the doorway.

"If we completely change our routine, the Squad will begin asking questions," Toshiro said like it was an answer. "As far as they are aware, she lost control. There is nothing that would warrant her distance from the squad."

"Understandable," he replied, but continued speaking as Toshiro passed him and moved out onto the deck, "I know that of all people I do not need to tell you this, but make sure she understands your intentions when she is of sound mind before you let her interact with your squad."

"Yes, I am aware," Toshiro said, nodding his head before he leaned forward and transitioned into a flash step. I barely felt his steps, his movements feeling fluid and careful as the world zipped by. It was so dark with night that I only saw the briefest of lights as he passed by them. It made me feel dizzy to see them winking in and out of my vision, but I had to guess that part had to do with the tingling sensation that I was slowly noticing all over my body. It was weird, like my body was covered in fuzz or fur and my skin was warm despite what I knew should have been a chilled autumn night.

I startled awake when something cold brushed my cheek. My mind reeled, completely lost as to what was going on when my eyes opened only to be greeted by darkness. I was lying on my right side, a position I wasn't accustomed to, and despite being wide awake with panic, I couldn't seem to bring myself to think clearly. My entire body went stiff as I struggled to remember what had happened. I started to push myself up, but my chest lit on fire with pain at the movement, making me cry out and fall back to my side. I reached out, searching almost frantically with my hand to find my zanpakuto, but when my hand wrapped around an unfamiliar hand guard I froze. This wasn't Tankyu no Unmei… Hyorinmaru?

"Ria, calm down," Toshiro said in a soothing tone as I felt whatever I was lying on shift. No, it wasn't shifting. It was Toshiro's arms tightening around me, pulling my body back to press against him.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice shaking with pain and adrenaline. "Did I lose my memory again? I-I can't remember."

"No," he cooed as his arm under my neck flexed, turning my head around so I was looking up at him as he leaned over me. I could vaguely make out his white hair in the darkness, but that was enough to make my mind slow and my breathing ease. "You fell asleep in my arms."

"I just... fell asleep." I let out a short sigh and forced myself to relax as the adrenaline washed out of my system. I wanted to turn into him, to press closer to his body, but the pain from my chest kept me where I was. I closed my eyes and let my head loll to the side to rest against his arm as I breathed out, "I hadn't realized it."

His fingers brushed my temple, trailing down my cheek as darkness seemed to ebb away into light. I ignored it as I focused on Toshiro's feather light touch as it caressed down my jaw and across my neck. His hand rested over my bandages, the weight of his touch surprisingly not hurting like I had almost expected it to. He must have been using kaido, because the longer his hand remained there, the less I felt the aching pain that came with each breath.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "I-I thought I had forgotten again. It scared me."

"Your spiritual pressure was stronger than the person who attacked you," he started to explain. "If you hadn't been so much stronger, you might have lost all of your memory before your body cleared out the substance that was controlling you."

"The black stain," I whispered to myself as I clenched my fist. "That's what was burning in my chest... Is it still there?"

"No," he said as his hand trailed over my chest, sliding under the collar of my yukata to trail over where I remembered feeling the burning trail. "It was there when I found you, but it's faded away."

I took in a deep breath to let out a sigh, but ended up choking on it when a sharp pain in my chest made me flinch. The aching pain had been so numbed that I hadn't expected it to hurt. I opened my eyes to see Toshiro looking down at me, a light green glow illuminating his face and making his normally aquamarine eyes appear green like a spring ocean. His lips curled in a soft smile as he gazed down at me, and I couldn't help but to try and weakly return it.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I found his hand on my chest and covered it with my own, dimming the light of his kaido. "I don't mean to be such a burden on you, but I can't seem to help it. I-I was just terrified for a moment..."

"You're not a burden," he corrected. He shifted, pulling his arm from behind my head and sliding back so I would roll onto my back before he pressed pressed into my side. He slipped his hand out from under mine and found my left hand. He kept his hand glowing with the power of his kaido so we could see as he brought my hand between us. He coaxed my fingers to relax and opened my fist, exposing the scar on my palm to his gaze. He feathered kisses down the center of my hand, following the scar that ran across it.

"Toshiro," I barely whispered his name. His eyes rolled up to meet mine, capturing me in his sea green gaze. I saw some emotion pass through his eyes that I still didn't have a name for, but before I could even try to understand it his gaze flicked away to watch what he was doing.

"Every scar," he murmured as he drew my hand up and found the burn scar that ran around my wrist. He trailed more kisses along the darkened skin, tracing the shape of the hand that had made it.

"Every wound." His hand slid up my arm, the glow of his kaido covering my bandaged chest wound as he shifted his weight from his other hand to his elbow. He slid higher and his mouth hovered over mine, his hot breath teasing my lips. I started to lift my head to close the distance, but he leaned just enough to the side so that he kissed my cheek, his lips covering the raised skin in a trail of tender kisses that continued down my jaw to my chin.

"Every sigh." His knee slid between my legs as his now free hand slipped under my yukata and gripped my thigh, drawing my knee up. He ran his hand down my inner thigh, eliciting a small, pleasure driven gasp that had me wishing that I wasn't injured. He chuckled as his mouth hovered over mine once more and whispered, "or gasp. I'll take those too."

"Kiss me, damn it," I swore at him as my hand slipped behind his neck and knotted in his hair. He held himself up despite my attempt to pull him down.

"Every demand," he said with a huff of a laugh and pulled back just enough so he could focus his eyes on mine. His eyes were softer than I had ever seen them, filled with tenderness that I didn't know he could express. His hand drew up my body and his thumb brushed across my bottom lip. "Every fear, every whim, every desire, and every pain: They're all mine to tend to. You could never be a burden on me."

"Why?" I asked, prompting him to continue when I felt he might have left his words there. It was selfish and needy, but I wanted to hear him –no, needed to hear him say it. Just once…

He was silent for a long moment and I watched as thoughts passed through his eyes. He started to pull away, I could feel it in the way that his touch became stiff and his eyes seemed to harden. But then he stopped himself. His entire body seemed to pause in a never ending moment that had my heart pounding in my chest. His gaze shifted and I realized he hadn't been looking me in the eye the for a while. His stiff touch relaxed and the tenderness returned to his eyes as he said, "Because I love you, Ria Yamamoto."

I had been waiting for him to say that ever since I had told him that I loved him a month ago. I had started to believe that he would never say it because he couldn't, because who ever had hurt him in the past had taken that away from him. But, there it was. That little phrase that I had resigned myself to never hearing had finally fallen from his lips.

"You're so stupid, Toshiro," I said as I tried to blink away the sudden tears that were warping my vision, causing them to fall. I moved to wipe the wet trails away, but his arm shifted to block my hand. I knew he was smiling. I could just hear it in the deep chuckle that reverberated through his chest.

"That's the kind of response I get for-"

"No!" I said, cutting him off. He was messing with me, but I couldn't help but to react. I covered my eyes with the back of my hand to hide my watery eyes. My words were choppy with a happy laugh I was trying to suppress as I said, "You just have horrible timing."

"You're right, I do. Your zanpakuto made it clear that there could be some lingering effects from your fight, and I know how scared you had been," he crooned as he lightly tugged on my hand, coaxing me to stop hiding. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead before he continued, "I saw it in your eyes when you woke. I couldn't stand to see you so worked up when you were right here, in my arms."

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "I don't-"

He stopped my words as his mouth finally pressed to mine, forcing me to swallow what I had been saying. He pulled back after a moment and said, "Quit apologizing. There's nothing to be sorry for."

"I'm-"

He kissed me again, silencing the words I had been about to say. He pulled back after a longer moment, leaving his mouth so close that his lips brushed mine when he said, "you're going to make me repeat that again, aren't you?"

"No," I said with a small laugh. "I love you too."

 


	5. She Who Plays

Warm metal brushed my cheek as I started to roll over, but an arm around my waist pulled me back mid motion. I groaned as my sleep-encumbered brain remembered why Toshiro had moved me. I didn't like lying on my right side, but even with all the time that he had spent healing my chest wound last night, it still ached to lay on my left. He had been keeping my body pressed close to him all night, ensuring that when I unconsciously tried to roll over that I couldn't pull away from him. It made me smile as I snuggled back into him, trying to find a position that was comfortable.

That was when I noticed the zanpakuto in my arms. I hadn't remembered grabbing my zanpakuto in the middle of the night, but finding her in my arms wasn't all the strange. Or, it wasn't until I realized that the hand guard that I was affectionately rubbing with my cheek didn't belong to Tankyu no Unmei. I cracked an eye open and looked quizzically at Hyorinmaru's hilt as I tried to puzzle out when I had managed to grab Toshiro's zanpakuto. After a moment, I let out a dismissive sigh and curled around the much longer sheath.

I had never held Hyorinmaru before, let alone cradled him in my arms. It was an odd sensation, like power was humming along his surface. I remembered grabbing him last night when I had startled awake, but I hadn't realized that I'd pulled him to me. The man at my back and the sword in my arms felt almost exactly alike, only where Toshiro was gentle with his power, Hyorinmaru felt unrefined and dangerous. His spiritual pressure always felt cold to me, but I visualized it as a cool breeze that wafted in before a storm, or the light current that dusted the earth with frost. His zanpakuto struck me as hail and freezing rain that smothered the world that it fell upon. I knew Toshiro could feel the same, but it didn't bother me. Those violent images would never be turned on me.

Toshiro curled tighter around me and I let out a satisfied sigh as I convinced myself to drift back to sleep.

I was startled awake by a loud knocking that shook the floor with its force. I instantly reached out find Tankyu no Unmei, but I was stopped when Toshiro's hand closed over mine. His hot breath blew over my ear as he leaned over me, sheltering me in curve of his body.

"It's Rangiku," he murmured as he pulled my hand back. I let out a sigh and relaxed as he propped himself up on his elbow so that he was looming over me.

"What?" he half shouted, loud enough for her to hear him from wherever she was. I heard the back-door slide open and several footsteps sounded on the floor.

"Ria is still with you?" She asked as the living room's door was next, sliding open and footsteps softening on the tatami mats. Toshiro released my hand and quickly grabbed the edge of the sheets to pull them up so that my body was completely covered by them just before the door to his room was also flung open, spilling light across us and making me shrink back to hide from the blinding light.

"How is she?" Rangiku asked, concern leaking into her voice as she walked in without a care.

"Damn it, Rangiku. What the hell are you doing?" Toshiro asked, his voice sounding enraged.

"You've been holed up in here for two days," she accused as she stopped at the side of the futon. "I know you two are close and all, but don't you think that's a little much?"

"What?" I asked, completely shocked at her words. She gave me a funny look before her gaze shifted to Toshiro.

"Has she been sleeping this whole time?" She asked, clearly not believing it.

"Until last night, yes," Toshiro begrudgingly answered her.

She paused for a moment, looking like she had been about to say something until Toshiro's reply had surprised her. After a moment, her lips slanted in a disappointed frown and she cocked her hip out to the side to rest her hand on. "I suppose Nanao is all worked up in a tizzy for nothing then."

My eyes went wide with her words. I hadn't even considered that Lady Nanao would have heard about us. I had been carefully avoiding her and Daisuke ever since Mio had been brought back to the Soul Society. I couldn't stand to face them while knowing that I had been the reason for Mio's current state. It had resulted in several messages being passed between my clan and I requesting my presence for clan meetings, but I hadn't returned to the estate.

"Rangiku, get out," Toshiro said casually as he turned his gaze down to me, trying to gauge why I had choked on my words.

"Not until you promise to get up," she said stubbornly.

"Get out," Toshiro said again, his voice darkening.

"Ichigo and Kazui are here to see you, and I'm not leaving until I know you're getting up."

Toshiro bit back his next words just before they came out. His body tensed and his eyes hardened just before he looked up at her.

"Why are they here?" He asked, his voice quiet but clear.

"I think they should be the ones to tell you," she said, shifting her posture to look less defiant. "It's not exactly unexpected with recent events, but still."

Toshiro let out a sigh and ran his hand down his face. "I'll be out in a few."

"You too Ria," she said, her gaze shifting down to me.

I nodded slowly, my mind still reeling around the news of Lady Nanao. Appearing satisfied, Rangiku turned on her heel and headed out the door, sliding it closed behind her.

"Well?" A male voice asked from the living room.

"They're getting up. We can wait for them at my place," she directed them as her footsteps trailed further away.

"What about this?" A different male voice asked.

"Bring it. If you leave it here we may not see Ria for a month."

Their footsteps faded as they walked out, ending with the sound of the back-door sliding shut. Toshiro and I laid there for a long moment, our thoughts churning over what Rangiku had said.

"Ichigo and Kazui... Kurosaki?" I asked hesitantly.

"The substitute Soul Reapers, yes," he let out another sigh before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Let's go find out what they want."

It only took a few minutes for Toshiro to change into his uniform, unlike me who took a while longer. I hadn't realized that I'd been out for two days, and that required actually getting clean instead of just changing. Thanks to the time that Toshiro had spent using kaido on me, my chest wound was completely closed just leaving the ache in my bones to hinder my movements. At least I didn't have to replace the bandages when I donned the extra uniform that I had started keeping here. Having to run to my room in the middle of the night after tearing my shihakusho top had been more than enough motivation to stash an extra uniform in his drawer. Toshiro had also left my kanzashi on the dresser which I slipped into my hair like I had always done.

Once I had finally been ready, I tied Tankyu no Unmei to my hip and moved through the living room and out the back door to almost walk into Toshiro's back. He turned, glancing down at me over his shoulder with a lifted quizzical brow. I blinked up at him, surprised for some reason that he was there.

"You should probably go back to bed," he said as he turned to me, his eyes taking in my appearance.

"I'm alright, just still trying to wake up I think," I said as I shook my head. "I'm sorry that I kept you up last night. You must have spent most of the night healing me while I slept."

"It wasn't a problem," he replied, his gaze softening for only a moment before he looked over to Rangiku's house. He let out a sigh and his eyes dropped to the floor before he said, "I have a feeling that whatever they have to say isn't going to be good news. Ichigo only ever makes the trip to the Soul Society when something is going horribly wrong and I don't want you to get dragged into a fight you aren't ready for."

"I never was much of a fighter anyway," I said with a small smile. "It may be a Soul Reaper's duty to fight and protect, but as you know, I am really terrible at it."

He let out a small laugh and started for Rangiku's house, leaving me to follow closely behind him. We crossed the grassy expanse that seperated their houses at a casual pace that was deceptively calm for the building tension that I could feel coming from Toshiro. He was worried, but he was trying not to show it. I didn't know what he was expecting, but as we stepped up onto Rangiku's porch the light chatter coming from the three inside was clearly discernible.

Toshiro didn't bother trying to listen in, instead making his way around the porch to the side that her main room opened up with double doors.

"Ah, Captain!" Rangiku called out when he rounded the side with the open doors. "It sure took you two long enough. I thought I was going to have to come over there and drag you two out."

Toshiro ignored her as he stepped into the room, leaving me to take the same path. I stopped in the open doorway as the two men came into my sights. I recognized them instantly with their bright orange hair and darker orange eyes as exactly who Rangiku had said they were.

Substitute Soul Reapers.

Without knowing their story, you knew they were related. If the hair and eyes weren't enough, they both had a similar body shape, though Ichigo appeared to have more muscle to him than Kazui, and their sitting position was similar with their legs crossed in front of them and an elbow or hand propped on the table that they were sitting around. The difference in age was clear between the two, but I couldn't tell if Kazui's face was soft because of his mother, his slightly longer, wavy hair, or if it was simply age that made him look friendlier than his father.

Despite their physical similarity, their uniforms were completely different. Kazui looked like he had thrown his shihakusho on over his Human attire with a green hood hanging out the back of his collar. He wore his zanpakuto across his back, held there by a sash that matched his hood. Ichigo wore the typical shihakusho, the only sign of individuality in the red plated chain that held his zanpakuto to his back. The different uniforms made me wonder if Orihime being a Human had anything to do with their differences, but I didnt have much of a chance to ponder as Toshiro continued inside and I had to turn my attention to where I was going.

"If you had given us warning instead of barging in, we wouldn't have made you wait," Toshiro said in a clipped tone as he sat at the table beside Rangiku.

"I tried calling," Rangiku whined.

Toshiro only rolled his eyes before turning his attention to the two men. "What brings you two here?"

"You certainly woke up grumpy," Ichigo commented with a grin.

"Pardon me for expecting bad news," Toshiro said, sounding genuinely apologetic. "Please regale to me what celebration you have come here to participate in."

Ichigo's brow twitched and his mouth quirked in a forced smile. "Do you always have to be so snarky?"

"This isn't snarky," he replied with a small shrug. "This is general curiosity."

"What is that?" I asked, interrupting them as my eyes crossed over a box that was lying just behind them. It must have been six foot long, and I had a feeling that I knew exactly what it was. It was the right shape, the right length, the right height… it had to be it.

"It's that thing you had me order," Rangiku said lightly. "That  
instrument or whatever."

I didn't bother joining them around the table, instead moving around them and towards the box. I could feel eyes on me, but I ignored them as the entire box came into my line of sight. It looked like a simple wooden shipping container with a foreign language that looked similar to our own but was completely indiscernible written across it, looking like written instructions. I knelt beside the wood and ran my hand along it's edge. It certainly was my guzheng, and knowing it made excitement well in my chest.

"How did you get it here without damaging it in the precipice world?" I asked as I shuffled to the side, looking for an obvious way to open it.

"I can call hell butterflies," Kazui said as he got to feet and walked over to me. "My Dad never figured out how to use them, but I did when I was training here a few years ago, so I just walked in with it."

"Thank you," I said as I glanced up to him briefly before returning my gaze to the wood under my hands. The crate was sealed tight with nails hammered into every seam. I would need a pry bar to open it, or something that could remove nails like they weren't even there… I didn't bother hesitating, knowing all too well that Rangiku would try to stop me. I found the hilt of my zanpakuto and called my shikai to life, not even bothering to say the words. It only took me the initial rush of power to have the nails lying across the top of the box, and I released her hilt to stop it before my mind's eye could take over. I didn't want to ruin the surprise of seeing what was inside.

Sounds of surprise came from the people in the room, but I ignored them as I gathered up the nails in my hand and slid them into my sleeve so they wouldn't fall onto the floor before I lifted the lid. Kazui caught the lid as I lifted it, taking the weight off my hands and holding it up so it wouldn't fall onto the floor.

"Anyway," Ichigo said, resuming what he had been intending to say before I interrupted. "I figured I should come talk to you in person rather than leaving Kazui to relay a message."

I gazed down at the case inside the box and took hold of the handles to heft it out. My chest yelled at me with the weight of the case, but other than an unstoppable cringe I ignored the pain and hefted it free to set it beside the large wooden crate.

"It must be something important," Rangiku mused as she leaned forward to rest her elbows on the table.

"Grimmjow is pissed," Ichigo said bluntly. "He's been stalking Karakura Town in an idle rage for the past few days. He says he's waiting for something, but he won't say what."

"I know what he wants," Toshiro said with a sigh.

"What? He never comes to the world of the living for more than whatever Kisuke demands of him before he returns to Hueco Mundo."

"Captain Kurotsuchi has one of his Numerous locked away in his lab," Toshiro explained.

"Really? That's it?" Ichigo asked with surprise.

"That's it?" Rangiku repeated after him. "You busted into the Soul Society and took on the entire 13 Court Guard Squads for Rukia, and she was just your friend at the time."

"Yeah, but doesn't Captain Kurotsuchi have a whole herd of Numeros stuck in his lab?"

"A herd? They aren't cattle," Rangiku said.

"Whatever, you know what I mean," Ichigo said, waving his hand dismissively. "I know he can't open a garganta inside the Seireitei with the walls up, but I think he's looking for a way in."

"What makes you think that?" Rangiku asked.

Kazui perked up with her question and spun around. I ducked just as the lid he was holding spun with him, but a loud thump followed by a shout told me that Ichigo hadn't been so lucky.

"What the hell Kazui?" He half shouted.

"Sorry Dad," he quickly apologized as he set the lid down. Ichigo quietly swore to himself as he rubbed the back of his head and glared up at his son as he took a seat in his original spot. "What I had been meaning to say, is Grimmjow has been lingering around that areas that those abnormalities in the precipice world exist."

"You know this how?" Toshiro asked.

"I used them to sneak into the Seireitei to see Ichika when I was younger. I don't have to do that any more, but I still know where they are," Kazui explained. "Grimmjow has been hanging out in those areas. Some of them lead to nowhere, so I think he's trying to figure out which ones are safe."

Toshiro, Rangiku and I were silent for a long moment and I knew that I was gaping at him. He just played around in the precipice world as a kid… that was different.

"Anyway, you know how Grimmjow thinks. I don't know why he's so motivated, but I do know that he is, and he's willing to do something pretty stupid if he doesn't get his Numeros back," Ichigo concluded.

Toshiro let out a sigh and dropped his gaze to the table as he thought over what the two had said. I hadn't realized that I had stopped trying to unpack my guzheng once I set it down, but now that I was looking at my hands I realized that my stomach had sank and my desire to play with the instrument had vanished.

"It's not that simple," Toshiro started. "He's keeping him around for a reason, not just because he feels like it."

"You mean because of her sister," Ichigo said with a gesture towards me.

"Yes and no," Toshiro said as his gaze shifted to me and held my gaze for a long, searching moment before returning to Ichigo. That one look told me that he knew something I didn't, and I wasn't sure if I wanted clarification. "That Numeros is part of the process that Captain Kurotsuchi has been using to free the other possessed Soul Reapers from Mitsuji's Soul Candies. Without him, we cannot free the remaining victims."

"What? How?" Rangiku asked, clearly interested in the story behind his words. I wasn't interested though. I had intentionally been avoiding the details. The less I knew, the less tormented I was and the better I was able not think about it.

Toshiro didn't look at me again as his words hesitated. He was giving me a chance to leave if I wanted to. I hadn't spoken a word about Mio in days, hadn't even allowed myself to think about her. It was how I had chosen to cope with the situation and he had respected that.

I dropped my gaze back to the case that my hands were still on and took a deep breath before busying myself with finding the clasps. I wasn't sure if staying was the right choice, but hearing it come from Toshiro was leaps and bounds better than it coming from someone else. I did need to know eventually, I had just been putting it off.

It took him another moment to start talking, but instead of diving into the current situation, he filled Ichigo and Kazui in on what had happened during the fight in the World of the Living that they had not been present for. I pointedly avoided looking up, focusing on my self-appointed task of seeing my guzheng for the first time. Proper etiquette would have never allowed me to so blatantly choose my own desires over the conversation that they were taking part in, but I didn't want to be involved. I knew what had happened up until I had fallen unconscious, and that was enough for me. I didn't need to listen to the details of what happened afterwards, but I heard them anyway as Toshiro summarized the events.

Popping open the case, I lifted it slowly so I could marvel in the craftsmanship that had been laid into the wood. Blue and gold flowers shone like jewels on a white cherry branch that had been carved and painted into the wood. The lacquer that covered the wood made it feel smooth to the touch, but the etched markings were clear despite the finish. The entire body was made of a dark cherry wood that seemed to glow with a healthy and well maintained deep red hue. I knew from the advertisement that this was a brand new instrument, but the quality made it look like it could have been a hundred years old and still looked new. It wasn't strung and the bridges were packed neatly alongside the body of the zither. Everything smelled like polish and wood just like my koto had when I first purchased it. It made my fingers itch to play it, but there wasn't even a silk wire to pluck. I would have to remedy that.

"Whatever Mitsuji did to remove his soul candy from Luien made it so his reiatsu completely rejects the soul candy's presence, or vice versa," Toshiro's voice registered as he said something I hadn't heard before. "It's how he's been been curing the Soul Reapers who were taken over, but it takes a great deal of time and toll on the body."

"So until she can be treated, he needs to stay here," Ichigo said, his voice filled with his thoughts.

"It's not just that. As Soul Reapers we have a certain resistance to Hollows. But, she's not a Soul Reaper," Toshiro said, his voice growing quiet. "She doesn't have the resilience nor the conditioning that we do."

Silence passed through the room as an understanding passed between them. My eyes had focused on a spot on my guzheng as I tried to catch onto what he wasn't saying. I didn't know enough about hollows, but I did know that I had missed something. I knew my sister was weak. I had seen her myself. The way they were talking about her though...

"Is there even a point for Captain Kurotsuchi to be keeping him then?" I asked, keeping my gaze down.

"He's the only way we have right now."

"But it won't work with her, right?" I asked before he could say more. "I don't understand what you guys are talking about, but I do understand that she can't do what worked for Takeshi Nakai and the others. So why are we bothering to keep him prisoner if he can't do anything?"

"What I don't understand," Kazui interrupted, "Is why Grimmjow even cares. If his Numeros was weak enough to fall victim to a Soul Reaper, then they aren't worth his time. He's said this before on numerous occasions."

"Whatever his reasons are, he's motivated. That's all that really matters. He's going to get him back, even if it's just to kill him himself, or die trying." Ichigo leaned back, catching his weight on his hands. "I came here to warn you guys and to do my best to keep anyone from killing each other. I swore to protect the Soul Society, but Grimmjow is also my friend. I'd much rather see things work themselves out."

Toshiro seemed to hesitate before he said, "he killed six members of my squad last week. I can't let that go unjustified."

"Justified?" Ichigo questioned. "What would you call justification? Retribution? What do you think he's doing, killing for the fun of it?"

"I wouldn't put it past him," Kazui said more to himself than his father.

"Shut up, you aren't helping," Ichigo snapped.

"It's true though," Kazui disagreed. "When I was training with Nel in Hueco Mundo, he was in a purely foul mood and he took it out on the Hollows down in Menos Forest. He tried to get Nel to fight him, but when she refused he went to the World of the Living."

"Hueco Mundo?" Rangiku asked.

"Yeah, I took a semester off from university to train. I was down in Hueco Mundo for the last three weeks, and now I'm here to train with Kensei and Shinji until the spring semester starts," he said as his gaze shifted from Rangiku to Toshiro. He bowed his head and kept it down as he said, "I am sorry. At the time, it was normal for him to stomp off, but if I had known he was going to attack your Squad I would have kept him from leaving."

"I appreciate your words, but it wasn't your responsibility," Toshiro said with a sigh. "He attacked my squad to send a message. If he had known that I was present, I would like to think that he wouldn't have even bothered with my men, but he did and I can't let my squad think that their deaths mean so little to me."

"I suppose we are at an impasse then," Rangiku said softly. "We cannot give up Luien Baras, and Grimmjow won't stop until he gets him back."

"I just wish I knew why," Ichigo said with sigh.

I shut the lid to my guzheng a little louder than I meant to and snapped the clasps closed. Standing up, I lifted the almost seven foot long case by its handle and carefully navigated around the conversing group. I knew their eyes were on me as I moved, but I didn't acknowledge them until Toshiro caught my free hand when I passed him, forcing me to stop. I kept my eyes on the floor in front of me for a long moment, debating with myself about what I would say to him if I met his gaze.

"Ria," he murmured my name, drawing my eyes to him like a lure.

"I'm not going far," I replied softly. "I just need to get the wires I made a few weeks ago."

"We need to talk before you interact with the squad," he said as he gently tugged on my hand, urging me to move back towards him.

"I can go with her," Kazui said, drawing my attention to him. "You're worried about her safety, right?"

I had started to tell him that I would be fine, but over me Rangiku said, "that's a great idea. Maybe she can show you around the place while you're at it."

"Rangiku-"

"Captain, it's a great idea. She's supposed to look weak right now according to whatever plan you've got worked up. Having her run around with a Kurosaki is the perfect way to enforce that notion," she argued.

"He is here to train, not to be a-"

"It's fine, really," Kazui said as he stood. "I've only stayed at the Kuchiki Manor when I've been here. Seeing how a real squad functions would be pretty cool."

"You should stay with us while you're here then. Get the full 13 Court Guard Squad experience!" Rangiku cheered.

"Rangiku, I hardly-"

"I'd like that," Kazui said over Toshiro.

"Its settled," Rangiku said with a nod, also ignoring her Captain's protested. "Ria, while you're getting whatever you need, can you set him up with a room?"

I could feel the impending argument that was about to unfold, so I nodded and gently slipped my hand from Toshiro's so I could set my guzheng down just outside the door. With my koto set up in my room, there would be no space for the guzheng so taking it with me was a project I wasn't ready for. I just wanted to string it and play.

"I'll show you around before we go to the housing barracks," I said as I met his smiling dark orange eyes.

"Wait," Toshiro said as I turned towards the buildings. I hesitated and glanced back to him as he seemed to struggle with his words. After a second he let out a sigh and said, "put him in the room beside yours."

I smiled and nodded before waving to Kazui to follow me as I stepped down off the porch. I could hear Toshiro and Rangiku's soft arguing as we walked away, and it made me struggle to hold in my laughter. I had never heard them argue quietly, but apparently the situation warranted it.

"So," Kazui started to say, drawing my attention to him. "I don't think I've ever been inside a Squad setting before. Is there,anything I should know?"

"I wouldn't really know where to start," I admitted. "I don't interact with the squad much, and since two day ago I have a feeling they'll be avoiding me."

"You're an officer though, right? I thought all of you had teams or whatever under you?"

"We do have combat teams, but I don't command any of them. Because of my zanpakuto's powers, I'm responsible for the repair and maintenance of the Seireitei or left to do Rangiku's paperwork when nothing is broken," I said as we stepped out from the grass and onto the concrete surrounding the buildings.

"Why would something like that make your squad avoid you?"

I hesitated to answer him, trying to think over my words until I realized that I didn't have to tiptoe around him. He wasn't Amagi, or Ono, or Ichika. He had almost nothing to do with the Soul Society other than abilities as a Soul Reaper, and with him being who he was, there was no way my abilities even remotely threatened him.

"I'm a Yamamoto, descendant from the man who was the most powerful Soul Reaper for over two millennia. My name carries weight, even if I don't feel it, and I may or may not have lost control of my shikai two days ago. It wasn't my fault, I lost control because of whatever my attacker did to me, but my squad thinks that I lost it and that's what matters. I don't know how many people realize it, but if I can completely overpower someone else's reiatsu, I can remove their very presence from the world. It's what I did to Mitsuji, and if I wanted to damage my bond with my zanpakuto, I could do it again."

"Do you feel like you lost control?" he asked.

"Not really. I did lose control, but it wasn't like I had no control. My mind's eye was still doing what I wanted it to do, but I guess I left the arena in shambles which is something I have never done before."

"Then they need to get over it," Kazui said, shrugging. I gave him a curious glance so he continued, "no one's perfect. When my inner hollow decided to wake up I had been ready for it, but I still demolished a good portion of squad 13's area before I was able to shut him down. I'm sure I scared the bejebers out of Ichika, but she got over it."

I smiled at the thought of Ichika's reactions. I hadn't been there at the time, but the entire Seireitei had felt his explosion of spiritual pressure. It had reminded me of the Quincy's attack on the Soul King's palace when I was a teenager. I didn't remember much about that time, but the way so many spiritual pressures had been flaring across the Seireitei had been terrifying and awe inspiring.

"Ah, here's the offices. Most of the officers and the administrative staff work here," I explained as we came up to the doors leading inside. "The Captain and Lieutenants offices are on the third floor, while myself through the 10th seat are on the second and the 11th through 20th seat are on the first floor with the rest of the staff."

Kazui hummed a note of understanding as I lead the way inside. I didn't bother showing him around the floors much, instead just leading him to the office I shared with Amagi and Ono. The wires I had made for the guzheng were in my drawer. I had fashioned them after some of the examples in the magazine I had ordered the instrument from, so I was hoping that they would work. I could retool them with my shikai if I needed to, but I didn't think Rangiku would appreciate it if I really did lose control at her house.

Stepped around the doorway that led into the office I looked around and smiled when Amagi turned in his chair to glance at the doorway. His face lit up with a smile when he saw me and he quickly stood, moving towards me as he said, "Yamamoto, how are you doing?"

"I'm alright," I replied as I stepped further into the room, aiming myself towards my desk in the back corner. I paused when I was about to pass Amagi as some funny feeling made my heart leap in my chest. I slowly turned my head too him, my eyes drawing up his body until I met his concern filled daffodil yellow eyes. He looked normal, but for some reason I could feel myself responding to him like… like I was scared of him. I didn't understand it. He felt normal, looked the same, had the same nerve easing smile that I had always liked about him, but something was wrong.

"Are you sure? We haven't seen you in two days," he said as started to move to place his hand on my shoulder. A hand reached out and caught Amagi's, holding off his touch.

"She's fine," Kazui said, his voice cheerful and friendly as he pulled Amagi's hand down and turned his grip into a hand shake. "I'm Kazui. It's a pleasure to meet you… I didn't catch your name?"

"Kyoruni Amagi," he answered after a long moment of silent surprise. "4th Seat of Squad 10."

"Well, I figured the rank part out," Kazui said with a laugh. "This is your office, right? I mean, your name is on the plaque outside. I just didn't know if you were Ono or Amagi."

"It is," Amagi answered, taken aback by Kazui's observations.

"That's good to know. Ria is showing me around since I'll be staying with your squad for a few weeks," Kazui informed him in a cheerful and completely non-threatening manner. I slowly turned around to look up at him, finding that his words were reflected in his cheerful expression.

What was wrong with me? My hand was itching to rest on my zanpakuto's hilt. It must have just been the lingering effects of whatever that black substance had been. I didn't know, but I didn't want to be around him. It just felt… wrong?

"Those wires are here, right?" Kazui asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I nodded and turned back towards my desk. I made quick work of retrieving the wires from the big bottom drawer and tucking the loops under my arm as the two men continued to politely converse.

"You said you were staying with us? What squad are you normally apart of?" Amagi asked.

"I don't belong to a squad. I'm just here for training," he said cheerfully.

"Training? With Ria?" Amagi asked, clearly horrified at the idea.

"Nah, Kensei and Shinji. I was going to stay with Ichika, but Rangiku offered and I just couldn't refuse, despite Toshiro's obvious distress," Kazui replied casually. If I hadn't grown used to the informal talk that went on between the captains and lieutenants, I would have balked at the way he was using everyone's first name. Amagi seemed to have blown a fuse, gaping at the orange haired man like he was crazy.

I forced out a laugh that sounded more nervous than joking as I said, "thank you Kazui. Shall I show you around the rest of the area?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," he replied, turning her genuinely cheerful smile my way. I gave him a shaky smile in return and skirted around Amagi, leaving as much distance between us as I could when I passed him.

"Take care, Amagi," I said more out of habit than feeling as I left the room, Kazui close behind me.

I heard Amagi's startled reply, but didn't respond as I kept moving towards the stairs. A cold sweat was sliding down my spine and I could feel the slight tremor that was running through my hands. It didn't make sense that I would react to Amagi like that. But, maybe it wasn't Amagi. He was the first person from the squad that I had seen. Was I just nervous about their reaction to me? That had to be it. The sinking feeling in my stomach had to be nerves. I rested my hand on Tankyu no Unmei's hilt, feeling more at ease when my skin touched the warm metal of her hand guard.

"You alright?" Kazui asked, his voice low so it wouldn't carry.

"Yes," I replied in a clipped tone as I adjusted my shihakusho so it wasn't so tight around my neck. "Just nervous I think."

I didn't let our conversation continue, instead turning into a tour guide and pointing out one of the windows to express that the building beside us was the dining hall. Kazui didn't try to ask me again how I was, instead falling into the casual conversation of my explanations and his questions about the area. I answered all that I could, sometimes getting distracted in telling stories instead of just giving him the basics. He seemed to enjoy it, getting into my stories about Squad 11's destructive behaviors despite the peace that reigned over the Soul Society.

I showed him around the dining facility, the one training area that I hadn't destroyed, the medical wing, and the gardens that were hidden in several spots around our area of operation. I saved the housing barracks for last, getting him set up in the fully furnished room beside my own that had been reserved for the 9th seat. The position had been empty for longer than I had been in the squad, so the room had been left mostly vacant outside of the occasional visitor or drunken squad member. Unlike the occupied rooms, this one was left unlocked so the cleaning detail could tend to it.

"How are things organized around here?" he asked as we left the simple room.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I slid the door closed.

"Why is the 9th seat's room beside your own when you are the 3rd seat? Shouldn't that Amagi guy be here?"

"I'm the only female officer beside Rangiku, but the former 9th seat was a woman. Since the 10th seat and below have private rooms, I guess it was just made so the 4th floor belonged to the female population. We don't have a lot in a squad, so the room's just been vacant ever since," I said with a shrug.

"And you aren't worried about having a man on the floor?" he asked, quirking a brow down at me.

I let out a huff of a laugh and shook my head. "I've never had to worry about my squad. They may be scared of me or whatever, but they aren't brutes like Squad 11."

"That's good to know," he mused.

"By the way," I said slowly as I started walking around the hallway, moving towards the side the faced Rangiku and Toshiro's houses. "Is there a reason that you didn't give Amagi your last name, or is that common for Humans?"

"Ah, you noticed that," he said sheepishly as he followed me. "My last name does one of two things in the Soul Society. Either people avoid me, or fawn over me. I'd just rather to go about being normal while I'm here."

I held in my laugh and jumped over the railing as I transitioned into a flash step, making short work of the distance to Rangiku's house. I slipped into a walking gait once I had made it to the grass and felt Kazui do the same at my side. I hesitated as soon as I heard Ichigo's words, stopping so I could better hear him.

"I'll be staying with Kukaku and Ganju for a while. If something happens that Kazui can't handle, I won't be far," he said as I heard foot steps. He rounded the corner of the house and his eyes found us, making a lopsided smile brighten his face.

"I'm taking off," he said, waving at us just before he vanished. I opened myself to feeling spiritual pressure just so I could track his movement as he flash stepped away. I turned with his movement, feeling him longer than my eyes would have been able to track him if he hadn't been invisible with his movements.

"He's always running off," Kazui said, letting out a sigh.

"Welcome back," Rangiku mused as she rounded the corner.

"Thank you," Kazui said as he stepped up onto the porch to greet her.

I nodded at her and stayed on the grass as I walked around the house. Toshiro was sitting on the edge of the porch, his back resting on one of the pillars with one leg drawn up for his arm to rest on while his other foot rested on the grass. His eyes were gazing out across the lawn, but I knew he was aware of me. Hyorinmaru was laid on the porch at his hip and my guzheng's case was set on the edge of the porch like he had known that was where I would want to string it. He had been right, and it made me smile as I moved toward it.

I set the wires on top of the case and hesitated to open the clasps. I wanted to string it, but…

I left the wires and case behind, deciding that I could string it later and went to him. His attention turned to me with an unspoken question in his eyes that made my drop my gaze as I came up to him. I rested my knee on the porch between his and crawled into his lap as he shifted for me. I curled into him, making myself as small as I could as I pressed my face into his chest, hiding my face in his shihakusho. His arms surrounded me, but I could feel the tension in his body that my silent actions had caused.

"What's wrong?" He asked as his hand ran through the chains of my kanzashi.

I shook my head and curled into him as much as I could. I had held it together at first, almost even forgotten how I had felt in the offices with Kazui's light and cheery mood to distract me. But, it was still there and I couldn't seem to shake off the sense of dread that made my hand itch to grab my zanpakuto.

That all faded away as Toshiro's arms around me tightened and his posture shifted so he could surround me in his body. His chin rested on top of my head as his leg pulled up to press me tighter to him. I felt his spiritual pressure rise ever so slightly as the air around us dropped in temperature. I knew he was doing it for me, and I coaxed myself to relax with the feeling of him holding me so tightly and the sensation of his spiritual pressure lingering in my head.


	6. She Who is Vengeance

"You've never seen the ocean?" Kazui exclaimed.

"I have avoided staying in the World of the Living, but I've seen pictures and video," I explained as I set down my bowl of rice to avoid being rude. "But on the other hand, have you ever seen a Royal Procession?"

"A what?" he asked.

"A Royal Procession," I said again. "Several times a year a procession of Royal Attendants travel across the Soul Society. They do it for various reasons, but watching it is like seeing a dragon of fire slither through the night sky."

"I haven't seen that before," he said.

We were sitting in the dining hall, amusing ourselves as we ate lunch and shared our experiences from our two, very different worlds. Since he had arrived a few days ago, I had been trying my best to act normal by going back to work. Being around the squad was challenging though. Just like when I had first seen Amagi, my days were filled with spikes of dread and fear. I was slowly desensitizing myself, but I didn't know what was going on and I hadn't had much of a chance to talk to Toshiro. He had been so busy arranging the transfers for some of the 8th combat team's remaining members that he was rarely around, and Rangiku had thrown a party every night since Kazui arrived. It made finding privacy difficult.

At least I wasn't worried about myself. With Kazui staying in the room beside my own, I didn't have anything to worry about. After Rangiku's first party, everyone in the squad knew who Kazui was, making it so I had to worry more about the jealous girls in the squad than someone trying to attack me. Jealous girls I could handle, but I actually felt safe in my room. It wasn't as safe as I felt with Toshiro, but it was comforting. I didn't have to check for someone before I entered, or feel the actual need to sleep with my zanpakuto drawn. It made me wish I could take him to work with me, but that wasn't what he was here for. He was here to train, so I made do with sleeping well at night.

"What do you guys do around here for fun?" Kazui asked as he speared his fish with his chopstick.

"Well, that depends on what you're into," I said lightly. "You could be like Rangiku and drink for fun-"

"Besides drinking," he said lightly. "I think I've had enough sake to last me a year."

I couldn't help but laugh at his comment. Rangiku and her parties…

"-or you could venture around the Seireitei and see what there is to offer. There's all sorts of stuff to do, you just have to go out and do it."

"What do you do?"

His question caught me off guard and I hesitated as my mind stopped trying to think of adventures in the Seireitei and drew back to my own interests. "I'm rather boring, I think. I spend most of my time practicing, or since you brought my guzheng, learning how to play it. I'll join Rangiku from time to time, but that's about as eventful as I get."

"Wow, that is boring," he said flatly.

"Told ya," I said with a shrug as I returned to eating.

"You don't ever get the urge to just do something different?" He asked, emphasizing his words with his hands. He instantly made me think of Toshiro and just how much time I had been spending with him, making my cheeks flare up in a blush.

"W-well, sometimes I suppose."

A tray slammed down on the table beside me, making me almost jump clear out of my seat.

"Kazui! I haven't seen you in months!"

The hair on the back of my neck prickled and my body went rigid when I recognized the voice. Squad 11's Lieutenant Madarame... What the hell was Squad 11 doing here? I was going to have more buildings to fix by the end of the day, I could just feel it.

"Ikkaku," Kazui said, his face lighting up with a friendly smile. "I was planning on stopping by next week. It's good to see you."

"What kind of a reply is that?" Lieutenant Madarame half shouted as he slammed his hand down on the table, making our trays and plates rattle with the force.

"It's the truth," Kazui said with a small, easy laugh.

"You should be over with Squad 11, learning how to fight with real men!" Lieutenant Madarame plopped down on the seat beside me and I nervously inched a little away to give him more room.

"I'm practicing with my Hollowfication," Kazui said lightly. "Unless you want to become like the other Visored, our battle would just be a fight and I'm not here to fight for fun."

"You're just like your old man," Yumichika said with a sigh as he set his own tray down beside Kazui and sat. "Always running from a good fight."

"We don't fight for the fun of it," Kazui said as he turned his attention to Squad 11's 3rd seat. "We fight when it means something."

"That's so boring," Lieutenant Madarame complained.

I stayed silent and small as they continued to verbally jab at each other. Rangiku's lovely parties had drawn them to our area, but I hadn't realized that they had stayed over night. It was amazing that they weren't hampered with a hangover when considering how much sake they can gone through the night before. I hadn't been present to see it, but Rangiku's haggard and miserable form this morning had whined about the mess until she fell asleep across the couch in the captain's office while I had been organizing the final stack of late papers. I had left her there, leaving her to either wake up on her own or to be startled by Toshiro when he returned.

"So what are you doing today? Clearly your lazy ass isn't training right now," Lieutenant Madarame asked as he leaned forward, putting his weight on the table.

"Today is my day off, so I was thinking I would explore the Seireitei," Kazui said lightly.

"You train for three days and get a day off? What kind of bull shit is that?"

"Shinji and Kensei had business in the World of the Living, so I could either go with them or spend the day here. I figured I can go back home any time, but actually exploring the Soul Society was something I could only do on a rare occasion," Kazui said with a small shrug as he put his empty bowl down. "So, I was just asking Ria here what sort of fun things there were to do here."

Everyone's eyes turned to me and I went stiff again, feeling like a rabbit caught under the gaze of a predator. I laughed nervously and moved to set my bowl down only to find I had already done so. "I-I was just telling Kazui that I probably wouldn't be the best one to ask for advice like that."

"Aw, give yourself some credit," Amagi's voice came from behind me, startling me as my stomach sank and my skin broke out in a fear induced cold sweat. "Yamamoto knows some of the best places to hang out."

I shoved back my fear filled reaction to him and forced a smile as he sat along the unoccupied side of the table closest to me, setting down a drink he had been carrying. It was just Amagi, I had to tell myself. I was being silly to be so scared of him. He was the most liked guy in the squad and my friend. I was just being stupid and letting my body react to him instead of my head. He wasn't the only one I got like this around, and it didn't always happen. I just had to get over it… get over it. Yeah.

"Oh yeah?" Lieutenant Madarame challenged as his narrowed gaze shifted down to me, "What sort of places would those be?"

I shot Amagi a look that told him he wasn't helping, and straightened my posture before I turned to look at the Lieutenant. "Well, there's the Shabby Cat, the Rock Box, Wrestler Hall, the Flow-"

"Wait!" Yumichika said abruptly, interrupting my list. "You watch sumo?"

I blinked at him like his question was stupid. "Of course. The sport is based off of old rituals that have been passed down in the Ise Clan. I was required to watch and learn, to better understand-"

"Sumo?" Rangiku called out, her voice sounding from across the dining hall. I cringed, realizing that she had heard at least part of our conversation.

"Yeah," Lieutenant Madarame called, turning in his seat so he could find the blonde with his eyes.

"Oh, that sounds like so much fun!" She cheered. The room seemed to quiet from her outburst, but she didn't even notice as her footsteps thudded across the room. She smashed into my back, her arms wrapping around me in a happy hug as she said, "That is such a good idea! Does anyone know if there's a match going on today?"

"I can check the schedule," Yumichika offered as he pulled out his cell phone.

"Is it really okay for you guys to just skip out on work like that?" Kazui asked.

"It won't be a problem," Rangiku mused as she leaned on me and reached down to my plate to snag one of my sausages. "The Captain's out on business, and this sound like the perfect opportunity for team bonding."

"That's not how-" I started to correct her, but she smothered my reply with the sausage she had picked up before reaching for another for herself.

"While the Captain's away, the Lieutenants shall play," she mused as she patted the top of my head and pulled away from my back. I chewed on the sausage as I stewed over her words. She had to know she was just asking to get yelled at.

"If there's a match, we should invite everyone else," Kazui said, aiding in Rangiku's effort to avoid her work.

"That's a great idea! We can show you around the Seireitei afterward too," Amagi offered as he smiled at the orange haired man.

"The semi finals start in an hour," Yumichika declared.

"Let's get going," Rangiku cheered. "We only have an hour to round everyone up."

I resisted the urge to slap a hand over my face. What had I done…?

* * *

Plans were hashed out, invitations made and the long trek to the Wrestling Hall made short by friendly banter, threats of violence and talk of drinking. I had tried to slip away numerous times, but after my fifth attempt Rangiku had latched onto my arm to keep me at her side. I had been completely baffled as to how she was functioning so well until she had pulled me close enough that I could feel the flask she had hidden in her uniform. That made all the sense in the world…

When we finally arrived at the Wrestling Hall we had a small crowd of people in tow. Between Rangiku and Yumichika, they had invited almost all of the other Lieutenants and several other Soul Reapers. I had felt like I was doing something wrong by being dragged along with their fun, but everyone else seemed to be having a great time and it made me relax. The fear I had been feeling earlier had washed away with the busyness of the crowd and slowly I was falling into the upbeat rhythm that seemed to flow through the group. I wasn't sure what to call it, camaraderie maybe, but it was slowly filling my chest with a light and almost joyous air. I wanted to laugh and to join in on the fun, so I let myself.

"When was the last time you went to a match?" Lady Nanao asked, startling me as her arm wrapped around the one that Rangiku wasn't latched onto. I gawked up at her, shocked into silence as thoughts of all the summons letters I had thrown away over the past few weeks surfaced. Her eyes were hidden by the reflection in her glasses so I couldn't gauge her expression, but her words had been light and friendly. Was I in trouble, or not?

"N-Nanao!" I exclaimed. "I didn't realize that you would be here."

"Of course I'm here," she scolded. "I wouldn't miss an opportunity to see my most wanted clan member."

Her voice may have been light, but at that moment she turned just enough so the reflection in her glasses vanished and she unleashed her stern gaze on me. I swallowed hard as a nervous laugh bubbled up.

"Nanao," Rangiku chided as she tugged on my arm, pulling me a little further away from my Clan Leader's grip. "This is supposed to be fun. You can get all serious tomorrow when we aren't trying to enjoy ourselves."

"I wasn't getting serious," Lady Nanao corrected. "I was merely asking Ria when the last time she had been to a match was."

"Oh, just making sure," Rangiku mused as she turned her gaze down to me. "When was the last time? I didn't even know you liked sumo."

"I haven't been in awhile," I admitted. "The last tournament ended two or three months ago, and I haven't had the,time since to look up matchs."

"Well it's about time then," she declared as she dragged me around and out of Lady Nanao's grip, turning so she could look at Lieutenant Kira and Lieutenant Hisagi. She seemed to hesitate for a moment as she looked between the two, but quickly decided on a course of action and directed herself to the small space between them.

"Rangiku?" Lieutenant Hisagi said, startled when Rangiku pressed closely between them, her breasts brushing against his arm.

"I was hoping you boys could help us out," she cooed, her voice becoming sultry and her lips pouty.

"Yeah, sure," Hisagi and Kira said as their eyes traveled down.

"Ria hasn't seen a Sumo Match in years and would be very sad if she missed the first few minutes standing in line," she explained as she pulled me closer and cuddled me against her. I flushed red with embarrassment when I realized that she was using me to help her manipulate them, but my blush must have played right into her hands as they both made sounds of pity.

"Do you like Sumo that much?" Lieutenant Kira asked as his gaze shifted away from Rangiku's voluptuous assets to me.

I couldn't answer, but my ever darkening face must have given him the assurance he sought because he looked up to Rangiku and nodded. "You just want us to stand in line for you?"

"I knew I could count on you!" She cheered as she started to drag me toward the Wrestling Hall's entrance. "Thank you Izuru!"

I cringed as I heard Lieutenant Hisagi say, "you know you just agreed to pay for her, right?"

"What? She just asked about the line!" Lieutenant Kira objected.

"The ticket line, idiot."

I let out a sigh and resigned myself to Rangiku's wiles as she next set her feminine gifts on the guard at the entrance. It was like watching a hypnotist work, but instead of a pocket watch she used her curves, lush lashes and pouty lips to get what she wanted. It was magical to watch, but I knew I never could have pulled it off.

It didn't take Rangiku long to find a section of the hall that would fit our group. It wasn't exactly easy, but with a few smiles and flirtatious gestures she had gotten several men to vacate their seats to move to another area. It truly was like magic, but as we sat down beside each other she smiled and leaned back against the step that separated us from the table behind.

"That was fun," she mused.

"You've had a lot of practice with that sort of thing," I commented.

"They're men, it makes it very easy to distract them," she pointed out.

"They wouldn't be so easily distracted if they weren't interested in you," I pointed out.

"They have been interested for years," she said waving her hand as if to dismiss the thought.

I turned away, but kept looking at her through the corner of my eye. Some emotion had passed over her face as she stared down at the dohyo. I recognized that look all too well. It was the same look that passed over Toshiro's face when he started thinking about the past, about whoever it was that had hurt him. Seeing it on Toshiro's face bothered me, but I could do something about that. Rangiku, on the other hand, I didn't know what was wrong or how to fix it but I did know how to do something. Without making it obvious that I was watching her, I rested my hand over the back of hers and quickly turned my eyes to gaze down at the dohyo.

I knew she was looking at me now, but I didn't say anything as I watched the dohyo's floor be raked into a fluid pattern by one of the attendants. We stayed silent for a long moment and I felt her gaze leave me. Her hand turned under mine and her fingers wrapped around my palm before she said, "you are such a weirdo, grabbing my hand like that. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were into girls or something."

I grinned and lightly squeezed her hand. "Your boobs are too big for my tastes."

She snorted a laugh as she replied, "you're just jealous."

"Hardly," I said, rolling my eyes. "I wouldn't be able to play my guzheng if I had your jugs in my way."

"I bet Toshi-"

"Oh no you don't," I interrupted her as I sent imaginary daggers on her direction with my eyes. "If you go there, I'll tell Lieutenant Madarame about that thing you did when he passed out three months ago."

"You wouldn't," she said, clearly not believing me. I wasn't bluffing. She had told me all about how she had dumped him in Squad 4's girls dressing room and covered him in frilly lingerie before leaving him there to be found in the morning. He had been completely shunned by the female population since, though it had only added to the infamy of Squad 11.

"If you make me, I will," I said defiantly.

We stared each other down, our expressions equally stubborn and our eyes narrowed. I managed to hold it for a good moment before my lip started to quirk up with a grin. Rangiku lost it first though, bursting out with a fit of laughter that carried me along with her.

It wasn't much after that when the others finally joined us, filling in the once empty space that we had cleared for them with bodies and good spirits. I hadn't known just how close the Lieutenants were until I was witness to their prodding jokes and mocking threats. It was like watching a family interacting with one another and I couldn't help but to be carried away in their camaraderie.

They ordered sake and food as the matches began, and I let myself forget my fear of Amagi, of watching my back, and of chasing shadows. I was tense when I was alone, but here I was safe in the presence of my Lieutenant, the head of my clan, the substitute soul reaper I had felt secure enough to sleep near, and almost a dozen others that were just as trustworthy. If there was a better place to let my guard down, it could only have been in Toshiro's arms.

"Oi, pass the calamari."

"You can't even say please? How rude."

"Hey, I wasn't asking you."

"Here."

"About damn time."

"Have you no manners at all?"

"I wasn't talking to you."

"There's no reason to be fighting."

"Hey guys…"

"This isn't a fight. This is a lesson on proper mannerisms."

"Alright, calm down now."

"Tell that to miss stick up her butt over there."

"Ikkaku!"

"Oh shut it."

"The match is about to start…"

"I really don't understand what the problem is here. He just asked for the calamari."

"I didn't like his tone of voice."

"This is how I always sound. Too bad if you don't like it."

I smiled as I took another sip of my sake. They were so rowdy, like a bunch of bickering children. But, it felt good. Sitting quietly in the background, I watched the matches below with a smile on my face. I couldn't hear anything beside their chatter, but thanks to the gestures from the judge I knew what was going on down there.

"Enjoying yourself, Yamamoto?" Amagi's friendly voice asked as he took a seat beside me. I smiled lazily at him, the fake expression coming easily to me with the sake in my system.

"I am," I replied just loud enough for him to hear me.

"This was a good idea," he mused as he set down two unopened bottle of sake and removed my empty one. "I think it's been years since I've seen the Lieutenants hanging out like this."

"I blame Rangiku," I said as I eyed the bottle he had placed in front of me. I had never before questioned his kindness, but for some reason my stomach felt uneasy. "She's a people person. Everyone wants to be around her."

"It was you they started flocking too first," he corrected as he popped his bottle open and began pouring himself a drink.

"I think you are confusing me with Kazui," I said lightly. "Did my hair turn orange when I wasn't looking?"

He laughed and held his cup up as if to toast. Caught off guard, I reached for my own cup only to find it empty. Well shit… I sucked in a breath, steeling myself for whatever had tied my stomach in knots and reached for the bottle. I tried to not look like I was suspicious of the bottle as I gingerly popped off the top and looked inside.

"Its sake," he mused. "It's not going to jump out and bite you."

I didn't acknowledge his comment as I slowly poured some into my cup. It was clear… I didn't know what I had expected, but clear wasn't it.

I was a paranoid fool.

"Sorry," I said, letting out a sheepish laugh as I raised my cup to meet his. "What are we cheering too?"

"Good times," he said as he tapped his cup to mine.

"And Sumo!" Several people around us cheered. I laughed and downed the contents of my cup. That was some good stuff.

The rest of the day progressed into evening and before we knew it, the matches were over and our party was forced to find our way back to Rangiku's place. It had started raining between the time we had entered, so as we walked down the corridors of the Seireitei we were covered in the cool autumn tears. I didn't mind it at all, but Rangiku incessant complaints about her hair echoed off the walls.

"Think of it as a cold shower," Lieutenant Kotetsu said as she patted the taller woman on the shoulder. "Your hair will be fine."

"It's going to frizz!" the blonde whined in reply.

"Shut up about your damn hair," Lieutenant Madarame said gruffly as he pointed at her with the bottle he had taken from the wrestling hall. "No one cares about your damn hair!"

"A little rain can't do anything to my hair," Yumichika boasted as he flicked his hair to the side dramatically, flinging fat drops of water at Lieutenant Hisagi.

"I don't understand how you can be part of squad 11 and still be such a drama queen," he grumbled as he wiped at his face.

"There's no women in Squad 11," Lieutenant Kira pointed out. "So someone has to be their-"

"I am no one's bitch," Yumichika threatened as he popped his zanpakuto partially out of its sheath.

"I was going to say whipping boy, but that's close enough," he replied with a shrug.

"I am not a whipping boy," Yumichika denied as he slid his zanpakuto back and pointed at Kazui. "If anyone here is a whipping boy, it's this guy."

Kazui pointed at himself, his expression saying he was surprised that he had been dragged into their conversation. Unlike the majority of us, he was mostly sober due to his claim that he was training tomorrow. He had stuck to only a drink or two despite Ikkaku and Rangiku's attempts to get him to join in.

"A whipping boy?" He asked. "Have you met me?"

I laughed at their conversation, covering my mouth to quiet myself before I said, "Its true."

"What? No way," Kazui objected as he turned to look down at me. I had been walking beside him, so he didnt have to look far.

"The last time you were here for training, you spent the entire time catering to Ichika's every whim," I pointed out to the group.

"That's because I felt bad," he tried to explain.

"Oh, does Kazui have himself a girl friend?" Rangiku teased as she draped herself over his shoulders.

"What? No way," he denied. "That would be like dating my sister."

"But you don't have a sister," Lieutenant Kotetsu pointed out.

"That's beside the point!"

I stumbled as a fit of giggles overtook me when his blatant denial earned him a chorus of teasing remarks. I caught myself on the wall as my balance failed me, and had to stop as my giggles continued. I had been on the receiving end of those comments before. At the time it had been frustrating, but hearing it happen to someone else was absolutely hilarious.

"You alright?" Amagi asked as I felt his hand rest on my shoulder.

"Yeah-" I said, my voice high from laughing. "I just need a minute to stop giggling."

"Can you stand?" He asked as he gently tugged me away from the wall.

"Of course I can stand," I said stubbornly as I pushed off the wall and stumbled a bit. "I didn't have that much to drink."

"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice changing with his words to a deeper and… not right tone.

"Of course," I said as I started to move to follow the group that was slowly moving away.

"Good, you're the only one left," he mused to himself. "I can't have you dying to someone besides me."

My body froze and my eyes went wide. My senses seemed to hone in on him, blocking out the female teasing and male laughter to favor listening for him. He pressed closer to me as I remained still, frozen like a rabbit in a field.

"Relax, Miss Yamamoto," Amagi crooned into my ear, his hot breath ghosting across my skin. My muscles eased despite the panic that crossed my mind. I moved to step away from him, but his arm caught my waist to hold me where I was.

"A-Amagi," I said his name hesitantly. "They're going to leave us behind if we stop too long."

"It's alright, trust me," he said as he pulled me backwards. "Let them go."

"Why do I want to listen to you?" I asked as I let him pull me into his grip. I didn't want to get closer to him, but something in my head was telling me it was okay. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't seem to help myself.

"I can make you forget things, remember things and feel things. Why wouldn't you want to listen to me. You trust me, right?" He cooed. "It only took one drink and I had you. Just give into it, Miss Yamamoto."

He was stealing my free will with his quiet commands. I didn't know how he was influencing me, but I had to stop it before I couldn't think for myself. My hand went to my zanpakuto and wrapped around her hilt, but before I could draw her, Amagi's hand covered mine. I tried to pull her free, but his grip tightened, grinding my joints together as he held me still.

"Stop fighting," he ordered, his voice becoming harsh and less coaxing. I felt something in my head click and my entire body lost its will to resist him… except my grip on my zanpakuto remained strong and unyielding. I could feel Tankyu no Unmei in the back of my head, and realizing her presence made me understand what was happening.

"Mitsuji," I said aloud as I slowly turned my head to look at him over my shoulder. Sinister grey eyes leered down at me.

"Everything okay, Ria?" Kazui called back to us from the group.

The muted sound of steel sliding against steel hit my ears. He was drawing his zanpakuto. I couldn't just stand here. He had me. If I didn't do something-

"Maebure no Shukufuku, Tankyu no Unmei," I called out as I felt him move, calling on my shikai. I didn't even get the name of my shikai out before my armor slammed into place around me and I felt his zanpakuto grind against the metal of my obi. I turned on him, slamming my arm guard against the side of his head hard enough to make him release my hand.

"Hanayume, fervor!" He took a step back before he lunged at me, the tip of his sword poised to strike my unarmored side. "Regret!"

My thoughts shifted with his words, and instead of parrying his strike with my zanpakuto, I turned into him and leaned to the side so I could reach toward him. I could feel my zanpakuto guiding my movements, helping me to fight off his commanding word and still move. It was my hand that caught Amagi's throat, but it was her influence that guided me to squeeze down, the plates of my hand guard cutting into his flesh. He tried to bring his zanpakuto down on me, but with a simple thought I blocked his swing with flash of golden reishi. He swung again, only for it to be blocked once more as I tightened my grip on his throat.

I didn't want to do this any more. Constantly worrying about myself, watching my back for an unseen enemy, fighting the people who were supposed to be my friends. I was wrong. It was all wrong. It was so wrong that I didn't have any idea how to fix it. If I hadn't become a soul reaper… no, that was the best choice I had ever made. But, if I had abandoned my sister, if I had been more proactive instead of reactive, or if I had done something different.

Staring into Amagi's possessed grey eyes as his free hand scrabbled at my handguard, I realized that he too was because of me. If Hideo Mitsuji had never existed, I wouldn't be in this situation. Amagi wouldn't be like this. If he were truly gone, and I hadn't waited so long to kill him, this whole situation wouldn't exist. Amagi wouldn't be possessed, my sister wouldn't be in Squad 11's hands, Daisuke never would have gotten hurt… if he had never existed, none of these horrible things would have ever happened.

The world around me erupted in golden reishi and hot liquid splashed against my face and armor. The pressure of Amagi's throat in my hands vanished and a weight dropped to the ground before me, leaving me blinking dumbly at the golden bits that lingered in the air. The thick scent of copper choked my nose as I inhaled and I found myself paralyzed with the fear of whatever I had just done.

"Ria," Kazui's concerned voice came from behind me. I couldn't respond as I my heart raced and my breath seemed to catch in my throat with nothing but blood to flood my sense of smell.

"Oh god," Lieutenant Kotetsu exclaimed, her voice sounding a little more distant that Kazui's.

Slowly, I let my gaze fall to look at the ground. What I saw didn't seem to make any sense. There was a pile made of red goo, the color so deep that some of it even looked back. It was almost fleshy in appearance, like seeing fish guts or chicken guts when we prepared them fresh. It didn't look at all like the Soul Reaper I had been staring at just a moment ago.

I had just let go of Amagi… right? He wasn't there on the ground looking up at me. Why wasn't he there? He should have been there.

"Where's Amagi," I asked slowly. "He was... right here. He… he… What is this stuff?"

Silence answered me, forcing me to look harder at the stuff on the ground. With the golden glow of the reishi in the air I could clearly see it, but as I tried to make sense of it I saw metal mixed into the goo. It looked like a blade… Amagi's zanpakuto. I had… I had turned Amagi in this mush… into a pile of formless flesh.

I wanted to scream.

I jerked my hand away from my zanpakuto and stumbled back as the power washed out of me. I ran into someone with the movement, but before they could stop me I lurched and ran. I heard voices calling after me before I slipped into a flash step, but I ignored them as I fled blindly into the rainy night. Someone would come after me, but I just needed to figure out what I had done. I had… no, I couldn't have. I couldn't do that to people. I wasn't even using my mind's eye. I had just called my armor and my power to protect myself, but my mind's eye was always the first thing to kick in. Why hadn't it?

"What was that?" I asked aloud to Tankyu no Unmei.

'The part of myself that I gave you when I fixed our bond,' she answered.

'You gave me the power to rip people apart?' I asked, angry and shocked.

'I gave you the part of me that doesn't require control,' she said, her voice softening. 'I gave you the power to feel, to think, and to react. You are the one who has not used our shikai in days despite my warning to you.'

"What warning?" I half shouted as I stopped and drew her, lifting her blade so I could see her image as my reflection in the steel. Her teal eyes met my own for only a second before she manifested. Her hand wrapped over my hand guard and pressed our sword down, turning the blade to the point at the ground. I looked up at her as if I was demanding answers, but I couldn't see her eyes under the darkness of her mask. It hadn't been there in her reflection, but like she had changed from one second to the next, she stood in a black kimono, the edges of it faded to red. Her mask was like bloodied lace, but where her skin should have been seen through the fabric, only darkness could be seen.

"I told you in the moments after your waking that our shikai would be different, and I have been telling you all along what we are capable of. You just refused to hear it and refused to test your abilities."

"I didn't want to do that to Amagi," I argued back, not listening to her explaination.

"You wanted to rid the world of Hideo Mitsuji," she said, nodding with understand. "He has been just as good as Hideo Mitsuji since that first day he was taken over."

"No! He hasn't been. He has been Amagi this whole time with a damn parasite inside him," I shouted. Her lips quirked down in a small frown and she held still for a moment.

"In every future I have seen, he dies." She finally said as she flicked her wrist faster than I couldn't adjust and relieved my grip of our sword. "He dies by your hand, trying to kill you as Hideo Mitsuji."

"That isn't what I wanted!"

"Isn't it?" She questioned as she flipped our sword around and took hold of its hilt. "If he had never existed, that was your thought. If Hideo Mitsuji had never existed, none of these bad things would have ever happened."

She was right. Those had been my thoughts. I had wanted to kill Mitsuji in that moment, to kill him again and remove his very existence just like I had in the World of the Living. Not Amagi.

"You could have killed him on day one, if he had chosen to remain in control. You could have killed him at the arena, if his influence over you hadn't been so strong. He may have chosen to leave you alone tonight. In the presence of so many of your peers, he only had a small window that he decided to pursue. Or, he could have left you be until he had you alone again. He would have kept coming and coming until he died. In no future was he ever to live."

"Why didn't you say something?" I asked, resigning myself to her words. "I-if I had known I could have-"

"Avoided fate?" She asked pointedly.

"No, I could have done something else. Something that would satisfy the name."

"The names stem from an event. They are not your future, but a clue. A clue you always misinterpret."

I was silent after her comment. She was right about that. I never guessed my future correctly. IT was why I didn't ask her every day for my name any more.

"He could have died many ways, but he chose to try and control you. He intended to leave you unable to defend yourself as he slid his blade into your gut, but due to your close kept secrets about just how our shikai works, he did not know how quickly your shikai can form, nor exactly what you must do to maintain it. If he had chosen another command, perhaps he would have lived through today. Or, perhaps he would have died in an even worse way."

"How could I have stopped myself?"

"She Who is Vengeance, you cannot change your fate."

My hand dropped back to my side as my gaze fell to the grass under foot. I caught sight of my right hand, the hand I had grabbed Amagi's throat with and lifted it so I could see better in the dim light. My skin was covered in red, in Amagi's blood that seemed to be staying just as thick as it had been at first despite the falling rain. I went to wipe it away on my uniform, but no matter how much I got off, my skin was stained. It was under my nails, stuck in the creases of my knuckles and already soaked into my shihakusho. I was covered in it.

"Oh god," I whispered as I realized the entirety of my situation. I had killed Amagi, the 4th seat of my squad. I had killed another Soul Reaper. Not only had I done it on accident, but I had done it in front of a group of people and ran. I would be a fugitive if I didn't go back. They would take Tankyu no Unmei from me and lock me up and-

"No, they won't," my zanpakuto said as she shook her head.

"Its their only course of action. I ran-"

"You killed in self defense and fled to keep from hurting anyone else. There's a difference," she said with a sigh. "Mabure no Shukufuku."

My armor seemed to just appear like it had never gone away as she flipped our sword in her hand and turned so her back was to me. My mind's eye kicked in, overtaking my normal vision and allowing me to see everything despite the darkness.

"Why did my mind's eye work? It wouldn't work before," I said as I shook my head to clear the last bit of information from my mind.

"You had a purpose when you activated our shikai. Like the nails securing the lid, you did not need your mind's eye to execute the purpose." She explained as her arms moved and she posed as if starting a dance. "Our bond should be strong enough for this now, but it may still be painful."

My mind's eye flared and consumed my thoughts with the world around me. This time, I knew what to do with it and I filed it away, stuffing the information down so my mind could keep up with my zanpakuto's actions. I didn't know if she was actually dancing, but in my mind's eye she was twirling our sword around to create elegant arcs of golden light around her as she moved. It was beautiful and terrifying to know what she was doing.

She was going to use our shikai to look into something. She had once said that the power was from our bankai, but this was different. Her moves we more subtle and almost wistful in their dragging motions instead of fluid and full of energy. I didn't know what she was doing, but it wasn't the same.

"Looking into the past is child's play," she said, answering my thoughts as she turned in her dance, kicking the fabric of her kimono behind her in the process.

She slammed our sword into the ground and my mind's eye drained away as the area lit up with golden light and our power shot into the earth. Slowly she stood straight, leaving our sword buried in the ground. I watched her in awed silence as she stepped around the hilt in a sweeping movement. The grass seemed to disperse with her movement, turning into glowing bits of reishi that followed her movements like children to the pied piper. She gestured to the entire area, her arm sweeping out to call it all to her in a wave of light.

She spun and flicked both of her hands out, commanding the reishi to flare up into the sky before cascading back down to the ground. The bits seemed to settle over things that weren't there, creating shapes in the area that slowly became more defined as more reishi settled over them. The office that I shared with Amagi and Ono began to make sense in my head and I found myself looking at a glowing reishi replica of Amagi. There were others in the room, but with only partial images lined in bits of reishi, I couldn't distinguish them from one another. I saw myself running into the room, my hummingbird kanzashi standing out on my reishi dusted form. He lunged at my reishi self, and I realized that this scene had been from almost two months ago when Takeshi Nakai had forced Amagi under Mitsuji's control.

I watched the scene as it unfolded, recalling the memories in my head that reflected the actions being replicated before me. Everything was as I remembered it until I had sealed Amagi inside a box made of reishi. The images skipped forward until after I had woken up. I could tell because the kanzashi had decorated my reishi self was made of three peonies and chains instead of the hummingbird I had worn before.

I was in Rangiku's office, working on the stacks of papers that had grown while she lazed across the couch. Amagi had stopped outside the doorway, a cup in his hands. His form carefully peered around the corner before he started to enter, but he abruptly stopped when Rangiku stretched her arms up. I knew from experience that you couldn't see her when she lying across the couch, and it was clear that Amagi hadn't seen her either as he back pedaled, unnoticed, out the doorway and turned to retreat down the hallway.

The scene shifted to when I had been leaving my room at the barracks. The walls of the building were transparent enough with the bits of reishi that I could see Amagi's form around one of the corners. He started to step towards me, but I took off in a flash step, visually vanishing with my movements as I darted over the railing in a sweep of reishi bits. He stopped with my disappearance, zanpakuto half drawn and his face twisted in a sneer.

The scenes shifted again, giving new meaning to many of the interactions I had with him over the past few weeks. He had been trying to get me alone, but every time I had either left before he could do something or someone had shown up like when Tankyu no Unmei had manifested between us in the offices. The entire time he was trying to kill me and I hadn't known a thing. I had thought my zanpakuto had startled him with her foreign appearance, but he had been been startled for other reasons entirely.

The scene from the arena played by, and as events occurred, my memory seemed to fill in the blanks that had been there. The reishi seemed to condense by my zanpakuto's command, allowing me to see clearer the expressions on his face. He was so foreign to me, like it wasn't even Amagi that I was looking at in the reishi. It was Mitsuji's face on his body.

I reached out to touch the almost solid looking man, but as soon as my hand came in contact with the reishi his image vanished in a flurry of gold. I shied back from the torrent that the reishi had shifted into, watching as the bits seemed to find a place on the ground. Gradually the grass that had been glowing reformed until the ground was a solid golden glow. My zanpakuto was standing near our sword but her attention was focused elsewhere despite the mask that she clearly couldn't see though.

Toshiro stood just beyond the reach of our reiatsu fill grass, Kazui and Ikkaku behind him. His face was hard and I knew he must have come when my spiritual pressure had spiked. His hair was heavy with rain and his clothes soaked, telling me that he had seen the entire replay of events my zanpakuto had created.

I turned away, meaning to hide my expressions from his gaze, but stopped when I saw several people dressed in the Executive Militia's uniform standing between me and any direction that I could have fled. I hadn't intended to run, but seeing them standing there made the thought come to the forefront of my mind. It took all of my willpower to keep myself from turning to flee. If I ran again I would be making myself a criminal. Even if I could outrun them, there was no way I could run from Toshiro.

My zanpakuto abruptly appeared in front of me, startling me. The power of our shikai drained out of me, taking my armor and the glowing light of our reiatsu with it to bask us all in the darkness of night. She brushed my hand out of the way before she returned our sword to its sheath.

"Don't let his final command control you," she murmured as she leaned close to me. "If you do not fight it now, you will never overcome it."

She vanished with those final words, and like her presence had been holding it off, the sky's tears began to fall on me once more. I shivered with the cold drops and shrank in on myself, wrapping my arms around my waist. The loss of my shikai had left me shaking and weak, but I forced myself to become still, leaving only a small tremor to course through my body.

I felt Toshiro spiritual pressure before he stopped just behind me, so close that I could feel the cooled air that resulted from his raised spiritual pressure. He had to be angry, and with what I had done I couldn't blame him. I felt his hand gently trace down my back, startling me enough that I jumped. I didn't know what I had expected, but his hand slid down to my waist and pressed between my arm and side.

"I'll stain your haori. I'm covered in-in stuff," I stuttered as I moved to step away from his touch, but stopped when I remember the Executive Militia that were surrounding us.

He followed me closely, not allowing me to get further than his reach with his longer stride. He caught me in his embrace, one arm sliding under mine to hold my waist while his other covered my arms and pinned me to him. He leaned down and pressed his cheek to my hair, leaving his mouth near my ear as he asked, "are you hurt?"

I barely shook my head as I answered just loud enough for him to hear, "no, none of this is mine."

He let out a soft sigh and squeezed me hard enough to force my breath out. "That's good."

"I'm sorry," I said in a small voice. "I didn't mean to. He just… he was manipulating my emotions. I was losing my free will, and I… I killed him."

"He would have killed you," he murmured. "I wasn't even suspecting him. He had been cleared by Captain Kurotsuchi, so I let myself be blind to the possibility. It was my oversight that put you in this situation."

"I did it though," I said as my throat tightened with a held back sob. "I killed him. I did-"

"No," he interrupted me. I could hear his teeth grinding next to my ear as he growled, "if what your zanpakuto showed us was the entire truth, he has been hunting you for weeks. I didn't know, and he stalked you down, waiting for his opportunity... for weeks."

"She doesn't lie," I whispered. "I didn't see it either, but watching and putting the scenes to what I remembered, it's right. The arena came back to me, our interactions in the office, everything."

"I should have seen it," he said gruffly. "I knew it was a squad member. I should have done more. This isn't your fault. You may have dealt the blow, but I should have been there to do it for you."

I nodded and lifted my gaze to look at the black clad stealth force. Despite his soothing words, I knew what was going to happen. They were here for me. I was going to have to go into confinement until the Central 46 passed judgement. I-I didn't want to, but it was law.

"They aren't going to take you. I got to you first," he whispered, drawing me out of my thoughts. He must have felt my reply coming because before I could open my mouth he added, "you are my squad member. It is my purview to see to your detainment after an adverse event. Sui Feng knows this."

He stood straighter as the Squad 2 Captain emerged from her flash step before us. The rain had barely touched her until she stopped, leaving her hair and uniform looking almost pristine. I dropped my gaze to the floor and turned my head to partially hide in the sleeve of Toshiro's shihakusho.

"Captain Hitsugaya," she addressed him as she stepped closer and stopped close enough to carry on a quiet conversation.

"Captain Sui Feng," he replied as I felt him nod at her.

"Am I correct in assuming you know the situation?" She asked.

"Kurosaki and Lieutenant Madarame explained what happened and I've seen the history of the situation," he replied.

"Seen the history?" She asked.

Toshiro briefly detailed what my zanpakuto had shown us, leaving her to let out a sigh when he was done.

"So this is related to that incident," she said as she shifted, her posture becoming less rigid.

"Yes," he confirmed.

"She will still need to surrender her zanpakuto until a formal investigation can take place," she said just loud enough for us to hear.

"I will take care of the formal proceedings," he said with a nod.

They were silent for a long moment and I knew they were exchanging some sort of look. I shrank further under the weight of the silence and realized that I had started shaking again.

Captain Sui Feng let out a rough sigh and turned away from us. "The Head Captain will be the judge of this situation. Killing just one possessed Soul Reaper isn't worth the time of the Central 46, especially when considering the history of the situation that started a thousand years ago. Squad 2 and the stealth force cannot serve as a neutral party in this recent development due to our involvement in the situation, so we will withdraw."

"Neutral Party?" Kazui asked as he stepped up beside Toshiro.

"This does not involve you, Kurosaki." Captain Sui Feng glanced over to him before her gaze wandered over the executive militia that surrounded us. "But, my opinion of the matter isn't conducive to this situation. If it were me, I would have killed him. But, Ria Yamamoto isn't capable of making that call as a ranking member below Lieutenant, and has therefore broken the law."

"I will take care of it," Toshiro said.

"I trust that you will, Captain Hitsugaya," she said before she slipped away in a flash step, closely followed by the executive militia.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Kazui asked, not bothering to even wait for the air to settle from their departure.

"No," Toshiro replied. "Thank you though, for looking after her in my absence."

"It wasn't a problem, but I wish I had done more," Kazui replied before he turned around.

I heard the soft words that passed between Kazui and Ikkaku before they both seemed to vanish from the area, leaving Toshiro and I alone. Knowing it was just the two of us, I stopped trying to hide in his sleeve and let myself relax just a little. The shaking that my zanpakuto's show had caused made my knees buckle, but with Toshiro's arms still wrapped so tightly around me I didn't have to worry about falling. He,must have noticed because I felt his grip shift just before he knelt and swept my legs out from under me, catching me in his arms.

I didn't protest his movements, instead finding purchase in his shihakusho and turning into him to hide my face from the rain. He transitioned into a flash step and I covered my kanzashi with my hand to keep it from falling out with his the force of his movement. I couldn't stop my mind from running through what I had done, the sight of what I had turned Amagi into. I couldn't seem to unsee the pile of flesh, Amagi's zanpakuto stuck in the middle of it.

I startled a little when Toshiro's hand covered mine, pulling my hand down from where I was still covering my kanzashi. I blinked up at him, surprised to find myself sitting on the floor of his bathroom. I hadn't noticed him setting me down or moving to kneel in front of me, but as I met his aquamarine eyes, I realized that I had lost myself in my thoughts.

His tense gaze softened when he realized that I was actually looking him and he murmured, "you're getting shocky on me."

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I didn't realize it."

He took my hands and brought them together in front of me, holding them between his hands. With the light in the room I could see the discoloration that remained on my skin from the blood, but it only covered my palm and inner arm. My arm guard had kept most of it from touching my skin. I started to turn my gaze further down myself, but Toshiro caught my attention when he pulled my hands towards him. He kissed my knuckles, not caring that my one hand was stained as he moved from one to the next.

"We need to get you out of that shihakusho," he said gently. I nodded pulled my hands back so I could untie my sash. Tankyu no Unmei's sash easily came undone unlike the sash that held my uniform closed, my fingers having seemingly gone dumb because I couldn't get the knot untied and gave up with a frustrated sigh.

"It's okay," he cooed as his hands found my stubborn sash. He didn't bother trying to untie it, instead setting his grip on the band away from the knot. He tore the fabric with sheer strength, jerking my body with the force.

He helped me slip out of my shihakusho, taking over certain tasks that just frustrated me when I couldn't do them. I felt like an idiot even though I knew it was partially due to the energy drain from my zanpakuto's display of the past. I was thankful to find that Amagi's blood hadn't soaked through more than the first layer of my uniform, leaving my skin mostly clear. It made washing away the taint of his blood minimal and less stressful. I hadn't ever worried about getting blood out from under my nails and quickly became angered when I couldn't make it go away, but Toshiro knew exactly what to do, stepping in when my movements became stiff with irritation.

Toshiro stripped off his top and helped me wash the rest of the way when I couldn't seem to do it myself. It was frustrating, but my hands didn't want to listen to me. They felt fat and stupid, and I knew it was just from shock. All I could seem to think about was the way it had felt. The hot splatter of fluids, the sudden relief of pressure on my fingers when the reishi exploded, the clicking sensation in my head when he had tried to control me…

Lips pressed against my own and I knew it was Toshiro. I kissed him back tentatively as my eyes slid closed. He let out a soft, chilled sigh and with his lips brushing mine he said, "come back to me."

"His last command was regret," I explained. "I can't seem to get him out of my head. The pile of flesh I turned him into didn't make sense at first, but the moment that I actually saw and understood it, that image is burned into my mind."

"Some things you will never forget," he murmured. "You can let it change you, and end up like I had, or you can move on and keep it as exactly what it is: a memory."

I opened my eyes and gazed into his that were only inches away. I had told myself that I would never ask him what happened, but looking into his tender aquamarine stare, I wanted to. I wanted to ask so badly that it temporarily overwhelmed the gory images running through my head.

"Wh-" I opened my mouth to ask and stopped myself mid word.

"What happened?" He finished for me.

"I'm sorry, it's not my place to ask," I said.

"Not your place?" He asked, clearly confused by my choice of words.

I dropped his gaze as a blush flushed across my cheeks. "Your past is your past. It doesn't change the way I feel, and I figured if you needed to tell me, you would."

"Ria." The way he said my name made me meet his eyes once more with curiosity. His hands closed over my cheeks, cradling my head in his palms as he ran a caressing thumb across my skin. "If you want to know, ask."

"It's not my place," I said, shaking my head slightly

"If it's not your place, then whose is it?" He asked.

"I-I don't know," I admitted. He let out an almost laughing sigh and the angered tension I had been feeling in him since he found me seemed to drain away. He kissed me, leaning forward and pushing me all way back until I was lying on the cool tile floor with him above me.

"I'm going to make you forget about everything tonight," he crooned as his hands trailed down my body. "If I hear one word about Kyoruni or Mitsuji, I won't let you go until dawn."

"Toshiro, this isn't-" he silenced me with a kiss that dominated my mouth, stealing my words away.

"If now isn't the time, then when is?" he asked gently.

I tried to formulate an answer for him, but my mouth just opened and closed wordlessly. He must have known that I didn't have an answer for him because he let his weight press me into the tiles, his lower body pinning mine.

"Let me comfort you, tend to your emotional wounds before they become scars," he said, the susseration of his voice pulling at things low in my body.

"I-I'm all shocky and shaking," I mumbled hesitantly. "I won't be any good."

"I said comfort, not mind blowing sex," he said, grinning.

I flushed red at the bluntness of his words. "With the way you say it, I don't understand the difference."

He let out a slow sigh than fogged the air with it's chill as it traced along my skin. "I'll show you."


	7. She Who Listens

 

The rain from last night had continued into the morning, drenching the land and dropping the temperatures so much that it was clear that winter would be coming early this year. The temperature didn't even bother Toshiro as he sat on the porch in his short sleeved yukata, the collar of it left partially open to expose a long line of skin down to his sash. I had borrowed one of his longer sleeved yukatas, but even with the extra fabric and the fact that I was swimming in it, it had still been too cold for me. To remedy that, I had claimed a blanket from his closet and draped it over my shoulders so it wouldn't be between us when I snuggled against him.

He had laughed at me when I came outside like that, but I didn't let his amusement stop me from crawling into his lap and straddling his hips so I could press as close as possible to him. His hands slipped under the yukata to slide along the outside of my thighs, massaging upwards until they settled just under the curve of my butt. I wiggled closer to him until the entire front of my body was pressed to his and tucked my face into the side of his neck. I didn't understand how, but even with the cold air his skin was like fire against mine.

"Thank you for last night," I murmured.

"You needed it," he replied, kissing my forehead.

"I need to learn how to do that for you," I mused with a small, sighing laugh. I didn't know how he did it, but he coaxed me into explaining everything that had happened. It took time, but he never let me get lost in my thoughts. At first I couldn't even talk about Amagi without getting emotional, but every time I began babbling he would stop me with his mouth and hands, utterly drawing my thoughts back to him and him alone until I was able to calm down.

"You already do more than enough for me." His hands slid higher until he was cupping my lower back. Compared to me, his touch was warm as he teased small circles into my skin that made me shiver with delight.

"It doesn't feel that way sometimes. You are always the one coming to my rescue, or cleaning up after the mess I've made," I admitted.

"You don't make messes," he chided. I had to disagree considering what I had done last night. I had come to terms with my actions, for the most part. Because of my zanpakuto, I knew that I would have killed him one day - whether or not I had been practicing with my shikai - but I had done it in one of the most horrible ways possible.

"If that wasn't a mess, then what would you call it?" I asked. "Amagi was my friend, and just because he was possessed I freaked out and killed him."

"Ria," his tone was a warning, and I knew that I was diving back into what I had already worked out in my head. "Let it go or you'll never get over it."

I frowned and bit down on my bottom lip as I tried to push the thoughts back. I hadn't realized how hard of a time I had organizing my thoughts without the presence of my zanpakuto. Before I woke this morning, Toshiro had taken Tankyu no Unmei to the Squad 1 arms room. I knew it was going to happen, so when I did wake I wasn't surprised. But, I was reminded all too clearly of the desire to be near her and the melancholy that resulted from that separation. He had kept me thoroughly distracted up until now, but my thoughts were always trying to run away from me.

"I just don't understand how my killing someone isn't as big of a deal as I feel like it is," I said with a sigh.

"It is a big deal," he said. His hands slid from behind me and he gently coaxed me to lean back so he could see my face. "What would have happened if you hadn't stopped him?"

"He would have tried to kill me," I said in a small voice.

"He wasn't trying, he would have," he corrected me. My zanpakuto hadn't replayed the scene from last night when I had killed Amagi, but I had described what happened a dozen times over the course of the night. He knew that if I hadn't called my armor when I did, my obi wouldn't have been there to stop his blade from cutting clean through me. There was a still darkening bruise on my side from where his sword had ran into the fabric-like armor of my obi. I hadn't felt it until Toshiro had pointed it out.

"I know, but I could have done something else. Sealed him in a box or something," I said despite knowing that my words were just me making excuses.

"He had influence over you before you activated your shikai," he said, explaining what I already knew. "If you hadn't called on your zanpakuto for aid, you wouldn't have gotten out of his hold. It was her presence that took over, breaking his grip and putting you in control of the situation. What did your zanpakuto say that your shikai would do?"

I held his gaze for a long, silent moment as I thought over her words. "Fulfill a purpose, but I still don't know what that even means."

"What was your purpose?"

"To protect myself," I said slowly. He didn't say anything in reply to my words, and I knew he was giving me the time to come to terms with it. Again. "I just feel guilty."

"You doubt yourself too much, but is it you or his last command? Are you regretting your actions, or his?"

I dropped his gaze to stare at his chest as I mulled over his question. He hadn't asked me that before, and I hadn't even considered it. Did I regret my actions, or that I was forced to take them? Unsure of what my answer would be, I leaned back into him and hid my face in his shoulder. He understood my lack of response for what it was and pulled the blanket tighter around me before circling me in his arms.

We stayed like that for a long while, listening to the rain as it continued to patter just beyond our reach. When we got quite like this, it usually stayed that way until we had a reason to part. This time though, I could feel his fingers tapping lightly on the blanket like he was contemplating something.

"I grew up in District 1 of West Rukon with my grandmother," he said abruptly as his finger stopped tapping. "I was shunned as a child because of my hair and eyes. It made making friends difficult and life hard for my grandmother. But, there was one person who wasn't bothered by my appearance. She lived with us and we spent a fair amount of our childhood together."

My eyes widened with his words and it took every ounce of restraint to not lean back so I could look at him as he continued.

"She must have thought I was the rudest little boy at the time, but despite that we were what you would call best friends. She looked after me when she could despite my own urge to want to protect her. It was only a few years later that she went and joined the Spiritual Arts Academy, leaving me and my grandmother behind."

"Despite the change, she would come back and visit from time to time, and I grew to treasure those times with her. I didn't understand it at the time but I think that is when I first decided that she was someone that I truly cared for - more than just a friend."

"When Rangiku found me and convinced me to become a Soul Reaper, I almost jumped at the opportunity. I graduated the academy in record time, a child prodigy as they called it, and transferred into Squad 10 after a few years as the 3rd seat. It was only three or four years after that when Captain Shiba disappeared and I was promoted to captain."

"I had maintained a friendly relationship with her ever since I became a Soul Reaper. I was still young and for all the strategic planning and problem solving I was capable of, I couldn't seem to figure her out. So, I kept my distance and swore that I would look out for her when I could. I wasn't her Captain, but I had the power to protect her, the girl who had looked out for me when I couldn't."

He paused for a moment, relieving the moment of its tense atmosphere. He had never spoken so much about himself at one time to me. I found it amazing and almost scary to know that he was sharing so much and I didn't know why. He had shared some details of his past, but they were always vague or in reference to something I already knew. But, this was all new to me. This was a piece of him that I never knew about and had been dying to ask.

"Everything was going so well until Aizen began enacting his plot."

I felt him stiffen just a little with the name he had said. I understood why, but his reaction had me shifting so I could look up just enough to see his hardened glare focused on a spot beyond my back. His skin grew chilled against mine as his spiritual pressure rose with his emotions, making me shiver despite the blanket.

"He manipulated her, warped her mind into worshipping him like he was a damned god. He used her to control me, convincing her that I had been the mastermind behind his plotting and making her blame me for his death."

He must have noticed his reaction to his own words because he swallowed his spirit energy, almost instantly making his body grow warm once more. He let his head fall back to rest on the pillar at his back and let out an almost frustrated sigh.

I waited one long moment for him to say more, but when nothing fell from his mouth I sat back just enough so I could shift and rise up on my knees. The blanket slid off my shoulders as I rose high enough so that I was able to look down on him. His eyes were closed, but the tension in his jaw told me he was fighting with himself. I didn't know what about, but I wanted to help if I could. I reached up, barely tracing the pads of my fingers along his cheek and up to his temple where I brushed his snowy hair back from his face.

"You don't have to hide from me," I gently reminded him. "I accept you and your past, whatever it is."

"You don't even know what I did," he said, his voice rumbling in his chest. His eyes slid open, revealing his almost luminescent aquamarine eyes as they appeared to glow with his suppressed spirit energy. "You shouldn't say things like that until you do."

"Then tell me," I crooned as I leaned into him, resting my forearm on his shoulder so I could keep my hand in his hair. "And stop suppressing yourself. Bottling yourself up like that can't possibly be helpful."

"If I do that, you'll freeze," he pointed out as his hands trailed up the front of my borrowed yukata and idly pulled the collar further closed.

My words hesitated for a moment, but I shook my head. "I-I'll be fine. I've had your spirit energy inside me before. I can take it."

His brow rose with the start of an amused expression. "You think so?"

"I know so," I said with false confidence.

"I almost killed her, Ria."

His words were so blunt that I thought I misheard him at first. I even started to smile, thinking that I must have misunderstood him. His expression didn't change though, and I knew I had heard him correctly.

"How?" I asked, my voice almost a whisper.

"During our battle, I struck a blow that was intended to kill Aizen. I sank Hyorinmaru clear to the hilt in his back and forced ice into his body. Knowing it was my one chance to finally kill him, I put everything I had into that blow."

"Kyoka Tsuigetsu's ability was complete hypnosis," I said slowly. He gave a small nod and his hand gently tugged my collar open just enough to expose a small triangle of skin. He followed his finger with his eyes as he pressed it to my sternum and trailed downwards, parting the fabric of the yukata as he dragged it between my breasts and stopped over my diaphragm.

"On his body, I had ran him through his mid back, but her," his words paused as his finger trailed back up to stop between my breast. "On her I had pierced straight through her chest. I should have killed her - the blow was more than enough to have taken her life. I lost myself to the rage when I should have tried to keep her alive. I left her, only to be cut down like a raging fool."

He went quiet again as his eyes became lost to memory. I stayed still, letting him mull over whatever he was seeing in his head as I tried to wrap my mind around his words. In his head, she had been someone he had to protect and he had been the reason she almost died. I didn't see it that way, but for him to have so thoroughly convinced himself of that being true, she must have thought that way as well. It explained so much about him and the way he treated me. He was afraid of breaking me like he had her.

I swallowed hard as I understood that this situation was what Ichigo and Rangiku had been referring to. This person, this precursor event, was what had caused him to harden his heart. He was finally opening up to me, finally letting his inner demons rise to the surface and this was my one chance to expel them. I needed to hear more, to understand what had happened, so I prompted him to continue.

"She couldn't get over it."

"No. She couldn't when the scar of my blow was forever marred into her skin, in her body. She was held, much like your sister is, in Squad 12 where they kept her alive until her body could finally heal the damage. She spent almost an entire year recovering from just what I had done to her. An entire year of sitting there, wondering why I had done that to her."

His head rested back against the pillar, his eyes remaining trained on his finger as he caressed a scar that only he could see. "I waited for her for years to overcome the events that transpired that day before I finally approached her. I thought I had waited long enough that her feelings from that time would have no effect on us. She was happy, almost elated that I had finally approached her. It began our relationship that would last only a few months."

"I tricked myself into believing that she was all that I could ever want. I had been with other women before her, but they hadn't been what I was looking for. I had thought she was the one I had been wanting, waiting for my entire life. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn't think anything of the way she shied back or grew stiff at my touch. I had thought that she was reserved or waiting for the right moment by the way she spoke. Maybe she hadn't realized how she felt at that time, because it was so easy to talk, to become closer. It was the only logical explanation I could come up with after it all ended."

"I didn't understand at the time, maybe she couldn't admit it either, but she was afraid of me. No - terrified is probably a better word. She was terrified that I would hurt her again. She didn't tell me until her bottled up emotions boiled over and she lost it. I hadn't seen it until then, but she showed me her scar. Even to this day I'm sure she would be able to recall what it had felt like to have Hyorinmaru rammed through her chest, like she was still trapped in that day so many years ago. I had traumatized her to the point that just being in my presence with my spiritual pressure raised would throw her back into the memory, and I had been too much of a fool to not recognize it until she utterly rejected me and cast me from any possible future with her."

We were greeted by silence once more, but this time it was tense with his admission. Even the rain seemed to have started falling harder, filling the quiet with white noise. My body had grown hot during his tale with the anger I felt towards whomever it was that had rejected him. How selfish could she have been? Did she even know his side of the story? The pain he had felt for her?

"It wasn't your fault," I said, my words a conviction as I wrapped my hand around his and lifted it away from the spot on my chest that his eyes were boring into. "If she couldn't see that, then it's her fault for not being able let it go."

"It's not her fault," he said, shaking his head. "I'm the one that hurt her. I'm the one who-"

"You aren't the only one," I said over him, interrupting his words. "I may not have been there, but I know the stories and I remember feeling their spiritual pressure when they entered the Soul Society. Ichigo is the only one who wasn't under complete hypnosis. Every Captain and Lieutenant of the 13 Court Guard Squads from the last three hundred years was under his power. You were no exception."

His eyes slowly lifted from my chest and the hardened stare I had known him by for years met my gaze. I was taken aback by that intimidating stare. I hadn't seen it turned my way in almost two months and I hadn't expected to be greeted with it when I was so close to him. "Could you have forgiven me if I had done that to you?"

"You're blaming yourself when you did nothing wrong," I said softly.

"Aren't you doing the same thing?" He asked. I hesitated, not understanding him.

"What?" I asked.

His gaze softened, losing the threatening edge it had held. His free hand slid up from my leg to rest on the curve of my waist as he leaned forward, bringing the front of his body to press to mine and our eyes on an equal level. "Aren't you blaming yourself when Mitsuji is the root cause?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. I tried again only to come up with the same results. I hadn't even thought to compare my situation with his story until that moment. It was startling to see the similarities, but I couldn't seem to form a response in words.

"I blamed myself for the next fifteen years. I was the one who ruined any chance I had at happiness. I was the one who had destroyed the heart of the one person I thought I could be happy with and I deserved to be miserable because of it. I couldn't let myself do it again to anyone. Rangiku was too stubborn to leave me alone, but I managed to distance myself from any else I could care about enough to hurt. I stayed like that, finding my motivations dulled and my anger hot towards those around me."

"It wasn't until your first turning point that I even allowed myself to deviate from my solitude. I hadn't realized it until Rukia pointed it out, but I had broken out of my own head for just a moment, just enough to concern myself with your safety and wellbeing."

"It took me a few days to figure out why you were different from any other squad member. I hadn't paid any attention to you - not like that - since you joined, so why was I now? You were a Yamamoto, that alone distinguished you from the rest, but that had nothing to do with how I had reacted to you. You were stiff, reserved, unyielding and almost anti-social. If you weren't constantly doing Rangiku's paperwork, I may have never known more than your name and your zanpakuto."

"But you were, and I did. I knew you were being targeted for some reason. I suspected it had something to do with your name, but I needed to know more in order to protect you as my squad member. But, you became more than just a responsibility when you reached out and made me look, really look, at you. For all the pride of your name and attitude, the silent plea for help that spoke through your eyes struck me. Of all the people that look could have been for, it was for a man, who had so utterly failed another, that he had given up on ever trying again."

His hand slid from mine to join his other as his arms wrapped around my body, holding me tightly to him. "I had been performing a duty until that moment, when you became the motivation I had lacked for years. I dove into figuring out the cause behind the incident in the World of the Living, but the festival happened before I could get anywhere and I realized that you didn't need me like I planned. You needed me to be there, to hold you as you trembled and cried, to help you overcome your own terrors like I had failed to do so many years ago."

"Our interactions grew from there. I could see it in your eyes that you were relying on me to help you, to protect you. I didn't see the attachment that you felt until you allowed me to pull you back from your memories in the dojo, to replace the horrors that you'd seen with my kiss, my touch. I had reacted on impluse though, not realizing what I had done. I kissed you without your permission, forced you to accept my touch. I was no better than the man I had killed to save you."

"I thought I had scared you away. You were so stiff, borderline frightened, but I couldn't tell if it was me or the memories that haunted you. So, I withdrew. I pulled myself back, afraid to break what I had just damaged. I didn't know you well enough to see inside your head. You were a mystery to me; a mystery I was growing desperate to solve."

"Then you did the unthinkable. You laid yourself wide open, expressed your close kept feelings and ran." He let out a soft laugh and a small, almost childish smile turned his lips. "You ran from me, not because you were scared, but because you thought I had rejected you. Of all the things you could have thought, that was something I would have never expected, not after our words earlier that morning. I was shocked, stunned into silence for the longest moment of my life. You, the most proper and prude person I had met in ages, didn't just need me. You wanted  _me_ , of all people, to mean something to you."

My eyes had grown watery with tears that I was struggling to keep from falling as he spoke. I had no idea how much he had been hurting, nor what I had done to crack the walls around his heart. He never spoke about his past. Never. And now it was such a look inside him that I couldn't say anything. Even as he cupped my head in his hands and drew me closer to press a kiss to my lips, I found myself still unable to respond. He tilted his head forward, pressing his nose and forehead to mine and I closed my eyes. His breath eased across my skin in a chilled wave as I felt his spiritual pressure ease out from the suppressed hold he had on it. It made me shiver to feel the air around us drop several degrees, but I didn't dare break the moment by reaching for the blanket pooled around my knees. Instead, I slid my hands under the collar of his yukata so I could run my hands along the bare skin of his chest and feel the heat of his body.

"I chased you down and made you finally say my name instead of Captain like I had been hearing fall from your beautiful lips for years. Hearing my name was like fire igniting my heart. I had never heard something so precious in my life, and I had to drink you down. The taste of you, the feeling of your lithe body in my arms, and the scent of your perfume were like a drug I suddenly had to have."

"I couldn't let you go after that. I needed you just as much, if not more, than you needed me. You were,  _are_ , the reason I can feel again. Without you I am anger, solitude and longing. You are the reason life matters once more, and I won't let you become lost in your past like I did, blaming yourself for something that wasn't your fault. You mean too much to me for me to allow you to do that to yourself," he murmured as his thumb stroked across my cheek.

"You don't blame yourself anymore?" I asked, finally finding words.

"Not since you made me realize what I was doing."

"I did?"

"Watching you struggle with your sister and the guilt of killing Mitsuji, seeing the blame that you were laying on yourself, made me see what I was doing."

I let myself slide down so I was sitting in his lap again and opened my eyes. The tears I had been trying to hold back had fallen when I closed my eyes, explaining why he had been stroking his thumb across my cheek. I went to wipe away the remains of the cooling trails and his hands moved to allow it. He pulled the blanket that I had let drop back up and draped it over my shoulders.

"You're starting to turn pink from the cold," he pointed out as he pulled it tight around me.

"It doesn't bother me," I mumbled as I sniffled away the tear induced tingle in my nose. "I find the feeling of your spirit energy comforting."

"The feeling and the frostbite are two very different things." He coaxed my hair out from under the blanket, pulling it over my shoulder so he could run his fingers through it. He liked it when my hair wasn't tied back in a chignon. I think it was because I only let it down for him, while everyone else only got to see my hair up. It was part of his possessive nature.

"I don't mind," I said as I lifted my gaze to watch his eyes as they followed the movement of his hand.

"You look like you want to ask something," he said, his eyes meeting mine for a moment before returning to my hair.

"I understand if you don't want to tell me. But… who was she?" I asked, my voice soft.

"Momo… Hinamori." Her name came out like it hurt him to say it and I instantly felt bad for asking. I had been pretty sure that I already knew, but hearing it from him eased the uncertainly I had been feeling. She was the one Ichigo had mentioned back in the World of the Living. It made sense, she had been and still was the Squad 6 Lieutenant, Aizen's former squad. I knew from conversations with her and Rangiku that she had married Harunobu Ogido roughly 15 years ago, which would have put their marriage shortly after what had happened between her and Toshiro.

I covered the back of his hand with my own and pressed my fingers down, urging him to let me slide mine between his. He spread his fingers wide and I slid mine between his as much as I could before he squeezed down, capturing mine in his grip. He brought the back of my hand to his lips, but I steered it away and leaned in to find his mouth with mine instead.

"I can see it in your eyes that despite everything, the memory still hurts," I said softly as I pulled back just enough to speak. "It may or may not mean much, but it will take a lot more than that to rid of me. I've been frightened, scared, stabbed, broken, and have experienced some of the worst events that I think I can imagine possible in the last few months, and I'm still here. I've even felt your spiritual pressure when it was so strong that I was out of my mind with fear, but I'm still here. You can't get rid of me unless you tell me to go, Toshiro Hitsugaya, because I love you."

"Captain Hitsugaya," a very male voice said, startling me into jerking out back. Toshiro's hand still holding mine kept me from pulling away as I turned to see a member of the Inner Court Troop kneeling beside the porch. Toshiro didn't appear at all surprised by the messenger's appearance as he took his time turning his head to gaze down at the interloper.

"What is it?" He asked, his voice assuming the dark and terminally irritated tone that he had always used.

"The Head Captain requests your presence," the man said quickly.

"Understood, you may go," Toshiro replied, waving him off.

"Your 3rd seat's presence is requested as well, Captain," the man continued. Toshiro waved him off again, and he vanished with a flash step.

I stared at the spot the man had been, watching the grass as it slowly returned to its shape from before the man had arrived. I wasn't surprised that I hadn't felt his presence, the stealth force were supposed to be like that, but having been caught in such a compromising position was embarrassing.

"You're nervous," Toshiro pointed out, drawing my attention back to him.

"Yes," I said with a small nod. "I have never been required to see the Head Captain in an official capacity. I've known it was coming, but that doesn't make the situation feel any better."

"I cannot speak as to what his decision will be, but I do know what kind of person he is," he cooed as he took my other hand in his and pulled it between us. He kissed my knuckles before he said, "let's go see what Shunsui has decided."


	8. She Who Listens, Part 2

 

Waiting outside the Head Captain's office was like being put in time out. I felt like a child going to see the headmistress at school because I had pulled another girl's hair. I knew my transgression was far more grave, but with Nanao staring me down, it sure felt that way.

"What were you thinking?" She asked, filling the hall with her shrill tone. I cringed at the sound and resisted the urge to shrink back from her. It had been a long time since she had released her pent up rage in my direction. I started to reply, but she cut me off, "Don't speak!"

I tried to not give her a startled rabbit look, but I couldn't help it. She was terrifying when she wanted to be. Her usually collected expression was made angry by the fierceness in her violet eyes and the hard frown that turned down her mouth. Even her hair appeared sharper in its angles, her bangs pulled pointedly off to one side leaving her raven hair to part over her left eye while the rest was pulled back into the clip she always wore.

"Do you have any idea what sort of stunts I've had to pull to keep the elders from calling you back to the clan? It's a miracle that they haven't sent someone down there to fetch you. If you weren't the 3rd seat of your squad I think they would have revoked your release of responsibilities and ordered you back to the Clan weeks ago." I hadn't seen Nanao fume in years, but watching her animated expressions and exaggerated gestures reminded me all too well of when I had been a child.

"I swear, if you don't come back to the clan for at least five minutes they will send Misa after you again. I can't stop them from doing it either! I may be the head of the clan, but to them you are acting like a rebellious child and I can't convince them otherwise." She let out a short, huffing sigh and propped her fists on her hips. "I swear Ria, if you've just come back to the clan, then I can put their worries to rest for good. Bring Captain Hitsugaya if you must. Just come back, explain yourself, and go about your way. That's all they want."

"Explain what about myself?" I asked stubbornly, her words igniting my anger. "Explain how I got my sister, who is carrying the only heir to the clan as of this moment, dragged into the mess I made? Do you think that's really a conversation I want to have with them?"

She lifted her brow, a puzzled look crossing over her features. "Did you even read the summons?"

I hesitated, my next words getting caught in my throat. "No… I didn't."

"I swear," she mumbled as she pushed her glasses higher up on her nose. "When did you become so irresponsible?"

I let out a defeated sigh and turned so I wasn't facing her, allowing me to hide my face from her view as I looked further away. "I understand that I have responsibilities as a member of the Ise Clan, but with everything that has been happening lately, I've chosen to take refuge in someone instead of falling back into the rhythm of the clan."

"You mean Captain Hitsugaya, don't you?" She asked gently.

I nodded without looking back at her.

I heard her footsteps rush towards me just before paper slapped down on top of my head. I flinched and turned, giving Nanao a startled stare that was interrupted as the paper in her hand came down on my head once more. It didn't hurt, but the loud slapping sound was thoroughly jarring.

I shrank under the blow as she smacked me again and again, all the while releasing her pent up rant, "I swear, your age clearly shows. Didn't the ladies at the Kyoraku Palace teach you better respect? Manners? Attention to Duty? I would have thought better of them! Why in Kami's name would Captain Hitsugaya allow you to shrike your responsibilities so thoroughly?"

She sucked in a sharp breath as the blows hesitated, a thought popping into her head that completely interrupted her rant. "You didn't even tell him, did you?"

"No," I said in a small voice.

The exasperated sigh she let out signaled the end of my paper beating as she took a few steps back and let her backside rest on railing that lined one side of the hallway. "Why?"

"Clan business is my business. We've been trying to keep our relationship quiet, so having him involved in my duties would counter that notion."

"Everyone knows," she pointed out, making me pale. "There really is no point in hiding it any more. The Elders know, and want you to explain your relationship with the Squad 10 Captain in full detail."

I turned my gaze on her, meeting her violet eyes. "They aren't questioning my actions when Mio-"

"No," she quickly said, stopping me from elaborating. She held out the paper she had been beating me with, offering for me to take it. "Read the summons, then tell me when the Elders will be seeing you and I in the meeting chambers."

I eyed the letter in her hands, my attention focusing on the Ise Clan seal stamped into the surface. How many summons letters like that one had I thrown away? Five? Ten? It had been almost one a week since I had woken up, if not more. Thinking back, it had been the cowardly thing to do; ignoring those summons letters without even opening one up to read it. I hadn't wanted to deal with it if it was about Mio. But, if it wasn't about her, I could deal with it.

I took the letter from her with a resigned slouch of my shoulders and brought it to where I could hold the paper in both hands. The seal of the Ise Clan looked pretty bland compared to some of the other clan's seals, but when someone put it into context the image made perfect sense. A single black ink diamond made the center of the seal, while along the inside of its edges text was scrawled in a language so old that only a few people knew how to read it. As a member of the clan, I had been taught when I was young how to discern the words but I didn't have to read it to know it described the holy power that the clan possessed, more specifically the holy power that Lady Nanao's Zanpakuto possessed. The ability to disperse the power of a god.

I let out a sigh as I slid my finger under the seal to break it and unfolded the paper. Perhaps I had been putting this off for too long, but as my eyes scanned over the letter, I read it aloud, "Yamamoto Ria, It has come to the attention of the clan that you have recently engaged with another member of the Gotei 13 in a courtship that presents concern. You are hereby ordered to present yourself before the elder council to detail your status and intended outcome."

I let out a long sigh as my eyes scanned over the rest of the paragraph that detailed their expectations before I gave up and looked to Lady Nanao. "They want me to explain my relationship with Captain Hitsugaya? They're throwing a fit because of that?"

"Keep reading," Lady Nanao said, her voice dull like she knew I would say what I had. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I turned my gaze back down to the letter. I flipped the rest of the letter open, revealing the second paragraph I had yet to decipher.

"They want me to take over Mio's responsibilities to the clan until she recovers," I mumbled.

"Yes," she said smoothly.

"All of them?" I asked, turning my eye to her.

"Of course not," she said, dismissing my question with a wave. She pushed away from the railing and strode over to me. Stopping only an arm's distance away she reached out and rested her hand over my upper arm. "That would require you to live at the manor full time and to give up your duties as a Soul Reaper. They would never expect that of you, not when I released you from your responsibilities to the clan so you could pursue the same path that I did."

"I-I can't do it. Going to the manor for this is one thing, but being required to perform my sister's duties? I can't- I can't do it."

"Ria, they aren't asking you to take your sister's place. They just want you to become more involved, more in tune with your duties."

"Outside of rituals and celebrations, I haven't had to be involved in their tasks for eighteen years. Now that she's been gone for even a short time, they are calling me back. How is that not taking her place?"

"It's either you or Daisuke," she said, her tone placating.

My surefire argument died in my mouth at the mention of Mio's husband. I hadn't thought about him. He only recently had recovered enough to resume his responsibilities to the Kyoraku family. Taking over Mio's duties as well was out of the question for him. Not to mention how tormented he must have been over her predicament. He was one of the reasons I didn't want to return to the clan, but I was being selfish and stupid. I was letting my own head overwhelm my responsibilities… I was becoming too lax.

"You're right, Lady Nanao," I said as my body drew back into my proper posture. "I'm sorry for having been so resistant. Mio is my sister. It is my duty to fill the gap that her absence has caused."

"Ria, I didn't mean it like that," she said, clearly not happy with my reaction.

"No, you're right. It is my duty. Assuming I am cleared of guilt in this matter, I'll report to the elders once I have my zanpakuto back. I'll assume whatever duties there are that you need me to tend to." I took a few steps back and quickly bowed as I trained my face to be pleasantly blank. I needed to remember what I was. Being with Toshiro allowed me to be myself and to slip away from the restrained, duty bound woman I had been for decades.

"Ria," Nanao said, trying to pacify my reaction. She started trying to smooth over the conversation, but as she started talking I felt a strange tingling sensation creep up the back of my neck and lost my focus on her words as I tried to figure out what it was.

'You are too far away, Herald.' My zanpakuto's voice was distant, the volume of her sultry vibrato not much more than a whisper in my mind.

My eyes flicked to the door to the head captain's office that stood only ten feet away. Was she in there? I couldn't feel her, but her voice in my head…

Ignoring Nanao's protest to my lack of focus, her words passed me by unheard as I moved towards the door. Was she inside? I would have felt her had we been so close. She should have been in their arms room, but I didn't know where that was. Was that room close? Was that why I could hear her?

'Closer, Herald.'

'What is going on?' I asked her as I pressed my palm to the door before me and leaned my weight into the wood. The door pushed open and I moved through it, leaving Lady Nanao to call after me.

I had expected to find myself in the Head Captain's office, but instead of a room I found another hallway that lead deeper into the Squad 1 building. I didn't let the surprise scenery slow me down though. I had never been here before, but the further I went the more I felt the tingling on the back of my neck intensify. My eyes trained on the door at the other end of the hallway and I knew that was where I had to go.

'There,' she cooed, her voice a seductive purr. I felt our shikai light up in my mind before my spiritual pressure rose at her beckoning call. I picked up my pace as my sleeve vanished and I felt my armor materialize around me, one plate forming at a time. What the hell was she doing? Activating our shikai without me there was something she had never done before. Was that why she was calling me?

I hit the door with my shoulder, but it didn't give like I expected it to. Instead the heavy wood seemed to push back, making me turn my forming shoulder pauldron into the surface so I could put the weight of my body against the weight of the door. I changed my stance, spreading my feet apart for maximum traction. What the hell were these doors made of?

"Herald," my zanpakuto called out aloud as I slipped through the crack in the double doors that I had forced apart. I only had a second to take in the sight of Uncle Shunsui, Captain Sui-Feng and Lady Rukia turning to look at me before my mind's eye took over and I felt a drain on my body stronger than anything I had felt since Yokokuhen had left my hand. The surprise of it took the strength from my legs and I felt them give before I could catch myself.

Arms wrapped around me from behind, catching me just before I slammed into the ground, and lowered me gently until I was sitting on my heels. I knew it was Toshiro just from the closeness of his touch, how he had caught my waist instead of my arms, and the feeling of his spiritual pressure slicking across my skin. He must have felt me coming to not have been near the desk like everyone else. I hadn't even seen him when I came barging in.

I let out a long, draining sigh as I felt Tankyu no Unmei pull at my spirit energy and my mind's eye dispersed with our power as it slid into the ground. She was going to do what she had last night, but this time her pull didn't stop there. Instead of pulling the reishi from the walls and floors, my armor dissolved and with it more reishi formed around me creating a golden haze around Toshiro and I. She was using my spirit energy to create reishi, but I didn't understand why. She had never pulled this much reishi from my reiatsu, and the strain of her pull made me light headed and almost nauseous.

"Are you alright? I didn't expect you to collapse like that," Toshiro asked, his voice quiet and full of concern as he shifted, pulling me deeper into his embrace. I watched with half lidded eyes as the golden haze around us drifted away as if on a current of wind and coated every surface of the room in gold.

"Looking into the past like this is what made me weak and shaky last night," I said quietly enough that only he would hear me. "Why is she doing this?"

"It was my suggestion. To explain something is one matter, to show someone - like she did me last night - is an entirely different and more effective experience," Toshiro said. I slowly tilted my head to look up at him and met those aquamarine eyes of his. His brows knotted when he saw my face and his hand traced the edge of my jaw. "I didn't realize that asking that would do this to you."

'I'll return what I have taken when I am done,' my zanpakuto murmured in my head. I would have rolled my eyes if I didn't think it would make me sick. 'You handled Shika no Shiryoku so well yesterday, I didn't think it would hit you this hard today. I would have warned you if I did.'

'Miss something in your predictions?' I asked. I had intended for it to come out teasing, but my words had a bite to them that reflected my irritation with her.

'I was worried about the results of this event, not how you got through it,' she snipped back.

"Sounds like her not to say something," I grumbled, ignoring her words as I turned my gaze back to watch her as she danced around the room, guiding the reishi much like she had the night before. The scenes she had shown before played, depicting the same events from last night. I watched everything again like I was seeing it for the first time until I recognized the corridor from when I had killed Amagi. I turned away at that point, finding my shaking hands far more interesting than the display before everyone. Toshiro's hand rested over my hair, gently pressing the side of my face into his chest. I took his gesture as an invitation and turned further, partially hiding my face in his haori. I knew he had to be watching the scene unfold, but seeing it in my head as a memory was more than enough for me.

'Hiding from your past is childish, Herald,' her voice echoed through my head. I frowned and silently disagreed with her. I wasn't hiding, I was avoiding it.

"Wow," Uncle Shunsui said, breaking the silence that my zanpakuto's display had caused. "That sure was something."

"That wasn't the entirety of this situation's history, but I believe showing any more would cause my Herald distress beyond what she is capable of handling at this time," Tankyu no Unmei said as her geta clicked across the floor. I heard the sound of a metal sliding against metal and recognized it as her sliding her sword back into its sheath. Our shikai dropped like a light being turned off and I let my weight rest against Toshiro even more with the relief of it. I didn't care that we were being so familiar with each other in front of other people. I was too tired to care.

"Your herald? That's an odd phrase for a zanpakuto to be using," Shunsui commented, his tone sounding amused. I could already hear the spiel that would result because of it in my head.

"I am Tankyu no Unmei, the Seeker of Fate and she is my Herald," she explained, phrasing everything exactly how I knew she would. I felt her come closer to Toshiro and I just before her fingers trailed over my arm, touching skin where my sleeve should have been and leaving a tingling trail where she had touched me. I withdrew my face from where I had hid in Toshiro's haori and wearily looked up at her.

I hadn't had the attention span to really look at her before, but as I met her teal gaze I took in the mask that only she could have ever worn. Silver strips of tempered metal artfully decorated her cheekbones and jawline in elegant sweeping angles that made her face look more prominent than I knew it was. Her forehead was adorned with silver dust that morphed into more plates that bent at her hairline and melded with her locks, weaving with her hair until it vanished into the shimada that artfully displayed her long, raven black hair. Her lashes were painted with silver, making her eyes seem to glow with the refracting light in the room.

Her red lips parted, distracting me from taking in the rest of her outfit as words flowed from her mouth. "You still have so much growing to do Herald. We must work on correcting your weaknesses before they come."

"What are you talking about?" I grumbled.

"You'll see," she replied smoothly as she knelt and reached for me. Her hand brushed across my forehead and I felt part of the energy she had taken from me return in a soothing wave. I let my eyes slide closed and leaned into her touch, searching for more contact than her fingertips could grant. I heard her soft chuckle as she obliged my silent request and cupped the side of my head in her palm. I knew from when she had been repairing our bond that more contact with her meant a more effective interaction between us.

'You are going to be fine,' she cooed.

'I didn't know you could do that, using our shikai so far from me and pulling at my spirit energy like that,' I thought back at her.

'I can do a lot of things you aren't aware of yet,' she replied. 'But distance is a limiter. You are like wood to my oxygen. Our fire can only burn so long and so brightly when we are apart, if at all.'

I let silence settle comfortably between us as I basked in her radiating touch. Her spiritual pressure felt a lot like my own, but where I was normally unaware of my own output, she was soft steady against my mind. If I hadn't been so acutely aware of the Captains in the room, I would have let myself completely relax into Toshiro's grip around me. As it was, I stayed tense in his arms while my zanpakuto worked to return the energy she had taken.

"With such a detailed display, it's hard to question the validity of the events displayed," Uncle Shunsui commented. "It doesn't explain everything, but it does answer most of the questions that the Central 46 could have."

"She shouldn't need to be tried by them," Captain Sui-Feng interjected. "Your word in this matter will suffice as judgement. The execution order was issued for Mitsuji and those under the influence of his zanpakuto. Kyoruni's death, although preventable, was still justified under that previous ruling."

"You're correct, Sui-Feng, and as Head Captain I will enforce that ruling, but the Central 46 may disagree. Ria was most likely not aware of that ruling at the time of his death, and they may find that grounds to overrule my decision."

"She was informed in the World of the Living by Toshiro, before she dealt the final blow to Mitsuji," she said, her voice sounding factual and concise.

"So there's no need to worry about that," he said more to himself than in response to Rukia.

"There is still the possibility that he could have been freed like the other Soul Reapers. That she didn't even try to subdue him before resorting to a death blow will make them second guess your decision," Captain Sui-Feng pointed out.

"She tried when he attacked her in the arena, which reflected in her reactions to him during their following interactions," Rukia pointed out. "She may not have known what happened, but her body and her shikai, her zanpakuto, reacted accordingly. Her actions may have been hasty, but she was being influenced by his zanpakuto. She didn't have a choice."

"There were almost a dozen people present, and most of them our Lieutenants. She could have retreated and allowed them to handle the situation," Captain Sui-Feng countered.

"Would you have let someone else deal with a problem that was yours?"

I turned away from my zanpakuto's touch so I could looked up at Toshiro, and felt her manifestation vanish before I opened my eyes. He was watching the exchange between the other captains, his eyes keen on whoever was speaking. I watched him for a long moment as I tried to puzzle out their conversation. I had interrupted and knew I wasn't supposed to be included in their discussion. They were captains and I was just a 3rd seat. I shouldn't have even been in here yet, but with my zanpakuto's little show, I didn't have much of a choice. She had called me, and they hadn't kicked me out, so maybe it was okay that I was here.

"They are ensuring the Central 46 can't overturn the Head Captain's decision," Toshiro murmured as his eyes flicked down to me.

"His decision?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. The way their conversation was going, I had an idea, but…

"Did you really think he would force you into the Maggots Den for this?" He asked, an amused upturn at the corner of his mouth the only sign of joking in his expression.

"I-I don't know," I replied hesitantly. "I didn't want to get my hopes up."

He turned to look fully down at me instead of just his eyes and his hand gripped my waist in a comforting squeeze. "Nanao and you are probably the two people who mean something to him. Your sister, yes, but you were just a child when he took you under his protection. That means more to someone like him."

"What are you two whispering about?" Uncle Shunsui called, making us aware of just how much attention we had drawn to ourselves.

Toshiro's eyes flicked over to him and back down to me. "Are you good?"

I nodded, "I'm fine."

He lifted a brow in accusation, but before he could accuse me of reverting to my default word I corrected myself, "I'm alright."

He let out a short huff of a laugh and stood from his kneeling position that had surrounded me in him. He moved slow enough that he could help me get to my own feet. Even though I didn't need his help, I didn't argue as I rose with his arms around me. Tankyu no Unmei hadn't given me back all that she took, but I wasn't shaking. That was always a good sign.

I let my gaze trail over to the desk that occupied the other side of the room, turning the area into an oversized and mostly empty office. I knew it was meant to comfortably hold all the Captains at one time, but with the large solid wood pillars lining the room, lack of furniture and only a few people present, it just seemed like a wasted space. It had made an excellent venue for my zanpakuto's display though, which explained why she hadn't pulled the reishi from the room. She could have easily fixed anything she pulled the reishi from, but it probably would have displeased someone to see the half eaten looking surfaces that would have resulted from her pull.

I turned my attention on Uncle Shunsui and was greeted by kind, cobalt eyes. His always looked that way, open and kind. Anyone else might have said they were deceptive eyes, but I knew how smart he was from games of backgammon we would play together when I was younger or when he would tell stories. He was a smooth talker, but even the way he would explain a situation was genius and cunning. There was a reason that he was selected as the next head captain. But, without seeing those eyes of his, I doubted anyone would see what kind of a man he was. The kimono he always wore over his shoulders was hanging from a stand behind his chair, allowing his captain's haori to be the primary fabric of his outfit. His curly brown hair was pulled back into its usual ponytail, leaving his angular face completely exposed.

Toshiro stepped away from my back and moved around me. His hand trailed down my bare arm until distance parted his fingers with my skin, drawing attention to my missing sleeve as he walked towards the the other captains. I watched his back as he moved to stand beside Lady Rukia, dwarfing her size with his presence. He glanced back at me, and I realized that I had allowed myself to freeze up. I mentally shook myself and started towards the people on the other side of the room.

"My apologies, Uncle Shunsui," I said as I approached the desk, aiming to put myself in the gap between Captain Sui-Fend and Lady Rukia. I hesitated when my eyes crossed over my zanpakuto lying across his desk, her sash still bound to her hilt. Had she even made it into their arms room? I pushed the thought aside as I took down to one knee and knelt like was proper with my eyes focused on the floor, even knowing he would correct me. "My zanpakuto caught me off guard. She likes to do things on her own sometimes."

"So we've noticed," Captain Sui-Feng commented, the sarcastic disapproval clear in her voice.

"What she did was enlightening," Shunsui commented. "Get up, Ria."

I rose in one fluid movement and gave him a small, sheepish smile as I clasped my hands nervously behind me. He returned my small smile but dropped it as he asked, "was what she showed us the truth as you know it?"

"Yes," I said with a small nod. "I never noticed several of scenes that she depicted, but the ones that I knew, I realized were true. My zanpakuto doesn't lie though. She's good at withholding information when she wants to, but there's no reason for her to do that right now."

"Did you intend to kill him?"

I swallowed hard but held his gaze as I said, "No. His last command to me was regret. Now that I remember our engagement in the arena, I know that command had stopped me from attacking before. He probably thought that I would react the same, but my thought process was different this time. Instead of regretting attacking him, my thoughts turned to how I regretted Mitsuji's involvement in my life and what it had done to the people around me. I wanted to remove Mitsuji, and the part of me, the part of my zanpakuto, that was in control of our shikai translated that as removing Amagi, or as much of him as we could. Other than my sister, he was the last one still being controlled by the soul candies."

"Had we been trying harder," my zanpakuto interjected as she manifested. Her arms were already wrapped around me, one around my waist and the other over my shoulder and her metal covered cheek pressed to my temple. I knew it was her geta that made her so much taller than me, but suddenly dwarfed by her embrace, I felt like her crutch rather that her wielder. "There wouldn't have been any remains to find. He was growing weak from the parasite inside him, the soul candy. Unlike Mitsuji, we could have consumed him entirely in our reiatsu without the use of my Herald's Spear, Yokokuhen, but my Herald is still learning to wield the power I gave her. It makes her weaker than she could be, but still effective."

The temptation to turn and send her a daggered glare was so strong that if I had been in anyone else's presence, I would have done it. We had worked together so well lately that I had let myself forget how she could get when she was dissatisfied with me. It made me unprepared to fend off her suggestion of my incompetence.

'Relax,' she cooed in my mind. 'This is a hurdle you do not have to jump. Someone already removed it from your path.'

'What?'

'Do you really think that the man who has been acting as a silent guardian would allow you to be imprisoned for something easily justified?' Her arms tightened around me in a possessive squeeze. 'Sometimes you are so dense.'

Shunsui let out a humming sigh and started tapping his fingers on his desk. "That wasn't even as strong as you could have been."

"No," my zanpakuto said in reply.

"You aren't even trying to suppress your spiritual pressure, are you?" He asked, his gaze flicking between my zanpakuto and I.

"I never learned how," I said quietly.

That made him laugh. The sound of his deep chuckle eased the knot of worry that had settled in my chest. No matter my zanpakuto's assurances or Toshiro's ease of movement, I had still been worried that I was going to the maggot's den. Hearing him laugh, I knew I wasn't going into confinement.

"You figured out how to repair walls, buildings, create armor and walls that take a Danku to break, use kido, shunpo, kaido and on top of it all how to turn people into reishi, but you haven't figured out how to suppress your spiritual pressure?" He asked, clearly baffled by my many and few talents.

"I don't know how to use kaido," I corrected him.

"That's even better!" He cheered before slipping back into chuckles. "What have you been teaching her, Toshiro?"

"Helping her to work with, and not against, her zanpakuto," he replied smoothly.

Shunsui let out an amused sigh and shook his head. He let his hand fall back and covered his face with his hand. "If only Old Man Yama was here to see this."

"That will only make them question her stability in the matter," Captain Sui-Feng said, steering the conversation back into seriousness. I subtly glanced at her from the corner of my eye, taking in her appearance that I hadn't been able to do before. Her hair was shorter than I remembered, the black locks only coming down just past her ears… or they appeared that way. As she turned her head to look at Shunsui I saw the tight bun she had pulled the majority of her hair back into, leaving only the shorter locks to frame her face. I turned my head just a little to take in the rest of her, but I noticed her sharp grey eyes flick to me. My zanpakuto chose to vanish at that moment, giving me a reason to shift with the loss of her weight. I could imagine her quiet laughter in my head even though I didn't actually hear it.

"She hasn't even been a Soul Reaper for twenty years yet," Rukia said. "It takes time to learn control to that degree, and being the only descendant of the former Head Captain to present power like his, it's no wonder that she is capable of things beyond her current skill level."

"An argument like that will just make them want to limit her like they did Kenpachi," Captain Sui-Feng said with a shake of her head.

"That tactic wouldn't work," Toshiro interjected. "She isn't strong enough to make them feel threatened, not yet. Zaraki was already a presence that terrified them when they ordered the former Head Captain to cease training."

"The Central 46 are a cowardly bunch," Shunsui said, interrupting whatever Sui-Feng had been preparing to say. "They're afraid of another Aizen coming to murder them all, even if they don't admit it. Ria isn't a threat like that. Losing control would be their concern, considering her zanpakuto's abilities."

"Ria," Rukia started to say, turning to look at me. I met her mauve gaze as I turned my head partially to look at her as well. "When did your zanpakuto give you this other ability?"

The way she had phrased her question, I knew my zanpakuto had been talking to them for a while before I entered the room. "When she fixed our bond, during my fight with Amagi in the arena."

"Why did she give it to you?" She asked.

"I was stripped of my control in the arena, from the commands that Am-, eh, Mitsuji had given me. She said she gave the part of her that didn't require control." I turned my gaze down to my zanpakuto where she was laid across the desk and frowned as I forced myself to think back. "Fear had been his command that stripped me of control. I was so out of my mind with terror that I couldn't think through my actions like I normally do. It was all reaction and thought instead of careful manipulation and order, which was reflected when I activated my shikai last night."

"You've only had this power for a few days?" Rukia asked, surprised.

"About a week," I said, nodding.

"How many times have you used it since then?"

"Three times. Once in the arena when I first gained the power, once when I didn't realize it to remove nails from a shipping container, and last night," I replied in a quiet tone.

"So it's not just in high stress situations that it happens," Shunsui mused as he leaned forward.

"Its an ability, part of my shikai, I think. My zanpakuto is rather displeased with me because I haven't tried to learn how to use it yet," I explained.

"Why haven't you?" Sui-Feng asked.

"I had been recovering from the wounds that I received in the arena, and with the squad already thinking that I had lost control, I didn't want to give them a reason to distrust me even more if I actually did lose it."

Silence engulfed the room then. I didn't know what they were all thinking, but they all seemed to be on the same page by the way that they had gone quiet all at once.

"I think we have a valid argument if they decide to try and push back against my decision," Shunsui finally said, breaking the silence. "I don't think there is any more homework I can do on the matter. Thank you all for your help."

Sui-Feng turned with his words and I listened to her footsteps for a moment until they vanished, assumingly in a flash step. Rukia turned next, but instead of just leaving she patted my shoulder with her hand, making me look up to see her reassuring smile before she continued moving away. I turned to watch her back as she headed for the door until she vanished around the frame. That had to have been a good sign, right?

"Relax Ria," Shunsui said, his voice commanding my attention as I turned back around. "As far as I am concerned, you are not guilty in this matter. Yes, you killed him, but you had no choice in the situation. The conversation you were just part of was to ensure that the Central 46 would have no grounds to appeal my decision, which they most likely won't do. But, they are a group of cowardly people who would rather see to their own safety and upholding of the law, than bother worrying about what is fair to the members of the 13 Court Guard Squads. The only way to win against their often prejudiced thoughts is to have a good argument and valid reasoning, which I believe I have."

"Are you saying that because of who I am, or because that's the proper decision?" I asked. I had to know. My zanpakuto had justified everything based off my relationship to him, but that wasn't enough for me.

"You sure do ask the hard questions sometimes, don't you?" He mused.

"I'd rather know what the real verdict would be rather than the one based off bias," I admitted quietly.

"It would be the same answer if you were someone else." Shunsui smiled and stood, his chard sliding noisily across the ground with his force of movement. He picked up Tankyu no Unmei from the table and shifted her in his hand until he held her out to me, her hilt pointing in my direction as he continued, "I can't promise I would have expedited the decision or gone through the process of plotting with other Captains to ensure that my decision couldn't be overruled though, if you hadn't been who you are."

I hesitantly reached out and wrapped my hand around the hilt of my zanpakuto, gripping her so she wouldn't pull free from her sheath if he let go. "So, you really believe that I didn't commit a crime?"

"It was warranted. That you are a Yamamoto just means the potential for greater violence is there, despite your defensive personality," he said as he released my zanpakuto, letting me take her weight as he dropped his hand back to his side.

I slowly pulled her into my body, holding her with both hands in front of me. I let my eyes run over her hand guard as I felt her familiar presence slide back into the emptiness it was meant to fill in my head. I let out a slow sigh before I gripped her tightly and turned my gaze back up to meet Shunsui's.

"Thank you," I said despite knowing it wasn't warranted.

"The investigation isn't complete yet," he said, ignoring my quick words. "Make sure you aren't seen away from Toshiro until it is. I can't imagine that would be much of a problem for you two, knowing your current status."

The grin that lit his face made me blush and I ducked my head in a quick nod. He waved me away and I turned with Toshiro beside me. The quick glance I caught of his expression was pleased, but it was only for a second before I had to turn my attention to where I was going. I almost couldn't believe the conversation I had just been privy to. I wasn't going to be locked up. Toshiro hadn't thought so and neither had my zanpakuto, but I had been so worried. I really was a fool sometimes.


	9. While the Heralds Away...

Yesterday had passed by quickly once Toshiro and I had returned to his home. With the investigation still pending I couldn't be seen alone, so I had spent the evening on his back porch attempting to figure out how to play my guzheng while he had tended to finishing the transfers of the 8th combat team. I understood why he was seeing to the transfers himself, but Rangiku or I could have taken care of it just as easily. It was tormenting him to deal with the situation day after day, but thankfully last night had been to finalize the paperwork with Captain Iba and Captain Hirako. It had taken him almost till midnight to return, but the weariness in his eyes hadn't seemed to ease with the finished task. I had always thought that my dreams were plagued with nightmares, but when something was truly bothering him, he just didn't sleep.

I had spent as much of the night as I could curled against him, trying to distract him from his thoughts. I knew he was silently stewing as I talked, but I didn't let it bother me as I explained my clan. After the conversation with Nanao I felt obligated to expose that part of my life to him when before I had chosen to ignore it myself. I told him stories from when I was growing up, quietly laughed as I recounted some of the tales Shunsui had regaled to me, and depicted how I had once seen my life progressing. I had been so busy reminiscing about my days in the Kyoraku Palace that I hadn't gotten around to telling him about the summons letter like I had intended to, instead finding that I had fallen asleep mid sentence when I woke to the soft light of dawn.

Curled up in his embrace I hadn't wanted to get up, but when I glanced over at him I found him still asleep. It had been the first time I had woken before him, because normally he was up well before me like magic, but remembering how he had been the night before I could only imagine that it had taken him a long time to fall asleep. I left him to continue sleeping, knowing that if I stayed I would only end up waking him.

I had discovered my zanpakuto lying on the floor beside the futon and found my way to the back porch where my guzheng and koto sat against the outer wall. I had ignored them knowing my fingers would get too cold trying to pluck strings, and instead favored sitting on the edge of the porch with my zanpakuto laid across my lap. It wasn't quite as cold as the night before, making is so I could hide my hands mostly in my sleeves and not shiver. I hadn't really spoken to my zanpakuto since seeing the head captain. I knew what she would want, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for it.

"We don't have much time."

Of course she would manifest as soon as I started thinking about her.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"If you would just think for a moment, you would know what's coming," she said. Metal jingled and I knew she had moved without looking at her.

"You are the seeker, not me," I said aloud as I looked over to her.

I hadn't seen her in her real finery for weeks, but today she had outdone herself. The majority of the kimono was black, but through the fabric cranes danced in the sky in splashes of vibrant blues and shocking reds. Through her bright red obi, symbols that I had never seen before were painted into the fabric, shining gold against the starkness of the color. Her mask was more painted on her skin than a mask, the golden strands sitting so delicately on her cheeks and brow that they looked like they should have broken when she spoke. It was the most I had seen of her face, a phrase that was becoming far more common as her masks seemed to be part of her skin instead of separate. Her lashes looked like they had been painted with gold instead of mascara, matching her lips and the curves of her ears. Her hair was pulled back into a shimada that looked like it weighed more than her head with all the golden ornaments that were pinned into it. She jingled like a dozen tiny bells whenever she shifted, but she was careful to keep completely still unless she intended to move.

I knew her appearance was tied to my names, but I hadn't asked her what sort of name would warrant an outfit that looked like it belonged on a princess. Maybe I should have asked, but I was enjoying watching the early morning light as it refracted off the ornaments in her hair, casting multicolored patterns of light across the floor and walls that were still darkened with the long shadows of morning.

"You don't need to see the future to figure it out," she said with a small sigh. "Just clear your mind, use our shikai to lay your thoughts in order."

"My thoughts are too messy for you?" I asked, quirking a brow at her.

"Have you listened to yourself lately?" She mused as her teal gaze flicked to me for a brief moment then turned to gaze out at the pond. "You're like a gibbering fool. The past is over. You need to start looking to the future, to the events that I cannot see."

I rolled my eyes and let my hand rest over her sheath. "You never try to influence me to do things. Why now?"

"Because my meddling will not change your name. It is inevitable today, the only thing that changes is how you get there."

I eyed her for a moment, trying to decipher her words. "How I get there, do you mean how I get around to activating our shikai?"

"Yes and no. Your shikai is not a location."

"So I have to get somewhere and be using my shikai at some point while I'm there," I said aloud as I turned my gaze on the pond.

"In a sense. I doubt you'll figure it out though. You have never looked to the future, but you need to start. The future is everything."

"I am not you," I mumbled. "You are the Seeker of Fate. I just get dragged along with whatever name you give me that day."

She snorted and slid off the porch to stand on the grass. Her kimono settled around her like it had been carried by a strong wind, showing just how much longer the fabric was then she was tall. She strode over to me and stopped with her kimono touching my feet and spun to face me. "You aren't supposed to be able to divine your fate, Herald. I am telling you to think about the future instead of the past that you like to wallow in so much. I need you to see what I cannot."

"I'm not stupid," I said as I sat back so I could look up at her. "But, looking ahead is something I've never been good at. I don't plan and plot. I react."

"And that is why you find yourself in situations like two nights ago. If you had thought about it, you never would have been caught off guard."

"How could I have predicted that?" I snipped at her.

"You ignored the signs that were all around you. If you had even tried to figure out why you felt such fear, you would have been prepared for when he chose to attack you."

"I never would have suspected him," I argued back.

"As you are now, no, you wouldn't have. That is why I want you to change. If there was time I would break our bond just so I could bring us closer, but there isn't time and I need you to be stronger."

"Break our bond? What is happening?" I asked, suddenly realizing the direction she had been steering the conversation.

Her lips quirked up in a small grin and she leaned down to me, stopping when her nose was only inches from mine. "There are gaps in your future. We need to ensure that those gaps don't result in your death."

"Gaps? What do you mean by gaps? The only time you've ever not know the future was during a turning point," I said, shifting uncomfortably as my hand tightened around her sheath.

"Have you forgotten?" She asked, her lips turning down in a small frown. "No, you're just not thinking."

I narrowed my eyes as I gazed up at her. "What am I not thinking about?"

"I warned you weeks ago," she said flatly. "If you cannot figure it out, then maybe I need to make you figure it out."

I narrowed my eyes at her with speculation and started to ask her what she meant by that, but was interrupted when she shifted and I heard her draw our sword. I quickly moved, catching the dull side of the blade just as she pulled it free from the sheath. Her expression became amused as she stopped retracting the blade away and smiled down at me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Meddling," she said as her smile became sinful. "Maebure no Shukufuku."

I swore as our shikai flared to life, the thigh plates and obi of my armor slamming into place around my body as my mind's eye took over. I released the blade of our sword as I felt not just the right sleeve of my yukata sheering away into golden reishi, but the left sleeve as well. My handguard and the plates that covered my right arm formed, but the shoulder pauldron and breastplate seemed to hesitate. I looked down at myself as I waited, but movement from my zanpakuto drew my attention back to her.

Her armor had formed over her kimono, looking much like mine normally did. Her mouth quirked to one side as she considered me and my body. Her finger hooked into the intricate weaving of our sword's handguard and she held it like that, not bothering to watch out for how the blade swung idly from her finger. She tapped her chin with her other hand as she shifted from side to side in a small pacing manner.

"Your armor cannot stay like that," she said nonchalantly as she stepped back, the skirts of her kimono flaring behind her so she wouldn't step on them. "With more power, comes the need for more restraint. Stand up."

I slowly did as she requested, coming to my feet and taking a few steps away from the porch. She reached out to me, her hand held out as if to ask for my own.

"What are you up to?" I asked without lifting my hand to meet was something off about the way our power felt. It was like it was suffocating, compacted down to something small instead of being an all encompassing presence. It made my skin crawl with the tingle it caused to run down my body.

"Stealing you away," she said simply.

"Stealing me away to where?"

"Somewhere you can learn the secret to controlling this new power without killing anyone," she said bluntly.

"The only place that is safe from that is outside the Rukon districts," I said as I gave her a half frown. "But, if that was where you intended us to go, you would have waited to force our shikai."

"I don't force our shikai, it is mine. That trick you played for years was forcing it," she said, rolling her eyes. "It would take my Herald, of all people, to stab herself and accidentally play to the activation of her bankai in order to access even a thread of her shikai."

"You're the one who wouldn't talk to me for years," I griped as I slowly lifted my hand to take hers.

"You are the one who could not hear me," my zanpakuto murmured as she closed the distance between our hands before I could, taking mine in a firm grip. It felt like a small explosion rocked me backwards as I was forced out from my body and my zanpakuto stepped into my place. I stumbled backwards, momentarily blind, deaf and dumb as I tried to figure out up from down.

Slowly, the world came into focus. I wasn't in the Soul Society, but rather somewhere different. I was standing on a small, grassy hill that stood out in the center of a large lake. The sun was blazing in the sky, but I felt little more than a warm and pleasant breeze brushing across my skin where I had expected the burn of such direct sunlight. The water around me was still despite its size, not even a small wave rippled the surface. Across the water, to the banks of the lank, a forest of hundred foot tall trees rose like a wall of vegetation, secluding me to only seeing the lake, the island I stood on, and the shore.

'This is our inner world,' my zanpakuto's voice explained in my head. 'The same place that I pulled you to when Mitsuji tried to consume your soul. It is like my masks, changing and reforming with every name I have given you.'

"Why am I here again? I thought I wasn't allowed?" I asked as I spun around, searching the small bit of land I was standing on for her. I jumped when she was just suddenly there, standing so close to me that my arm brushed across the front of her body as I faced her.

"You can't kill anyone here," she answered simply. "This is the safest place for you to learn to use your shikai without the level of control you have become accustomed to. You can do anything here. Destroy, build, create, demolish and ruin whatever you want. You must learn to use this ability before our time is up."

"How?" I asked, not understanding her urgency.

"Trial and error."

Her arm swept out, our sword in her hand as she lashed out in an artful display. I felt our power seep into the earth, but as I started to turn to follow her motion, one of the golden ornaments in her hair caught my eye. I stared at the three peonies, adorned with diamond centers and a delicate butterfly with surprise and disbelief.

"Since when have you been mimicking me?" I asked as I reached up to touch it. It looked exactly like the kanzashi Toshiro had given me.

She slowly turned her head back so she could meet my gaze. "Since when have I not been a reflection of you?"

"Since forever," I replied with a snarky retort.

"You are as unobservant as ever," she mumbled more to herself than me before she turned her gaze to the water around us. I started working up another reply when shadows forming in the water caught my attention. I promptly forgot about saying something when slowly rising heads broke the surface of the water. I took a few steps back from the one I was looking but caught myself as I realized that the heads were surrounding us.

"This is my version of a Terra Cotta army," my zanpakuto explained as she twisted our sword in the air. Like her,movement was a signal the heads rose higher to reveal the bodies that had still been hidden by water. Like a small sea of bodies they rose as one until it appeared that they were standing on the surface of the water. Each one of them appeared to be the same, brownish color from head to toe, their armor like something I could have imagined Captain Komamura donning. They were big, armored like heavy plated samurai, and lifeless.

"Our shikai can be used however we desire, but because of how you first gained control over our power, you have limited yourself to having such iron clad control. Without that control, your thoughts do what they wish. This is unacceptable. You need to learn to focus and control your thoughts instead of relying on your ability to categorize and block them out. Emotions are power. Thoughts are our method of execution. Our heart is our guide."

"You lost sight of our heart, our morals, when you consumed Amagi. That alone is no sin, but you need to learn to guide your actions. Be the conductor to your symphony. Iron control makes you precise, makes you capable of repairing those things you hold so dear, but it makes you weak."

"How do I do that? I can't think when I let it go like that. It's too much information," I said as I drew my eyes away from the soldiers to look up at her. Her teal gaze shifted down to me, her expression serious.

"Give up your precious control and let yourself feel." She held our sword out to me, offering me the hilt as she held it by the handguard. I took our offered sword, sliding my hand around hilt before pulling free from her grasp. She vanished as soon as the metal left her skin, leaving me blinking at the soldiers over the lake.

"W-wait," I said hesitantly. "What am I supposed to do?"

'React.'

That one word seemed to echo through the world like a shiver had resonated, shifting something inside me. It was the strangest sensation, like she had pulled away from me despite our sword being in my hands. As if on cue, the crowd of soldiers lurched as one and folded over like limp marionettes, their arms dangling limply. The movement made me swallow hard and drop into a defensive stance.

* * *

"You can't just leave me in here and expect me to learn something," my Herald exclaimed.

'You're never alone, but some things you must learn on your own,' I explained as my eyes wandered over the grassy expanse that dominated the space around me. 'It is safety and assurance that you cannot hurt anyone. Now, figure out how to use my power before I grow tired of being in your body.'

"In my body?" her voice was shrill with surprise. Oh how amusing my Herald was sometimes.

I shut a lid on her, squashing out the sound of her next snarky reply before I could hear it. She couldn't hurt herself in there, not while her body was safely in my possession.

I would make her sweat.

I would make her bleed.

I would make her learn.

I would make her grow.

We only had so much time, and until then I had a task to complete.

I had slipped into my herald's body when I had pulled her into our inner world, taking over much like I had done when we had used Yokokuhen. My herald was my vessel, my wielder and my partner. Taking control would have damaged our bond before I had performed such significant repairs to it. It had brought us so close that using her body was almost like using my own. Everytime I fixed our bond, I brought us closer. One day, we would be indiscernible from one another, but as it was I was still a bit taller than her and my hair finer. She was changing too, but I doubted she had noticed. She probably wouldn't notice until her eyes were mine.

She was so dense.

"What did you do to your armor?"

My eyes slid to the side as my attention shifted to the man walking up behind me. He was early. Far too early.

"Yeah, my zanpakuto is just being weird," I said shaking my head in a fashion similar to my Herald's normal gestures.

"I thought something was wrong," Kazui said with a small frown.

"Sorry," I apologized as I turned around and flashed the substitute soul reaper a fake smile. I didn't like the man. Not because of his personality, but because I couldn't always see him when I looked into the future. The power of the hollow that resided inside him made him like a shadow in the future. Sometimes he was there, sometimes he had a different role than I saw him filling, and sometimes he was just invisible to my sight.

"What's going on with your armor?" He asked, gesturing at the missing breast plate and bared arms. I didn't bother looking down, I knew how my herald looked. Instead I turned away from him, my eyes turning down to our sword. I had suppressed our spiritual pressure for her when I'd called Maebure no Shukufuku. It had been with the intent of not attracting attention, but we must have done something different.

"She doesn't like how part of my body is always vulnerable. I think she's working to redesign it," I said as I made a show of looking down at myself. It was more than my Herald would know, but it was the truth. She was right when she said I didn't lie, but I certainly didn't have to tell all that I knew.

"I suppose that would be a good thing then," he said, smiling at me like it was a genuine expression. Maybe it was… but I still didn't like him.

"Did you need something?" I asked as I turned back to fully facing him. I knew why he was here. It was why I had taken over my Herald's body.

"No, not exactly," he said as he lifted his hand to thoughtfully scratch the back of his head. "I know you're supposed to be confined and what not, but I was wondering if you'd like to watch Lisa, Shinji and I practice. It would be a good distraction I think, from recent events."

"As much as I would love that, I can't be running around without an escort. I really should be locked up until the investigation is over, so if the stealth force sees me I'm as good as an escapee," I said, making my expression appear disappointed.

"I can take care of that," Kazui said enthusiastically. "Lisa is a Captain, and she'd be more than happy to escort you to the training area. That would work, right?"

This was where my Herald would have told him no. But, I wasn't my Herald.

"Let me go and see what Captain Hitsugaya thinks," I said slowly as I turned my gaze back to his house. "If Captain Yodamaru is really okay with it, I don't think he'll object."

He wouldn't. I knew it, but with Kazui showing up several hours earlier than expected, there were several different ways that today could unravel, and I couldn't see half of it.

"Great," Kazui mused. "I can wait if you'd like, or to get Lisa. What do you think?"

"You can go get her. I'll need to make myself presentable, so I'll be a few. Thank you, Kazui," I said as I smiled back at him before moving towards the back porch. I felt him vanish with a flash step and turned back to look at the spot he had been. I stared at the spot for a long moment as my thoughts churned over what I knew would happen today. Today wasn't a turning point and neither were the following days, but I knew I couldn't see things. Out of everything in the world that Ria had ever encountered, only higher level Hollows were unseen by my power. I needed to figure out what I was missing before they came, to fill the gaps that haunted our future.

The only part of our future that didn't give me grounds for concern was the fact that it was there. It was full of holes and limited, but it was there. If my Herald were to be predicted to die, the future as a whole would have been empty. But, this did not mean that some horrible fate wouldn't befall her, but at least it wouldn't be our death. I needed to understand why I was blind and correct it, and this was my only chance before they came.

Setting my mind to another task, I turned back to the house and stepped up onto the porch. My Herald had come out here barefoot, so I used our mind's eye to slick the water away before I could track it in inside. I kept a tight fist around our spiritual pressure while I turned our armor back into reishi and recreated the sleeves of the yukata as I moved through the living room and towards the bedroom where I knew Toshiro was residing. I couldn't drop our shikai or I would be forced to release her from our inner world and be kicked from her body, so I had to make myself appear as normal as possible. But, she still would be a fugitive if I was separated from the captains.

I would need a disguise that was something my Herald would wear, but strange enough to not be recognized. Something that wouldn't scream Soul Reaper and wouldn't make people ask questions. I stopped just in front of the doorway as a thought popped into my head. My Herald wasn't as dumb as she made me believe sometimes.

I raised my arms away from my body and pulled at the fabric of the yukata with our power. In one flowing motion it shifted and with the remaining reishi from our armor it became layered, turning into a full kimono that she only wore on special occasions. I wouldn't need the freedom of mobility that my Herald desired so much. I never engaged in close combat, something she would learn to avoid one day. The kimono would suffice.

I looked down at myself and smiled at the pattern I had automatically chosen. It reflected my true self so accurately that there was no way my Herald would ever wear something so refined. I let out a sigh and forced the cranes that danced across the fabric to fade until only a few lined the shortened bottom hem and sleeves. The obi that I was so fond of was next, losing the ancient text that was scrolled across it and becoming a red obi with a boring pattern drawn into the material. I turned my attention to her hair after the outfit was settled, and with a flick of my head, the long locks pulled up into high chignon that was actually worthy of the kanzashi she adored.

This would have to do. My Herald chose to shy away from refinement unless there was a reason to be put on display. I wasn't nearly so humble, so we would compromise.

I slid our sword back in its sheath before I pulled the door to the bedroom open and stepped inside. Unlike my Herald, I didn't need to maintain a grip on our sword to keep our shikai running. I was our sword, so I didn't even bother trying to keep contact with the metal as I knelt beside the futon and let our sword rest on the ground at my hip.

I slowly reached out to Toshiro's sleeping form and hesitated. If I wasn't careful, he would figure me out before I could leave. He was too observant to be fooled like other people. Had I hidden everything that could give me away? My Herald and I were a lot alike, our biggest differences only in our mannerisms and voice. I must have forgotten something though. I had seen several versions of today pass by my eyes in the night. In all of them, he figured me out eventually. Which one would this be? Kazui had come far earlier than I had ever seen, and when I had gone to speak to Toshiro he had been awake and waiting for me. Now… this was good. Perhaps he would be tired, slow and I could easily-

His hand wrapped around my outstretched one and pulled me forward, abruptly ending my train of thought. I could have stopped myself from falling into the bed with him, but it wasn't something my Herald would have done, so I let it happen. I let him pull me down beside him, and even though I was incapable of the squealing giggle that would have slipped from my Herald, I donned a goofy smile that felt like it should have cracked my face.

"Good morning," I said, shifting my voice higher to mimic my Herald. His hand left mine and his arm slid under my body until he could curl his forearm and trap me against him. He rolled forward, partially trapping my body beneath his. He hesitated when his hand ran over the stiff fabric of the obi, trailing up and over the bow of the obidome. He lifted his head from the pillow and propped up on his elbow so he could look down at me. His aquamarine eyes trailed down my kimono in a confused glance, then up to my face before his expression grew concerned.

"How did you get dressed without waking me?" He asked.

"I've been wearing kimonos for years. Putting one on by myself is time consuming, but doable," I replied, trying to make myself seem perfectly innocent. I hadn't exactly answered his question, but it appeared to be enough.

"I know this wasn't here last night," he said as his hand ran down my sleeve to catch my wrist. He lifted lifted our wrist up, his hand closing over the burn scar that marred my Herald's body. His eyes drifted further up, running over the black silk and cranes that decorated the hem of the fabric. "Did you leave?"

"No, I used my shikai to retrieve it," I said as I turned my arm out of his grasp and motioned to my sword. His eyes narrowed, following my motion before returning to meet my gaze. His hand came up to run his thumb across my cheek, making me try harder to keep my expression very Herald like as he scrutinized me.

"Why are your eyes your zanpakuto's?"

I knew I hadn't caught something…

"My eyes are blue?" I asked dumbly. I started to sit up as if to remove myself from the bed so I could run to the bathroom, but his hand laid over my chest and applied enough pressure to keep me from moving away. I was caught under him, forced to meet his intelligent gaze as he took in my eyes. He knew something was different.

"Where is she?" he asked, not bothering to make his voice friendly. Too smart for his own good…

"Safely tucked away in our Inner World," I replied, my voice dropping to my normal alto and the face-breaking smile vanishing.

"Why?"

I gave him a half lidded stare to rival his suspicious glare. "Of all the people in this world, you understand my rules and methods the best and you are still asking me that? Why?"

"Why is she trapped in your inner world?" he rephrased. He hadn't needed to, but understood what he was asking.

"She's not trapped. She's learning to use the power I gave her in a place where she cannot hurt someone," I replied.

"Why wait until now?" He asked. "Shouldn't you have done that days ago?"

"We're running out of time," I said darkly. "I cannot let her run around doing as she wishes when the future is filled with empty spaces."

His eyes relaxed slightly as his thoughts must have turned from anger and directed towards understanding the hidden message in my words. It really wasn't all that hidden, but telling someone directly what the future held was against the rules. One day my Herald would be able to see what I could, but that wasn't going to be any time soon. But, she was the only one who could be trusted. Even the man above me wasn't worthy of the information that we possessed, but he was smart enough to figure enough of it out.

"You cannot see Arrancars," he murmured to himself.

"No, I cannot," I confirmed. For the sake of my Herald, I had explained everything to him. He knew my weaknesses. He knew my strengths. He knew my rules. He knew the limits of our power. He knew just how destructive we could be. My Herald didn't understand just how much he knew about us, though it was her own small mindedness that didn't allow her to see.

"When do the blank spaces in time start?" He asked, already knowing exactly what they did to my sight.

"Tonight."


	10. The Seeker Shall Play

What did she want me to do?

I had been asking myself this question the entire time I had been in here. My zanpakuto hadn't bothered to tell me what I needed to do or how to get out of our inner world before she absconded with my hopes of figuring out this new power she'd given me. She had told me that using this power came with having a purpose. I didn't have any purpose in here outside of avoiding these stone soldiers.

After my zanpakuto had flitted away, the soldiers had all pulled swords from the air as they became animate. That gesture alone wasn't startling, but the way they moved was. I was stuck on this little island, but they could run across the water or through the air like it was the World of the Living. Sure, I could have done it too if I had wanted to spare the thoughts to create steps under my feet, but I didn't have the time for it. They came at me like wolves trying to snap at my flesh to steal a bite before dashing away and I could do little more than defend myself from their constant onslaught.

I swore as one of them came up behind me and called a wall of reishi between us just before parrying a blow from another that had come straight at me. I glared at the stone face before me, finding the blank, expressionless gaze to be infuriating. I saw with my mind's eye as a third prepared to come at me and quickly shoved away the one in front of me so I could turn my attention elsewhere. Finding the third with my eyes I pulled at the ground and shot a spike of rock up to catch the soldier mid motion. I speared him on the spike and watched with smug satisfaction as his body went limp, dropping his sword in a lifeless gesture.

Finally, I had gotten one. I just had to do that to the rest of them.

A strange sensation from behind me drew me to turn around, but I was stopped as a flash of metal caught my eye. I didn't even have a chance to react before a sword impaled the center of my forehead, stopping any movement that I had been preparing to make. I blinked at the stone face that looked at me from just beyond the wall I had created. His sword had pierced my wall… no, he had just gone through it. Even his hand as it held the hilt of the sword had gone through my wall like it wasn't there. How the hell…?

I was dying, wasn't I? I could feel the cold metal all the way through to the back of my skull. He must have broken something with his thrust because there was no pain despite the blood and other fluids that I could feel running down my face. Had my zanpakuto meant to kill me? I didn't know. My thoughts felt slow and reluctant and my vision was losing focus. Had she really brought me here just to kill me?

The sword retracted slowly from my head. It felt like it was pulling out for ages as the blade grinded against my skull before it finally slicked away, covered in my blood. I fell forward with the release, my body slamming down to my knees before falling the rest of the way to the ground. My head bounced on the dirt, but I barely felt it as everything seemed to drain away from me. There was no life flashing before my eyes or thoughts of the past as my vision became unfocused and distant, the body of the soldier I had skewered the only thing I could make out. At least I had gotten one of them…

Wait… What? I watched as the spike I had created seemed to shrink on its own, lowering the soldier's body until his feet hit the ground. He stood like a marionette being pulled by its strings and shook almost violently before he appeared to return to normal. He stooped and picked up his dropped sword before walking away from me and out, over the water.

What the fuck…

I felt my head… shift? I didn't know if it was the right word, but the hole that had been made by the soldier's sword pulled and the hot spill of blood and thicker fluids that had been running down my face was just gone. The fog that had been creeping over my mind abruptly vanished, leaving me blinking in surprise as I tried to figure out what was going on.

Pushing away from the ground I sat back on my heels and looked down to my hands. I wasn't shaking, but I felt like I should have been. I turned my gaze to the water's edge and hesitantly crawled forward until I could see myself in the surface's reflection. There was nothing there, like I had never been struck. I ran my hand down my skin, searching for the hole that I knew had been there. My skin was whole, like nothing had ever happened.

I wasn't going to die. I should have, but I didn't - wasn't - I didn't know, but I was alright somehow. How the hell did I not die?

Metal clinked behind me and I looking over my shoulder to see the soldier still standing on the island. My wall had vanished at some point in time, leaving nothing between him and I. I swallowed hard and only had enough time to shy away from his oncoming blow as he charged towards me.

Seeker

"They're coming tonight and you waited until now to prepare her?" Toshiro asked, his voice deceptively soft.

"I cannot even begin to predict her name because so much of her fate is missing from my sight. I cannot interfere in her future if I have seen it: it is a rule. I could not make her face her demons until today, when there is no future for me to interfere with," I explained.

"That's the same reason that you wouldn't tell me what happened in the arena. Your rules." He had to know he was pointing out the obvious. I knew all of this already.

"The rules are my law. I cannot break them unless someone breaks the rules first. Then, and only then, am I allowed to take action." I had explained this a dozen times, maybe more, over the course of time that I had been with him instead of my Herald. There were only a few people that I would let handle me like he did, but he had earned my confidence unlike the rest.

"Fuck your rules."

Ah, there was the hot anger that I had grown accustomed to seeing from him. He had never understood why I had rules and why I wouldn't change them for my Herald. He didn't want to understand what I had tried to explain to him, and though he wouldn't say it, he blamed me for all the unfortunate things that had happened to my Herald. His opinion of me didn't matter though. My Herald understood. Even as I beat her down in our inner world, she understood why I was doing it, why I was forcing her. For all his intuition and problem solving, he couldn't come to terms with the fact that I controlled our power and not her. I was just a zanpakuto who rebelled against her Master… pfft.

"The rules are everything," I stated in a flat tone.

"Your damned rules are what gave her these scars." He roughly took my wrist once more, but stopped himself before his grip could hurt. His hand shook with the effort he was exerting to not bruise me, to not bruise my Herald. His physical strength far exceeded my Herald's or even mine, but I wasn't using my own body. The only one he would hurt was her, and he knew it.

I thought about my response to his accusation. There were so many ways that I could turn his words on him. Part of me wanted to wound his pride for even suggesting that it was my fault that my Herald had been injured so many times. Fortunately, I didn't need to look into the future to know what sort of road that would lead this interaction down. He was already displeased with me for not expressing what I knew about the events that took place in the arena. There was no need to add to the fire if I wanted to have my way today.

"These scars hurt you more than they did her," I said softly. The corners of his eyes flinched, telling me that I had said the right thing. "She may have been physically wounded to earn these marks, but for my Herald they mean little more than the evidence of memories. She is not like the person who haunts your soul, she does not and never will blame you."

"If it hadn't been for your rules, she never would have been so badly injured in the first place." The grip he had around my wrist flexed with his words, shooting a burst of pain up my arm. I could have easily protected myself from his grip, but he was forgetting himself.

"You forget your own strength, Toshiro," I said smoothly. "You'll break her wrist if you don't control yourself."

He abruptly released his hold as he looked to his own hand, shock clear in his eyes. He was so careful around my Herald, but for just a moment he had allowed himself to forget I was in her body and not my own. I could see the realization in his eyes, and I needed to act now while he was caught in his own head. Using our mind's eye I levered myself higher, drawing his attention back to me as I stopped so close that our noses were almost touching. His breath was cool against my lips as he sucked in a sharp breath and let it out.

"If I didn't have rules, if I hadn't given her just a name, she never would have written that letter to you when she left for the world of the living. She never would have known she would die, and you never would have cared enough to save her."

"That doesn't account for every instance," he said, his voice having grown soft with proximity.

I turned my head slightly so I could find his hand with my gaze, humanizing myself for his benefit. I took hold of his palm in mine and brought it to my chest to rest over the scars that frightened him most. Returning my gaze to his I forced my kimono to disperse into flecks of reishi and held his hand to my skin, forcing him to feel the raised trails of flesh he called scars. He started to pull away from me, but I followed him and minimized the distance between us until my lips were hovering only a breath away from his. He went still with my advance, and I knew he was torn between the allure of my Herald's body and the knowledge that I was the one at the helm instead of her. I wouldn't actually close the distance. I had no interest in him like that, but while I was in my Herald's body I'm sure he was wondering if I would.

"When I look into the future, I can see every possible outcome for the next few days, months, years. It depends on how hard I look, but everything is there. I can consider my actions, how the names that I give my Herald effect her and the world around her." I turned my body to allow his palm to rest flat against my chest, guiding his hand to fully feel the length of the scars. I needed to make him understand why my rules were there, why I bothered to follow them, why they were so important.

"That day at the arena, I could have picked any name for her because she would have neglected to ask under any circumstance. She was paranoid, but she also trusted in the peace she had felt for weeks. So, her name was She Who is Vulnerable."

"This answers nothing," he said, his voice rumbling in his chest.

"It answers everything," I replied as I drew his hand towards my right, covering the very center of my sternum. "I considered telling her more, warning her away from further practice in a - ah - subtle manner. Something that would have sent her somewhere else at the time, but he was always there and she always ended up alone. So, I considered, what if I told Toshiro, her Captain and lover, of her impending injury? What if I broke my rules and told someone the true future?"

I paused my words as I let him think over what I had said. I would give him a chance to figure it out, but he wouldn't. He shouldn't…

"What would have happened?" He asked, not waiting long before speaking.

I pressed my finger between his and he spread his hand to allow me to touch my chest. I drew my nail along my skin and used my mind's eye to mimic a scar under my touch. When the scar was long I withdrew my hand from his and let him discover on his own what I had done. It only took him a moment to trace the line with his finger and to physically startle.

"In every scenario where I broke my rules, she was crippled or outright killed." I made sure my words had a bite when I said them. "This is the case in every scenario outside of her turning points. When I interfere, the outcome is ten times worse than fate intended. I will kill my Herald if I try to change her fate, try to save her from her injuries. Would you really ask that of me?"

His hand withdrew from my chest and slid up to caress my cheek. My Herald's body responded to the familiar touch as a delighted shiver tightened things low in her body. I felt it like it was my own response and tried my best to ignore it and focus on his words as he asked, "Why didn't you explain this before now?"

"I explained my rules to you, but you never asked why my rules existed," I said as I pulled back from him. He only let me remove myself enough so he could look at me before his grip around me stiffened, holding me in place. If I could have vanished like I did in my own body, I would have manifested outside of his reach. Her body liked the proximity to him far more than I was comfortable with.

"What about your other rules? Do they have a reason behind them?"

"Yes, but if you want to understand that much you will have to earn it," I said as I called my kimono back from the reishi that had been wafting in the air around us and wrapped myself in the slick fabric.

He let out a long sigh and released his hold around my body, allowing me to draw away from him. I used our mind's eye to help me rise to my feet in one fluid motion that never would have been capable by my Herald alone. I knew his eyes were on my back as I adjusted the kimono and my hair, sliding them back into their proper places and pulling the knots of the obi and accompanying parts tighter.

"You still haven't explained why you are in her body while she is in your inner world," Toshiro said, drawing my attention away from my appearance.

I turned to look at him to find he was sitting up, the yukata he had donned the night before barely hanging from his shoulders to leave his upper body rather exposed. His piercing aquamarine eyes were watching me as I turned, taking in my movements as I knelt to pick up my sword.

"I cannot travel very far from my sword as you know, and I cannot keep our shikai running if I am too far from my Herald. I need her presence in order to maintain this state while I travel." I ran my hand down the white sash that was tied to my sheath and forced the fabric to shift and change into black silk that would blend with the fabric of my kimono. "The Substitute Soul Reaper invited my Herald to observe his practice with the other Visored. Because of their unique spirit energy, this is most likely my only chance to figure out how their hollow halves are interfering with my sight and correct it."

"You believe this will fix your blindness?" He asked.

"Yes," I stated flatly, trying to hide the unsureness of my answer.

"Why don't I believe you?" He asked.

His question made me freeze mid motion as I had been moving to secure my sword to my hip. That intuition of his was a terrible beast…

"I cannot see my own fate, only my Herald's," I replied as vaguely as I could. I resumed placing my sword on my hip and tying the silken sash in place at the base of my obi to blend in with the extra fabric below my obi.

"You don't know if this will allow you to fix your sight," he stated.

"It must," I replied simply.

"And if it doesn't?"

Securing the bow I turned to fully face him and unleashed upon him the blank stare I had given my Herald for years. "At this moment, there is a future beyond today. That is my only indication that my Herald does not perish during the blank spaces in time."

"That doesn't answer my question," he murmured. He took a deep breath and let it out before he rolled forward in a motion that told me he was moving to stand. I turned away from him and moved to the dresser where my Herald's kanzashi was resting atop her folded hair ribbon. I picked up the delicate ornament and looked to the mirror that stood up from the back of the dresser. I didn't let myself watch the man moving behind me as I turned my head to watch as I slid the prongs of the kanzashi into my chignon.

Despite my best efforts to appear to ignore him, Toshiro came up behind me and stopped so close that I could almost feel his body heat, or maybe it was the chill of his spiritual pressure, radiating off of him. I couldn't tell with the layers of my kimono between us which it was, I just knew that he was too close. I continued to ignore him despite his looming presence as I adjusted the kanzashi, ensuring that the chains could freely dangle. Once I was satisfied I met my own gaze in the mirror, but couldn't help myself when my gaze flicked up to meet his own watchful eyes. I forced myself to focus on my appearance and thought about my eyes and just how different they were from my Herald's. I could alter my Herald's body with our mind's eye, but the pain of it would be more than enough to take me down to my knees. I needed something more… Temporary.

Contacts, perhaps.

With a simple thought a sheen of reishi formed over my eyes. It felt so odd that I was forced to blink, but it was only a moment later that I had adjusted and gazed at my Herald's milk chocolate eyes. I couldn't help but to look to Toshiro for his reaction, but there was nothing in his expression that hadn't been there before.

Like my shift in attention had drawn him to act, he leaned forward and down until his mouth was close enough to whisper in my ear, "what happens if you cannot correct your sight?"

"Today is not a turning point, yet I am interfering despite my rules. Why do you think I would risk this while knowing what the consequences could be?" I asked, remaining completely still as I held his aquamarine gaze in the mirror.

His hands came forward, resting on the dresser's edge on either side of my body to trap me where I was without actually touching me. He was being careful while at the same time pushing the limits by being so close to me. If I was myself, I never would have allowed it. He knew that I had only fallen into his embrace under the false image of my Herald, and that being like this was only allowed because I couldn't make myself vanish like my manifestation, yet he was still doing it. Infuriating man...

"Tankyu no Unmei, what aren't you telling me?" His voice wasn't more than a whisper, but I heard it for the plea that it was.

I dropped his gaze then, instead finding my Herald's hair ribbon to fixate my attention on as I peered back into our inner world. My Herald was struggling against the small army I had created, but she was learning. Every time she was smacked down and defeated, she let her precious control slip just a little more. In just a few hours I would have her fully capable of using the abilities I had given her and all that would be left was to pull her back into using her mind's eye.

But, my Herald wasn't the only thing I had trapped in our inner world.

Deep in the waters that surrounded my Herald was something I had been holding onto for some time. It was my safeguard against the unknown and the one reason that I had allowed the man behind me to know so much about us. It was the promise that no matter what sort of situation my Herald could get herself into, he would always find us. He knew… he knew and I trusted him enough to keep a piece of his spirit energy inside us. Doing so was like keeping the back door to our mind and body always open to him. It was why I needed to express this concern I had been harboring quietly ever since I had discovered my shortcomings.

"When a turning point happens, I can only see the very immediate future. If my sight is useless, I cannot step in to save my Herald from something I could prevent," I said softly in reply. I turned slowly until I could turn my gaze on him instead of looking at his reflection. "I won't let my Herald die if I can stop it, but how am I to know? If I cannot see what is coming-"

"You rely too heavily on your sight," he said, his eyes softening as he understood my concerns.

"It is what I am, the Seeker of Fate."

"And the Seeker is scared of what she cannot see," he added, saying aloud the thoughts I had been refraining from voicing.

"Yes, I am."

We stood like that for a long, silent moment as I churned over what I knew of the coming events. Kazui wouldn't be much longer with Captain Yadomaru in tow. I didn't know how long I had spent here with Toshiro, but I needed to get his blessing before I could leave.

"While I am in control, my Herald is practically invulnerable. Will you grant Ria Yamamoto your permission to observe the Visored's practice?" I asked, making sure that my request was clear.

"You need an escort to leave, or the stealth force will act as if you are a fugitive," he said, his body unmoving.

"Captain Yadomaru will be our escort, unless you wish to travel with us," I said, already knowing his answer.

"You said tonight is when the blank spaces in time start," he said as his thoughts aligned into an action. "If this is truly the case, we need to prepare. There are only so many ways that someone can enter the Seireitei uninvited."

"I cannot see them to even begin to suggest where to start," I said as I eyed his arms that were still trapping me in place.

"Considering your rules, I didn't expect a suggestion," he stated flatly. "Ria is safe until your vision is blank?"

"Yes," I said simply. When the look he gave me said he expected more to my answer, I continued, "I will give her control back before this evening. It will take her several hours to figure out how to use the part of myself that I have given her, and only a moment more to pull her back to a middle ground where she can use her mind's eye and intuition."

"If you cannot correct your vision, what will you do?" He asked.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. I placed my hand on his forearm and pushed at him, silently telling him to move. He obliged and I stepped away in one quick movement until I finally felt comfortable with the distance between us. "Once I recede and my Herald takes her body back, she will be in control of our actions. I will be nothing more than what I was."

"Until the next time you decide you want control," he commented.

"My Herald willingly swapped places with me. I cannot force a switch like this without some part of her agreeing to it." I glanced back at him and give him the same look that I usually gave my Herald, blank and unassuming. "But yes, until next time."

He nodded and dropped his gaze to the floor. "I need to inform the Head Captain of what you have told me, so we can develop a course of action."

"I will not leave until the Squad 8 Captain arrives," I said as I moved towards the bedroom door, aiming to separate myself from his presence before he decided to change. My Herald enjoyed watching him do things like that far too much for my comfort level.

"Before you go," he called after me as I slid the bedroom door open. I paused to look back at him and met his aquamarine eyes. "Ria never suppresses her spiritual pressure, I don't believe she's even capable of it. If you really want to get away with pretending to be her, then you are going to want to relax your hold on your power."

I blinked slowly at him and did as he suggested, barely letting the fist I had around our spirit energy relax. "Does it bother you, not being able to feel us?"

"Not like it bothers her," he replied, "but others will notice as well, especially someone like Kazui."

I nodded in response and turned back to the door. "Duly noted."

Herald

How many times had I been defeated now? I had lost count sometime after ten, but it felt like that had been hours ago. My zanpakuto was relentless in her terra cotta onslaught. I should have died to her soldiers dozens of times, but every time I was struck the area reset and I was left clutching at a non-existent injury. It was cruel treatment, but effective. Every time she 'killed' me I had to give up more of my control. I was finally to the point where everything was reaction, reflex and had parried every blow several times, but when it came to attacking back, my need to think broke through and I lost it. It was frustrating and downright irritating.

I glanced up at the warrior that was coming at me. Its blank, expressionless face was watching me as it hefted a sword into the air was must have been longer than I was tall. This guy… this guy had cleaved me in half twice already. I wasn't going to let him do it again. I didn't feel the pain from the death blows I received in this world, but the sight of my body lying in two pieces for just a moment was more than startling enough to make me never want to have it happen again. I drew a wall between myself and the soldier, and without so much as a blink l slammed the wall into him hard enough that he went flying across the surface of the water until thirty feet away he slammed into it and sank. I knew he would be back, but it would take a minute.

This go around, I had managed to destroy four of the thirty or so soldiers without being defeated. I was pretty sure my zanpakuto intended for me to destroy every one of them without being hit before she would consider me done. So, twenty-six more to go. My record was eleven so far. I just had to keep my mind clear and not focus on any single soldier for more than a second.

I was so going to get her back for this.

I felt the distraction my thoughts had caused just before a blade slammed into my back, stealing my breath away with the force of the blow as it jerked me forward. Damn it…

My knees slammed down into the mud my island had become as I slid off the sword that had pierced me. There was no pain to the wound, but the sucking sound from my chest as I tried to breath told me that I had lost. Again. The only good thing was despite how long I had been running our shikai, I didn't seem to be growing tired.

I watched as the four bodies of the soldiers I had taken down pulled themselves together and stood, the mud slicking off of them like water. They shook with their apparent resurrection and shifted slightly, their armor and held weapons becoming more unique. They were becoming harder to kill every time I took them down. Mr. Long sword had been an easy kill several times until abruptly he became the monster that he was now.

My zanpakuto really didn't fight fair.

I felt my chest fix itself like it had already done so many times in the last few hours and my breathing became normal again. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not that I was becoming accustomed to the sensation. The first time I had almost gone into shock, but now it was just another reset. Either way, I turned my gaze to the soldiers that waited around me. I knew they wouldn't attack until I took to my feet, so for just a moment I let my gaze wander up to look into the sky.

"Tankyu no Unmei," I called out to her despite knowing that she hadn't answered to me since this had all started. I waited for what felt like several minutes before I dropped my head. Of course she still wasn't listening. She was probably off drinking with Rangiku or something while I was in here getting murdered over and over again. At least she had the decency to make it painless.

Letting out a rough sigh I took to my feet and set myself up for the onslaught that was about come at me. I cleared my head from all thought as the soldiers shifted, raising their weapons in preparation. I would break them all even if it took me days to do. My zanpakuto had sent me here so I couldn't hurt someone like I had Amagi. I needed to figure out exactly how to use it so I would never repeat what I had done.

Never again…

Seeker

"Ria," the substitute Soul Reaper called out to me as I dropped from my flash step at his side. I turned to him, adjusting my geta as I looked up to him. He wasn't quite as tall as Toshiro, maybe just a few inches shorter, but compared to my Herald he still loomed over us even with the geta on.

"Is something wrong?" I asked him innocently. I hadn't done anything out of what could be considered normal, so why he was giving me a skeptical look I didn't know. We had entered some sort of underground training area that had required maneuvering down a seemingly endless shaft that had dropped us into an area that looked like it should have been outside of the Rukon districts rather under the Seireitei. Perhaps it was my flash stepping that had drawn his concern?

Captain Yadomaru stopped on my other side, drawing my mind's eye but not my gaze. The two people on either side of me felt different from one another. No doubt it was Kazui's lineage, but they both weren't the same. Close, but different enough that I knew I had misunderstood what a Visored actually felt like.

"I'm surprised the stealth force left us alone," she commented as she turned to face us. I let out a silent sigh and turned away from Kazui to give her the attention that her words demanded.

Captain Lisa Yadomaru was average looking in the way that Lieutenant Matsumoto was. In other words, not at all. She wore the typical Captain's haori that all the other captains did, but unlike them she looked like she was ready to tear it off at a moment's notice. She just didn't appear comfortable in the long garment. It made sense when you saw what she was hiding under it. Her shihakusho wasn't more than a skimpy outfit that the living seemed so fond of dressing their young women in. Her skirt couldn't have covered much more than her lean behind, and her sleeves exposed almost her entire arm. With her haori on no one could fully see her outfit, but with my mind's eye I had been exposed to far more of her body than was proper for a lady. Thankfully, her outfit was the only thing sinful about her appearance. She wore glasses that made her look more like a book worm than a prostitute and her hair was pulled back in a modest ponytail leaving only her straight, black bangs to cover her forehead and temples. It almost seemed like her head didn't belong on the body.

"I'm not considered to be breaking the rules so long as I'm with a Captain," I said with a small shrug.

"No duh," she said as she sent me a flat stare. "I wouldn't have wasted my time coming to escort you if you didn't need it, but I'm still surprised."

I did my best to mimic my Herald's nervous laughter before saying, "thank you again for this."

"You can blame Kazui. Poor kid feels bad for ya," she said as she waved us off before she turned and started walking towards the training area we had stopped just outside of.

I turned back to the mentioned man and gave him a questioning look. He shrugged sheepishly at my glance. "Toshiro asked me look after you that day, and I didn't do anything to help. If I had known what he was doing I would have, but he had you dead to rights before I could even think about getting between you two."

"It's alright, Kazui," I said, dropping my gaze. "It wasn't your fault, so you shouldn't feel that way."

"Did you even suspect him?" He asked.

How to answer such a question… "Yes and no. He had been vetted by Captain Kurotsuchi so I didn't want to believe what I was feeling."

"Do you think that's the end of it?"

I turned my gaze up to meet his kind orange eyes. Ugh, his cheery demeanor was unnerving. "Other than my sister, yes. She's the only one left that is still possessed by a soul candy."

"And you're positive of this?" His brow quirked with his question.

"Yes." I answered simply.

He watched me a long moment like he was waiting for me to say more. Finally he turned away and started to follow after the female Visored. Over his shoulder he said, "you're different today."

I frowned at his accusation. Toshiro had been right when he had said the orange haired boy would notice. My spiritual pressure was ever so slightly different from my Heralds, but most people wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. He probably didn't understand why, but he knew that my Herald appeared to be different. I would have to be more careful around him.

"It's the kimono," I said jokingly as I followed him. "I was raised in an environment far different from squad life. It makes me more comfortable outside of the uniform."

"I can understand that," he replied as he glanced down to me when I stepped up beside him. "I'm Human, part of the living, but I've spent so much of my life running around outside of it, that it's far more comfortable to be here or in Hueco Mundo than stuck in my body back in the world of the living."

"It's the energy," I said as we entered the large flat space that Squad 5 called a training area. It was more of a big, empty area that would have been better suited for holding a fair than a training area with how expansive and boring it was. Oh, the things I could have done with a space like this… "Reishi gives off a thrum of power, like the residual presence of the people who have lingered around it. The Seireitei practically hums with power no matter who you are around because of the people who have been around before."

"What do you mean?" he asked as he stopped walking to watch me.

I copied his movement and stopped so I could turn to look back at him. "The world of the living is made up of something besides reishi. Adams or whatever."

"Atoms, yes," he corrected me.

I dismissed his words with a wave and continued, "reishi isn't like your atoms. It is the same concept of an all encompassing material that our bodies and our world are made of, but it's different. We can manipulate reishi because it accepts our reiatsu, our influence, much like your zanpakuto accepts you. Atoms don't do that. It's why you feel more at ease here. The world welcomes our spirit energy and radiates with it everywhere you go."

"Your zanpakuto allows you to do that though, most of us can't manipulate reishi like that," he pointed out.

"You can't do it to the extent that we can, but you are still capable of it. How do you stand in the sky in the world of the living?" I prompted him.

"I don't know. No one ever taught me the mechanics behind a lot of what we do."

"You're standing on reishi," I said. "When you draw on the power, it's attracting reishi under your feet. It takes more energy to do it here, but it can be done if you want to waste the energy, but most people choose not to."

"I never knew you were so insightful," he commented as a lopsided grin upturned the corner of his mouth.

"I talk simple when I must," I quickly covered as I turned my gaze out across the grounds to find Captain Yadomaru and Captain Hirako moving slowly towards us as they exchanged words. Perhaps I wasn't as similar to my Herald as I thought. I needed to get out of personal conversation with this man before he asked any more troublesome questions. My knowledge far exceeded my Herald's when it came to how the world worked. I was making her sound smarter than she was.

"I'm detaining you from training. I apologize," I said as I glanced around the area. He had invited my Herald to observe when there really was no place to go to be out of the way. How asinine…

"Yeah," he said, laughing sheepishly. "There isn't really a seating area here like you have in the training arena at your Squad's grounds. Normally, someone sets a barrier for those not participating to take shelter in, but they aren't exactly the safest place to be. When I hollowfy things tend to get messy. It's not a question of control, it's just how my Kagetsu works. I figured with your shikai you can create your own barrier. With the way Rangiku described your power, how your barriers are stronger than just a kyomon would be, I figured you would be perfectly safe."

"You are that dangerous to be around?" I asked making sure my words expressed my skepticism.

"When I want to be," he said, shrugging. "I didn't go through all the trials that my Dad did with Aizen, the Fullbringers, and Yawatch. He had a reason to become who he is and the driving urge to protect those he felt needed to be protected. I haven't had that drive to be the strongest, but I've always been training to control my powers. It was always to ensure that I wouldn't accidentally misuse my abilities, but once I understood what it meant to my father to have the abilities that he does, I worked to become stronger. I want to be able to protect those I love, just like he did. So to answer your question: yes, I am that dangerous."

My Herald would have had something heartfelt to say to him, but I didn't. I didn't know his life story because it didn't matter to me. What did matter to me though… "Why do you feel different from the other Visored?"

"I feel different?" he asked, prompting me to nod at him. "I suppose it's because I'm Human."

"It's more than that." I shook my head and started to reach out to him, but stopped myself. "You left your Human - ah - presence behind in the world of the living."

"You're pretty sensitive to spiritual pressure, aren't you?" He asked, an amused grin quirking his lips.

"Yes," I replied simply.

"Tell you what," he said as he turned to start moving towards the two Captains who appeared to be waiting for him a short distance away. "Watch our sparring for a while, then see if you can tell me what I am. If you get close, I'll let you in on the family secret."

I watched his back as he left me, turning his cheery words towards the captains. He was such a strange man. Who would just offer up something like that? Clearly, it wasn't as much of a secret if all I had to do was figure out what he was. My Herald would surely have a good idea of what he was. She had paid attention when she was going through the academy, where as I had been focusing on her future. I could search through the past to discover what I had missed, but that would take time and would most likely drain my Herald's spirit energy to do so. We didn't have the luxury of wasting our energy today. She needed to be ready for what I could not see.

But, even if he did tell me, how would that help me to fix my vision? The Visored were close enough to Arrancar that I was positive they would be able to fix my vision. How did I do it though? How had I first noticed that my vision was incomplete?

My Herald had laid hands on the Numeros when I had first seen the discrepancy in her immediate future. No - she hadn't just laid hands on him, she had sought out what was inside of him and laid her mind's eye on his spirit energy. Was that how I needed to fix it? Did I need to look into one of them to discover what I couldn't see in our future? My Herald had only looked so deeply into three people. Two of them had been weaker than herself which allowed her to forcefully do it, but Toshiro had let her. There was no way that we could look into one of them without permission. They were too strong for that.

Kazui though, would he mind? I had been trying to impersonate my Herald this entire time, but if I told him, asked him and explained why… Was he the type of person that would just let me? Perhaps, but I needed to gain his trust before I asked him to rely on it.

Herald

The last of the terracotta soldiers fell into the lake, causing a wave of water to overtake my island in a rush that almost took my feet out from under me. I stumbled and easily caught myself by stabbing my zanpakuto into the ground as my senses spread through the area to search for any remaining threats. I had counted thirty, I was sure of it. But maybe I had missed one? There were several bodies lying around me on the ground, but the majority had fallen into the water. If I hadn't actually killed them, they could easily resurface.

I stayed perfectly still, allowing myself to really open myself to sense anything. I couldn't see into the water, I never had been very good with manipulating liquids, but what I could feel and see was still… calm… Dead. I'd done it. I had really done it… I almost couldn't believe it.

I left my zanpakuto when I had stabbed it into the ground and walked over to the shore where the mud wasn't as thick and took a seat. I had discovered through as many near death experiences I had today that in this place I didn't have to worry about maintaining contact with my zanpakuto. It was probably because she was maintaining it for me, but I didn't bother worrying about it. I was mentally blank from forcing myself to keep a clear head. Just staring out across the water at the far shore seemed like too much thinking after all that had happened since I entered this place.

"It is meant for defense," my zanpakuto said from behind me. I didn't bother turning to look at her when she spoke, instead favoring a spot in the trees that stood out. She must have been referring to this part of our shikai that she had given me.

"Yes," she confirmed my unvoiced thoughts. I felt her move until she was just behind me, but I kept ignoring her.

"It sure seems like it's meant for more than that," I grumbled absently.

"Here, where you have nothing to distract you, to keep your thoughts from running away, it would seem that way." She moved around me and I heard the sound of her moving through water as she shifted to interrupt my view. She knelt before me and reached out to rest her hand on my folded knee. In the bright light of our inner world, the metal that adorned her skin glowed like molten gold as she leaned close enough to me that if she hadn't been my zanpakuto, I would have shoved her away.

"Do you feel anything right now?" She asked.

"No," I replied dully. Experiencing my death so many times had robbed me of thoughts and feelings. I felt empty, almost light in the absence of anything, but so… blank. She had to have known that, so why she was asking was baffling.

"Where is our mind's eye?" She asked.

"I'm not using it," I grumbled at her as I shifted, pulling my knee away from her hand.

"And how are you using our shikai without our mind's eye to control it?"

I hesitated as I processed her question. I wasn't using our mind's eye and hadn't been for some time now. I had given up on trying to have control while fighting her soldiers. I hadn't been able to concentrate on so many targets at one time, which is why I had been killed so many times. I had given up control for defending myself, but it had taken me up until a short while ago to stop using it to attack.

"I don't know, I just am," I finally concluded.

"Can you bring your mind's eye back to the forefront?"

"Will you sick your soldiers on me again if I do?" I asked, my words sharp with spite.

"Not these soldiers," she said as she shook her head. Her hand found mine and raised it until her fingers could lace between my own. She brought our joined hands towards her until she could press the back of my hand to her chest.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"You have passed this trial. You've figured out how to react instead of using your hard won control to fight."

I scoffed at her and turned my gaze down and to the side so I was looking at the mud I was sitting in. "Great, I figured it out. It just took you killing me a hundred times before I figured it out. Fantastic."

"We're running out of time, Herald," she said softly as her other hand reached out and brushed along my cheek. "If there were another way to make you learn this quickly, I would have done it. But, you are stubborn and unwilling to change how your mind works. You listened to Toshiro when he guided you into your mind's eye, but can you honestly say that you would have allowed yourself to use this ability around him after killing Amagi?"

I frowned at her words and shook my head. "No, I wouldn't. I know he's stronger than me, but there's always the chance…"

I let out a harsh sigh and turned my head further away, parting my skin from her finger tips. "You said earlier that there were gaps in my future. You were referring to the Arrancar, weren't you?"

"Yes and no." Her response was hesitant, making me glance at her from the corner of my eye.

"That's not an answer."

Her teal gaze met mine as she said, "I am working to fix my sight, but while I am doing that, I need you to seek the full power of our shikai."

I narrowed my eyes at her and clasped my hand around hers to ensure she wouldn't go anywhere as I asked, "what have you been doing in my body?"

"You never did as I asked, so I did it for you," she said like it was obvious.

"What didn't I do? Sit and stare at the arrancars trapped in squad 12?" I asked with a flat tone, the anger I expected to flare with my words never coming to me.

"Yes," she said flatly. "If you had, I wouldn't have needed to go galavanting around in your body. We are fortunate that the substitute Soul Reaper pities your circumstances, or I never would have had the opportunity to remedy my sight."

"So you can see Arrancars now?" I asked, my tone doubtful.

"I am working to correct my sight, which is why I have come here to assist you."

"That makes absolutely no sense," I commented as I moved to pull my hand free from hers. She held on though, keeping my hand trapped in hers.

"I have never concerned myself with anything that will not affect you. Because of this oversight, I need to know what you know before the Substitute Soul Reaper completes his training."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I responded, "what could I possibly know that you don't? You're like the sphinx, always playing games with words and my names."

"What is the Substitute Soul Reaper?" She asked.

I blinked at her for a moment, showing my confusion at her question. "He's a Soul Reaper. What else would he be?"

"You know that there is more to him. I could look into your past for the answer, but it will take too much time. I need to know what he is so I can understand why he is different."

"Why does he matter?" I asked as I pulled on her hand again.

She moved toward me with the force of my movement, but instead of just returning to where she had been she lurched forward and her other hand pressed to my shoulder. She forced me back, riding me down as I slapped into the mud that my island had become. A shiver ran down my body at the feeling of the slimy wetness soaking into my clothing to coat my skin, but she didn't seem to notice as she loomed over me. Her free hand lifted from my shoulder and as I recoiled from her startling actions, she trust her palm down to catch me in the center of my forehead.

My mind's eye snapped into existence and the world enveloped my mind all at once, disorienting me as I forced the information to separate into categories.

"Under normal circumstances, I would play this game with you, but we have neither the time nor the patience to waste on word games. You know what he is, and I need to know now."

"Why?" I asked again as I lifted my head out of the mud so I could try and shake away the gunk that had splattered across my face. She wasn't having it though, and she slammed my head back down. This time she held me down by resting her hand on my collar bone and putting her body weight into it.

"To keep you from dying unexpectedly," she finally answered. "Your future is filled with holes, with Arrancars that I cannot see. I need to correct my mind's eye, and right now that means gaining the Substitute Soul Reaper's trust, and to do that I need to know what you know."

"You're intending to use him like you're using me," I stated as I finally put my head in order.

"He is too strong for me to use him. I need his permission, and I intend to gain it by asking for it," she said as she leaned further forward, pushing me further into the mud.

"Then just let me do it," I said as I wrapped my hand around her wrist and pushed back, relieving my chest of her weight.

"You aren't done here," she said as I felt her guide our power outwards. From the corner of my eye I saw one of those damn soldiers rise from the water, its broken body mending from the brushing blow I had dealt it earlier.

"I am not fighting these damn things if you are going to force me to use our mind's eye," I said, distracting myself from our conversation as more of them rose.

"You need to be able to use both your mind's eye and your reactive warding together. Together, these abilities encompass all that is your shikai, your Herald's Armor," she explained, her teal eyes still locked on me. "Tell me what you know about the substitute Soul Reaper and finish learning how to use your own power."

"God damn it," I growled. "You're not going to let me go until I do, are you?"

"No," she answered in a flat tone.

I let out a frustrated sigh and closed my eyes. Was I the only one with a zanpakuto that bossed me around? Probably not, but it was damn aggravating.

"Ichigo is half Quincy and half Soul Reaper who also possesses a Hollow inside of him. Kazui is supposed to be the same way, but with his mother being a Human with extremely high spiritual pressure and unique gifts, there's no telling what sort of other powers he has. He didn't even require a Soul Reaper to kick start his Soul Reaper side. He's the only one of his kind and probably more powerful than his father ever was."

My zanpakuto was silent for a moment and her weight on me seemed to have gone completely still. Her eyes slowly drew down my face and presumably rested on her own hand. "A Quincy? That was what I had felt?"

"Maybe?" I said, my word sharp. "How the hell would I know? I don't even know what you've been doing in my body."

A sly smile turned the corner of her mouth and her gaze flicked back to meet mine. "Thank you, Herald. Now, try not to die too many more times."

And she vanished. Of course she would vanish. Ugh.


	11. She Who Holds

**Seeker**

I had been under the impression that Kazui was over exaggerating his powers when I had dove back into our inner world to deal with my Herald. He had appeared too sincere in his words, but with that calm smile and his kind eyes, I hadn't expected to be bombarded with his spiritual pressure when I had returned to my Herald's body. The walls I had set around myself were on the verge of cracking just as I reinforced them, and the floor had felt brittle forcing me to completely box myself in.

It wasn't even his attacks that were hitting my box, but the debris from the damage he was inflicting on the area. To believe that so much power could come from one man when he wasn't even trying was impossible. If I hadn't been reinforcing my Herald through our shikai she surely would have been overwhelmed and crumbled on the floor in a terrified heap. She simply wasn't ready to face this much raw power.

I had considered acting like my Herald would when faced against their spiritual pressures, but I couldn't bring myself to waste the effort on such an action when I was watching their fight. Either the two Captains weren't trying to actually defeat Kazui, or he was just that strong. Both captains had discarded their haori before they had begun their engagement to preserve the fabric, but neither of them had yet to don the masks that I was expecting to see. I could clearly sense their hollow halves just below the surface, like violence had drawn their suppressed power out. It made me wonder if they were holding back for my benefit, or if they had different intentions.

"Getsuga Tensho!" An arch of darkness flew through the air, generated by the swing of Kazui's zanpakuto. The swath of darkness sliced through a spire of earth that had been between him and Captain Yadomaru, and continued on until it finally crashed into the ground.

"You're never going to hit us with a wimpy attack like that," Captain Hirako taunted as he spun his zanpakuto around his finger in an idle gesture.

"You're the one who's wimping out. I've almost got your zanpakuto figured out after only a few days of fighting against you." Kazui replied easily as he pulled his arm back and shot another crescent of darkness at the blonde captain. It was easily dodged, leaving the crescent to crash into the ground beyond to create a large cloud of dust.

"You need to be faster. Put some of that blut crap to good use and stop being so careful," the blonde jested as he let his head tip lazily to the side.

"It's called blut vein, and it's for defense, not offense," Kazui responded as he fired off another crescent, this time directed at Captain Yadomaru. Her zanpakuto had turned into a long pole arm with a blade on one end and a weight on the other, which she used to easily deflect Kazui's attack leaving it to crash into the ground several meters away.

"You're holding back," she commented as she lunged toward him, closing the distance in two leaps.

"I was holding back," Kazui commented as he vanished in a flash step, avoiding her downward strike. She followed him with her eyes, but her momentum kept her moving towards where he had been. As soon as she passed over the point where he had been standing, darkness exploded from the ground in the shape of a star, the points extending from where his crescents had slammed into various parts of the ground. She let out a pained grunt as she was struck with the power and appeared frozen in place.

A sharp whistle started, and dropped in pitch as if to express surprise and my attention was drawn to Captain Hirako as he watched from his original place as the cross flared, growing bigger with the effort of pinning his fellow captain down. "Well, well. Someone's been training with the Quincy. How long were you waiting to spring that little trick?"

"A few days now," Kazui admitted. "I was hoping to use it on Kensei, but he wouldn't cross behind me no matter how hard I tried."

"You're a devious little fucker," Captain Hirako commented with a complimenting nod of his head.

"Thanks," Kazui said, smiling. Men...

An enraged scream emanated from Captain Yadomaru. I compared it to the furious roar of an enraged bear as the cross exploded and was overwhelmed by her spiritual pressure. The presence of her hollow had completely overtaken her own, and I realized as she stood that her face was covered by a mask. Two slits were cut into the smooth surface, allowing the gleam of her enraged eyes to shine through the darkness underneath. "I'll make you pay for that, Kazui."

"Uh-oh, now you've pissed her off," Captain Hirako murmured.

"You're not helping," Kazui commented back.

Their fighting actually started from that point on. My Herald would have been hiding in a corner had she been in the presence of three people of their calibur going against each other with as much gusto as they were. Even I was sweating under the pressure of their exertion, but I did my best to not let it show as I watched them with my mind's eye. With my barrier up and my sword plain in my hand, I didn't have to bother acting like I was watching them with my eyes. It was clear that I was using our shikai, so I took full advantage of it. I had pushed everything except their spirit energy and my reishi box from my mind so I could watch them. I had to figure out what was different between them. I had to figure out what it was that I wasn't seeing, and somehow see it.

I had no idea what I was looking for, but as their fight wore on I found myself being forced to pay more attention to my box than them. Watching them was like staring at the sun, and I had to give myself reprieve or I would damage my mind's eye. It didn't help that the constant thrum of their spirit energy was beating down on me. If I had been willing to exert an equal amount of our spiritual pressure I would have found it easy to bask in their radiation, but I wasn't willing to waste it. Even though I couldn't see the rest of the day, I had a feeling my Herald would need everything we could muster. Just maintaining our shikai wasn't a drain on our energy, not for me. If my Herald had activated our shikai, it would have been different.

A particularly strong shock wave from Captain Yadomaru's zanpakuto shook the walls of my box and I felt them crack with the force. It was a clear sign of how their power was wearing on me. I would have to do something if I wanted to-

"Alright, that's enough for today," Captain Hirako called out.

I shifted back to my normal vision and watched as their masks disappeared. On and off they had donned their masks through their practice, never appearing to leave them on longer than a few minutes. I had been so focused on watching their spirit energy that I hadn't actually seen more than Captain Yadomaru's mask, but it didn't matter to me. I hadn't seen what I needed to, but part of me had expected that. Like we had done with the Numeros, I would need to look into their spirit energy. The one problem was getting one of them to let me.

I let my box dissolve into the ground and flicked my sword away from my body. They had done quite a bit of damage to the area with their fighting. It was a miracle that after such a beating day after day, this place hadn't crumbled down. It probably had to do with whatever sort it kido they had used to create this area in the first place.

"How ya holding up?" Captain Hirako called out, drawing my attention to him.

"Fine, thank you," I said as I moved towards them. I started navigating around some of the crumbled ground, but thought better of it as I was reminded of my sword in my hand. I was appeared to be using our shikai, so I used it. Flexing our shikai just a little I took hold of the rocks that composed the ground and shoved at them, forcing the ground to settle back into the flat surface that it had once been and meld back into a single, unbroken floor.

Much better.

I slid my sword back into its sheath and replayed the display of dropping our shikai as I walked towards them. Diminished spiritual pressure, brown eyes, armor gone, sleeves returned. I wasn't forgetting anything this time. I had however, donned our full armor when I had activated our shikai. After being caught this morning with my armor in shambles, I couldn't very well go back to how my Maebure no Shukufuku had been before and my Herald would need the extra restraint with the other half of her shikai. It was a less decorative version of my own armor, sporting both shoulder pauldrons and arm guards as well as reshaping her breast plate to cover her chest, sides and lower back. She would still have vulnerable spots, but it couldn't be helped. We were never intended to be engaged in close combat.

"Watching you three fight was amazing," I said, lightening my voice to sound genuinely impressed. It had been an impressive display, but disappointing. I hadn't gotten what I expected to out of it.

"You look pretty worn out," Kazui commented as I finally came up to them.

"That's a very peculiar statement when considering what the three of you look like," I commented as I gestured to a shallow cut on Captain Hirako's chin that he had obtained early on in their practice when Kazui had chipped his mask, the tattered mess Kazui's shihakusho had become and Captain Yadomaru's cracked glasses.

"Yeah well, if we took it easy on him how would he ever get any better?" Captain Yadomaru pointed out as she shrugged. Her zanpakuto abruptly broke in two, returning to its unreleased state before she sheathed the blade in the hilt. "I'm heading back home. Can you take care of escorting her back to Toshiro's?"

"What? Why me?" Captain Hirako exclaimed as he pointed at himself.

"I got her here, and I'm tired. I also need new glasses. Are you going to pick on a girl with broken glasses?" She said, a narrowed glare aimed at her companion.

"You don't even need those glasses," he pointed out as he gestured to her face.

"They're prescription," she denied as she adjusted their perch on her nose before she turned on her heel and started walking off to where they had stashed their haori.

"Oh, bull shit. They're no better than sunglasses," he half shouted as he followed her.

"I can't see without them, and you want to pick on me."

Kazui laughed quietly as he started to follow the two captains. I had to say something. I couldn't just let my only chance slip away because it was inconvenient.

"Kazui, may I request something of you?" I asked just loud enough for him to hear.

"Depends who's asking," he replied as he turned back to look at me.

I frowned at his peculiar response and made my displeasure clear in my expression. "What does that mean?"

"You know what it means," he said with a shrug.

I stiffened and asked, "you know I am not my Herald, don't you?"

He held back a small laugh and nodded. "You're her zanpakuto, aren't you?"

I nodded. "My Herald's Captain mentioned how sharp your intuition was, but I believed you to be but a boy and oblivious to the small differences that separate my Herald and I. May I ask what gave me away?"

"Ria talks in a way that everyone can understand, and you don't bother to dumb yourself down for others," he said with a shrug. "I thought Ria was just being weird until you explained all that reishi stuff. Ria would have let me go on understanding things how I did instead of correcting me like that. She'd probably find it trivial to explain that sort of stuff. Your armor on top of that, wasn't hers. I didn't think it odd until we came down here ."

"Her armor has changed," I said before I pursed my lips, understanding what he spoke of. Trying to deny it was fruitless. Letting out a soft sigh I gave up on maintaining my lofty composure and let myself appear discouraged with our conversation as I said, "I had intended to ask you a favor as my Herald, but since you understand who I am, I doubt you would be so willing to fulfill my request."

"Something my Mom always liked to tell me was to ask my questions no matter how absurd I think they are. The worst answer I could ever get was a no."

That cheerful smile of his… what on earth was this man? An endless meatbag of cheer?

"Then I suppose I should ask," I said as I visibly steeled myself. "How much has Rangiku explained about me?"

"Oh," he said, surprised at my question. "How did you know it was Rangiku?"

"Who else would talk about my Herald in such a manner that you would be informed of my existence?"

"Good point," he mused. "I know you can see the future, and you like to physically manifest when people least expect it. You are also super protective of your master while at the same time appearing to care very little for her."

My eye twitched at his last comment, but I quickly hid it as I appeared to adjust my sleeve. Protective was a severe understatement, but due to his previous comment, I wouldn't correct him. "Is that all?"

"For the most part," he said, shrugging.

"That's relieving to hear," I grumbled, my words dripping with sarcasm. Quickly pulling myself away from thoughts of what I could do to the vivacious blonde in retaliation, I turned to fully face him. "Something she didn't mention, and may not know, is that my vision of the future is imperfect. I thought it was complete until my Herald brushed the spirit energy of a being we had never closely encountered before, and I discovered that our changing future was actually my blindness."

He shifted, the motion causing my words to stop as I noticed he looked like he wanted to say something. After a silent moment passed, he finally asked, "is that why you were pretending to be her?"

"I cannot see Arrancar. Their spirit energy is something I cannot identify on my own, and it has created blank spaces in my Herald's immediate future," I admitted, my words intentionally sounding troubled as they came out.

"Is it just Arrancar?" He asked.

I wanted to smile at his keen question, but refrained from allowing it. I had found his wit annoying and troublesome when I was trying to fool him, but now it was helping me to get what I wanted. How convenient. "No, I cannot see you nor the other Visored either. I had hoped that watching your practice would enlighten me, but I'm afraid it did little more than to make me understand how far I must go to correct my vision."

"What do you mean by that? How far you must go?" He asked, concern clear in his voice.

I glanced away from him, playing into the tone I had used with my words. "I first discovered how blind I was when my Herald looked into the core of the Numeros that we took prisoner. Touching his spirit energy with our mind's eye allowed me to see the blank spaces in time, and I fear that I will have to do it again in order to fix my sight."

"Why can't you go look at him again? I mean, you're just looking, right?" He asked.

"To look so deeply into someone, I need to completely overpower them, or to be let inside. I cannot simply force a Numeros to let me invade his reiatsu with my own. He was weakened by Mitsuji's possession when we first looked into him, and I am not strong enough to force him to allow me in again. Asking him to let me do it would be like a mouse asking the cat for safe passage."

He laughed quietly to himself before he said, "I feel like you want to ask something, but are toying with words instead."

How incredibly intuitive, it's not like I had been making it obvious or anything. "I cannot see you nor the other Visored. I feel as though seeing one would allow me to see the others, but up until now my Herald hasn't had the relationship with someone of your caliber to even consider asking."

"I guess you aren't all that concerned if you can't ask a simple question," he said with a shrug. I blinked as he turned on his heel and started walking away, waving over his shoulder as if he were leaving. Wait, was he actually leaving? He couldn't do that, I had business with him! If he left, there was no way I could fix my sight.

"W-wait, Kazui!" I started after him as I called his name and I tried to figure out what I could say to him to make him stay. I had no idea, but I had to do something. He was my only chance, the only one my Herald knew well enough to allow us-

He stopped quicker than I could react and I ended up running into his back with my out stretched hand. He turned, revealing the subtle smile that he had donned after turning away. I quickly retracted my hand back to my body and watched him for a long, silent moment. What did I say to him? Normally, I could see the future and how my conversations would best play out, but I was talking blind. I had no idea what words I could emmit that would end with an outcome that I desired.

"Ask," he suggested. He must have known that I was stuck on my words. But how to ask? I had done fine up until just now, so perhaps I needed to think more like my Herald?

I settled myself and composed my expression and posture. He was a flustering man, but it was probably why my Herald didn't mind his presence. She didn't get flustered by the kindness of other. She accepted it, and tried to return it. Accepting his request was like admitting that I hadn't been able to predict this conversation. I had never been at such a disadvantage before, but it wasn't like I had much of a choice. He knew what I wanted, he just wanted me to ask...

Do or die, as they said.

"In order to correct my sight, I need to look inside someone with powers like an Arrancar. Kazui, as a Visored, will you allow me to look inside of you?"

"Only if you say please," he said, his voice light and cheery.

Please? What sort of a request was that? Please was like begging, and that was so far outside the realm of what I did that just the thought made my lip curl with disgust. Please… but then again, this was as close as I had ever gotten to needing something from someone. My Herald and I had functioned independently for so long. She needed help to overcome her barriers, but did I? Could I really humble myself to someone like that? I was a zanpakuto asking a Human for help. That was already humbling enough, but if it was all he wanted in return I could suffer the degrading feeling for a moment.

"Please, allow me to look into you with our mind's eye, to see what it is that my future's sight cannot."

"Alright," he said as his smile grew. He must've been holding back another laugh as he said, "I didn't think you'd actually say it and mean it too. I'm a little surprised."

I could feel my face flush with embarrassment, a feeling I had never felt myself. My Herald experienced it many times before, but I had never imagined that I would. This man... "Would you have allowed me if I hadn't?"

"Of course," he said, finally emitting an open mouthed laugh.

…

I…

Ugh.

I let out a defeated sigh and let go of the irritation his laughter had caused. He was infuriating in a way that Toshiro had never been, and I had fallen for his little joke. I should have seen it, but of course I hadn't. Perhaps it was time to make him speechless in return. He was a man, and I knew exactly how my appearance affected them without having to look into the future.

Or would it? He was so strange that perhaps he wouldn't find it shocking.

I stepped free from my Herald's body in a swath of reishi that pulsed with the golden glow of our reiatsu. I made a show of manifesting in my true form, pulling the cranes from the reishi around me and placing them across the black silk. I did the same with the golden symbols that belonged to my obi and formed the ornaments that were meant to adorn my shimada. I did my best to create as much of a show as I could. Perhaps my pride demanded it, or maybe it was just a selfish need to do to him what he had done to me. Either way, I continued to let golden wasps of reishi flit through the air as I placed the golden threads of my mask over my cheeks, jaw and brows and painted my lashes with liquid gold before matching the effect with my lips and painting the curves of my ears.

Once I was done I let the excess reishi I had pulled waft down to the ground to absorb into the earth. I had caught my Herald's body with our mind's eye before she hit the ground, but as I glanced back at her I let her slowly rest on ground, curling her body on her side so she wouldn't roll forward. Once I was satisfied with her placement, I turned to Kazui, kicking the longer skirts of my kimono behind me with the movement.

"I hope you don't mind, but being in my Herald's body will only hinder me," I explained as I found his face with my eyes. Oh yes, my display had served its purpose. He was staring at me, orange eyes wide, brows lifted, and mouth slightly agape. It was the perfect shocked face that I thoroughly enjoyed seeing on the faces of others.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but his eyes flicked down to my Herald and back to me. He repeated the motion several times before he finally settled for looked me up and down, his gaze finally resting above me and most likely on the ornaments that hung from my shimada. Finally finding his words he said, "Ria had mentioned how your appearance changed with her names, but I wasn't expecting this."

"No one ever is," I said as I stepped towards him. Unlike my Herald, I didn't need to pull off our armor. I wasn't wearing it in the first place and I never had a reason to limit myself when I could suppress my power. I reached up to him, aiming to cup his face in my hands when he visually hesitated. I paused mid motion, going still so suddenly that the ornaments in my hair jingled. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"No," he said quickly. "I was just reminded that you aren't Human."

"No, I am not. Nor am I a soul," I said, frowning at his words. "Does that bother you?"

"No, it's alright," he said shaking his head. I held his gaze for a moment longer, ensuring that he wasn't just speaking words. His eyes were steady, open, trusting. It was such a foreign look that I almost couldn't believe it.

Resigning myself to his willingness, I continued reaching forward until my fingers brushed along his cheeks. Even though I was ready for him to flinch, he remained still under my touch as I cupped his cheeks in my palms. His eyes closed and he leaned into my touch. He was trusting to fault. I didn't bother to close my own eyes as I sank entirely into our mind's eye.

I pushed the world around us away, discarding the useless information as I sought out Kazui and eliminated everything else. I had taken hold of him so I could easily find him in my mind, but perhaps I should have given myself distance as darkness exploded across my mind's eye, forcing me to recoil as the shock of it seared through me. Distantly I felt pressure at my waist as if something had wrapped around me, but I ignored it as I mentally recovered and turned back. It was Kazui's spiritual pressure I had collided with, though I think I had simply been caught off guard. He felt no stronger than Toshiro had, but where her captain had been gentle and refined when he had been working with my Herald, Kazui had just been trying to be steady.

Kazui said something, but I ignored it too as I exposed myself to his spirit energy once more. It didn't slap me this time, instead just remaining like an all consuming darkness before me. No, that wasn't right. It was darkness, but it was like the comforting night sky with streaks of vibrant emerald and bursts of jade running through it. This was the sort of darkness that people found comfort enough to dream quiet dreams in. Kagetsu, that was the name he had called his zanpakuto. It was a fitting name for the color and feeling of his spirit energy. But, I wasn't here just to stand in comforted awe.

What was different from this man and so many others? Spirit energy had all sorts of colors. Toshiro's was a soft white with hints of glacier blue; Mio's a light rosy pink, before she had been taken over; and the Numeros had been like looking into a smoldering fire. Nothing had stood out as odd, I had just known that I was seeing something I had never seen before. What was it?

"Your mask calls forward your inner hollow, doesn't it?" I asked, coming back to myself enough to hear and speak.

"Yes, we put our masks to access our hollow halves, but the hollow is always there."

I let my hands slide down from his cheeks, but ensured that my fingers still had contact with his skin by letting then trail down to his neck. I returned to my normal vision to find his orange eyes peering down at me curiously. I suddenly realized what I had felt earlier was his hands holding my waist. I knew he was most likely ensuring that I wouldn't fall, but I didn't need his help like that.

"You do not need to keep me from falling. I won't swoon and fall to my knees like my Herald when she pulls her mind's eye away," I said, hoping he would understand what I was saying without making me actually say it.

His hands dropped and he muttered a quick, "sorry."

I didn't acknowledge his soft apology and instead continued to ask, "can you put your mask on without entering a shikai state?"

"Y-yeah," he said, his words broken with a stutter. "But it makes my spirit energy a lot more potent. Will you be okay?"

"I am not my Herald. I will be fine."

"I know that, but under all that finery and gold, I can still see her image in you." He didn't give me a chance to reply to him as he slipped his hand up between my arms and covered his face with his palm. I sank into my mind's eye as I felt him pull down, pulling his mask into existence.

As I looked into his spirit energy, it shifted. Like the night had suddenly been filled with terror and violence, the darkness that was him became ominous. The dark green streaks that had broken that solid black had become sparks of electric green and yellow and the sense of calm had become the sense of something watching, waiting. Yes... I felt like prey being hunted in the night.

But, I wasn't prey. I was the Seeker.

My Herald was inexperienced when it came to much of our power. Where she could only see, I could do so much more. I reached out with my mind's eye and let it run along the edge of his spirit energy, enticing the violence I felt to lash out. I could feel the anticipation welling, the concentration of power waiting to strike, but Kazui wouldn't let it. His restraint radiated like an invisible hand clamping down over his power, but it also kept me from actually touching it.

Did I need to actually touch the part of him that was a hollow? I hadn't seen anything that I hadn't before so far. Touching it was the only thing I could think of that would change something. But if I did touch it, and it lashed out, would it do more than sting? My Herald had such little interaction with hollows that I didn't know enough. If only I could have seen into the future, seen how this interaction would end…

I took a moment to debate over my options. I really didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Allowing myself to be touched in such a way wasn't what I wanted to do, but I couldn't see anything abnormal. Did I need to take it into myself to understand? I hated to admit it, but this was most likely an answer my Herald would possess. It would take too much time for me to look into the past, to see what someone else had done in similar situations. I needed to choose.

"Kazui," I said, his name sounding distant as I focused just enough on my manifestation to speak.

"Yes?" He responded immediately.

"Are you capable of relaxing your hold?" I asked, knowing he would understand what I was asking.

"I am, but he doesn't like what you're doing," he replied smoothly, referring to his hollow as my Herald referred to me, like it was a person. "If I give him slack, he will lash out."

"That's what I want," I murmured. I watched his barrier grow thin as he did what I asked and prepared myself.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice almost inaudible with my attention focused on my mind's eye. His barrier was so thin that I could almost see the surface of it rippling with pressure from the other side. Indeed, he was just waiting to lash out…

"Do it," I ordered.

A hole ruptured in Kazui barrier, and as I expected, darkness shot out like an arrow aiming for me. For a moment I hesitated, unsure of how hard I needed to actually get hit. If I was right, I only needed to brush it, but if I wasn't and I needed more… It only took me that small hesitation to move, giving me just enough time to take a glancing blow. Searing pain shot down my side, but I pushed the pain aside as I latched into the darkness with my mind's eye. I realized then that it wasn't an arrow that had clipped me, but an arm that had stretched out from Kazui's hold. I didn't let the surprise of it hinder me, and gripped it tighter. I opened myself to the feeling, letting its violent energy roll over my mind.

Click…

Like finding a switch in the darkness, I felt my future sight shift. I had done something, but I wouldn't know exactly what until I could look into the future.

An alien scream rocked my mind's eye, the sound like nothing I had heard before. It was piercing and painful in its volume and it had come so quickly that I couldn't brace myself for its impact. Disoriented, I could do nothing as my hold on the arm was broken and it reared back. I glanced up, the darkness looming over like bear on its hind legs. He was trying to chase me out or kill me, I could feel it in the unseen eyes of Kazui's spiritual pressure.

I saw the impending strike from the darkness before it hit me and I threw myself back from Kazui, breaking the connection our touch had created. I didn't bother looking around with my eyes once I came completely back to my self. Without wasting any time, I set my gaze on the future, searching for the immediate events that had once been blank to me. Without my inner world or Shika no Shiryoku to help me focus, my vision was dim… dim, but there. I could see. I could see!

"You're bleeding."

Kazui's voice pulled me back from my sight, and I blinked up at him almost dumbly. The concerned orange eyes I had expected to see met mine, but the mask that covered the rest of his features was unexpected. I had been too busy focusing in his spirit energy when he had donned it earlier to actually look at the black mask. I had never seen a hollow with a black mask before, but the white streaks that ran in patterns away from his eyes were reminiscent of the other Visored. The mask as a whole was shaped much like a normal face, but it was situated in layers. The top most layer accentuated his jaw and flowed up to smooth over his cheeks, temples and brows. Like holes had been cut before the next layer shown, his mouth, nose and forehead were layered next followed by the final layer that left holes for his eyes. The edges of each layer were accented white, keeping his mask from looking gaunt, but the effect wasn't any less diminished. He looked menacing, the features of his face overly exaggerated and sharp.

"Why are you bleeding?" He asked, distracting me from my observations.

That was right, I had been struck. I glanced down at myself to see that the left side of my obi had grown darker with blood as it soaked through my clothing. It must have been a deep wound if it was already showing through three layers of kimono and several more of my obi.

"I let your hollow strike my mind's eye. Wounds on my half of our mind's eye directly reflect on my manifestation, whereas they represent themselves as an injury to my Herald's mind on her half," I explained as I drew reishi from the ground and ran golden stitches of reishi along my skin. I knew he wouldn't see what I was doing since it was all under my kimono, so I did my best to keep my face blank as I worked. His hollow had gotten me better than I had thought.

No matter.

"Thank you, Kazui Kurosaki. I must return to our inner world now, to figure out what you have allowed me to see before something happens that will adversely affect my Herald." I bowed to him, stooping low with formality. The motion hurt, but the relief that was coursing through me made me almost giddy and carefree.

"Wait," he said, stopping me just as I was about to vanish. I lifted my gaze and slowly rose from my bow, showing him that I was listening. He had raised a hand as if to reach out to me, but it had stopped only half lifted. He dropped his hand as he continued, "I know you're Ria's zanpakuto, but I don't even know your name."

I quirked a brow at him and glanced back at my Herald's body that was still lying behind me. Had she really not spoken my name to him, or had he forgotten? It didn't really matter though. I turned back to him to find his mask was gone, leaving his just his face to almost suprise me. I didn't let it give me pause as I said, "Tankyu no Unmei."

"Do you have another name? Something easier to remember maybe?" he asked.

"I am a zanpakuto. That is my name," I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You don't have a nickname or something?" He asked. Was he really surprised? Humans…

"Seeker will suffice." I vanished with that word, returning to our inner world where I knew my Herald was still lingering. I didn't bother interacting with her as I ejected her from our inner world. She had done enough, and leaving her in our inner world as I searched the future was as good as violating every rule I had ever made.

I had work to do.

**Herald**

Sometimes, I hated my zanpakuto. Like, really hated her. I had been in the middle of recovering from another killing blow when I had been ripped away and tossed into the ether. It had been disorienting and stomach churning in its suddenness, and I had ended up sprawled across the ground. Well, sprawled was probably an exaggeration. I felt more like I had been placed in a very particular position. Lying on my right side had always been uncomfortable, but even without moving I could feel the weight of my zanpakuto at my hip and the pressure of an obi wrapped tightly around me.

...

An obi?

What the hell was I wearing?

I sat up slowly, blinking like my eyes had been closed for sometime and looked down at myself. My zanpakuto had certainly dressed me today. This kimono was so delicate I wouldn't have worn it unless there was some sort of special occasion. Instead, she had me lying in the dirt with it on. She probably had thought this was casual wear with the outfits she liked to dress up in.

"Ria?" Kazui's voice came from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to find him as he took a knee behind me. Concern was plain in his eyes, and I instantly started wondering what my zanpakuto had been up to.

"What did she do?" I asked.

"So it is you," he commented as he held his hand out to me. I took it and let him help me to my feet more than I would have normally needed in order to not drag the silk kimono through the dirt any more than it already had been. I lost my balance when I discovered I was wearing geta instead of sandals, but he caught me mid fall and held me upright as I looked down at myself. My body felt exhausted and weary, like I had been running for hours despite the clear evidence that I had not been. What had my zanpakuto been up to? She was such a pain…

"Where are we?" I asked as I glanced around at the area. I had never seen such a place before. I would have guessed we were on the outskirts of the Rukon Districts, but there was no wind, no heat to the sun overhead and instead of a limitless sky it felt like the horizon was the end. It was such a strange place.

"It's a training area developed by Kisuke and Yoruichi. They've got a few of these lingering around from their time as Captain's, so the Visored took this one for their private training area," he explained.

I pictured the blonde shop owner and the black cat with his words. I still had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I had been scratching a princess behind the ears.

"Clearly my zanpakuto was galavanting around in my body. I hope she didn't do anything weird," I commented as I turned my attention back to him. Seeing his eyes, I added, "why do you look so worried?"

"Your zanpakuto was injured," he said, concern leaking into his voice.

"Good, she deserves it after what she put me through," I commented as I waved off his words. I was irritated with her, and I didn't want to be thinking about her… but still. If my body felt like it was going to give out on me, she was probably in the same boat.

'Tankyu no Unmei,' I called out to her in my mind.

'I have things to do Herald, and so do you,' she said, irritation darkening her voice.

'You're injured?' I asked, choosing to risk her wrath instead of letting her be.

'She who holds,' she said, completely changing the subject.

'You can see?' I asked, letting her get away with changing the subject.

'Some of it. I am still working through the events that I normally have days to sorts through.' She let out a sigh. 'Don't do anything stupid, Herald. I may not see it in time to give you a more accurate name.'

That was comforting advice.

"She's fine," I finally concluded. "Whatever she did cleared her vision. So I'm sure she cares very little about anything else right now."

"Did she give you a name?" He asked, surprising me a little.

"She Who Holds," I said slowly. I narrowed my eyes at him as I tried to figure out what my zanpakuto had been doing. He had known that she wasn't me, he was concerned about her, and she had fixed her sight… I shook my head, dropping the train of thought I had been going down. "Do you know what time it is?"

"No, I have no idea," Kazui said as he looked up at the sky. "It always looks the same down here, no matter the time of day."

"How do we get out?" I asked as I looked around. For some reason, I felt like I had to know. Inside my inner world it had felt like hours had passed, but I had no idea if that was true or not. If it was already late, then something was about to happen. I hadn't done anything that would even remotely satisfy the name my zanpakuto had given me. She Who Holds… What kind of name was that?

"Up there," Kazui said as he stepped forward and pointed up. I didn't see anything but a black spot up in the blue sky. I gave him a skeptical glance from the corner of my eye.

"A speck in the sky?"

"It's a shaft that leads up to the Squad 5 compound," he said with shrug. "I'm surprised you haven't been in one of these areas before."

"Squad 10's main training area is outside the Rukon districts, where we can't hurt anyone with our spiritual pressure," I replied as I started walking towards the speck in the sky. I would have to flash step to get up there, but the angle and this kimono… I would probably tear the fabric. I felt too unsteady to make it without taking liberal steps.

"I can carry you if you're unsure about it," Kazui offered. "I know it was your zanpakuto controlling your body, but she looked rather worn out after watching our practicing. I think our combined spiritual pressure was too much for her."

"Don't let her hear you say that," I said with a small laugh. "She's got an ego like a fluffy white cat. Even suggest she's got a stripe in her fur and she'll claw your eyes out."

That explained why I was so tired though.

"I take that as a yes?" He asked.

I turned back to him and nodded. "I don't mean to be a burden, but thank you."

"You're fine," he said with a smile just before he ducked down. I only had a second to see his hands grab my hips before he lifted me up and threw me over his shoulder. I let out a noise of surprise. I had grown so used to how Toshiro normally carried me that I hadn't been expecting to be lugged around like a sack of flour.

"Oi, what are you two up to?" An unfamiliar voice called out. I rested my hands on Kazui's lower back so I could lift my head up high enough to look over my backside. Captain Hirako was walking towards us, his full captain's garb donned and sheathed zanpakuto in hand.

"Getting ready to head top side," Kazui said as he gestured up with his free hand.

"And you're carrying her?" He asked, the skepticism in his voice clear.

"She's afraid of ripping her kimono," Kazui stated with a small laugh.

"My zanpakuto is such a pain," I grumbled as I settled back down, resting my elbows on his back so I could prop my chin on my hands.

"Whatever that means," Captain Hirako said. I could just hear the eye rolling shrug that stemmed from those words. "Lisa left already, so I'll escort you two back to Squad 10."

"Thanks," Kazui replied. He bounced me on his shoulder like he was adjusting my position, making my hand pop out from under my chin and air whoosh out of my lungs. "You alright?"

"I get the feeling you've asked me that a lot today," I commented breathily as I felt his arm wrap securely over my legs.

"Yeah," he said with a chuckle before he took off. I curled as best as I could into him, fighting with the stiffness of my obI. I noticed then the jingling of my kanzashi and quickly covered it with my hand only to notice it wasn't where it normally rested. Oh geeze, she had messed with my hair too. I was never letting her borrow my body again.

It took Kazui only a minute to get to the entrance of the 'shaft' as he had called it, and to emerge on the surface. To my dismay, the world was darkening with night. It started getting dark around seven and total darkness was nearer to eight-thirty this time of year. That was only a few hours until midnight.

"Captain!" An almost desperate sounding female voice shouted after only a second of us having emerged from the shaft. Kazui turned with the voice, swinging me around so fast the blood rushed to my face. "I have been looking for you for hours now!"

"You couldn't find the entrance again, could you Momo?" Captain Hirako responded, his tone sounding bored. I perked up at his words. Momo…?

"I never go down there, so of course I couldn't find it," she replied. "You and Captain Yadomaru missed the Emergency Captain's meeting. We were supposed to be at the Kasumioji Clan senkaimon almost two hours ago!"

"If it was that important, why didn't you just send a hell butterfly?"

"I did, but it just spun around here for twenty minutes before I sent it back. I've been trying to find the entrance ever since, but you changed the barrier. Again."

"I had to," he replied. "With the beating the training area has taken lately, I had to change it or people would have started falling down when they walked over the entrance. I don't think you'd want to find Squad Member pancakes when someone went missing, right?"

Lieutenant Ogido let out a rough, unamused sigh. "You could have marked it at least. Hachi would have done that and more."

"Yeah, well Hachi stayed in the World of the Living with Hiyori and Love. We can only get him here on special occasions so you'll have to make do with my barriers until then."

As their conversation continued on, I did my best to stay completely still. I had never really spoken to Lieutenant Ogido outside of squad business and now that I knew about the history between her and Toshiro, I wasn't sure if I wanted to engage with her. She had to know that Toshiro and I were seeing each other and the thought of her trying to confront me about it was an event I wasn't really will to participate in. I wasn't exactly mad at her for their history, but if we got into a conversation about it, I couldn't promise my words would be friendly. It was probably petty to think that way, but it was true.

"We need to get going Captain," she said after they had exchanged several words. "There's two Captains stationed at every senkaimon in the Seireitei. Thankfully, nothing has happened yet or Captain Rose would have been on his own."

"He'd be fine," Captain Hirako said, waving her words off dismissively. "What are we all in a panic for anyway?"

"I-I don't know," she admitted quickly before continuing on to say, "but I'm sure Captain Rose can explain it. The hell butterfly I received just said to report to the Kasumioji Clan senkaimon."

"That's odd," Kazui commented as his arm around my legs tensed.

"Oh, Kazui! I'm sorry, I didn't even realize you were here," she said, sounding genuinely apologetic. "A-are you carrying someone?

"It's alright. You seem pretty worked up," he said, ignoring her question. "Can you tell me something though?"

"Um, I suppose?"

"Are they guarding the Senkaimon because they expect someone to be coming through?"

"Really? That's your question?" Captain Hirako asked. "Why else would we be assigned to guard the senkaimon?"

"I know what's happening then," Kazui said and I felt him nod. "We need to send a hell butterfly to my dad. Now."

"Ichigo?" Lieutenant Ogido asked.

"He's at the Shiba Clan with Kukaku and Ganju. Can you send word to him, Momo? Tell him, he's coming."

"What? Who's coming?" Her voice was higher this time with confusion.

"Thanks Momo," Kazui said, taking her question for the acceptance it wasn't. "Shinji, I think I know where they are going to pop out of precipice world. If I'm right, no one is the right place and we need to rearrange."

"Someone sounds like he knows what's going on," Captain Hirako mused.

"Maybe. I don't understand how anyone knows what is happening, but I do know what has been happening in the world of the living. It's the reason why my Dad and I came here," he said before he turned quickly, spinning me around so fast that my head kept spinning when he stopped. "There's several doors that lead into the precipice world, but only a few of them lead into the Soul Society while even fewer lead into the Seireitei. There's only two of them that I know of in fact, so we should be looking about half a mile east of Squad 12 just outside their warehouse district and the other is on top of Sokyoku Hill."

I could feel him gesturing towards the places he was speaking of as I shook my head, trying to clear the blood rush that his speedy movements had caused. I unfurled from my curl against his back and brushed a few strands of loose hair from my face as I tried to put up and down back into their rightful places. Blinking, I lifted my head to look around and was instantly caught by Lieutenant Ogido's surprised, dark chocolate eyes.

"Yamamoto?"

It had been a good while since I had seen her, but she had gone pretty much unchanged. Her hair was dark brown, almost black and she had it pulled back into a clip, leaving her bangs and several strands of hair that were too short for her clip to frame her face. Her eyes were large, showing her vibrant youth in a way that made her look younger than I would have guessed her to be. She wore the standard shihakusho unlike a lot of the other lieutenants and myself who chose to alter their uniforms. I smiled nervously at her, but didn't have a chance to say anything as Kazui continued talking.

"If I had to guess, he's going to pop out on the hill. The entrance is the easier one of the two to find, and assuming he's using a garganta to traverse the precipice work, he'll be able to open it almost inside the Seireitei, or it will appear that way. The door ways into the precipice world are pretty much non-existent unless you know what you're looking for, so trying to block it is impossible. I can take the hill if you can get the one by Squad 12. Grimmjow likes to fight, so I can keep him distracted for a while."

"Grimmjow? Why the hell is an Espada coming here? That's just asking to get killed," Captain Hirako commented.

"My Dad came here because he wants to avoid anyone killing each other, which as you know takes a lot more power than some people have. I can handle him for a while, until we can get some sense through his thick skull." He bent forward and set me on my feet so quickly that I had to hold onto him for a moment for balance as he stood back up. His hands stayed on my obi, steadying me as he said, "I'm supposed to be looking after you, but under the circumstances, being with me will only put you in harm's way."

"Quit worrying about me," I said as I pulled my hands away from him and shooed him away. "You said your father only came here to prevent our engagement with the Espada. I'd say that's a bit more important than babysitting me."

He nodded in understanding and turned before vanishing in a flash step. Almost the exact instant that he vanished a strange sensation rolled over me, drawing me to turn in the direction of the source. Kazui emerged from his flash step about twenty feet away, his gaze also turned in the same direction.

"What is that?" I asked.

"A garganta," Kazui and Captain Hirako said in unison.

"Come on Momo," Captain Hirako said just before he took off.

"Right," she replied as she too vanished. I tracked their spiritual pressure as they moved towards the named garganta for a moment before I glanced over to Kazui. He was watching me, the look on his face saying he was deep in thought.

"If I leave you here, will you actually stay put?" He asked.

I wanted to lie to him and tell him yes, but instead I shook my head. "No, I'll follow."

"If we had time, I would argue with you, but we don't," he said as he moved towards me. "I'll bet I'm faster than you at flash step."

"You'd probably be right," I replied as I turned, seeing his intent to pick me up. I slipped my arm over his shoulder just as he ducked and swept me off my feet, barely allowing me to settle in his grip before he took off. I clasped my free hand over my kanzashi to keep it from falling off as I looked to where we were going. The world was flying by so quickly that I could only make out Sokyoku hill in the distance as we sped towards it. The hill had once been almost three times as tall and surrounded by the repentance towers, but after the Quincy invasion it had nearly leveled by falling debris from the Soul King's Palace. Now, it remained as one of the largest expanses of unused territory within the Seireitei.

"Hold on," I heard Kazui warn me before he shifted, drawing my legs higher in his arms as he covered his face with his hand. Drawing down, a mask materialized over his features as his hand moved. I openly gaped at him, but was jerked out of my surprise when his spiritual pressure spike and he shot through the sky like he hadn't even been trying to flash step before. The movement caught me off guard and my head slammed into his shoulder with the force. It didn't hurt, but for the briefest of moments I was unable to move or react with his force of movement pinning me against him.

Kazui's must have reached wherever he was going, because his feet caught the ground and I closed my eyes as he pulled me tighter against him. He must have slid a good twenty feet before his traction was finally enough to stop his progress, jerking us to a halt. I was pretty sure I would have bruises in the shape of his hands, but I didn't complain as he wasted no time in setting me on my feet and stepping around me.

I turned only a moment after him to find he had stopped just behind me, his body blocking my view of a large dust cloud that must have been a dozen meters away. I moved closer to Kazui and leaned slightly to the side, looking around his shoulder to see three figures in the dust, all of them appearing human shaped despite their varied sizes.

"Took you long enough," a small, childlike voice griped, her voice echoing over the area.

"Shut up, I don't even know why you're here. Go back to Hueco Mundo." A severely more irritated male voice replied.

"No!" the child responded. "Nel wants to see Ichigo."

"I told you, Ichigo is in the World of the Living," the man replied in a half shout.

"Nel knows! That's why Nel is here."

"This is the Soul Society you twat!"

"What?" the child gasped, her voice dragging out the word. "Why is Nel here? Nel wants to go see Ichigo!"

"You were supposed to stay in Hueco Mundo!"

There was a loud thump followed by a loud cry from the child that dragged out into a loud, grating whine. "Why did you hit Nel?"

"Enough," a sultry female voice interjected, interrupting their bickering.

"Yeah, I know," the male commented as the dust finally settled.

The three people who stood on the rubble didn't appear to be anything special, but they certainly were odd looking. I had expected them to look like Luien or the other three Arrancars that I had seen in Squad 12's facility, but instead the three looked like a dysfunctional family. The man I had heard was standing just to the side of the woman who had stopped the bickering between him and the child that was clinging to the left leg of the woman.

I was far enough away that I couldn't see their expressions, but I could make out the rest of them. They were dressed mostly in white and black, their outfits resembling that of the inverted shihakusho that the other arrancar wore. Even the child was wearing it, the shirt and pants so baggy on her tiny frame that they looked like they were intended for an adult. The mask that covered the top of her head appeared broken even from this distance. The man was wearing the most black in the group, his black hakama partially covered by the extra length of the very Human looking black shirt that he wore under his short white jacket. The woman was probably the most normal out of them. Dressed in a short jacket that left her midriff exposed, she had it pulled close around her body without it actually being pulled closed. She wore black shorts that stopped just below the roundness of her butt, leaving her legs bare until white boots that came up to her knees interrupted the long line of skin. Her mask covered her entire lower jaw and neck, disappearing under the fabric of her shirt.

Captain Hirako emerged from his flash step a few feet away from us, closely followed my Lieutenant Ogido. They wasted little time in assessing the situation and turning to face the three across the flat expanse.

"Espada, what business do you have coming here to the Soul Society?" Captain Hirako said loud enough that his voice carried clearly to me.

"You have my Fracciones," the man replied as he pointed a finger at him. "And I want him back."

"That's no reason to go busting in," Captain Hirako said with a sigh. "Look at the mess you three made. This dust is going to take forever to settle."

"Just how many Soul Reapers do I have to kill to get my message across?" the man asked, completely disregarding Captain Hirako's words. My eyes widened. He was Grimmjow, the one who had attacked our combat team.

Just as that thought crossed my mind I felt Toshiro's spiritual pressure just before he too dropped from a flash step on the other side of Kazui and I. I turned and met his eyes as he too took in the situation, his gaze sliding away from mine to find the other people in the area until he found the three across the clearing.

"Hey, I don't have him," Captain Hirako deflected without a thought as he neglected to acknowledge Toshiro's arrival.

"But he knows who does," Grimmjow accused as he shifted his attention to Toshiro. "Don't you, Captain?"

"We aren't going to be making any deals," Toshiro said, his voice clipped and sharp. "Go back to Hueco Mundo and maybe I won't kill you."

"That's not going to happen," Grimmjow sneered.

"Are you looking for a fight or something? 'Cause if you are I can go get someone to entertain you," Captain Hirako jested as he made a gesture towards the rest of the Seireitei.

Grimmjow started to reply, but the blonde woman at his side raised her hand, interrupting him. Their eyes met and a challenge passed between them. He let out a grunt of disapproval and stepped back, allowing the woman to stand in front of them. Her blue eyes drew away from watching her comrade to shifting between Captain Hirako, Toshiro and Kazui.

"Captain Hitsugaya, Shinji, Kazui," she said as she bowed her head at them with recognition.

"Hallibel," Toshiro said, regarding the Espada. "I wouldn't have expected you to be backing Grimmjow."

"If we were here just for his Fracciones, I wouldn't. But, I know one of your fellow captains has been keeping some of our Numeros as pets," her words had a bite to them despite her unchanging expression. "If it was just those three that he had, I wouldn't get involved either, but his collecting of our people is becoming a far more common occurrence that needs to stop."

"Well, we can't exactly tell him to let them go. Have you met Captain Kurotsuchi?" Captain Hirako said in a joking tone. I knew he wasn't joking, but did they?

"No, I have not," she replied as her steady blue eyes slid off to the side, seeing something that I wasn't tracking. "As such, we have taken precautions to ensure that we get what we want."

I felt three bodies move into the area just before they appeared behind the Espada, their backs facing us. No… it was six bodies. Three female Arrancar stood straight as they turned to look at us over their shoulders. Each one of them was carrying the body of a Soul Reaper under their arm or over a shoulder.

All of us seemed to startle in one way or another, but everyone but me seemed to step forward as if to jump into action.

"You don't want to do this Hallibel," Kazui said, finally getting involved in the conversation. "You had avoided conflict with the Soul Society for over almost three decades. Why would you break that peace for this?"

"I have stood idle for too long," she replied. "Out of respect for your father, I will leave you out of this conflict if you do not engage."

"You know I can't do that," Kazui replied as he reached back for his zanpakuto.

"Kazui?" The little girl asked, her voice loud as it carried clearly across the area. She ran forward like an over eager and naive child, until she was almost half-way between our two groups. "Kazui! It is you!"

"Nel," he replied with surprise. "What are you doing here, and in your child form?"

"Nel came to see Ichigo!" She cheered before bounding across the distance that separated her from us. She didn't even hesitate to throw herself at Kazui. He quickly released the hilt of his zanpakuto before she hit him, and I barely stepped to the side in time to avoid them as her weight took Kazui backwards and onto the ground. "Nel missed Kazui too though. It's been ages since Nel got to play with Kazui."

"Nel, get off me," Kazui urged as he fought to push the green haired girl off. She was set on hanging onto him though, and she cheered like his attempts to remove her were a game.

"Release them Hallibel," Toshiro demanded, unphased by the tiny Espada's actions as he drew his zanpakuto and his spiritual pressure began to rise. "They have nothing to do with your Numeros."

I felt the strange sensation that I had earlier through their raised spiritual pressures and felt my heart sink. They were opening the garganta, their doorway back into Hueco Mundo. I watched the door way slide open, the edges of it looking massive and uneven like crooked teeth as it gaped wide behind them.

"A tit for tat," Hallibel said as her Fracciones stepped through the doorway, carrying with them the three Soul Reapers. "You give us our Numeros, and we will give you back your Soul Reapers."

Toshiro's spiritual pressure exploded, startling me enough that I jumped. Mist washed over the area as ice slicked across the ground, spreading away from him in a rush of power. If I had just been just a little further away he would have been invisible in the dense fog that surrounded him, but from only a few feet away I could see Hyorinmaru's ice as it slid down his skin, coating his arms and neck in the scale like shards of ice. The sheath on his back turned to ice and his wings slid from it like they had been hiding there all along. Ice clung to his hair, growing in size until a crown like display of spikes and shards was around his head. I knew there was more to his bankai, but he didn't wait for it to form. He charged the Espada, his wings beating so fast that they were a blur as a power yell ripped from his throat and he raised his zanpakuto to strike.

"Destroy," Hallibel's voice shouted as she drew her own sword and pointed it at Toshiro's speeding form. "Trident!"

Three beams of light shot from her. Toshiro swerved, dodging two of them with ease, but the third caught his wing, slashing through the ice like it was paper. He crashed to the ground before reaching them, but rolled with his momentum and came to his feet.

"Hyoryu Senbi!" He shouted, his sword lashing out to create a crescent of ice that shot towards Hallibel.

"Hirviendo!" She countered, pointing her sword at the crescent of ice that was racing towards her. In an instant, the ice melted and dispersed around her in a steaming cloud. She stepped back, her body sliding past the opening of the garganta.

"No," Toshiro screamed as he lashed out again, sending shards of ice shooting at them. Hallibel deflected them once more, the ice melting and dispersing before it could reach her.

My heart was in my chest, the pounding rattling my nerves. I had to do something. I couldn't just sit here and watch as they took our people. I drew my zanpakuto and wordlessly called out my shikai. Compared to the other people in the area, my own presence was minimal even as my armor materialized around me. The plates felt different, almost heavier and balanced different, but I didn't let it distract me as I slipped into my mind's eye. The garganta stood out like the sun in my mind's eye, its concentration of reishi far more dense than the world around us.

I couldn't help but to smile a little. Just like everything else in this world, the garganta was made of reishi, and that meant I could control it. I went to the garganta with my mind's eye and took hold of its edges. Pulling at it, I forced its progress to stop then reverse to slowly reopen. I let out a long breath as I eased the doorway to fully open and held it. It was almost easy, I just had to maintain it.

"Yamamoto?" Lieutenant Ogido said my name in surprise.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant, I couldn't stay back and watch," I said as I turned to look at her with sightless eyes.

"Did you stop the garganta?"

"Yes," I replied. "It's not a problem at the moment, but I don't know if it will stay that way."

"Can you hold it as is?" she asked, an idea forming in her words.

"Ye-" I cut myself off as I heard voices through my mind's eye.

"Grimmjow, close the damn thing already," one of Hallibel's Fracciones said in an irritated tone.

"What the hell?" Grimmjow said as I saw him turn on the other side of the garganta. "It should have."

Grimmjow's spiritual pressure flushed through the edges of the garganta and I felt my control slip as it started to close again. I pushed more of my reiatsu into it, but it was like trying to hold a blade's edge with my hands as his spiritual pressure grinded against mine. He was so much more than I was, and the garganta slowly started to slide closed. I had a feeling that he wasn't even trying to push his power into the garganta while I was struggling to push everything I had into it. I needed more power. I wasn't strong enough to do more than slow it.

"I can get them, just keep it open," she said quickly just before she took off towards the doorway.

"No! I can't… I can't hold it," I said, my voice fading as I realized that she hadn't and wouldn't hear anything I would say. She was too far away, her form only visible to my mind's eye as she moved in a flash step. I had no choice. I had to hold it open or both Lieutenant Ogido and the other Soul Reapers would be the Arrancar's prisoners.

Hastily I forced my breast plate, obi and thigh plates from my body and felt the rush of power that overcame me. I fell to my knees as I forced my reiatsu to overtake the Espada's and pulled control of the garganta away from him. I hadn't realized that it was his construct, but I understood that now. He would try to take control back, I just had to keep it from him as long as I could.

"Grimmjow! Close the Garganta," Hallibel shouted angrily as she shot a stream of water from her sword towards Toshiro.

"What do you think I'm doing?" he growled in response.

"No, Momo!" Toshiro shouted as I felt Lieutenant Ogido pass through the garganta and dropped from her flash step beside the Numeros. Their surprised sounds were cut short when she threw something at them that exploded in a flash of white light.

"Tobiume, snap!" Lieutenant Ogido shouted as fire exploded around them, turning from fireballs to full on explosions that rocked my mind's eye. The garganta started to slip from my control as I tried to right myself, but I shook it off and narrowed my vision. I had to limit my focus and concentrate on keeping the garganta open. Watching her while she was fighting so close to my mind's eye would just knock my concentration askew.

Toshiro's spiritual pressure passed through the garganta and my heart dropped despite my boxed up emotions. He had gone after her. I should have known that he would, but the sense of urgency that crept through me came was the realization that if I let the garganta close, I may never see him again. I didn't know what was beyond that gaping mouth of an entrance besides the two Espada and their soliders.

"Grimmjow!" Hallibel called out as I felt her and Toshiro collide.

"Oh shut up. I don't know what the fuck is going on," the male Espada snapped. His reiatsu smashed against mine and I cringed with the blow. He was stronger than me, but I already had his garganta. He would have to take it back before he could close it. I just prayed that Lieutenant Ogido and Toshiro would be on this side when it did.

"There you are," he said, his tone lightening with pleasure. His reiatsu withdrew from trying to push me out and I had a moment to wonder about his words. Who was he talking about?

"Cero," he purred, the word sliding out of him like the name of a loved one.

I felt the ball of energy shoot pass the garganta before I realized what he had done. I left enough of myself at the garganta to keep it from closing and came back to my body. The ball of blue light was speeding straight for me. I... I couldn't do anything about it. There wasn't any time. I turned my body, bringing my arm up to cover my head so my remaining armor would take the blow and maybe-

It hit me. I had never felt anything like it before. The cero rushed over my body like a burning stream, the sensation akin to diving into a frozen, boiling lake of his reiatsu. I pushed the pain away as best as I could, shoving the sensations coming from my body into a box and trying to ignore it. I wasn't going to die, but my body wouldn't believe it. My skin was on fire, my armor feeling even hotter against my skin. It made my head light and my stomach nauseous with the pain.

Finally, it stopped. It had felt like minutes had gone by instead of seconds. My body ached and my skin tingled numbly wherever it was exposed, but otherwise I was alive. I realized as I dropped my arm from where I had taken refuge behind my armor that it had hurt far worse than it had actually done damage. My gaze drew across the ground until I found the bottom of the garganta, but I didn't have a chance to see anything else as I met Grimmjow's menace filled eyes. He held my gaze once he knew I was looking at him and his head tilted down, casting a shadow across his face leaving only his eyes to glow with an inner light.

I... saw my death in his azure eyes.

He didn't have to say anything, the look expressing that I was nothing but prey and he was the predator. A hungry predator. I was going to die, and he was going to enjoy eating me. My body began to shake with the realization, but I kept my emotions back. I couldn't let them get in the way. I had to hold the garganta open until I couldn't any more. Toshiro and Lieutenant Ogido were in there and if I let it slip, let is close...

Grimmjow stepped out from the garganta, his feet taking him to several yards outside of his doorway.

"I'm going to kill you. You know that, right?"

I couldn't seem to make any words as my breath hitched in my throat. My gaze flicked to the garganta behind him, seeing flashes of light coming from the darkness inside.

"Oh, you think they will come back out in time?" he mused. His spiritual pressure slammed into the garganta, almost bucking me free from the reishi that made it. I scrambled to gain it back, feeling it start to close once more as he pushed. I ripped my shoulder pauldron off just before I sent my mind's eye completely to the garganta and nearly lost control of my body as I slumped to the side and my weight rested on my arm. He was forcing more of himself than before and I could feel him sawing through my control.

"You're not even a Lieutenant and you thought you could challenge an Espada," he spat out as I felt his spiritual pressure spike. This time, it wasn't aimed at the garganta.

"That's enough, Grimmjow," Captain Hirako's voice said from near my body. "She isn't the one you're after."

"You're one to talk," the Espada snapped. "You don't even seem to care that your Lieutenant is fighting the same Numeros that defeated her years before."

"She'll be fine," he said dismissively. "Just go on back to Hueco Mundo already."

"You don't care that we have your Soul Reapers as prisoners?"

"If you had come here alone, I might be. But, you came with Tier Hallibel and her Fracciones. She will treat them like Soul Reapers, a people whom she wishes to maintain a working relationship with, and not just prisoners."

Grimmjow scoffed and started to retort, but an enraged scream from the garganta interrupted him. He growled and I felt him pass back through the opening, chasing after a foreign power that had come to life inside. His spiritual pressure spiked once more and I buckled under the pressure.

"Hold it, Yamamoto," Captain Hirako said gently as I felt his hand rest on my shoulder. "Give them just a minute more."

"H-He's too much," I managed to get out despite my attention being focused on the garganta.

"If he's too much, I lose my Lieutenant and you lose your Captain. Hold it."

I already knew that, but I was losing. He was going to cut through my control. There was no way, the garganta was already halfway shut, leaving just enough height for someone to pass but still slowly closing. I couldn't stop it.

"Hold it, Yamamoto," he ordered, his voice losing any of the lackluster flare that it normally had. "Quit holding back. You know you have more. Everyone in the Seireitei knows you have more."

As it was, I couldn't hold it for long. But, the garganta wasn't the fastest closing thing on its own. It wasn't going to slam shut as soon as I let it go. So long as I came back to it before it fully closed, I could force it open and if I could put more of my reiatsu into the garganta before Grimmjow could react, I could keep it that way for a while.

Hopefully...

I dropped my mind's eye and came back to my body. My joints protested as I came to my feet, but I forced the pain back and flash stepped forward. I looked down at myself and realized that my armor wasn't the same as before. I had more of it - a lot more of it. I must have been wearing my zanpakuto's armor, but I didn't know when I had gotten it.

But, that didn't matter.

She had told me with more power came more restraint, and for me that meant more armor.

I focused on the garganta as I understood what I needed to do. I peeled my armor off on plate at a time as I let my mind's eye slip from my body. I stripped every piece of armor from my body until the only thing that remained was the hand guard that covered my sword hand. I thought about hesitating when I considered what it meant to be without armor, but shook it off as I let it melt away to join the flecks of reishi that my armor had created.

As soon as the metal left my skin, my mind's eye exploded.

My feet stopped working as my emotions hit me in a wave of despair that brought me to my hands and knees in front of the garganta. Oh gods... I was terrified. Grimmjow... He would have killed me and not even blinked. I had never met someone so filled with violence. His eyes were almost the same color as Toshiro's, but I had never seen such menace before. I replayed the feeling of his cero as it burned along my skin, recalling more detail than I had at the time. My armor had been so hot that it had burned my skin, but looking down at my hands, I could see how my skin was reddened where it wasn't covered by armor. It had just been his spiritual pressure, not actual fire. It should have killed me. I shouldn't have been alive.

'Herald…'

I lost myself in the torrent of thoughts that slammed into me. Fear amplified by images and voices completely took me over. My mind's eye reacted to my thoughts, pulling reishi from the world around me and turning it into golden bits of reishi that hovered around me, shifting and swirling to become patterns in the likeness of my memories.

'Remember the emptiness,' my zanpakuto's soft voice sounded over the noise of the the thoughts running through my head. I focused on her voice, but I couldn't seem to separate myself from my thoughts. They swarmed through me, consuming my mind.

'You must react, Herald. If your emotions control you, you will die.'

That was right, she had taught me that lesson… I took in a long, dragging breath and forced the thoughts from my mind. There would be time for fear and tears later. I needed to keep a clear head, focus on the task at hand. I had a purpose, and I needed to fulfill it.

"...moto! Yamamoto!" Captain Hirako's shout brought me back to myself and slowly I lifted my head from where I had been looking at the floor.

The garganta... The garganta!

It was almost closed, the teeth like edges starting to seal and vanish. A sense of urgency flushed through me and my mind's eye reacted, dropping the reishi around me and slamming into the garganta. I had no control over what it did, but as I thought about the garganta needing to open, needing to let our people pass back into the Seireitei, it stopped its progress. Slowly, the once mended edges reopened and the gaping darkness gradually became visible. I couldn't see anything past its edges, but I could feel the flashes of spiritual pressure as they still fought. Cold realization swept through me as I realized how stupid I had been in coming closer. This close to the garganta, I would have been easy to pick off, a close target for another cero or for someone to come through. I shouldn't have come this close, but I couldn't back up now. It would break my hold, my concentration. Grimmjow was pushing back, he knew I had taken hold of his garganta again.

Light blossomed in the darkness, illuminating a figure. At first, I thought it was Toshiro's reiatsu that I was seeing, but as the light moved, the white bone of a partial mask illuminated. It was Grimmjow, a cero far larger than the one he had used harnessed in both of his hands. My body froze as I met his illuminated eyes.

"You just don't give up, do you?" He asked.

His spiritual pressure slammed into the garganta, but this time he was serious. His power cut through mine like a knife through tough meat. I let a power yell slip from my mouth as I drew upon everything I had, everything that I could give and pushed back. I wouldn't let him beat me. I had to keep the garganta open no matter what. I wouldn't, couldn't lose this fight. I was strong enough. I could-

Something in my head popped like the air pressure had abruptly shifted and pain shot through my head. I tried to push it back and ignore it like I had done so many times in the past, but the foreign sound of my zanpakuto screaming in my mind stopped me. Before I could even think to ask her what had happened, I felt her presence slam down on our bond, turning the world black.

I recoiled from the blow she made on my mind as my sleeves materialized, signalling the end of our shikai. My zanpakuto was still in my hand, but it felt like everything was just gone. I couldn't feel spiritual pressures and my sense for the world around me was just gone. I called out my shikai, but the words I spoke went unheard and I tried again. I noticed then that my ears were ringing, the sound sharp and grating, but no other noise made it to my ears. I could feel my throat working and my mouth moving, but still I only heard the constant ringing. Oh god, what had that popping been? Was I deaf, or was I still stuck in my mind's eye? If I couldn't activate my shikai to pull myself back, would I be stuck like this?

'I'm sorry, Herald,' my zanpakuto's voice murmured over the ringing of my ears. 'I did not prepare you enough for this engagement. Had I seen this event, we would have been ready.'

My body slid to the side until I roughly hit the dirt I had been kneeling on with my hip. I felt my zanpakuto slip from my hand as I gave up trying to call back our shikai and instead cupped a hand over my ear. Warm liquid met my fingertips and I realized that it was coming from me. Suddenly aware of the bodily fluid, I realized that it wasn't just that ear, but my other ear and nose as well.

I had done it again. I had pushed myself so far that my mind had been injured. My zanpakuto had stopped me from hurting myself any further by stopping our shikai the only way she could, shutting down our bond. But, she had stranded my mind's eye, leaving me blind and useless in the middle of combat. I had no idea what was going on. Was Grimmjow still staring me down with a massive cero clasped in his hand? I couldn't feel his spiritual pressure. In fact, I couldn't feel anything except for the ground beneath me and fluids running down my skin. I was as good as dead.

"What is my name?" I asked her aloud, despite being unable to hear my own voice.

Silence was my only answer for a long moment, but quietly she replied, 'she who is shattered.'

Deaf, blind and as good as dumb, I sat there waiting for the rest of me to break. Grimmjow had been ready to kill me. I didn't know if it was coming or not, but it had to be. I couldn't see the garganta, but no doubt it had closed already. Toshiro, Lieutenant Ogido and the three other Soul Reapers were surely lost to us now.

I had tried and failed.

If I hadn't tried to hold the garganta open, it would have just been the three unknown people. Sure, they mattered, but not as much as Toshiro did. I was selfish. I would have gladly given them up just to have him back. I should have never tired. Lieutenant Ogido never would have gone in there, and Toshiro never would have followed. I was an idiot. A damned stupid idiot!

My world seemed to shift for a moment, but I didn't understand I was falling over until my head was caught by a rough hand just before my body hit the ground. An arm wrapped around me, pulling me up from the ground and into someone's lap. For a moment I went stiff with panic as I thought about Grimmjow being the last person I had seen, but the hold around me was too gentle and far too cold for it to have been him.

"Toshiro."

I knew my voice had cracked with tears as I felt it almost get stuck in my throat. The arms around me turned me, moving me upright and pulling the front of me against him. I let the sudden well of tears in my eyes flow as my hands found his haori and knotted in the fabric. Ice shocked my skin as I pulled myself tighter against him, but I relished in the feeling and buried my face into the center of his chest. The crisp scent of ice cold air met my nose and chilled my lungs as I gasped in one shallow breath at a time. It really was him. I couldn't feel him, see him or hear his voice, but I knew it was him. Thank god...

I felt his chest rumble with words I couldn't hear, so I shook my head and tightened my grip on his haori until it was almost desperately tight. His hands slid across my back and up my arms until he took my shoulders and pushed me back just a bit. He took my face in his hands and lifted my chin as if to make me look at him, but I didn't know where he was to look at, so I searched the darkness as I hoped that something would magically become visible again.

Through my hands I felt him speak again, but I had no idea what he was saying.

"I can't hear," I said, knowing that it hadn't been more than a tearful whisper.

He turned my head, his one hand moving so he could see the side of my head as he ran one ice roughened finger across my skin. His next words must have been curses because of how quickly he growled them. Turning my head back to face him, he spoke again. I didn't know what to say in reply, so I blindly searched the darkness for his image.

'Tell him,' my zanpakuto started to say. 'I forced you to drop your shikai like that day on the stairs, like he did in the world of the living. He will understand what has happened.'

I nodded, and I could almost hear the question in Toshiro's words just by the way he shifted under my hand. "She cut me off. Like on the stairs, or like you did in the world of the living."

I felt him still through his touch on my cheek. He shifted as his hands left my cheek one found the wrist of my sword hand and gently pulled at it, coaxing me to release his haori. I felt him slide metal into my hand but I shook my head and tried to pull away.

"I can't. I tried."

His hand closed over mine, holding my grip on my zanpakuto. He was telling me to try.

'I will allow it,' my zanpakuto whispered through my mind. I started to ask her why she was screaming when she shut down our shikai, but before I could voice the words she said, 'I took the damage your breaking mind would have. I will heal, but you will feel my pain while our shikai is active. I was able to shield you from it earlier, but I haven't the capability of doing so now.'

"You don't want them to know," I said softly.

'I am a zanpakuto. I will recover, you wouldn't have.' She let out a long dragging sigh before she said, 'just do it so I can ignore you and heal.'

If circumstances had been different, I might have laughed at her remark. As it was I, I took her at her word and called out our shikai.

"Maebure no Shukufuku."

I didn't have time to sort everything into categories as stars burst across my vision. Pain… god, so much pain. My zanpakuto was really hurt and her pain stole my thoughts away and I felt myself cry out as my armor started to form. I pulled my mind's eye back to me on instinct and slammed back into my body like a wrecking ball. Finding that Toshiro had released his hold over my hand I dropped my zanpakuto and my shikai.

Silence… numbness… I shuddered as the loss of sensations left me in a cold sweat, shaking and panting. I blinked slowly, finding that I could finally see as I stared at the haori I still had clasped in one hand. Blood was smeared across the left panel of the white fabric, which I knew had to have been mine. Lifting my gaze further, I realized he hadn't dropped his bankai as his wings surrounded us and ice had woven over his shoulder to cover a gash that had cut through his haori and shihakusho to run clear down his chest to stop just over his lower ribs. Blood had slicked through the fabric, but it was frozen just like his wound, like Hyorinmaru had automatically sealed his wound.

"You're injured," I said quickly as I focused on his chest. Even through the ice the wound looked deep enough to have rendered him useless if his ice hadn't closed the wound.

He took my face in his hands again, forcing me look away from his chest and to meet his steady and serious aquamarine eyes. His gaze shifted, watching my eyes as I focused on him. He said something, but it was too fast for me to watch his lips moving, so I shook my head and said, "I still can't hear."

He said it slower this time, and I watched as he said, "can you open it again?"

He must have been keeping his words simple for me to read his lips, because 'it' could only have meant the garganta. I slowly turned my gaze down to find my zanpakuto lying beside me, her blade resting against one of his bankai's wings. I didn't want to use my shikai again - I didn't even know if I could, but if he asked me to, I would try. I lifted my gaze to meet his once more and hesitantly I asked, "is it still there?"

"No," he said, shaking his head slightly to emphasize his word.

"If it's gone, then no," I said. "It was Grimmjow's creation, but it was reishi. I was only able to control it when he wasn't fighting me. If it reopened I could do something, but I can't make one."

Toshiro's eyes closed and his hands flexed like he wanted to make fists. He took in a breath so deep it made his shoulders rise and the ice of his wings shift with movement until he let it out in one long, chilled sigh. He let his hands fall to rest on my shoulders as his head dropped, hiding his face behind his snow colored hair and icy crown.

I frowned at his reaction to my words. What was so wrong that he couldn't look me in the eye? I let my hand trail up his chest and neck until my fingers brushed across his stubbled roughened chin and I ushered him to lift his head. He didn't let me move him though, instead turning his head so my hand ran up his jaw.

"Why won't you look at me?" I asked.

He stiffened for a moment before slowly lifting his head. I was met with hard aquamarine eyes at reminded me so clearly of when he had told me his story of his past. His story of him and Momo...

"They have her, Ria. They pulled her back as the garganta closed, and I could do nothing to stop them."


	12. She Who is Shattered

 

They had Momo. If those words had come someone else's lips, anyone else's, it would have just been news. But, these words had come from Toshiro, a man who was so tortured by his history with her that I knew he was already blaming himself.

It wasn't right. It wasn't fair that she held such sway over him. It hadn't been his fault, it had been mine. I shouldn't have tried to hold the garganta open. I should have just let them abscond with our people. I didn't know them. Who were they to me to be concerned about? Damn it…

I wrapped my hands over his wrists, holding his grip on my shoulders in place. The ice that coated his skin like scales was almost painfully cold, but I dealt with it as I squeezed down. His hardened stare was a terrifying sight for most people, but to me it was just a sign of his inner torment.

"I'm sorry," I said. Without being able to hear myself I had no idea how loud or quiet I was speaking, but he clearly heard me. His brow crinkled and he slowly shook his head. He looked like he was starting to say something, but he stopped himself just after he started and lifted his gaze as if to look beyond me. He must have seen something that I wasn't aware of because his wings shifted, pulling back so we were no longer surrounded in our own private space.

I started to turn to look, but Toshiro's hands kept my shoulders from turning as a foreign touch rested on the side of my head. I startled as Toshiro said something, but I couldn't read his words as he spoke quickly. His gaze lifted to look behind me, making me realize after he paused and started talking again that he wasn't speaking to me. I tilted my head back, but the hand on my head shifted, keeping me still.

The touch shifted, pushing my head to tilt to the side. The way they were looking at me, it must have been someone from Squad 4. I felt exposed and vulnerable not knowing what was happening, but as I watched Toshiro talk to whomever it was I trusted that he wouldn't have let just anyone touch me like this.

I must have had a fearful expression on my face because one of Toshiro's hands lifted from my shoulder, slipping free from my grasp as he caressed his ice roughened thumb over my cheek. I had been watching his lips until that touch, and I drew my attention up to meet his eyes. I hadn't realized until then that the light that allowed me to see in the darkness was the glow emanating from the ice of his bankai, but as I looked into his eyes, the inner glow within the glacier blue drew me in. I was so consumed by his eyes that I barely noticed his mouth moving with speech. I felt his spiritual pressure slide over me and I realized as black wings beat through my vision, that he had called a kido. Hakufuku…

I took hold of his haori as I felt myself slipping away with his spell. I couldn't stop him from putting me to sleep, but as the haze crept over me, I felt words spill from my mouth. Without hearing myself, I couldn't have been sure what I had said, but it really didn't matter as I slipped away into a darkened dream.

I woke to the foreign sensation of being lifted and turned, but I couldn't feel anything actually lifting me. It was so strange that I almost thought I was still dreaming until I was set back down, only now I was upright with my back resting against a rising and falling chest. A very female chest.

I slowly slid my eyes open to watch as a delicate hand pressed to my chin, guiding my head to turn and press into my zanpakuto's neck. I knew it was her without seeing more than a glimpse of her face before my vision was blocked by her neck. Her skin was covered in jagged red and golden lines that I could feel even on her neck as I nuzzled closer to her instinctively.

'Go back to sleep,' she cooed as her arms wrapped around me, holding me to her.

"I can hear you," I mumbled.

'You need to rest while I work to repair myself,' she instructed.

"I'm sorry," I said as I shifted, pulling myself closer to her to find a more comfortable position. She flinched with my movement and I stilled, but she pressed her hand to my arm, ushering me to continue.

'It is not your fault. Your body couldn't handle your own spiritual pressure. You never conditioned for such a release and if I hadn't taken the damage from your mind, I don't believe you would have recovered.' She cuddled me closer, pulling me to press to her more than I had ever been before. Her hands slid down my skin and I realized that I was only covered by sheets and nothing more, but it didn't bother me. She was my other half, and despite her being another woman, it just didn't feel weird. 'Now, rest so I can work.'

"So bossy," I mumbled as I settled. I couldn't argue with her because I didn't understand a lot of what she had said. That dreaded sleep monster was dragging me back down, so I went willingly and passed back into my darkened dreams.

… It was there. A glow in the darkness like someone had lit a match and let the flickering light weakly illuminate the area. I could make out my zanpakuto, her manifestation appearing to hover in the air as she gazed out into nothing. Her body was bare, her mask gone as well, leaving only the gold she painted across her skin to remain. Golden thread fine enough to have been from a spider's web wafted around her, slowly sticking to her skin in jagged patterns to hide angry red lines - no, wounds - they were sealing wounds that laced across her skin.

She inhaled deeply like she had emerged from deep thought. Her face almost instantly contorted with a cringe as she clutched at her chest. She moved then, her body shifting until she appeared to be standing. Her expression mellowed while still showing the pain she was feeling. Her other hand lifted from her side, pulling with it several strands of gold as she waved her hand in front of her.

'Why do I see this event no matter what occurs?' She asked herself as smoke drifted into the light's radius and gathered before her, almost creating a screen with the uniformity of its surface. Something began to play in the smoke, but my vision shifted until I wasn't just looking at the screen and I was actually experiencing the world as it lit to life. It was such an ethereal motion that for a moment, I thought I really was dreaming.

"Where are we?" I heard myself ask.

"This is the place she carved from the earth to hide in." The man that looked back at me had me wanting to stumble backwards with fear, but I kept walking, following the blue haired Espada like I wasn't afraid of him. In fact, the way I was following him it was like I trusted him. I wasn't tense, though my nerves had me on edge and my stomach churning.

"How did she manage that if she's trapped?" I asked as I met his shocking azure eyes.

_'Why is this event so… unavoidable?'_  My zanpakuto was speaking in my head, but her words were out of context, like she wasn't actually talking in the moment. I knew some how that this wasn't really happening right now, but the longer I watched, the more I seemed to feel like I was actually there... here. This was really happening?

"She is now, but she made this place well before then," Grimmjow replied before he turned back to watch the steps we were progressing down. "It wasn't her fault. Luien, that bastard, he went after her when she ran. Now she's trapped down here and I can't get close enough with any power to do anything about it."

My chest grew tight with his words. Was I actually feeling pity for the man before me? I had seen my death in his eyes. He wanted me dead, but I was helping him to do something, to free someone. Why was I doing this? Why would I help someone like him, an Espada? This whole scene made no sense.

Despite my own thoughts I said, "I'll free her, just like I promised. I'm trusting you'll uphold your end as well."

He turned on me in one sudden and violent movement. I didn't even have the chance to retaliate as he caught my shihakusho with his hand and slammed my back into the rough wall that lined the staircase. He was in my face, an enraged expression darkening his eyes. And yet… I still wasn't scared of him. I met his fierce azure eyes with my own steady stare, challenging him to do something. What the hell was wrong with me?

_'I don't understand it… damn Kazui.'_

"I am an Espada and that shit comes with rules. I won't got back on our deal, and you better not question it again or I'll kill you." His voice was dangerously deep with his threat, but still I didn't flinch.

"You won't kill me," I said calmly. "I'm the only one who can do this, and you know that my Captain will find you and kill you if end my life."

"He would never know with you here in Hueco Mundo and him two worlds away. Your life is in my hands. If you cross me-"

"He will know," I interrupted him. "He will know, and he will find you. You say that this woman means something to you. Whatever that is, it was enough to drive you enter the Seireitei despite your better judgement. If you were willing to do that for someone who only means something to you, what do you think Captain Hitsugaya would do for me?"

He looked like he wanted to fire off a smart mouthed reply, but his lips never parted to give voice to his thoughts and instead he glared at me. He didn't like me, not one bit. But he and I both knew that I was his only chance to free her right now. I was the only one who could manipulate the reishi that surrounded her, the only one who could free her without killing her. He needed me, and he hated that he did.

Oh well.

We had made a deal, and I intended to see it through.

'Herald,' my zanpakuto called me, her voice clearly directed at me instead of speaking out of context. 'You're not supposed to be here.'

"Tankyu no Unmei?" I asked, surprised. The version of myself I had become didn't seem to speak like I did, instead carrying out a conversation with the Espada that still had me pinned to the wall.

'Our inner world is off limits to you unless I bring you here,' she said, her voice sharp with irritation. 'How did you get in?'

"I don't know," I answered. "I just fell asleep."

She hummed with thought for a moment before she said, 'you need to leave. Now.'

I startled awake and sat up in one violent motion. My hand slapped down on my zanpakuto and I recoiled as I was instantly reminded of the wounds that had marred her manifestation. Had I hurt her by smacking her sword? I didn't even want to look at the blade. Somehow I just knew it would look like her flesh had. I wasn't entirely certain that what I had seen had actually been vision rather than a dream, but I really didn't want the confirmation that she was so damaged. She had said she'd taken the blow my mind would have. If that had been my mind…

I dropped the thought as I realized where they were leading me. I could wallow in those thoughts later. If everything had been real then what had she meant by her words? That scene had kept repeating it self, but that had never happened before… What did that mean? I thought she had corrected her sight, not made it worse.

Shaking my head I pressed my hand to my ear. I wasn't sure what I was feeling for, but it felt normal. A constant ringing was still sharp in my head, but I could actually hear the sheets rustle as I moved. It was barely audible, but I shouldn't have been expecting more. I had been so deaf that I couldn't hear anything at all. Hearing sheets rustle was a vast improvement over nothing at all.

Glancing around, I found a neatly folded yukata and overcoat set on floor beside my futon. It wasn't the typical white yukata that squad 4 was so fond of, but instead a light peachy color with white thread at the seams while the overcoat was a deep, solid blue. The outfit made me wonder who had visited me to drop this off, but I was thankful. Those white yukatas weren't the most flattering nor comfortable things in the world.

Willing myself to get up, I fought with a spell of dizziness the movement had caused before finally finding vertical. What I did to my ears must have messed with my sense of balance. It forced me to spend a few minutes getting dressed as I was careful of my orientation before I gingerly took my zanpakuto and tied her sash around my waist. I didn't know when I had gotten a black sash for her, but I had a feeling that was her doing. Maybe I'd get her a nice and colorful one the next time I went to the market. She'd like it if it was fancy enough for her tastes.

"You know you shouldn't be up and about just yet, right?"

I spun quickly and had to reach out to the wall for balance as I caught sight of my zanpakuto's manifestation. I wasn't sure why she had startled me, but she had. The sight of her made me cringe as I thought about the red wounds that had covered her skin. They were all covered in gold now, making her skin look repaired like once broken pottery. Her mask was little more than fragments of what appeared to have been a full white mask while flakes of gold that covered her visible skin in rough patches no thicker than tin foil. Her kimono was the same as the day before, but throughout the garment open holes laced through the fabric to expose many of the golden lines that crossed her skin. It was like she hadn't wasted the energy to change her kimono. Perhaps she didn't even have the energy to spare after repairing herself?

"Can't you make more noise or something?" I grumbled in an attempt to hide my shock at her appearance.

"Any other day, I might harass you about a comment like that, but I haven't the patience today," she stepped towards me, moving closer than I thought she would. Her sudden movement had me backing up with surprise and I tripped over the edge of the futon, tumbling back onto the sheets. She followed me down and sat on my diaphragm like she weighed nothing, but I was busy trying not to be nauseous as my head spun.

"What the hell?" I grumbled as my hand went to my head to try and hold the world still.

"You know my rules, Harald. You were not meant to see what you have, and I need to remedy what your glimpse has caused before you can mess the future up."

"Remedy what? I just saw images in smoke." I said, trying to downplay my understanding of the situation. I didn't understand a lot of what had happened when I had been asleep, but I did get that I had seen something.

"Images of the future, Herald. You can't wonder what you've seen now, and I can't have you spouting off what you've seen to anyone." Her hand came down beside my head as she leaned over me, her loose had cascading like a curtain around us. "The consequences are too great for us right now."

"What consequences?" I asked stubbornly.

"This," she lifted her other arm in such a way that her sleeve slid down to expose the gold covered wounds that marred her skin. "This was our consequence for my interference in your future yesterday. Do you understand that you were as good as dead? If I hadn't corrected my vision, I wouldn't have known, wouldn't have seen to be able to react in time to save your mind."

I swallowed hard with her words. She had said it a few times, but I hadn't really understood.

"What is this stuff?" I asked as I reached out to her only to stop myself mid motion.

"We cannot create real flesh from reishi, but with it we can make the next closest thing. Given time, as my wounds and my blade heal, these will be replaced with flesh and steel. It is the same concept you had with your stitches, but you never followed through to learn the entire technique."

I frowned at her words, but I understood that much. "This all happened because you trapped me in our inner world?"

"Because I intervened in your future." She corrected me.

"Yeah, but you have your sight back. Was it not worth the pain?"

"It isn't about risk versus gain, it's about change. If you hadn't had the second half of Maebure no Shukufuku, our reactive warding, then you would have been knocked from combat with Grimmjow's first Cero. However, you used what I forced you to learn and protected yourself. By my interference, your future has completely shifted."

"Has it? You couldn't see it before now," I pointed out.

"I can see what should have been, and this future is not it. This is why it is so important that you follow my rules," she said as her eyes softened. She ran her fingers down my temple to my chin, watching where her fingers trailed. "These are the truths that you need to know."

It took my zanpakuto what felt like hours to express her rules to me. There were so many it seemed like she should have had them written down in a hardback book and titled it, how not to break your future and other trivial truths. She liked using that words, truths. To her it seemed like the word meant absolute, but to me it meant to her it was the truth. It was all a matter of her opinion, her experience.

She explained her stance on the events that occurred yesterday, but all I thought was what if she had asked Toshiro not to act? What if he hadn't brought her words to Uncle Shunsui, and everyone was surprised by their emergence? Would more people have been close to the garganta to react, or would they have entered the Seireitei unhindered? In my mind, that was where the events had shifted, not her fixing her sight.

When she was done talking, I stared up at her in contemplative silence. I had already forgotten several of her rules, but the important ones had stuck. Don't tell anyone what the future holds. Clues are okay, but not the whole truth. That part I didn't get, but it made sense with why she always gave me names instead of telling me the events. I apparently wasn't smart enough to figure my names out until it was too late, and I often forgot to ask for my name. She scolded me on that point for a while. Don't try to change my own future. What was the point in seeing it if I couldn't change it? That too made little sense to me. On top of it all, she made it very clear that if I did manage to get back in our inner world again, I would speak up or something. When she looked into the future it was like leaving her senses behind to bask in the images of the future. Like slipping fully into our mind's eye, it left her absent of the world around her manifestation.

"Is there anything else I need to know?" I finally asked.

"Need, no. When you do need to know, I will tell you."

"You're not going to wait until the last second to tell me something I should have known hours before, are you?" I asked. She removed her hand from where it had rested beside my head the entire time and sat straight, looming over me like an oppressing tower.

"I will tell you what you need to know, when you need to know. If that is moments before it is relevant, so be it."

"So all that matters right now is that I don't tell anyone the part of the future I've seen?"

"To simplify my rules, yes."

"Fine," I said curtly. "What is my name?"

"She Who is Shattered," she replied automatically.

"No, you were shattered. What is my name?"

She frowned at me, like really frowned with her mouth turned down, brows knit, and eyes hardened. "This should have been you."

"I know."

I held her miffed glare like it was nothing. I was still mad at her for having stuffed me in our inner world like she had. I could glare at her all day. After a long moment, I think she too realized that I wasn't going to drop and let out a short sigh.

"She Who Comforts," she grumbled.

"Comforts? Who am I supposed to be-" I cut myself off as I remembered the night before. "Toshiro."

"Do not make assumptions. You know better than that."

She vanished with those words, relieving my chest of her weight. I didn't wait for my breathing to settle from the relief and rolled forward to get to my feet. I was taken by a wave of dizziness that had me leaning against the wall for support with the sudden movement, but I opened myself to feeling spiritual pressures and searched for that presence I has grown so fond of.

He… Wasn't there. Toshiro wasn't there.

Had he gone after Momo? He was injured, I remembered seeing the wound under the ice of his bankai. My chest tightened and my heart felt like it fell to the floor. If he had left, he was being a damn idiot. That wound… damn it. I didn't care how much ice he could make or how long he could sustain his bankai. That wound had been serious. If he left without thinking I-I didn't know what I would do.

"... I think she's up, but I'm not can always feel her, but that might just be her zanpakuto."

I perked up at the sound of Rangiku's voice from beyond the shoji doors that lead into my room. She would know what had happened. Toshiro was our Captain. If he left, she would have been the first to find out. I moved towards the doors, fighting my lack of balance as I moved, only to be startled when the door slid open to reveal the taller blonde. I would have sworn she had been further away than that. My hearing must have still been terrible.

"Oh, you're up!" She exclaimed in surprise when her eyes found me. Her voice sounded like a buzz compared to the normal tone of her voice and I knew it was my damaged hearing to blame.

"What happened while I was out?" I asked, trying not to sound desperate as my hands found the door frame to steady myself.

The look she gave me was surprised, but it was the woman behind her that spoke up to say, "you should lay back down before you fall down."

Lady Nanao gently urged her way around Rangiku, her stern violet eyes catching my eye. I suddenly knew where the outfit had come from.

"Oh, go easy on her Miss Grumpy Pants," Rangiku scolded as she reached out to me. I wasn't sure what she wanted, but I graciously took her hand and let her lead me away from the door frame.

"I am not grumpy. I am concerned," she defended. "She shouldn't be moving around yet. Even you can see how off balance she is."

"Why am I feeling like this?" I asked before Rangiku could reply.

"Oh honey," she cooed as she pulled me into a hug. "You don't remember what happened?"

"I remember up until To-Captain Hitsugaya put me out. I couldn't hear, but that doesn't explain why I am dizzy," I said as I hugged Rangiku back and allowed her to keep me upright.

"Yes, it does," Lady Nanao said with a small sigh. "You ruptured both of your ear drums, along with several blood vessels, when you tried to call on more of your spirit energy."

I frowned, but I was pressed so close to Rangiku that I knew neither of them could see my downturned expression. My zanpakuto hadn't told them what had happened. Was she avoiding manifesting in front of others? With the injuries she took on my behalf, I couldn't blame her if she was. I had seen her in our inner world. Before she had laced her wounds together with golden threads of reishi and turned them into a kintsugi masterpiece, she had looked terrible. I had started to expect her to talk to the people around me when I was out, but she was hiding, recovering…

"My body wasn't capable of handling my own spirit energy," I said after a moment. "My hearing was a small wound compared to what my zanpakuto took for me."

I wasn't sure if it would hurt her or not, but still pressed close to Rangiku I took hold of my zanpakuto's hilt and drew her. I only pulled her out far enough to show them the cracks that ran down her blade and the golden reishi she had pulled to temporarily mend the metal. I hadn't looked at her blade yet, but compared to her skin, the metal simply looked elegantly engraved with jagged gold lines.

"Ria," Lady Nanao murmured my name in shock as she saw what had happened to my zanpakuto.

"My zanpakuto took the blow that my mind's eye, and coincidentally my mind, should have. My hearing was just what happened before she could step in," I explained as I slid her safely back into her sheath.

"That wasn't because of Grimmjow?" Rangiku asked as she squeezed me a little tighter.

"No, maybe." I shook my head and regretted it as the world spun. "I don't think so. It doesn't matter. What happened while I was out?"

"It's only been a few hours, so not much," Rangiku said with a small shrug as she released me from her hug, her hands still holding my shoulders to keep me still. "Several members of the stealth force and Captain Sui-Feng went to the world of the living to use Kisuke's doorway into Hueco Mundo, to locate wherever Halibel has claimed as her throne."

"Throne?" I asked as I lifted my head to give her a confused look.

"She's the ruler of Hueco Mundo. She has to have some place that she rules from," she said with a shrug like it was perfectly logical.

"I see." I dropped my gaze to the floor. "They're trying to determine where they took them before sending anyone else."

"You bet'cha," she said cheerfully. "The Captain knew you'd be worried, so he sent me over here to fetch you."

"H-he is here," I said, relief flooding through me with the confirmation. I couldn't feel him, but Rangiku wouldn't lie. He hadn't left… Damn it, why did that make me want to cry so badly?

"Before you go," Lady Nanao interrupted. "I need to speak with you."

I slowly lifted my head and drew my gaze up her shihakusho until I could meet her violet eyes. She had lost the confidence that she had come in here with, her expression now solemn and almost sad. I blinked at her dumbly. There were very few things that could give her that sort of expression, and all of them were people. Uncle Shunsui was fine, there was no way that he had been injured during the events from last night. Daisuke wasn't a combatant, so he certainly hadn't been involved. Mio, on the other hand… Something must have happened.

"I-it can wait," I said quickly as I slipped from Rangiku's hold and moved towards the open door. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't need to hear it. Not now…

"Ria," Nanao called after me as I left the room. I ignored her as I moved down one of the outer walkways. My balance was a bit kiltered as I moved, but I used the pillars that supported the roof as checkpoints to steady myself. As I moved, I knew I was running away from whatever news she had. I didn't want to know… gods, I didn't want to know. The look on her face-

"It's what you would have wanted," Lady Nanao continued as she followed me. I stopped at the next pilar I touched and wrapped an arm around it to steady myself.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked without turning to her.

"The baby is far enough along that Squad 12 can sustain it outside the womb," she said quickly.

"She's only 5 months-"

"Nemuri, his assistant, wasn't born. She was made." Her words were so quick that I almost didn't understand her, but it was enough to stop my racing thoughts and make me actually listen to her. "Captain Kurotsuchi has adapted the technology he used to make her to sustain a natural born child."

"Why did you look so sad?" I asked as I glanced back at her. She had stopped a lot closer than I thought, only an arm's distance away.

"That wasn't a sad expression," she said as she reached out to gently rest her hand on my arm. "Nemuri has asked that you return to Squad 12 tomorrow morning. They can reproduce the Head Captain's reiatsu, but it's not similar enough to Mio's for them to replenish hers."

"But mine is," I finished for her.

"They believe so," she said, nodding.

I drew my hand to my chest as I recalled how it had felt to have Toshiro's reiatsu inside me. Would such an exchange feel like that? Like a separate entity inside of her, or would my own power meld with hers? Could I actually chase Mitsuji from her with my own reiatsu? No… my own spirit energy had been too much for my own body. She was frail with the strain of the soul candy possessing her, she could never handle that much of me. But, if what Lady Nanao was saying would actually work, I could support her, keep her body from wasting away with her reiatsu.

"Tomorrow morning?" I asked as I turned and met her gaze.

She nodded as a small, hopeful smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

"I'll be there."

Lady Nanao hugged me then. For as gentle as she looked sometimes, her hug was fierce and full of the anxiety that talking to me had probably caused. I didn't know why she would have ever thought that I would possibly say no, but at the same time I couldn't blame her. I had been avoiding everything that had to do with the situation. I was a horrible sister…

Between Lady Nanao and Rangiku I didn't have a chance to stew over how horrible of a person I was. As soon as Nanao released me she was off, probably to find Uncle Shunsui, and Rangiku was at my side. She took my arm and practically dragged me along with her as she maneuvered down the many walkways that laced through Squad 4. I knew she was doing it because of my horrible sense of balance, but it made me feel like such a child.

"I totally thought you were gonna bolt as soon as you saw Nanao," she mused aloud as she pulled me around another turn.

"If my balance wasn't so screwy, I probably would have," I mumbled as I gripped her arm and let her take a little more of my weight than I probably needed to. Being upright, my balance wasn't too bad, but her jerking me around wasn't helping much.

"You are so reactive sometimes that it's amusing."

Her comment earned her a small elbow jab to her side.

"Hey now," she said with a small giggle. "You know you're pretty bad about taking bad news. You have to admit that at least."

"It's just when it's my fault in the first place." I couldn't help the grumbly sound my words had.

"Hey, it was good news. Why are you so pouty?" She asked as she shook her arm a little.

I let out a long sigh as I watched the doors we were passing. Most of them were open to reveal empty rooms, a good sign that nothing terrible had happened lately aside from what had happened on Sokyoku Hill. I didn't know if anyone else had been injured during the fight, but I could think of four people who weren't even here to occupy those rooms. I should have never held the garganta open. I was a damned idiot. "It is good news, but I can't bring myself to be happy when so much went wrong yesterday."

"Wrong?" Rangiku asked, her reaction clearly that of surprise.

I gave her a skeptical glance then narrowed my eyes at her as I asked, "do you not know what happened last night?"

She quirked a brow at me, then shook her head. "You really couldn't hear a thing last night, could you?"

"Just my zanpakuto and the ringing in my ears," I said, shaking my head as well.

"I was the one behind you," she said gently. "Do you really think that Toshiro would let just anyone man handle you like that?"

"Man handle?" I asked, taken aback by her words. "Oh, you were who he was talking to."

"Yup, that was me alright. I'm surprised you didn't notice. I could have sworn you were looking at me for a while there."

"I don't remember anything after I started seeing the butterflies of the hakufuku spell," I admitted almost sheepishly.

"You were pretty weak when I got there. I'll admit that I was shocked when you stayed awake all the way back to Squad 4, even if it was barely."

I didn't answer her words with a reply, but instead tried to remember what had happened. But… There was nothing there. The next thing I remembered after the butterflies was waking in my zanpakuto's embrace. I must have been fighting his kido pretty hard to have been awake without remembering anything. Knowing how I felt now, I had probably been regretting my actions with the garganta or trembling with fear at the thought of Grimmjow… Why hadn't I been afraid of him in the future? Damn it all, nothing made sense.

"Hey, you still with me?" Rangiku asked as she stopped walking for a moment.

"Did I say anything weird?" I asked as I stopped with her and glanced up cautiously. I had expected some sort of teasing grin to be on her face, but instead I was met with soft, kind eyes.

"I think you should talk to Toshiro for that," she said so quietly that I had to strain to hear her.

"O-okay," I said, nodding slightly. I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth and lightly gnawed on it as my thoughts drifted back. I remembered saying something and I knew it had been in a small fit of panic. I had been sure he would chase her somehow. We had arrancar just sitting in Squad 12. How easy would it be for them to open a garganta? Then again, why did the execution squad and Captain Sui-Feng go to the world of the living? It probably had something to with what Kazui was saying about why Grimmjow had to use the precipice world to get here.

"...here biting your lip?" Rangiku asked, dragging me from my thoughts.

"What?" I asked, knowing I had only caught the tail end of her words.

"You really are deaf," she commented, giving me a flat stare.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "What'd you say?"

"That's his room," she said, gesturing to a room with a closed door. I glanced around, noticing for the first time that we had transferred into the clinical side of Squad 4. White, sterile looking walls ran down either side of the hallway, lined with doors that looked equally as bland as the walls. There were a few members of Squad 4 milling around, cleaning or making their way down the stretch of hard wood floor with clipboards in hand. This wasn't exactly the emergency ward, but it was the next step down. Either he was really hurt, or he was being treated with extra care because of who he was. I was hoping it was the later.

I turned my gaze back to the closed door. There was a small window in the door, so I stepped up to it only to find the door was made for much taller people. Captain Kotetsu was a looming presence… rising up on my tip toes I glanced in and froze. Curtains had been pulled partially closed, but through the gaps in fabric I could see Captain Kotetsu sitting on the edge of a raised hospital bed, leaning over the exposed torso of who I could only assume was Toshiro. Blood spotted the gloves she wore as she worked a stick with a swab on the end. As she moved, I caught sight of the wound she was tending and physically flinched. It looked bad, worse than anything I had ever sustained. I knew he had been injured, but the ice that had covered his chest must have made it look less… horrible.

"Why isn't he in the emergency ward? That looks terrible," I commented as I slowly let myself rest back on my heels so I couldn't see through the small window.

"It's not as deep as you'd think," Rangiku said, shrugging. "It's just too wide for stitches. If he wasn't so stubborn, Isane would have put him out hours ago and-"

'I can guide you,' my zanpakuto said in my head, drowning out Rangiku's chatter. She had responded to my thoughts before I had even the chance to really think them. She had laced herself together with reishi, filling the wounds in her body like she had replaced her own flesh. Her words told me that it could be done to more than just herself, but myself and maybe whomever would let me. We were all made of reishi, it was just a matter of being allowed to control something that wasn't mine.

'Are you really up for it?' I asked her. 'I know you're injured too. I don't want to hurt you any more by doing this.'

'So long as you don't go doing something stupid, I will be fine,' she said. I could almost feel her sigh ghost across my skin. Despite how she had shut down our bond last night, it almost felt like she was closer to me than before. Like I was still cuddled in her arms…

I took hold of the door's handle and slid it open quietly before stepping into the room. Rangiku had abruptly stopped talking when I moved, so I glanced back at her and gave her a reassuring half smile. "Thank you for showing me the way."

"Y-yeah," she said slowly, her face falling like she was confused.

I slid the door closed just as quietly as I had opened it and moved into the room, unburdened by Rangiku's reaction to me. Captain Kotetsu glanced up from where her hands were occupied and hesitated when she saw me.

"Yamamoto, I wasn't expecting you to be up so soon," she said, clearly surprised by my appearance. She was one of the tallest women in the Seireitei, but you wouldn't have known it with her sitting like she was. She was also one of the few Soul Reapers that actually woke a kimono instead of a shihakusho, but with her position as the Squad 4 captain it only made sense. The only combat she ever saw was from the sidelines. Unlike the rest of her, her captain's haori was the standard long sleeve variety that most of the other captains word. It went well with the chin length bob she had her silver hair currently styled in and her lavender colored eyes. "You can't possibly be feeling well enough to be moving around yet."

"Lieutenant Matsumoto helped me get here, ma'am," I said as I respectfully bowed my head, the motion making me reach out to the wall just for a moment to steady myself. "I'm sorry if I'm intruding."

"It's alright," she said as she gave me a soft smile. "Captain Hitsugaya finally allowed me to force him to sleep, but I know he had requested your presence when you woke. We both did not expect you to be up so soon though."

"It was my zanpakuto that woke me," I said as my eyes turned down to draw across the bared expanse of Toshiro's chest. Away from the wound he looked perfectly normal and untouched, but the red ruin of flesh that ran from his left shoulder down his pectoral to end just above his last rib was such a distraction that I couldn't seem to take my eyes away from it. He wasn't bleeding terribly bad, but I was pretty sure that was thanks to whatever Captain Kotetsu had been applying to it rather than the injury being any less severe than it looked.

"Rangiku was telling me stories about her before we felt you stir," she mused. "Normally our zanpakuto only speak to us in our mind and refrain from manifesting outside of meditation. Yours is rather lively in comparison."

"Do you know how he sustained this?" I asked, dismissing the talk about my zanpakuto as I stepped closer to the bed and gently traced my fingertips down his arm.

"It's a wound from a cero," she answered simply. "We see these often from younger Soul Reapers who've been stationed in the World of the Living. It will take some time to heal completely due to the nature of the wound. We treat them much like a burn, so..."

Her words faded out as I turned to my thoughts. A cero… he had taken Grimmjow's cero that was meant for me. I hadn't felt a thing with my mind's eye trapped out of my body. His body was far more durable than my own as a result of his conditioning, and with his bankai running… I would have been dead. I would have been more than dead, there probably wouldn't have been even a trace of my body left after a blow like that.

"It was worse than this, wasn't it?" I asked as my eyes trailed up to find his head turned away so all I could see what his perfectly white hair.

"Yes," she said, her voice small. "I've been healing him for some time now, but while he was awake I couldn't make much progress. He was too irritated to sit still for very long."

"That sounds like him," I said with a small, forced laugh. I moved around the bed, stepping softly around the Squad 4 Captain and the tray of bloodied swabs at her side. Coming up to the other side, I sat on the edge much like she had, but I didn't even try to keep a polite amount of space between my hip and his side as I lifted his hand and pulled it into my lap so I could press as close to him as comfortably allowable. His skin was cool against my hand, but unlike his normal feel this wasn't from his spiritual pressure. He was suppressing himself even in his sleep, leaving only his injury to effect the temperature of his body.

Keeping his hand clasped in one of my own, I used the other to reach up and brush his haphazard bangs from his face. His face was lax with sleep, but cold sweat dotted his brow to show how much he was feeling pain despite his unconscious state. Breaths slid in shallow rhythmic pants from his slightly parted lips, the only sign that he was actually asleep instead of just closing his eyes. I wanted so badly to stop his pain in that moment. He had sacrificed himself for me. I had to do something to repay him, to fix the injury that he had taken in my stead.

"Captain," I started to say as I drew my hand from his and rested it over my zanpakuto's hilt. As my hand slipped under the handguard I paused, thinking back on how my zanpakuto had acted. She hadn't hesitated to knock me down and sit on me, but the way she was hiding from everyone when she seemed to enjoy popping up at the most random times, or how she always loved to play with people, but wasn't.

'You're still trying to heal yourself, aren't you?' I asked her.

'It is irrelevant,' she replied, confirming my suspicions.

'No, it's not. If I fully draw your blade, will I see the cracks you haven't repaired yet?'

She was silent for a long moment, telling me everything I needed to know.

'If I use our shikai to try and mend Toshiro's wound, it will damage you further.'

'Perhaps,' she finally replied after another long pause. 'This is trivial though. I can bare it.'

'Why are you urging me to do this?'

'I have done no such thing,' she replied quickly. 'You wished to mend him, and the only way you know how to so that is with our shikai. I simply offered to guide you, to ensure that you do it correctly and do not make his wound worse. I have never expressed this before and I had never intended to, but we need him.'

'We do need him,' I replied. 'I need him like a river needs water, but breaking you further to try and heal him when his body will most likely reject our efforts with him unconscious is just stupid.'

'You do not understand,' she said, her shaking head clear in her voice. 'We need him. Without him we are vulnerable, and I am willing to break just a little more to ensure that doesn't happen.'

'It doesn't matter.' I let out a small, quiet sigh that was meant to hide the frustrated one that I really wanted to let out. 'Do you think we could really overpower him? Ever? To do what we want, to fill his wounds with our reishi, he needs to let us.'

'He already has,' she said so softly that if she had actually been speaking, I was sure I wouldn't have heard her. Whatever. She liked to talk in riddles and partial truths, and right now I didn't have the patience for it.

"Yamamoto?" Captain Kotetsu asked.

I slowly dropped my hand from my zanpakuto's hilt and returned it to holding Toshiro's. If all she needed was more time, I would wait a while. "Do you mind if I remain here for the time?"

"Oh," she said with surprise. "I suppose that's alright. He did ask for you after all."

"Thank you," I replied without removing my gaze from Toshiro's features. I had never watched him sleep before, not like this. If I hadn't known he was injured, I might have thought he was simply having an unpleasant dream.

Greenish light emanated from Captain Kotetsu's hands and I glanced over to her, attracted by her kaido's glow. She had deposited her swabs and ointment on the tray beside her to free her hands for her work as they hovered over his chest.

"I never thanked you for tending to me when I was injured," I said.

"There's no need," she said kindly.

"Still, thank you," I said anyway. "Without your attentions, I would have most likely been too weak to defend myself from Amagi when he came for me."

She murmured something that was too quiet for my damaged hearing to pick up before she said, "I am glad that you weren't punished for that event. The Central 46 are the final say in all matters, and often times their decisions aren't what we, the Soul Reapers they rule over, would have chosen."

"If the execution order my ancestor had issued wasn't still valid, I probably wouldn't be here now," I mused more to myself than her.

"You think too negatively," she commented. I didn't reply. She was right, I often did. "I believe your actions were justified. That interaction was purely self defense, which even I would have testified to if given the opportunity. I saw your injuries first hand. If you hadn't been in the middle of your squad when your fight began, you may have died after a time from a collapsed lung or simply blood loss. Not killing him put you at risk."

"I didn't think the Captain of Squad 4 would have ever vouched for a purely violent solution, especially when Squad 12 has a remedy," I mused.

"I wouldn't have once upon a time, but the former captain of this squad taught me a lot of things during her time," she said with a small shrug. "One of those lessons was to not trust Captain Kurotsuchi, but another was that violence is what we do. Peaceful solutions aren't exactly our forte."

"That is true," I agreed with a small nod. "I guess I just haven't see any real violence since I joined the 13 court guard squads."

"It has been peaceful for sometime," she said lightly. "The memories of the past are still there though. Our scars have healed, but the wounds on our hearts are still clear."

I smiled at that and let out a small, almost inaudible laugh. "That sounds pretty accurate. The only scars that I see on people are probably the ones that were so severe they couldn't be fixed, like the Head Captain's eye."

"He's just stubborn, like this one here," she said, gesturing lightly to Toshiro. "He refused Orihime's offer to heal him numerous times. His skin healed after time, but you can still feel where his bones mended their breaks from when his arm was quite literally removed from his body."

I gaped at her, not even bothering to try and be polite about it. Her gaze flicked over to me and a blush lit her cheeks. She mumbled something so soft and quiet that I didn't catch her words. When her glance returned, she gave me a sheepish smile.

"You didn't hear that, did you?"

"Sorry, no," I said, lightly shaking my head.

"I said that I forget how young you are sometimes," she repeated before continuing on, "During the battle against Aizen, all of the Captains were utterly defeated in a matter of moments. I was the Lieutenant of this squad at the time, and I remember the devastating injuries everyone had sustained."

"Was it really that bad?" I asked. "I only remember feeling Aizen and Ichigo when they entered the Soul Society."

"You could feel them?" She asked, clearly surprised.

"Yeah, I was young at the time, but I remember it pretty clearly. They were terrifying in their power, even from that distance."

She watched me for a long moment and I noticed the light of her kaido flickering. Had my answer been that distracting? It took her a long, and to me awkward, moment to recover before her kaido steadied and she drew her gaze down. "I do not know how familiar you are with Captain Hitsugaya, but if you feel his collarbone, you can find where Aizen's blade cut through him to remove his arm and his bone healed thicker than the rest after we reattached it."

My eyes moved with her direction to focus on the uninjured side of his chest. I hadn't paid that sort of attention to him before. Whenever he had been exposed like this, my mind had gone to far more naughty things than finding his unseen scars, but now that I was looking the urge to run my hands down the expanse of his chest was inappropriately alluring. Later, when he woke and we were alone, perhaps then I would explore his body like that. With Captain Kotetsu capable of watching, it just didn't seem right to touch him like that now.

"If he was so badly injured, why doesn't he have scars like Captain Zaraki or Captain Iba?"

"Part of it is time. It's been decades since he's been injured like this, but I also believe it has something to do with his Hyorinmaru," she said slowly, like she was thinking. "Unlike most of us, he is so intune with his zanpakuto that they might as well be one in the same. Its part of the reason that he's one the strongest Soul Reapers in the 13 Court Guard Squads."

I nodded wordlessly as my gaze wandered over to her hands. One of the strongest she had said, and Grimmjow's cero was still capable of so much damage… Damn it. I had been the reason this happened to him.

I dropped my gaze to his hand in my lap as I surrounded his much bigger palm with both of mine. He had sat beside me like this when I had been affected my Amagi's shikai. I remembered rolling over to find my hand held delicately in his, his cool arctic eyes watching over me. I could only guess how many times since then he had stayed with me while I was unconscious. I was the one always getting hurt. He wasn't supposed to do it too. But that was selfish thinking. It was his duty to protect everyone under his purview even if that meant risking his life. I just didn't like sitting here, waiting for him to get better. No wonder he always told me that I wasn't allowed to go getting myself hurt again. He probably hated watching me like this more than I hated watching him.

I sat silently as Captain Kotetsu worked, and watched as I idly ran my fingertips across the palm of his hand. His skin was rough with calluses and his knuckles lined with old scars he has never bothered healing, but I knew these hands of his. Even though I had to stretch to make his fingers fit snuggly between mine, it felt right. His hand belonged in mine. It was probably foolish to think that way, but I didn't care. He was mine, and I was his. That's just how it was.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but I had caught myself nodding off several times. I had been considering finding a place to lay down before I fell over when a voice startled me enough to make me perk up.

"Captain," said a voice I didn't recognize. I slowly turned my head to see a young looking man who clearly belonged to Squad 4 standing in the doorway to the room. "You've been in here for several hours. You need to rest."

The glow from Captain Kotetsu's hands faded as she slowly drew them back to her lap. She visibly slouched like she was exhausted as her squad member stepped into the room, closely followed by another. They closed the door to the room behind them before coming up to the bed. I noticed the tray of fresh bandages the second one was carrying as they moved closer and I sat up straight forcing myself to shake off the sleepy haze that had been creeping over me.

"Thank you," Captain Kotetsu murmured as she slid off the edge of the bed and stood. Her gaze shifted to me and she flashed me a tired smile. "I tend to lose track of the time when I am working, so my staff know to interrupt me."

I nodded like my reply meant something.

"They will bandage the wound and let his body rest for a time. Will you be staying with him?" I nodded again, earning me another smile. "Let me know when he wakes, will you? I am sure he will just try to leave when he can, knowing how he has acted in the past."

I nodded again, but this time that didn't seem to satisfy her as a small frown turned her mouth down.

"Your hearing is still weak, isnt it?"

"I can hear you fine, but I think you are speaking up for me, aren't you?"

"I am," she replied as she glanced down to one of her squad members. "When they are done, you should let Hanataro tend to you."

"I'm alright, I'm more worried about Captain Hitsugaya right now than my hearing," I said as I turned my gaze on Toshiro's sleeping form.

"Alright," she said kindly before she turned away from me to softly instruct her squad members. I didn't know if it was intentional, but she spoke so softly that I couldn't catch her words. Whatever she said had the two nodding quickly to acknowledge her instructions before she turned and exited the room.

I didn't bother waiting to be asked to move, and slid from the bed's edge to give them the space they needed to tend to them. Part of me wanted to try and help as they took positions on either side of the hospital bed and began prepping their white cloths and gauze, but I knew I would just be a hinderance. It had been years since I had this sort of training, so I stepped further back and turned away. Finding the wall incredibly interesting I tried to ignore the sounds and quiet words they exchanged.

"Ma'am," one of them spoke up after some time. I realized quickly that they had been trying to get my attention for a while, and spun around to meet the open blue gaze of the Squad 4 member.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you," I quickly said.

"I know, and it's alright," he said smiling. "Are you sure you don't want me to tend to your damaged hearing before I go?"

"Thank you, but no," I declined as I glanced beyond him to Toshiro's form still on the hospital bed. "I'd rather just wait for him to wake up."

"I understand," he said just loud enough for me to hear. "If you need anything, there's always someone in the hallway. Just give us a shout."

"Thank you," I said, bowing my head just enough to be polite. He left with that final remark, and I watched his back until he silently slid the door shut behind him.

I waited a moment to make sure that he had actually left before I moved towards the bed. They had bandaged him up much like I had been when I was stabbed, but the gauze was applied thicker and covered far beyond the actual edges of the wound. The wrapping they used circled his chest and shoulder in smooth and practiced lines that left most of his body still exposed. They had at least pulled the sheets higher to cover him, though I was certain it was out of practice rather than trying to keep him warm. He could have slept through a blizzard completely unphased.

I took his hand once more and held it in both of mine. I wanted to crawl into the bed with him and cuddle as close as I could, but I was afraid of hurting him. But, what if someone walked in and saw me like that? I could just imagine their reactions. Toshiro would probably find it amusing if he were awake.

I moved to pull my hand free from his so I could pull the sheets higher on him, but stopped when I felt resistance from Toshiro's hand. I slowly glanced down and stared at his fingers that were wrapped securely around my hand. Was he…? My gaze flicked up to his and I almost thought I was imagining his aquamarine eyes watching me. But, I wasn't.

"You're awake," I whispered.

He didn't reply to my words, instead shifting to sit up. I released his hand and stepped back just enough to let him move as he turned to let his legs hang off the edge of the bed. I noticed then that he was still wearing the hakama portion of his shihakusho, the blackness of the fabric having been hidden from my gaze before. He flipped the sheets away from him before they could tangle his movements and cringed as the motion must have pulled at his bandaged wound.

I started to open my mouth to say something, but one glance from his cool eyes had my words stuck in my throat. He didn't bother trying to be careful of his injury as he reached out to me, catching my hand and pulling me roughly to him. I only had a moment to slide between his parted legs before his arms surrounded me, hugging me tightly to the uninjured side of his chest. With the surprise of his movements my hands had been trapped between us, so I stood there and let him squeeze me as hard as he wanted to. I could feel his left arm shake with the strain of holding me, but I didn't say anything and instead nuzzled my nose into the hollow of his neck.

"I almost lost you," he murmured as he pressed a firm kiss to the top of my head.

"I'm sorry," I replied quickly, my voice cracking a bit as my nose started to tingle with the first hint of tears. "I was an idiot. If I hadn't held the garganta open, you wouldn't have gotten hurt and they wouldn't have Momo. I'm sorry."

His hold around me shifted and he pulled me higher until I was forced onto the tips of my toes to maintain the height. His left arm shook even more as he held me, but he didn't seem to care as he brought his mouth down to my ear and whispered just loud enough for me to hear, "right now, the only thing that matters to me is that you are here. Just let me hold you and thank the gods that I was able to get back to you in time. We can figure everything else out later. "


	13. She Who Comforts

Toshiro held me like that for several long and precious moments. I didn't know what was running through his mind, but I didn't dare ask. Whatever it was, it had him holding me like I would slip through his fingers if he didn't grasp me as tightly as he could. His words had sounded so relieved that I had to wonder if I hadn't fully grasped what had happened last night, or for the entire day for that matter. My zanpakuto had ran around in my body from morning to night while I had died over and over in our inner world. I had no idea what she had been up to. Did Toshiro even know what she had been up to?

Toshiro's grip around me relaxed until it was only a firm hug. I took advantage of the change and slowly let myself rest back on flat feet while tipping my head back so I could gaze up at him. With my hands pinned between us I couldn't do what I wanted to, so instead I said, "I couldn't feel you when I woke. I thought you had left."

"That's why I sent Rangiku for you," he said lightly. He pulled one arm from around me and pushed my hair back from my face, caressing my skin lightly with the movement. "You were resisting my hakufuku spell so strongly that I knew you would be an in a panic when you woke."

I turned into his hand, closing my eyes as I pressed a kiss to his palm. He knew me so well sometimes that I had to wonder if I ever surprised him. Then again, what I had done probably surprised him...

"I'm sorry you were injured because you protected me," I murmured against his skin.

"I'm not," he replied quickly. "If I hadn't gotten there to take the blow, you wouldn't be here."

"Still, I didn't mean for all of that to happen," I said, shaking my head. His hand slid further back, drawing away from my mouth before he took my hair in his grip, turning my head so I had no choice but to gaze up at him. He only spared a moment before he leaned down and took my mouth with his, effectively stopping me from saying any more. With the suddenness of his kiss I had expected it to only last a moment, but he took his time teasing my lips with his. When he gently bit down on my bottom lip I gave in to his silent demand and opened for him, letting him drink me down as he desired.

He broke our kiss a short while later, but it had been enough to leave me panting and his own breathing rough. His left arm dropped from around me, allowing me slide back from him just enough to drop my hands from where they had been trapped between us. He didn't seem to care as his own hand trailed up his chest to rest lightly over his bandages. "This is a small price to pay to still have you."

I didn't know why, but his words made me want to cry. I didn't let myself give into the water works though, instead drawing my thoughts back to last night. "How did it happen?"

He started to frown for a moment, but stopped when he looked like he had thought of something. "You were completely unaware once you were separated from your mind's eye."

I nodded as I said, "yes. I didn't even know it was you that caught me until I felt the chill of your ice under my hands."

"I was engaged in combat with Halibel when I felt your spiritual pressure rise. You felt just like the old Head Captain in that moment, and I let you call my attention. If I hadn't turned at that moment, I wouldn't have seen Grimmjow nor you on your knees at the entrance of the garganta. So, I made a choice. I didn't even realize that Grimmjow was preparing his gran rey cero until I got between you, but if my wing hadn't been weakened by Halibel's hirviendo, I wouldn't have taken an injury like this. As it was, I had to watch as the garganta slid shut between him and I, between-" he cut himself off then, and I watched as the muscles in his jaw flexed.

"Between you and Momo," I finished for him.

"Yes," he let out a long sigh and let his hand finally relax from holding my hair. He slipped his hand from the tangles he had made, but didn't pull away, instead running his fingers through my locks to undo the knots.

"It's alright," I said as I dropped my gaze to stare at the bandages that looped over his shoulder. "I understand your relationship with her."

"No, it's not," he said roughly before he sat back, letting his weight rest on his left hand behind him. "If you hadn't asked me to stay, I would have gone after her last night. Injured as I was, I had every intention of going to the World of the Living to use Kisuke's portal as soon as I saw you off with Rangiku."

"I did what?" I asked, shocked at his words.

"You asked me not to go," he repeated. His eyes narrowed after a moment and his hand drifted down to caress the edge of my ear. "You couldn't hear. Did you know what you were saying?"

"After your Hakufuku, I don't remember more than the moment directly after. I just remember being there, then in my zanpakuto's arms."

His lips quirked with a lopsided smile. "That explains why you were babbling, you didn't even know what you were saying."

I couldn't stop the blush that flushed through my cheeks. "I-I was babbling?"

"Worse than ever," he said.

"What else did I say?" I asked quickly.

A smile quirked the corner of his mouth. "A lot of things, but we should probably find some privacy before we go there."

"I did something embarrassing, didn't I?" I knew my face was growing darker, but I couldn't stop the questions from coming out. I knew all the thoughts that went through my head needed a filter. If that filter wasn't working…

"You were in a bit of a panic," he said gently. His fingers trailed down my jaw until he stopped at my chin. Leaning forward he planted a quick kiss on my lips before he slid forward, carefully guiding me backwards to allow him to take to his feet.

"Should you be moving around with that wound?" I asked, suddenly concerned as he stood straight and a pained expression crossed over his features.

"It's mostly numb from Isane's shikai," he explained as he turned and moved around me to move across the room. His shihakusho top and haori were folded on a bench that I only now noticed as he stooped to pick then up.

"If it's numb then why are you cringing?" I asked as I followed him.

"Her residual reiatsu isn't strong enough to completely eliminate the pain when my own is stronger. I have to suppress myself or her shikai wouldn't have worked at all."

He was trying to separate the layers of his shihakusho, but even from the good distance between us I could see how his left arm was trembling with the effort. I frowned at the sight of his unvoiced struggle and stepped forward so I could snatch the fabric from his hands before he could protest.

"Ria," he sighed my name. I knew that tone. He only used it when he wanted tell me no, but hadn't thought of the words to say just yet.

"No, for the first time ever you are the one who's hurt. You always take care of me when I am injured, so let me do the same for you," I said quickly as I met his gaze. It wasn't exactly a pleading look that I gave him, but it was close enough that after only a moment of holding his gaze he let out a soft sigh and nodded.

He didn't argue with me after that and I busied myself with separating the layers of fabric that made up his haori and shihakusho. I quickly realized that they were the same ones he had been wearing last when my hands came away stained in his still damp blood. I tried to not let my shock and worry show as I held the fabric up to gauge just how bad he had originally been injured.

"I think this haori is toast," I said lightly, trying to deceive myself into being amused when I really wanted to gape at all the slowly drying blood. "Are you sure you want to put this back on? You'd be better off wearing my overcoat or something than trying to make due with these again."

"It'll be fine. It's cold out today. You'll need the over coat," he replied.

"At least it wasn't your fancy one," I commented more to myself than him as I set the haori down and turned my attention to his shihakusho. He would probably be more comfortable if he didn't have to slide his arm through the sleeve, but knowing him he would prefer to deal with the discomfort than actually look hurt. I wasn't entirely sure about it though, so I held the nagajuban up for him to decide.

"I knew Grimmjow was coming after speaking with your zanpakuto yesterday," he said idly as he slipped his arm into the sleeve. "Knowing that, I assumed I was going to be getting bloody one way or another."

I tried not to hesitate as I moved to allow him to catch his other sleeve, but his words made me want to pause. He had known she was in my body? Or had she been manifested when he spoke to her? I knew she had spoken to him yesterday from her lecture when I woke, but she hadn't actually said what happened.

"How?"

"She likes to think her clues aren't giving away too much, but they do," he said as he settled the collar of the ruined fabric against his skin. I turned back to the bed where I had laid the outer layer of his shihakusho, but had to pause as my balance went kilter and I had to grasp the bed's frame before I fell. I quickly shook it off and took the black fabric in my hands. I was a bit wobbly as I held it up for him to slip into, but thankfully he didn't notice as he slipped into it, this time slower so he wouldn't bunch the white fabric of his nagajuban.

"I don't know what she did while I was dying in our inner world," I said softly as he caught the other sleeve and slid it on. "I only came back to myself when it was already late in the day. I have no idea what she was up to."

"She did what?" His voice was clipped and deeper than normal, making me hesitate when I had turned to fetch his sash.

"I-I don't know. I was in our inner world while she was out galavanting around in my body," I said, mostly repeating myself with a small shrug before I snatched up his sash and turned back to him, this time taking care to make the movement slow so I wouldn't lose my balance. I was abruptly met with steeled aquamarine eyes. "Is something wrong?"

"What did she do to you?" He asked, his voice only barely higher than a growl.

I dropped my gaze to the floor as I thought over my words. What had I said? It was clearly something he didn't like.

"I-I don't know. I was fine when I came back to my body. Whatever she did before that was with Kazui," I said quickly, stammering over my words as I found myself suddenly nervous. I didn't know what she had done to me other than put me in a kimono that was sinfully expensive only to lead me up to ruining it. Had she done something with him?

"Ria, in your inner world," he said as he stepped to me. "What happened in your inner world?"

Oh. That.

"She forced me to figure out the second part of our shikai." My voice was small as I spoke because I knew he wouldn't like what I had to say. He appeared to get along with my zanpakuto just fine, but if I told him she had killed me over and over again for hours on end, would he think differently of her? "Reactive Warding, it's part of my shikai, but it requires the ability to react without control. She blames how I first activated my shikai for my inability to let go of my iron clad control, so she stripped me of my mind's eye by forcing me to give it up." I had to hesitate before I could let myself elaborate. He really wouldn't like what I had to say. Not one bit.

"Ria," he said my name in an almost demanding tone.

I shook my head and stepped closer to him so I could fuss with his sash. I just needed to keep my hands busy while I talked. I didn't know if he understood that or not, but he lifted his arms out of my way as I pulled at the edges of his shihakusho to layer them appropriately.

"She's much better at using our mind's eye than I ever could be," I started to say. "She can animate objects like they're people, and she did just that. She set me against her version of a terra cotta army and left me to try and survive. Of course I couldn't take on,more than one person at a time. My mind's eye can only focus on so many things at once before I am overwhelmed. So eventually, they killed me."

I paused as I looked down at my handy work and a slow, but hopefully distracting smile turned my lips. "I am never going to make this lay right without untying your hakama."

"She killed you?" He said stiffly. Distraction was a failure…

"A lot. I can still remember what every blow had felt like, but there was no pain to it. It was strange and startling at first, but in order to stop it I had to get better. I probably died and was resurrected, if you will, a thousand times before I finally defeated them all without being struck," I said this all as I leaned into him so I could slip the sash around his waist. I couldn't slip the fabric of his top under his hakama like I knew he prefered without untying the land that held his hakama tightly to him, but with how irritated he appeared to be I decided that wasn't the best idea to be trying to undress him further. I settled for allowing the top to go untucked and began tying the knot to keep the layers I had neatly arranged in place.

I was forced to stop in the middle of the knot I had been tying when his hand lifted and gently caught my chin. He coaxed me to raise my head until I was looking up at his hardened gaze. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "Nothing from my inner world carried with me when I came back to my body."

His gaze softened slightly and he leaned down just a bit more, drawing closer to me. His voice was soft when he said again, "are you alright?"

I understood then that he wasn't asking about my physical health, but everything else, so I gave him a quick smile and nodded. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not," he corrected me.

I bit my lip and dropped his gaze, finding the bloody and torn fabric over his shoulder far more interesting than his knowing eyes. "I'm a little mad at her right now, but it's not because of what happened yesterday. Yesterday, I understand even if it was a terrifying experience. She completely desensitized me to the world before she slammed me back into my mind's eye. She didn't even allow me the time to get accustomed to it before she threw me back into the fray. But, I understood that. This morning, however… This morning…"

I let out a rough sigh and tugged on the knot I had made to secure it before turning away from him. I wasn't exactly trying to hide my expression from him, but I knew it must have looked that way to him. I just… I wanted to tell him, but my zanpakuto had warned me not to. I didn't want to keep secrets from him, but I didn't want to break her rules either. What was a happy middle ground?

I stepped to the bed and took up his haori in one hand as I rested my other on my zanpakuto's hilt. I drew her in one slow movement and held her out between Toshiro and I, showing him her blade. "She broke taking the blow that my own spirit energy should have done to my mind's eye."

"I know," he murmured, his voice almost too soft for me to hear. I glanced at him over my shoulder as he continued, "the hairline cracks weren't filled with gold last night, but they were evident in the metal when I picked her up."

"She held me to her as she repaired herself," I said as I drew her blade back towards myself so I could examine the gold filled cracks myself. "I know proximity helps her to use small amounts of our shikai, but she's never held me like that before. I think it's what caused me to slip into our inner world as she looked into the future."

'Herald,' my zanpakuto's voice was like an ominous warning over the sound of my own thoughts.

'They're your rules, not mine,' I thought back at her as I turned her blade so I could see my reflection, her image, in the metal. 'I'll choose which ones I follow and which ones I don't.'

'They are the rules of our power, not just mine. You must-'

'I don't have to follow your rules the way you do. I'll follow them my own way.' With that snappy thought I returned her to her sheath, sliding her blade home gently despite the urge to slam her home. I turned back to Toshiro and moved towards him, avoiding his gaze as I searched for the collar of his haori in the pile I had made of the fabric. I hit something with my elbow and quickly realized he had moved while I had been distracted and I had to jerk slightly to the side to avoid bumping his bandaged chest with my face.

"You were talking to her just now, weren't you?" He asked as his hand caught my waist, steadying me.

I was silent for a moment as my world seemed to waver and I had to focus hard on the fabric in my arms to keep from actually losing my balance. I wasn't sure if he'd noticed how bad my balance was yet, but if not I didn't want to worry him any more. "She's worried that I'm going to break her rules."

"So you saw what she was seeing?"

I nodded as my hands found the collar and I lifted the fabric up. Compared to his shihakusho, his haori really wasn't all that bad, but the red seemed to be fresher on the white silk. It was like it wasn't drying as quickly as it had been on his shihakusho. I hadn't really noticed the difference before I had a been messing with the other fabrics.

"I think it was the future. It was so strange that it didn't make sense until she kicked me out and started lecturing me on her rules," I frowned as I spoke, recalling what had happened. "I want to tell you what I saw. You are a lot smarter than I am and could probably piece it together, but she's already hounding me about her rules and I haven't even said who I saw or where I was."

Toshiro's hand came down on his haori, gently stealing it away from my grip and making me pause my words. He slipped it on in one practiced motion, but I still saw the cringe he was trying not to make before he came back to me. His hands rested on my waist like he was making sure I was steady, but I had a feeling it was to make sure I wouldn't turn away from him again. I had done my best to make sure he wouldnt see my lack of balance because she didn't need to be worrying about me right.

"Did she tell you what the consequences were for breaking her rules?" He asked.

"Briefly, but I have to disagree with her. She sees my future, not hers, not yours. She had no clue what would happen because of her involvement yesterday. What if she had done something different? Maybe she should have asked you not to act on her words, or maybe she should have gone to Squad 12 instead of going with Kazui. So many things could have gone differently, but instead they went they way that they did. What if she had released Luien like Grimmjow wanted? Would they have just left?"

"We can't do that," Toshiro said, shaking his head. His words interrupted my train of thought, instantly making me want to object.

"Why not? Mio is the only one left and you said it yourself that they can't use him to free Mio. She isn't a Soul Reaper. She has no natural resistance to a Hollow's reiatsu. It would just kill her. There is no reason why we can't give him up."

"We can't just give in to his demands."

I bit down on my bottom lip, silencing myself. We had briefly touched on this topic before, when Ichigo and Kazui had first arrived. I knew his stance, his reasoning why, but that didn't mean that I agreed.

Letting out a sigh I lifted my gaze to meet his. "Sorry. I know why, I just can't help myself. Nanao told me they are transferring Mio's baby to some contraption that Captain Kurotsuchi used to make Nemuri, his assistant. They… they want me to go back there so they can sample my reiatsu to try and replenish her own that has been eaten away by the soul candy."

"That's good news," he said as a relaxed smile lit his expression. When my own expression didn't lighten too, his dropped with confusion. "Or isn't it?"

"It is, I'm just worried," I said as I dropped my gaze once more. I steeled myself to admit how the whole situation was making me feel and even started to open my mouth to speak when Toshiro looked up abruptly just before I heard the door slap against it's stop. I glanced over my shoulder but kept my body facing Toshiro as I looked to the doorway to find Lieutenant Kotetsu standing in the doorway, her light grey eyes set on Toshiro's taller form.

"Captain Hitsugaya," she said in an exasperated tone."I knew you would try to leave without checking out."

"Lieutenant Kiyone," Toshiro regarded her as he gently pulled me to the side so he could step between us. "I believe Rangiku should have found you already, has she not?"

"Oh?" she replied with surprise. "I just saw her. She didn't know you were awake."

"Tell her I am, and she will do whatever paperwork you need," he said as he started for the door.

"Woah, wait, sir," Lieutenant Kotetsu said quickly, stumbling over her words as she tried to stop Toshiro from exiting the room without actually getting in his way. "You can't just do paperwork to leave. We need to make sure you're actually fit for duty an-"

"My 3rd seat will be with me. I will be fine," he replied so smoothly it was almost like it was automatic.

"Sir, she is in no state to leave and isn't certified in kaido. If your wound worsens-"

"Lieutenant," Toshiro said, his voice reverting back to the terminally irritated tone that he usually used with most people. "we are leaving. If any issues arise, we will send word."

"Sir," she tried to protest.

"Ria," he said over her as he held his right hand out to me. "Let's go."

My cheeks flushed with a blush, but I didn't hesitate to take his hand and follow him as he lead me out of the room. He didn't seem to care that Lieutenant Kotetsu was calling after us as he walked at a rather aggressive pace down the long hallway that ran down the middle of their medical wing. If he hadn't been guiding me by our clasped hands I probably wouldn't have been able to keep up with him.

Despite his wound, Toshiro appeared to be moving like he was completely unaffected. I could feel the tension in his hand though, and even if he didn't want to admit it I knew he was in pain. It wasn't just a little either. His grip on my hand was almost painfully tight. His strength was always something he was carefully in control of when he touched me. If he wasn't able to pay attention to it… He really was stubborn. He wasn't numb at all.

Toshiro didn't stop walking despite Lieutenant Kotetsu's insistence as she followed us. I was thankful that her attention was focused on Toshiro instead of myself. He could tell her no all day long whereas I would have had no choice but to respond. She out ranked me. Even with Toshiro's presence, I was obligated to acknowledge her requests. Thankfully I didn't have to worry about it long because once we hit the outer doors Toshiro's hand slipped from mine and his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his side.

"Are you alright to flash step?" He asked softly. I barely heard him over the lieutenant's protests as she closed the distance Toshiro had put between us.

"No, but neither are you," I said as I glanced up at him.

"I've had far worse injuries than this and still fought. Flash stepping is hardly a challenge," he said, flashing me a confident grin. "Can you handle it if I carry you?"

"You shouldn't," I said firmly, ignoring his later question.

"Close your eyes," he said just before I felt him take off with his flash step just as Lieutenant Kotetsu came up to us. I jammed my eyes shut with the startling motion, but eased when I felt his arm slip behind my legs and lift me.

"You're going to hurt yourself," I said, resigning myself to his force of action and hiding my face in the palm of my hand.

"I'd rather bleed just a bit more to be alone with you than hounded by others," he said as he held me tighter to him. "You should know by now, Ria. You're the only one that I let see my pain."

And bleed he did. By the time we arrived at his house his bandages were starting to show the blood that had seeped through several layers of gauze and his left arm was visibly shaking from the strain of carrying me and flash stepping. I felt terrible, not just from my spinning head but also for the pain that he was in because of me, so I did my best to see to whatever he needed. It was hard seeing the pained expression he had been hiding earlier. It tore at my heart to see it as I helped him disrobe. He was quick to explain that the pain stealing effects of Captain Kotetsu's shikai only worked as well as he was willing to let it. I think he had thought I would think he had been lying earlier if he didn't say it. I had been wondering, but I had never seen him injured before. Who was I know any better?

We didn't speak much outside of my constant worried questions and his amused but pained answers as I ushered him into bed. I think he would have stayed up if I hadn't joined him, crawling into the futon beside him. He really was a stubborn man. I should have known it by the way he chose to isolate himself for years. He had let me in though, and I intended to stay inside the scarred walls around his heart. She Who Comforts was the perfect name as I cradled his head against my chest, holding him as he finally let himself rest.


	14. She Who Decides

Toshiro slept like the dead the rest of the day and that night. Unlike him I didn't get a wink of sleep. How could I when I was so worried about him? He was in so much pain that even with his eyes closed in sleep he flinched every time he tried to move. I did what I could to comfort him, feathering my fingers through his soft hair and whispering sweet nothings all night. I knew my touch wasn't doing much, but what else could I do? I didn't know kaido let alone very much first aid. Sure, I had the basics, but it had been years since my time at the academy. I was a good as a novice after so long.

Laying there for hours had given me time to think over everything that had happened. Toshiro wouldn't have to explain what happened for me to have a pretty good guess of the events that had taken place yesterday. My zanpakuto had taken over, spoken to Toshiro early enough that he had the time to communicate what she had said to Uncle Shunsui, and from there to everyone else. They had set guard on every senkaimon in the Seireitei, only for the Espada to use the secret back door that we all weren't aware of.

The Espada wanted the Numeros that were prisoners inside Squad 12's facility. I couldn't imagine how Captain Kurotsuchi was controlling them, but it had to be some way or surely they would have broken free long ago. Espada were supposed to be at the level of a Captain when it came to their abilities, and even some of the Numeros. Clearly, that wasn't the case with the ones that he had trapped in his lab or he never would have been able to capture them in the first case. But, if they were weak it meant that I could probably control them myself.

I had been planning all night. I wasn't the type to typically do things that were against the rules, but holding Toshiro as he slept, feeling him flinch with movement, made my heart ache. I had thought about taking up my zanpakuto and attempting to mend his wound, but one thought stopped me every time. I knew he was troubled over Momo, and I knew that as soon as he felt that he could leave, he would. He was going to save her if he could, and I didn't want him to. I couldn't bare the thought of this happening to him again. When I had been ignorant of the violence that he engaged in I hadn't even known to be worried, but now I consumed my thoughts.

If he left for Hueco Mundo there was nothing I could do. He would fight the Espada when he got there and take back our people by force if he could. It was the only option in his mind. I was positive he wouldn't be alone. Ichigo and Kazui had said enough that I knew they would go with him. I hadn't spoken to them since that night, but I just had a feeling.

Somehow, I would end up in Hueco Mundo too, but I knew it wouldn't be with Toshiro that I went. There was no way I would ever be left alone with Grimmjow in that vision if I had. I did something without him, and I was intending to control how that happened.

I wouldn't let Toshiro go as he was. He wouldn't get hurt because of the stupid things I had done. I would go. I would go to Hueco Mundo and save our people one way or another.

I wasn't stupid though. I had thought this plan through all night. I may have been deliriously tired, but it seemed like a damned good plan to me. I was the only one who had my abilities. I just had to suppress myself enough to not attract any attention, but my zanpakuto could do that. If she wasn't too damaged.

'I am as repaired as I will get for some time,' she responded in my mind.

'How long is some time?' I asked as I adjusted the picks I had taped for my fingers. His bedroom had grown cold over the course of the night along with his body temperature. I had been to the point where it was a struggle to not violently shiver before I finally left him to rest. I couldn't handle the cold like he could, so I had come outside to find the fall morning air warmer than his room. With the light just barely enough to see I had slid my guzheng outside, determined to distract my thoughts from the horribly negative planning I had been doing all night. Clearly, it hadn't worked.

'A few days, or a few weeks. It depends on how much you use our shikai,' she replied with an unseen shrug in her voice.

'Days then,' I replied.

'Your thoughts have been buzzing nonstop. Have you finally decided on your course of action?'

'Yes,' I replied as I returned my hands to the strings and began playing a familiar melody. It was difficult trying to play songs meant for my koto on the guzheng. There were more strings, and my fingers couldn't go on autopilot. It showed clearly how distracted I was as I constantly had to correct myself as my thoughts continued down the path they had been on all night.

I was going to go to Hueco Mundo before Toshiro even knew what I was doing. With my shikai, I would figure out how Captain Kurotsuchi was controlling the Arrancar and I would take control of whatever tool he had made. I would abscond with the Arrancar into the Rukon districts and force one of them to open a garganta… or maybe I would take them to the World of the Living. I wasn't entirely sure which was the better option yet. Getting out of the Seireitei wasn't all that difficult, it was not getting caught in the process. I had a plan for that, I just hadn't been able to stay focused by the time I had started to think things through. I had never been much of a planner, but there was no better time than to start now.

Anyway, once we got to the world of the living or Hueco Mundo, it was just a matter of attracting Grimmjow's attention. If I gave him what he wanted, he would give me what I wanted. There was no reason for conflict to ensue after that. Momo and the other Soul Reapers would be happily returned to the Soul Society and all would be well.

Sorta. I would probably be exiled if I did that. I didn't think Uncle Shunsui would let me be executed, so it was better than Toshiro being hurt like this again.

No… that was stupid. If I did anything, I would have to do it without being caught. Maybe I could get away with just stealing Luien? Maybe they wouldn't suspect me? After all, the reason they were keeping him was for Mio. Why on earth would I sabotage that? Sure, I didn't think that he was valuable any more because she couldn't be treated, but I had only voiced that on one or two occasions. Would they put two and two together?

Toshiro would. He was smart and he knew me so well. It had to make me wonder if he would forgive me for doing something like that. I was doing it for him, but would he realize that? If he didn't, I was going to do this for nothing. I wanted to keep him from getting hurt again because of me. And this… this was the only thing I could think of where I could do that for him.

'Your thoughts are becoming muddled, Herald.' My zanpakuto's obvious observation wasn't really helpful. At all.

'Yeah, well, if I knew how the next day or two was going to unfold, I wouldn't be sitting here making horrible music and stewing,' I said bluntly.

'Right now, I don't know what is going to happen. You keep changing your mind. You have four choices. Pick one so I know what to focus on.'

'What, is this some turning point or something?' I asked as my fingers paused.

'The day ends the same, its how you get there that is undecided,' she said in a soft reply.

'That's not very helpful,' I grumbled back at her with a heavy sigh. Four choices… that was more than I had come up with. Clearly she knew more than I did and wasn't planning on sharing.

'What is my name today?'

'She Who Decides.'

I started to ask her another question, but stopped myself when I heard the snick of the shoji door. Toshiro was up. The thought brought relief to the knot of worry that had been in my chest, while throwing my thoughts into a tizzy. I kept playing despite knowing he was right behind me, trying to give myself time to compose my thoughts before I said anything.

I felt the weight of his hand as he placed it on my shoulder and used my body to steady him as he sat beside me. I glanced over at him and smiled just before my fingers fumbled over the strings and I had to return my eyes to what I was doing. I tried not to look tense as I started the chorus over again, fighting with my fingers as they tried to do what I did on my koto. It was difficult to transition like this.

Toshiro didn't say anything as his hand slid down my shoulder and drifted across my back. It took me a moment to realize that he was rubbing circles into my skin, but as soon as I did tears pricked my nose. I fought against the burning sensation and forced my fingers to continue plucking away at the strings.

He knew I had been up all night. He probably even knew that I had been worried the entire time, maybe even how my thoughts had been wandering. He was so perceptive when it came to me and my actions. It was horrible, wonderful thing.

It was probably a good five minutes or so before Toshiro finally broke the silence by asking, "How is it compared to your koto?"

I swallowed back completely different words that had been on the tip of my tongue before I answered him. "Odd. The strings are spaced out differently and there's almost a dozen more. I have a hard time not falling back into the motions that my fingers have memorized."

"You've been playing the same instrument for two decades now?" he asked.

"Over three," I corrected. "I started learning when I began taking lessons at the Kyoraku estate. I was about ten back then and had a starter koto, but I purchased the one I have now a few years later when I decided which one I would specialize in."

He shifted closer to me, the line of his body pressing lightly into my back. "You told me once you play like this to distract yourself. Time to think without thinking."

"Yes," I murmured.

"What are you trying to not think about?" He asked.

The feel of his hot breath ghosting over my ear made my stomach flutter and I had to fight not to let it show. Instead, I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth to stop myself from spilling everything I had been thinking throughout the course of the night.

I felt one of my picks give under a particularly forceful movement against the strings. My steady rhythm faltered and my notes became jumbled before I jerked my hands away from the strings to stop the jarring sound. My eyes were all for the picks on my fingers and I quickly caught sight of the broken pick still taped to my index finger. My fingers began to tremble, but I quickly hid it by pressing the picks flat to my palms, effectively balling my hands into fists.

"I should have changed my picks a few days ago," I quickly said, trying to cover the shock that my broken pick had given me. The picks were actually new, but I had pressed to hard against the strings. I didn't want him to know that though, so I said, "they weaken over time. I have a fresh set in my room."

"Do new picks break so easily?" he asked, his voice gentle.

I went stiff as I realize that he knew what I had been trying not to mention. He had seen me take them out of their packaging last week, so I should have known better. I turned to him then letting him see the conflict in my eyes. His own aquamarine eyes were soft, gentle and not at all half-lidded with sleep like I had expected. He must have been awake for awhile.

"No, they don't usually break very easily," I admitted under the pressure of his gaze.

"Ria, I can't help if I don't know what's wrong," he cooed.

"I don't want to say it out loud," I said, my voice small.

He watched my face for a moment, waiting for my expression to change or maybe just waiting for me to say more. When I didn't, his hand lifted and he ran his fingers gently up my neck. "You're worried."

"Yes," I sighed out as the tension eased from my body. "I know it's silly and at the same time I can't help it. I want to ask you to stay, but as your third seat I can't let myself and as a lady I have to respect your responsibilities. It is my place to support you, not stop you, even if I really want to do."

"I know it's not what you want to hear, but she is my responsibility even though by no official means is she really. I cannot idly sit by let someone else go when I know that I could and that she needs me."

"I understand that, I really do," I said quickly not wanting him to misunderstand what I was trying to say. "I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"I've had far worse than this before, Ria."

"But I've never seen it-" I cut my words off before I could say more. I was worrying too much. I didn't need to drag him down with my own paranoia. "I'm sorry. I should have faith in you but I'm clearly showing a lack of it right now."

A soft laugh fell from his lips, surprising me with the sound of it. "I've never had somebody worry about me like you do. It's comforting to know that you do."

"I'm sorry," I said automatically. My thoughts paused for a moment as I considered his words. "Wait, you've never had somebody worried this much about you before?"

"No, I think the next closest to you was my grandmother, but she's been gone for a while now."

"You know Rangiku worries about you, right?"

"Not like you are right now," he murmured as his fingertips trailed down to my chin and lifted. All the plotting in the planning I had done all night washed away as thoughts of the here and now consumed me. I leaned into him as he kissed me, his lips softly teasing my own with a gentle caress. My hand rested on his thigh so I could balance as I leaned further into him. I wanted to feel him. His body, spiritual pressure, his lips, his everything.

He didn't try to push me away as I crawled into his lap, taking care not to bump his bandages as I pressed as close as I felt I could to him. I was careful of my picks as my fingers slid into his hair and I opened my mouth for him. The taste of him rolled over my tongue and I moaned into his mouth, unable to help myself. I didn't know why I was so desperate, but right now I just needed to feel him. I didn't know if he felt the same way or if he could just feel my urgency, but he didn't complain as his hands found my hips and pulled me in. The sudden urge of desire that washed through me was fueled by the knowledge that if we did this, it might be the last time. I didn't want it to be the last time. Oh god…

His hands trailed down my outer thighs until he found the hem of my yukata. As I felt his hands brush against my skin my body lit on fire. My hand trailed down his neck and caught the edge of his collar. I gently pulled it open, exposing the bandages that I knew were still wrapped around his chest. I pulled back then, just enough so that I could speak against just lips.

"Will doing this hurt you?" I asked between short pants.

"Yes, but I don't care," he said in a husky voice just hands squeezed down on my thighs. I knew that tone and it made me smile that he was able to use it even with his injury. It was the demanding tone that he always used when he knew I wouldn't tell him no. I had never denied him what he wanted, but when he was certain, when he knew I would do whatever he desired he sounded like that.

"Do you remember when I stitched myself up with my shikai?"

"The golden reishi?" He asked.

"Yes. I didn't realize it, but it's meant for healing. It's not real flesh but it's as close as I can get to with my shikai. I wanted to offer to fix your wound with it back in Squad 4's barracks, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, knowing that if you were healed you would probably leave." My words had grown smaller and smaller as I spoke and I grew more ashamed of my selfishness.

He didn't acknowledge my shrinking words, instead his hands slid further back until he was cupped the backs of my thighs just under the curve of my butt. The feel of his battle roughened hands against the tender skin was just enough to make me shudder against him.

"Would it stand up to my spiritual pressure?" He asked as he leaned closer and caught my lips and a quick, demanding kiss.

I couldn't help the pleased sigh that escaped my lips before I pulled back enough so I could meet his gaze. Just as I started to speak I felt my zanpakuto manifest behind me. If anyone else had appeared I would have been embarrassed, but she was me and I didn't care that she saw me like this with him. She was already privy to everything we had done. She was me after all.

"That is a stupid question and you know it," she snipped at him.

I turned to glance over to her and my eyes slowly ran up royal blue fabric to see patterns of feathers dancing in vibrant hues of warm colors all the way up the kimono. Her obi matched the feathers in its red and orange vibrance while the collar at her shoulders had been pulled down further than normal to completely expose her upper chest and shoulders. The same jagged lines of gold I had seen yesterday decorated her skin looking like a kintsugi masterpiece. Her mask was fuller than I had seen it in days, covering her from cheek to hair line in a white mask with jagged golden edges and lines running through it, much like what was across her skin. Her hair was down today, the long black length currently swept over one shoulder to fall down to her waist in a perfectly straight sheen.

"My bankai will freeze anything that is touching me when I fully release it," he said bluntly.

"Your ice will not affect the reishi that is infused with our spirit energy," she said dismissively.

"What? Why?" I asked with surprise.

They didn't seem to acknowledge my words as Toshiro replied to her. "You're sure of this?"

"Of course," she scoffed. "I may have kept it, but you let me. I couldn't have kept it if you were going to reject us."

"It's not about rejecting, its about-"

"Yes, it is," she quickly interrupted him. "We allowed you into our inner world, but you are the one who offered yourself up."

"It works both ways," he seemed to say more to himself.

"You are the one who allowed it," she said stiffly. "I couldn't have kept it if you hadn't."

"Are you certain?"

"Of course," she snipped. "I am the seeker of fate. That you question my judgement is a blatant show of your lack of confidence."

"You couldn't see the future two days ago. How am I to know if you've had enough time to look?"

"I will admit my downfalls if they are relevant," she said stubbornly as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"If you are forced to, is more like it."

My gaze flicked between the two as they continued to exchange cryptic words. What they were on about was a mystery to me, but I wanted to know.

'What are you two talking about?' I asked her in my head.

'You realize that doing this will ruin all the plans you have made, correct?' She asked, changing topics.

'I-I know,' I answered, letting her get away with it. 'My plans weren't the best ones anyway.'

She was quiet for a moment as head turned towards me, telling me she was looking at me from under her mask. 'You have two choices left Herald. Pick one.'

I dropped my eyes and turned back to Toshiro. My gaze wandered over his bandages as I replied, 'I want to support him. If that means helping him rescue Momo, so be it.'

'Then I will help you,' she said, repeating what she had said yesterday.

"You'll have to let me do this," I said as I lifted my gaze to meet his in an almost timid fashion. "Just like Hideo or Amagi, I can't do anything if I can't overpower you. You'll have to let my shikai manipulate yo-"

He kissed me, covering my mouth with his to effectively silence me. I didn't try to pull away, but enjoyed the kiss for a long moment as he pulled my hips tighter against him. When he finally forced our lips to part he murmured, "I already have."

I didn't understand exactly what he meant by that, but I took him for his word. Knowing that his grip on my thighs was firm I let him take a little bit of my weight as I leaned back, arching my back as I reached for my zanpakuto's sword. Snagging her blade from beside my guzheng, I drew her from her sheath one motion and returned to vertical, pressing myself back against Toshiro.

"Maebure no Shukufuku," I murmured the name of my shikai. My armor formed around me, cascading down my body in a sheen of golden reishi as my emotions slid back into the box I kept them in along with the rest of the information my shikai flooded me with. I felt Toshiro's hands leave my skin only for a moment before they clasped over my armor. The sensation of his touch on drew my mind's eye fully to him, but unlike before I didn't fight it. He was what I was trying to focus on so I let him draw every bit of it. With my zanpakuto held in my left hand, I used my right to gently coax his yukata from his shoulders so I could fully expose his chest to my gaze.

I felt my zanpakuto slide into my head and I let her take control from me. Her hand guided mine, trailing our fingertips across the bandages. The white and blood stained gauze dissolved away, becoming flecks of golden reishi that wafted into the air surrounding us. His chest didn't look nearly as bad as it had yesterday. It had scabbed over, the surface of it mimicking the pattern of fabric from the gauze. It was still deep though. I could feel the difference in strength in his arms with my heightened senses. Whatever my zanpakuto did, she would need to give him that strength back.

With his wound exposed I turned my gaze on his face to catch the tail end of a cringe he had been making. His expression gave me pause, but my zanpakuto continued undeterred. The reishi we had turned his bandages into shifted, pulling into a long string like what I had seen her using in our inner world.

I met his eyes for a brief moment, giving him a chance to stop me. When he didn't say thing I gave my zanpakuto a resigned nudge. The string she had created slid along the edge of his wound until it laid flat across his chest as if it were a muscle. Layer after layer of our golden thread wove into his body, filling the wound that he had taken to save me.

"Does it hurt?" I asked when the red and scabbing wound was no longer a wound, but rather a crater of gold in his skin.

"It stopped hurting as soon as your reishi touched me," he said softly.

I nodded. I'd need to figure out how she did that. When I stitched myself up it hurt like real stitches. Then again, maybe he was saying that to keep me from worrying… yeah, that had to be it.

It took my zanpakuto a good amount of time to finish her work. I watched as she layered the reishi string across his chest to mimic muscles, sinew and skin until you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between what was him and what was our reishi. Well, if it weren't for the obvious transition from his pale skin to the glowing gold of our reiatsu. His hands remained on the thigh plates of my armor, but over time his thumbs had started running circles across the metal. I found it to be a welcome caress, but I could feel my zanpakuto becoming irritated as she tried to work. It made me want to laugh.

I reached out to run my fingers down his chest once she was done, barely feeling the transition even with my heightened senses.

"Can you feel my touch?" I asked.

"No," he responded after a moment. His hands slid up the armor of my thigh plates and over my obi, drawing a pleased sigh from my mouth.

"You should probably make sure it won't give under your strength," I said, my gaze meeting his.

"I've seen how strong your reishi can be," he murmured as his hands trailed higher and his touch ghosted over my breast plate. "The last thing I need to worry about is it breaking."

My breath hitched in my throat as my body responded to him and things low in my body tightened. He had teased me with my armor before, but I didn't want to be teased. I wanted him.

'Thank you,' I murmured to my zanpakuto before I set her down to free myself from the emotion limiting features of my shikai.

'We need him,' she replied like it was reason enough.

'We do.'

I dismissed her words as my armor flitted away and my mind's eye diminished. Toshiro didn't bother waiting for it to completely vanish when his mouth found mine. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me tight against his bared upper body as I made quick work of removing my picks from my fingers. I willingly gave into his silent demand as his hands sought my skin and I hurriedly untied the sash that bound my yukata around me.

I didn't care that we were out in the open when he took me to the floor, his body covering mine in sweet bliss. The only thing I cared about was his touch, the feel of him as he bared my body to the chilled morning air. His mouth trailed down my skin in a burning, freezing path of pleasure that had me struggling not to moan too loudly. He filled me completely and my back arched, my hands clamped down on him to hold him to me as he brought me to the edge of oblivion before pushing me over to fall into a pit of senseless pleasure...

It must have been midday when I had finally recovered from the boneless mess he had made of me. I was exhausted, but I refused to let myself sleep when I knew I would only have a limited amount of time with him before he left for Hueco Mundo.

Captain Kotetsu had come and gone, stopping by to check on Toshiro for a moment. I was endlessly thankful that she hadn't come by first thing in the morning. While we were in the act, I hadn't thought about how exposed we had been. She could have walked in on us! She had wanted to stay to examine what I had done, but he hadn't let her. She had tried to protest, but by then they had moved to the front door and I hadn't heard his reasoning. My ears still weren't healed completely, but I wouldn't say anything. He didn't need to worry about me right now, not like that.

I was working on putting on the shihakusho I kept here for emergencies while he had been shooing her away. It had been a few days since I had actually donned my uniform and it felt odd after so much time. If I had a choice, I would have gone back into a yukata and spent the entire day here, with Toshiro. As it was, I didn't have that luxury.

I had resigned myself to going to Squad 12 as Lady Nanao had told me to. As much as I wanted to be with Toshiro as long as I could, Mio needed me. I could only hope that it wouldn't take too long.

"You're leaving?" Toshiro asked me as he came back into the room.

I turned, surprised that I hadn't heard him come back. "Yes, Lady Nanao told me to go to Squad 12 this morning and it's already midday."

He hummed his understanding as he came up to me. His hands found my waist and he gently coaxed me forward until I was in his arms.

"You're going to leave your hair down?" He asked.

"I don't have my ribbons or my kanzashi. Putting my hair up is kind of difficult without them," I said as I pushed my hair back over my shoulder. My hair wasn't as pin straight as my sister's but even still it was long enough to reach my waist.

He let out a soft laugh. "You're always losing it."

"At least I haven't broken this one, I don't think," I commented. I still hadn't fixed the hummingbird kanzashi that my sister gave me years ago. I knew I was hiding behind the fact that she was hospitalized, but I couldn't bring myself to fix it even now. I had broken it twice since she had given it to me, once when I was attacked by a hollow in the world of the living, and again when Mitsugi tried to take me over with his soul candy. I had failed to save my sister and because of that I didn't deserve to wear the delicate item that had been passed down to us by our mother.

"No, it's not broken," he said gently. I went to push the rest of my hair over my other shoulder, but he gently caught my hand and lifted it so he could kiss my knuckles. "Rangiku took it for safekeeping."

I nodded as I dropped my gaze. He had donned his uniform like I was working on doing. I didn't know how many Captain's Haori he had, but he had donned a fresh one that lacked all the horrible stains his previous one had gained.

"What's on your mind?" He asked after a long moment.

"Do you know when you are leaving?" I asked, struggling not to let my voice sound pinched.

"It's been almost two days since Captain Sui-feng left with the execution squad for Hueco Mundo. I can only imagine that she will be back in the next day or so."

I nodded and heaved in a deep breath before blowing it out in a rough sigh. "I guess I should get this over with."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No, you have more important things to do I'm sure. You've been out of the office for two days, so I'm sure there's paperwork stacking up or some administrative fire to put out."

"Ria."

His tone made me lift my gaze to meet his.

"If you want me to, I will." His aquamarine eyes were intensely focused on me and it made a blush race across my cheeks. He meant what he was saying, and he wanted me to know how serious he was.

"I-I'll be fine," I said after a moment. "Thank you, Toshiro."

I picked up my shihakusho top and started pulling it on when I felt the spiritual pressures of three individuals on the edge of my senses. Normally people didn't pop up on my innate radar until they were closer, but clearly I was still on edge from the other night. I knew it was Kazui, Ichigo and someone else moving this way. The feel of that someone else had me frozen as I expanded my senses, allowing myself to really feel them. Was it a Hollow? They felt like it, but they didn't possess that sense of dangerous like the ones I had met the other night. This one felt... Small?

"You sense something?" Toshiro asked as his hand rested on my arm. He knew how sharp my sense for reiatsu was.

"Kazui, Ichigo and someone," I said, my voice slow.

"Nel," he said almost too quickly for me to understand it was a name and not a word. "She's one of the Espada."

"What?" My voice was a squeak as my attention came back to him.

"She's not with the other Espada. It's a long story, but she's on whatever side Ichigo is on."

"You mean that child?" I asked.

"She's not exactly a child," he said as he turned, heading for the door.

I followed him out, watching his back curiously until he walked out onto his front porch. I glanced down at myself then and realized that I had fastened my shihakusho in place and stepped back a bit into the entryway so I could make quick work of my sash without being seen.

"Toshiro," Ichigo's deeper baritone called out in greeting.

"It's Captain Hitsugaya," Toshiro corrected him automatically.

"Sure thing Toshiro," Ichigo said dismissively. "You look like you are healing up well. How's the shoulder?"

"Perfectly healed," he replied nonchalantly.

"What? Already?" He asked, clearly surprised.

"Yes," Toshiro answered, giving no hint at an explanation.

"No way," Ichigo said with a small laugh. "Orihime is the only one who could heal a cero wound like that so quickly. I'll bet you-"

"Do you have news?" Toshiro interrupted.

I could hear the pause in the air like a screaming, intense silence had rolled over them. It made me pause as I was tying the knot in my sash.

"Halibel has taken Las Noche's as her throne, along with most of the other Espada. Captain Sui-Feng was positive that's where they would be keeping the people they took there," Kazui said, his voice serious but still easily discernible from his father's.

"But Nel knows better," the loud but still childlike voice from the other night said. "Nel lives in Las Noches too, so Nel knows where they keep peo- Woah! Don't startle Nel like that!"

"Ah, Seeker!" Kazui said like it was a greeting. That didn't sound good...

"There is a rock in the middle of the desert, and many that look like it," my zanpakuto's said, her voice startling me when it wasn't in my head but coming from the front porch. "They're in one of these locations, are they not?"

I stepped out of the entry way and stopped at Toshiro's side as I found my zanpakuto standing next to a very startled child at the base of the stairs. I easily recognized the broken mask that sat atop of her head, sheltering her blue-green locks almost like a hat. The way she spoke of herself I knew who she was, but it was hard to believe she was an Espada by her appearance. She was still dressed in the overly baggy garments she had been in the other night. They looked like they should have fit a slim adult rather than a child, the fabric of her shirt almost dragging on the ground.

"How did you know that?" the child exclaimed. "Nel thought Nel was bringing good news. You weren't supposed to know!"

The look my zanpakuto gave her wasn't friendly and it made me wonder if she had never dealt with children before. I hadn't had much exposure to them myself, but I had several encounters with them in the Rukon districts. When they weren't acting like little terrors, they were kind of fun. We didn't really have children inside the Seireitei. It was rare for children to be born to anyone outside the Clans and Noble Families, most of them were souls that had moved on as children and ended up outside.

"Well?" My zanpakuto prompted her in a tone that matched her expression. "Are they being kept in one of those rock formations or not?"

"Y-Yes, Nel is pretty sure the little Soul Reapers are," the child chattered out between her teeth as she inched behind Kazui's leg. She appeared to mutter something that was too soft for my ears.

"I am not an Arrancar." Tankyu no Unmei's words were clipped with anger as her eyes narrowed to a glare.

Kazui interrupted then, stepping towards Tanku no Unmei as if to hide the child Espada. "You had to admit, your mask today looks like it could be a Hollow's."

My zanpakuto looked like she wanted to argue, but she quickly bit back her reply and turned in a huff. If I wasn't mistaken, her cheeks appeared to be… rosy? Was she embarrassed? I didn't have a chance to look closer because her image blurred for a moment. It only took her a few seconds to become clear again, but this time her mask was just as sparse as it had been since she repaired our bond.

As she turned back to face everyone I realized she had been wearing her mask that way to hide her face. I couldn't see her eyes before, but now that they were unveiled I could easily see the thick golden line that ran from her ear across her face to the other side in one long line. It passed over her eyes, and just like her skin a golden line ran through both of them, a clear sign of the repairs she had to do. The white mask was completely gone, replaced by a golden weave of vine like patterns that made the jagged lines across her forehead almost indiscernible from her mask.

"Now there is no question of my origins," she said bitterly.

"Wow, you look like a broken doll," Kazui said as he stepped towards her, probably to get a closer look. "How did you do that?"

"I am broken," she said in the flattest tone I had ever heard come from her mouth.

Kazui hesitated, his next words faltering. "I-I didn't realize."

Toshiro turned to me then, blocking my view of the visitors and my zanpakuto. "Why does your zanpakuto speak of Hueco Mundo like she has been there?"

I stared up at him blankly for a moment, trying desperately to come up with an answer that wouldn't completely give away the future I had seen. But, there was nothing I could say that wouldn't be a lie. His question was so direct…

"She can see the future," I tried to answer simply.

"She can see your future," he corrected me. His eyes narrowed in a way that I had never seen him do before. I thought after so much time with him I would have known what every expression meant, but this was new to me. "You've never been to Hueco Mundo, that means that you will be going there if she has seen it."

I cringed and dropped my gaze to my hands. Was this part of the decisions my zanpakuto had been nagging me about all day? Damn it.

"She said that what I saw happened no matter what, but I only saw a minute of it. I don't know how it comes to pass or what context it's in. It may not even be Hueco Mundo. The glimpse I had wasn't enough to determine where I would be. I just know who I was with, what I was doing."

His hands rested on my shoulders and he pressed down, putting enough weight on me to tell me that I wasn't going anywhere as he asked, "What did you see?"

I swallowed hard and struggled to answer him. "G-Grimmjow."

"What?" His question was clipped, almost angry sounding.

"I-I help Grimmjow to do something, free someone."

"How?"

"I don't know," I mumbled. "I didn't see enough to know anything. I just know that it happens one way or another."

"You can't go to Hueco Mundo, Ria. That place is something that you aren't ready for." His words sounded so convincing as he stepped closer, completely hiding my body from view of the others. "It isn't like here nor the world of the living. It's all deserted wasteland and everything wants to kill you. You cannot go there."

"I don't think I have a choice," I said quietly. "It happens no matter what."

His hands slid up, one finding a place on the side of my neck while his other coaxed me to lift my head, his thumb tracing the underside of my jaw. "Are you certain?"

"She is," my zanpakuto said loud enough that we both perked up with her words. "It will happen one way or another, but how we get to that point is still at fate's mercy."

Toshiro hadn't taken his eyes off me while she spoke, but I could tell when his attention shifted back to me. He was silent for a long moment as his eyes wandered over my face. His thumb shifted, drawing up and over my lips in a tender caress. His eyes softened and I quickly realized that the foreign expression I had seen had been suppressed anger. Suppressed anger at me.

"I had intended for you to stay here when we went to Hueco Mundo," he started to say loud enough for more than just myself to hear. "I see now that you would follow, whether it be by your own design or another's."

"I didn't mean to keep it from you, but my zanpakuto warned me of telling you what I've seen. If I try to change it-" I stopped myself as my hand automatically went to her hilt. "I can't break her again like this. We changed my fate the other night and it resulted in this, my near death and her broken blade when she saved me from it. I can't do that to her again."

"I'm not asking you too. I'm telling you that you are going with us."


	15. She Who is Lost

"I'm surprised they are taking you with them," the beautiful woman across from me at the table said as set down her cup of tea. Her skin was pigmented like she either had the best tan I had ever seen or it was purely natural, and her purple hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. She was well built, her body curvy like Rangiku's while still lithe like the warrior I was sure she was. Her spiritual pressure was dim like she was suppressing it, but even still I could feel the power within her. I had met Yushiro Shihoin on several occasions, and I was pretty sure this was his sister. No one had actually said her name though, so I tried to treat her like she was just anyone else and not a probable princess. "I would think Hueco Mundo to be a bit too dangerous for someone like you, and with a Numeros in tow too."

I flushed red at her words, but didn't let myself shrink away. "So long as I am surrounded by reishi, I am fine. It's here in the World of the Living that I'm at a real disadvantage."

"I remember you saying something to that effect that last time you were here," she said lightly.

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember meeting you before," I said softly.

"Don't worry about it," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "My voice is pretty different from being cat to this. I'm still surprised though. Isn't he one of Grimmjow's? I think I've seen him before once or twice."

"He's Grimmjow's Fracciones, Luien Baras," I explained. Toshiro had been less than pleased when I had come back from Squad 12 with the Numeros in tow. In fact, I'd say that was a severe understatement. He'd been downright livid, but it hadn't been solely directed at me. It had been Uncle Shunsui's decision, even if I had asked him for his advice. It had only been a few hours ago, so I could clearly remember how the conversation had gone.

_"Well," he started, "you're the only one who's seen what's supposed to happen. So what do you think you need to do?"_

_"We need to take him with us," I said as I met relaxed cobalt grey eyes. "I can't explain why, but I just know that we do. Luien needs to go, at the very least, or Grimmjow won't even consider working with us."_

_"That's not how things like this usually work," Uncle Shunsui said as he lazed back on his hands. "Under our usual circumstances, we wouldn't work with them at all. Why do you think we should change how we do things now?"_

_"Do we really want to start a fight with the Espada, or do we want to just give up one person who doesn't matter?" I asked in my most placating voice._

_"He doesn't matter to the 13 Court Guard Squads, but he matters to you, to your sister," he reminded me._

_"But he doesn't," I argued back. "Mio isn't a Soul Reaper. Trying to treat her with the spiritual pressure of an Arrancar, a Numeros no less, will just kill her. Now that she's not carrying a child, Captain Kurotsuchi can try other methods like supplementing her with my reiatsu."_

_"And if that doesn't work?" he challenged. "If we give Luien Baras back to Grimmjow, we have lost one of the only options that we know can work."_

_"Then we force him to agree to return if we need him," I tried again. "Captain Kurotsuchi is controlling the Arrancar he has locked away somehow, and Urahara has some hold on Grimmjow. There has to be a way to force him to come when we call."_

_"That would satisfy Grimmjow's demand, but that won't satisfy Halibel's."_

_I paused for a moment, my mind reeling in the other direction. Crap… I hadn't really cared about Halibel when I had been making my plans. I had been so wrapped up in Grimmjow…_

_Uncle Shunsui laughed more to himself than at me and thoughtfully lifted a cup to his lips. "I know you have good intentions Ria, but you have become so focused on only one part of the problem that you aren't giving credit to the rest."_

_"It's the only thing I can see working to ensure my future happens accordingly," I said softly as I turned my gaze out on the water that surrounded the porch we were sitting on. I had come to find him after I had visited Squad 12 to see my sister and supply them with a sample of my reiatsu. At first it had been like taking blood, but I ended up giving them a piece of reishi that I had made entirely with my shikai instead of pulling from the world around me. That had been when I had looked through the building, my mind's eye drawn to the Arrancar that I had been so furiously plotting over._

_"Why does Captain Kurotsuchi even need them anymore?" I asked as I thought back to them._

_"He probably doesn't," he said simply. I could almost hear his shrug in his voice._

_"I don't understand why we can just give them back. It doesn't make sense to me, especially if they aren't of any real use outside of being Captain Kurotsuchi's pets."_

_"If I understand what happened correctly, they were corpses that he brought back to life. They aren't really prisoners so much as reanimated bodies that just happened to be former soldiers in Aizen's army."_

_I had paused to give him a shocked stare. "Corpses?"_

_"Yeah," he said lazily as he shifted to sitting up straight once more. "It's something similar to what he did to Toshiro, Rangiku, Kensei and the others after they was taken over by that Quincy. They're still who they were and all, but they were never really taken prisoner."_

_"I didn't realize that," I said thoughtfully. "So the only one that's really a prisoner is Luien."_

_"Well, more like a living cure to Hideo's zanpakuto," he mused._

_"But, there's no one left to cure that can be cured," I said softly._

_His eyes had slid to the side so he could look at me as he asked, "are you certain that he isn't needed any more?"_

_I met his cobalt grey eyes and held them. "Yes, I am certain."_

That had all happened before I had gone to Squad 12, and everything had fallen down hill from there. Uncle Shunsui had gone with me to speak to Captain Kurotsuchi. They had vanished while Nemuri had poked me with sharp things and I had given her a piece of reishi I had created with my shikai. I hadn't actually seen the conversation take place between the two captains, but their return was wrought with angered motions on Captain Kurotsuchi's part and a placating smile that never seemed to leave Uncle Shunsui's face.

Uncle Shunsui had escorted me clear to the senkaimon once Luien Baras was in tow. I think he knew just how angry Toshiro was going to be with me for having gone around him to get Luien with us. I hadn't really spoken much to Toshiro since then. I wasn't avoiding him or anything, but up until we had passed through the senkaimon he had been tied up in discussions with the captains who had come with us, or the head captain who had seen us off.

"You seem distracted."

I looked up from the table and gave the woman across from me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, there's just so much that has happened today."

Her lips quirked in a grin. "I suppose that's why you're here instead of down stairs."

I nodded slowly. "I'm pretty sure Captain Hitsugaya is displeased with me."

"Well no duh," she said with a small laugh. "I could tell that the moment y'all walked in."

"Was it that obvious?" I mumbled.

"Oh yeah," she said merrily as she took another drink of her tea. "You can always tell when he's upset. He starts acting like Byakuya, all short sentences and a lofty presence. I find it rather amusing, personally."

"I don't," I mumbled.

"Aw, you two haven't had a fight yet, have you?" she asked as she leaned forward to suggestively say, "Make-up sex is the best part."

"W-what?" I half shouted in surprise as I leaned back and felt my face flush red with embarrassment.

"Huh? Have you seen the way he looks at you? There's no way you two aren't doing it. It's like-"

I felt Luien's spiritual pressure just before the door to the room slid open and slapped angrily against the wall. The fiery Numeros stepped into the room without any sort of greeting and plopped down on the unoccupied side of the table in a grumpy heap. The fiery arrancar looked just like an inverted image of a Soul Reaper with his white shihakusho and black under shirt. I was surprised that after being locked in Squad 12's facility for so long that he had maintained his original appearance, but I didn't bother calling it out. Just like the fire colored hair and hot orange eyes that accented his features, he appeared to have an equally blazing temper. Angering him just didn't seem like a good idea, even if I knew how to incapacitate him with a thought.

My hand automatically went to my zanpakuto at the thought of how he probably hated me. I had made it clear to him that I would use the tools that Captain Kurotsuchi had implanted in him to render him defenseless if he tried anything, so I wasn't too worried. The captain had explained to me what he had done, and I had seen the contraptions with my mind's eye. I could activate them just as quickly as I had pulled those nails from my guzheng's packaging. It wouldn't take more than a thought, just an instant, to completely disable him and I had made sure he was completely aware of it.

"I can open a garganta," he said gruffly.

"And you can close it too," Kisuke said merrily as he too walked in and found a spot beside his beautiful female companion. The blonde shop-owner didn't look like the former captain that I knew he was. Instead, he looked almost like he belonged in the outskirts of the Rukon districts. I remembered his clothing appearing perfectly maintained the last time I was here, but now he looked like he had been rolling around in the mud or something. The black short haori was tattered and less black and more of a really dark brown. His striped hat was missing, and his green pants and shirt were about as pristine as the rest of him. His appearance made me want to ask what had happened, but I thought better of it.

"I could open one right here if I wanted to," he grumbled as his orange eyes glared at the scruffy shop owner.

"Ria here isn't the only one with a button," he mused in an almost sing song voice. I knew he was referring to Toshiro, who I had given the actual triggers that Captain Kurotsuchi had begrudgingly handed over. I didn't need them, not with my shikai, and it only made sense that I wouldn't be the only one who could incapacitate him.

"It's the only reason I'm still here," he griped.

"Hey now, cheer up. You'll be back in Hueco Mundo soon enough."

Those fiery orange eyes lifted and settled in a firm glare on the shop owner. Kisuke didn't flinch though, instead his smile growing in an unphased grin.

Banter continued to pass between the three, but I tuned them out as I turned my attention elsewhere. The training area that was deep below ground was a sealed area that didn't allow spiritual pressure to pass beyond its walls. Kazui had explained, apparently for a second time, how the underground areas worked when he had left me up here with the tanned and gorgeous lady I had been chatting with for most of the afternoon. If he hadn't explained I might have been worried that they left without me when their spiritual pressures had vanished from my senses. They being the two substitute Soul Reapers with the child Espada attached to them, Captain Hirako, Captain Kotetsu surprisingly, Captain Zaraki and Toshiro. I didn't understand some of the people that were joining us, but at the same time I was glad. We were bringing enough people that if we did get into a real fight, there was no way we could lose, but at the same time it concerned me. If they did decide to fight it out instead of working together…

I shook my head. There was no need for me to be worried like I was. Everything would work out. It had to.

"Hey Boss," a male voice I didn't recognize called out as a young man with bright red hair stepped into the doorway. "We're almost ready down below."

"Thank you, we'll be down shortly," Kisuke said politely as he waved at him.

"Sure thing," the man replied as he departed as quickly as he had appeared.

"I suppose I should say this now," Kisuke started without pause as his shadowed gaze turned on me. "A little bird told me you were looking for Grimmjow."

"I'm not looking for him, but I know I'm going to find him one way or another," I said to correct him.

"I'm sure someone has said something, but he's somewhat employed by us, if you will. When we want something done, so he does it. It was part of the price he paid when we brought him back from the edge of death." Kisuke leaned forward to rest his arms on the tabletop, his gaze focusing into a very serious expression. "Outside of the Arrancar, we probably know how he works best. He's violent, egotistical, and ruthless. All of the Espada represent an aspect of death, and his is destruction."

"I was faced with his cero when they came to the Soul Society," said softly as the memory replayed in the back of my mind. "I am well aware of how quick he is to take action."

"I don't know what they're up to down there, but I can say with all three of the remaining Espada involved, and apparently with their own goals, it can't be as horrible as you are probably thinking."

I lifted a brow at him. "How do you figure? They're the strongest beings that exist in Hueco Mundo. How is having them involved better than the lesser beings?"

"Arrancars are typically just as intelligent as you or I," He said with a shrug. "The more Human they appear, the more intelligence they have."

"I understand the differences between the classes of Hollows. What I don't understand is how it's better to have three people that are on the same power level as a Captain requiring us to go into their territory."

"It's a good thing because they aren't just after violence. Grimmjow is a violent bastard and doesn't do well in group activities, but that he's willing to work with Halibel to get what he wants means he desperately wants something. Whatever that is, is beyond just wanting his Fracciones back."

Luien shifted, drawing up from his slouch. "You're wrong. I know why he wants me back."

An amused smile brightened Kisuke's expression and he sat back, watching Luien like he was waiting for something to laugh at. "And why's that?"

"I am his Fracciones. I serve him, and he protects what is his."

"Alright," Kisuke said in an accepting tone.

Luien's brow furrowed. "You do not believe me. Why?"

"No reason," Kisuke mused, his grin never faltering.

"Ria," the lady beside Kisuke said, drawing my attention. "You've never been to Hueco Mundo, right?"

"No," I answered with a shake of my head. "I barely come to the World of the Living. Hueco Mundo was something I was content to never see."

"Hm, I have something for you then. Would you mind coming with me?" She asked as she gracefully stood.

"I don't mind at all," I answered as I followed suit and stood. I left Luien and Kisuke to their continuing debate as I followed her out of the room and down the hallway. As they continued to talk, I had a feeling that Kisuke was far more intelligent than the Numeros, but I didn't want to point that out so bluntly. By the sound of their softening words, Kisuke was playing with him.

"You're about my size," she mused when she turned and slid open a door to one of the many rooms and walked in. "It shouldn't be to hard to find something that will fit."

As I followed her my eyes automatically went to her voluptuous breasts and I shook my head. "I'm not exactly your size."

She flashed me a grin and turned away, finding another door in the mostly vacant room and pulling it open. I stayed in the empty room, recalling that I had been in here before when I had first used a gigai. They had treated this place like a changing room, so I could only guess what she was rummaging through.

It took her mere moments to emerge with a bundle of tan cloth in her arms and what felt like hours to play with me like I was a dress up doll. I knew it had only been a short while, but with the various outfit changes and things that were too loose, time seemed to fly. At least she wasn't shy and treated every order almost like it was business as usual. It made stripping so I could change into the next outfit easy and not flustering like it would have been with Rangiku. I could almost hear the teasing comments coming from the blonde lieutenant.

"I think we have it," she said as her hand clapped down on my shoulder and she turned me towards the mirror that stood in the corner of the room.

I couldn't help but to gape at the outfit. I had seen images of Human uniforms before, but this was just something else. Tan cargo pants hung from my hips, held up by a brown belt that clung to my waist underneath a jacket made of similar material. Pockets were sewn into the pants at my outer thighs as well as at the bend of my hips and butt, but they were perfectly smooth like they had never been used. The jacket was loose fitting, most likely because I was smaller than her, but it was fitted enough to still somewhat show off my figure. The top had pockets over my breasts, but otherwise remained smooth. Each of the seams was trimmed with black thread, matching the shirt that I had on under the jacket and the boots that came almost up to my knees, covering the bottoms of the pants. My zanpakuto hung from the belt instead of the sash I normally used, finding that wearing her like this almost made it easier to draw her.

"Is this what Humans wear?" I asked as I turned, inspecting the collar of the jacket and the black buttons that held its edges together around me. It was well made, and even though the fabric felt light, it also felt sturdy. It wasn't anything I had ever felt before.

"It was Kisuke's first attempt at making something that wouldn't be ripped apart by reiatsu. He made a few of these, but I completely destroyed the first set and refused to wear the rest. Good thing too, because this appears to fit you well enough."

"Is it supposed to be tighter?" I asked, pretty sure I already knew the answer.

"Yeah, but you're a bit less curvy than I am," she said as she put a hand on my shoulder and lightly guided me to turn. She pulled the fabric at my back tighter at my shoulder blades and waist as she watched what she was doing in the mirror. "It should be more like that, and you really shouldn't need a belt to keep the pants up, but you do need to attach your zanpakuto to something."

"Is this made of reishi or whatever's here in the world of the living?" I asked as I glanced back at her.

"Reishi, why?" She replied.

I tried to not smile as I took hold of my zanpakuto's hilt and called my shikai for only an instant. The fabric adjusted in a minimal wash of golden reishi as the outfit adjusted like I had gone to a tailor and returned in seconds, turning the jacket from a loose and somewhat fitting feature into the perfect fitting and figure flattering garment. I did the same thing to the pants, adjusting them to what I could imagine was intended and shifted the boots she had given me so that they didn't feel so stiff and better fit my feet.

I had intended to only hold my shikai for a second, but I couldn't help myself as my mind's eye was briefly pulled away to focus on something beneath us. I blinked as I realized I was feeling myself… no, it was Toshiro. The reishi I had filled his wound with stood out in my head like a beacon, drawing me to him.

"Woah," she said with surprise, drawing me away from my mind's eye. I released my grip on my zanpakuto, but like a lingering impression from looking into a light Toshiro's presence glimmered in the back of my mind even as I met the yellow-gold eyes of the woman who was helping me. "That was a pretty nifty trick you did there. I didn't realize you could use your zanpakuto like that."

"She's capable of all sorts of things," I said merrily as I turned to inspect myself.

She hummed in understanding before she walked around behind me so I could see her in my reflection. "Hueco Mundo is pretty much a desert. Between night and day the temperature shifts by about forty degrees. Your shihakusho won't be enough to keep the chill at night away, nor thin enough to keep you from overheating during the day. This should keep you warm, but cool enough at the same time. Plus, the pockets are always handy."

"Thank you for letting me borrow this," I said, smiling at her in the mirror.

"If you don't ruin it down there, you can keep it," she said lightly. "If you decide to keep in contact with Kazui, you never know when you're going to have to go back down there."

"Why do you say that?" I asked as I turned so I could actually see her face for myself.

"Oh, no reason," she mused as she started for the door.

I took her words with a grain of salt and followed her out, finding my movement a bit different with the far tighter outfit on. I didn't exactly mind the funny feeling, but the cargo pants were certainly different. Instead of feeling like I was wearing a kimono with extra fabric, if felt like a mix of baggier clothes and the Human-like pants I had wore when I was in a gigai. It was odd, but not restricting... Very odd.

"You'll get used to it."

I startled a little when I realized that she had glanced back at me as I was taking a large step to test how much I could move. I flushed red, again, and quickly retracted my extended limbs.

"Sorry," I mumbled with embarrassment.

"You're fine," she said with a smile.

"Ah, are you two ready?" Kisuke asked as we approached him in the hallway.

"What do you think?" she said as she stepped to the side and gestured at me.

"Yoruichi! You've outdone yourself," he mused as his eyes traveled up and down me. So she was Yoruichi... "I had no idea it would fit so well."

"Of course it would," she tisked before she walked into the room the Kisuke had been standing beside. How he didn't question her was baffling to me. It had fit before I'd used my shikai, but not like this. I didn't have her body to fill it.

I followed her and Kisuke, finding Luien as his head dipped down a hole placed hole in the floor. We all followed him, and I found that it was a ridiculously long ladder that lead down through the earth and into a vast area that looked much like the one in the Soul Society. At first I had taken each step of the ladder with caution, but once the shaft had opened to the room I gave up clinging to bars and jumped off, finding it far easier to flash step down to the ground below. The boots I was wearing weren't nearly as flexible as the sandals I normally wore which made my flash steps a bit awkward, but I made it work and landed a bit heavier on the ground than I normally would have.

I didn't bother glancing around as I kicked the toes of my boots into the ground to adjust the way they sat on my feet. This outfit would take some getting used to. I had worn kimonos and shihakusho all my life. This stuff was weird, but I would take Yoruichi's advice. At least melee combat wasn't my forte or I'd be in trouble with these oddly fitting items.

Taking hold of the jacket's hem, I pulled at it in an attempt to adjust it and started walking towards where I knew Toshiro was. I could still feel the reishi in his chest like it was an almost magnetic pull and I knew which direction he was in without even thinking about it. I was pretty sure it was just because there was nothing else around to muddy my sense of him, but it was nice. Even knowing that he was still mad at me and the uneasy feeling that knowledge brought, I found comfort in the feel of him.

"Ria, over here!"

I glanced up from the ground directly in front of me to see Kazui waving at me from what must have been a hundred or two yards away. Apparently I had landed on the far side of the area from where everyone was gathered. I waved back and flash stepped forward, not wanting to make him wait for me to walk the distance.

"Sorry," I said as I stopped before him. "I've never been down here before."

"It's all good," he replied with a smile. "I see Yoruichi got her hands on you too."

I looked him up and down, admiring the outfit that was very similar to my own. His seemed to fit better than mine had a first, but he had rolled the sleeves up instead of leaving them to cover his arms completely. His jacket was a bit different from mine, the thread, collar and inner lining tan like everything else while mine as black. I glanced away from him and to the others in the area to find them all in similar clothing. They had all altered their outfits to some degree, except Captain Zaraki who had apparently refused to change his outfit at all.

"Yes, she did," I said, my words sounding a bit distracted as I searched the surrounding people for Toshiro. It wasn't just him that wasn't present in the small gathering, but Ichigo and the child Espada as well.

"You're looking for Toshiro?" Kazui asked. I blushed a bit at his words and turned my attention fully to him.

"Yes," I replied with a nod. "I was hoping to talk to him again before we left, but it appears that I may not have the chance."

"I think Dad and him are talking strategy before we head over there," he said thoughtfully. "They took Nel with them, since she's been living in Las Noches for a few years now. She knows the current layout better than I do, since we spent most of the time I was there out in the desert or in Menos Forrest for training."

"That child knows so much?" I asked, shocked.

He laughed. "No, not Nel, but Nelliel does. When her mask was broken, she reverted into the form of a child. To fix this, Urahara made her an armband to keep her in her true adult form. Apparently it slipped off after I left and she couldn't remember to find it as a child, so she's been stuck that way until now."

"So, she's not a child?" I asked slowly.

"Nope, she really is an Espada," he said with a laugh. "Halibel and her were the third Espadas. So long as Nelliel doesn't lose her arm band, they're on completely equal levels."

I blinked at him. I didn't believe him at all…

"Kazui!" A female cheer sounded just before a white clad female crashed into the substitute Soul Reaper, taking him to the ground. I lurched back, giving the two space as the vaguely familiar woman who had crashed into him snuggled closer to him, her face pressing affectionately into his neck.

"H-Hey Nelliel," he said as he pushed at the woman. "I don't really think this is the time for such greetings."

"What?" she gasped in mock offense. Mature hazel eyes met my own as she turned and looked up at me. We blinked at each other for a long moment, me not knowing what to do and her assessing. Her eyes lit up with delight with some thought that had passed through her eyes. "Oh, this must be your girlfriend!"

"What?" Kazui and I said at the same time.

"Oh, of course!" She said as she untangled herself from around Kazui and jumped to her feet. She approached me and I stepped back when she stopped so close that her nose was almost brushing mine. Her hazel eyes were intense as she seemed to zero in on my face, taking in my features like they were something odd and unusual, when if anything she was the odd one. She was dressed in some sort of extremely revealing garment made of mostly of white material with accenting black portions. It wasn't more than enough material to provide her with a pair of shorts that were more like underwear and a top that concealed her breasts, shoulders, and little else. The boots that she wore probably covered more skin than her shorts and shirt combined...

"I think you have it wrong," I said hesitantly.

"You're pretty enough," she said like she hadn't heard me. "But, you're a Soul Reaper. I always thought he'd get together with another Human, but I suppose that isn't necessarily a bad thing."

"We aren't-" I stopped my words when a hand landed on my shoulder. I would have startled if I hadn't felt Toshiro's spiritual pressure at that moment, telling me it was him before I glanced back at him. Just like Kazui and I, he had donned the tan uniform like outfit. However, unlike us his uniform appeared to fit him perfectly. He had left the jacket unbuttoned to expose the dark green shirt he was wearing beneath it, representing our squad's colors. It made me wonder if the other captains were color coordinated too.

"She's mine, Nelliel," he said smoothly. His aquamarine eyes shifted down to me for only a moment, appearing cold and distant, before they returned to the Espada. That one look told me that he was still angry and I quickly dropped my gaze as my heart felt like it was sinking in my chest.

"Oh, well in that case hi," she said as she stepped back a bit and offered me her hand. "I'm Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck, the third Espada."

I tried not to let my inner turmoil come through as I reluctantly took her hand out of politeness. "Ria Yamamoto."

She gave my hand a quick shake before she turned around and started talking to Kazui. I ignored their conversation as Toshiro's hand slipped from my shoulder and I felt him step away. I turned, wanting to reach out and stop him from walking away. I stopped myself before I did though. What would I say to him? I could apologize, but it wasn't like I was actually sorry. I had to do it, but… Maybe I could have done it differently? I-I didn't know.

"Let's get this show on the road," Kisuke said as he walked past me and approached the group of gathered captains. I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth and reluctantly followed him.

Kisuke stopped beside one of the large pillars that was closest to us and abruptly jumped up, landing on one of two wooden beams that protruded from the pillars. He placed the cane that he always carried around but I barely ever noticed on the ground like he was actually using it. "Are you guys ready?"

"Hurry up already. This shit is getting boring," Captain Zaraki groaned.

Kisuke laughed a little as he slid down, resting one knee on the ground as he knelt. "This can be dangerous, just make sure you all aren't too close."

The shop owner didn't appear to wait for anyone to actually back up as his hand began to glow with his reiatsu. I noticed myself backing up a bit as it continued to grow and had to force myself to stand still despite the sweat that was threatening to bead on my forehead. Words fell from his mouth as his spiritual pressure felt like it had plateaued, "my right hand is the stone that bridges worlds. My left hand is the blade that binds reality. The black-haired shepherd is hung from a chair. Stratus clouds come, and I strike down the ibis."

The blue color of Keisuke's reiatsu flooded over the beam he was kneeling on, engulfing the surface in his power before it shot across the space to cover the other beam in a similar manner. Two vertical lines of energy appeared at the end of each beam and shot to the ground, forming a roughly defined rectangle. Kisuke lifted his cane and slammed it down, causing a boom to wash over us. In an instant a doorway that appeared much like a senkaimon stood gaping wide before us. Darkness loomed beyond the open doorway, looking almost like a smokey, ominous miasma instead of the light that eminated from behind the doors when we traveled to and from the Soul Society.

"That is supposed to be a garganta?" Luien said, breaking the silence that had ensued once the doorway was complete.

"It's better than a garganta," Kisuke said as he stood and smiled down at us. "This is a modified senkaimon."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that it can be opened from Hueco Mundo, if you have the key," he replied, his smile turning into a smug grin. He held up a small rectangular stone that had been held in his palm. "Think of this as your hell butterfly. You'll still have to run between the worlds, but this will keep the gates open until you are safely back in the World of the Living."

Kisuke tossed the stone block down, clearly aiming for Shinji as the blonde captain reached out and caught it.

"Any other tricks you want to inform us of before we go?" Shinji asked as he looked as he pocketed the stone.

"Not that you aren't already aware of," Kisuke mused.

I could almost hear the eye roll in Shinji's voice as he grumbled, "yeah right."

I watched as Shinji stepped to the doorway and confidently walked through it like it was nothing. A path of white formed under his feet as he walked into the darkness and stopped after a few steps to look back at us. "What? Afraid you can't make a path or something? Let's get going."

I stood back, unsure of myself as Captain Kotetsu passed through the doors closely followed by Ichigo who I hadn't noticed until now. I watched Toshiro's back as he moved up next. Just as he was about to step through the gateway he appeared to pause. He turned, his eyes finding me and pausing. I felt like I was frozen in his gaze, unable to move as I waited for him to do something. Anything…He let out a heavy sigh and his shoulders dropped from the tense posture he had been holding.

"I'll be just a moment," he said as he fully turned and passed Captain Zaraki as he came to me. He reached out and caught my hand in a firm grip before he pulled me to the side to put some distance between us and the remaining members of our group. He lead me around him as he stopped, putting his back to them and placing me where I couldn't see or be seen around his larger form. His hand dropped mine, leaving us parted by only a foot and facing each other but not touching.

I could feel my hands trembling ever so slightly as anxiety raged through me. This was it. This was going to be some fight that I never wanted to happen. He had to be so mad at me. I didn't know what to do.

"Are you certain that what you saw was Hueco Mundo?" He asked, his eyes locking onto mine. I was a bit taken aback with his question, but I quickly rerouted my thoughts to answer him.

"No, but I can't imagine where else it could be." I tried to sound as sincere as I could despite the nervousness that was creeping into my chest. I knew he was mad, and I didn't want to say something that would upset him more, but… "It wasn't the Soul Society, and it wasn't like anything I have seen in the World of the Living. It was a stairwell, the walls and steps looking as if they were hand carved, but when I was shoved against the surface it didn't feel tooled. I… I don't know where it was."

He closed his eyes and pulled in a slow, dragging breath. I probably shouldn't have described my encounter with the Espada like that.

I could tell he was fighting with himself, so I continued talking to try and make it sound better. "My zanpakuto said it happened one way or another, but I saw myself like it was the third person and I didn't look any worse for wear. I was actually really confident and said things that made it sound like everything was somehow fine. The things I was saying didn't make any sense, but I wasn't scared at the time."

"Are you scared now?" He asked, stopping my ramble.

"Terrified." The word slipped out before I could stop it, but I rolled with it like it was intentional. "But not as much as I would have been if I had done what I was planning to do."

"Planning?" He asked as his brow lifted in a quizzical expression. I started to explain but his fingers covered my lips, silencing me. "I don't think telling me is a good idea right now."

I nodded slowly and he dropped his hand.

"Do you know why I was so angered?" He asked, his voice softening so I was sure to be the only one who heard him.

"Because I went around you as my Captain and spoke to Uncle Shunsui," I said in an equally quiet voice.

"No," he murmured, shaking his head lightly. "As irritating as that was, I understood it. He is like family to you. It only makes sense that you go to him or Nanao when you feel like I am not listening."

"It wasn't like that-" he silenced me again with his finger, but this time he left it over my lips as he continued.

"I was angry because you are intentionally putting yourself in harm's way. Even if it's to follow the path that your zanpakuto has determined to be your fate, it's still danger that I cannot be certain I will be there to shield you from."

I covered his hand with my own and gently pulled it down so I was holding his hand over my chest. "What I said in the vision is already not true any more. Whatever path would have been traveled no longer exists. It could be better or worse, but aside from getting to that point I don't know what is going to happen."

He watched me in silence for a long and intense moment. He was so good at controlling his expression that I had no idea what was going through his head. He was hiding, closing down on himself even as I stared into his aquamarine eyes.

"I believe your zanpakuto hasn't told you something that I think you need to know before we go," he said slowly. His hand dropped from mine and he lightly caught the belt loop of my pants to pull me gently towards him. My hands slipped under his open jacket almost automatically as I slid into his embrace and he pulled me tightly to him. I hid my face under the collar of his jacket like I was trying to burry myself in him as the tightness that had been growing in my chest eased with his touch. Gods, it felt so good to hold him and be held in return. A small part of me had wondered if he would ever hold me like this again. He had been so angry...

"This reishi you wove into me is infused with your reiatsu. I can feel you even when we are apart, like a piece of you is always with me," he murmured as his hand rested over my chignon, making the chains of my kanzashi jingle.

"I can see it like a beacon when I use my mind's eye," I murmured as I nuzzled my nose into his chest, knowing that I was pressing into the part of him that I had filled with my reishi.

"Just like I can feel you," he said so softly that I almost didn't hear him.

"You just said that, silly." I squeezed him as I smiled into the fabric of his shirt.

His hand shifted from the back of my head to my chin and he lifted, coaxing me to look up at him. His lips met mine and as I went to kiss him back he exhaled, breathing into me. Cold, almost icy air rushed through my mouth and I inhaled it like the drug it was as it rushed into my lungs. The feeling was absolutely delicious as he basked me in the frigid sensation I had loved since the first time I had felt him like this. His breath always turned cold when we were in the middle of far more intimate things, but this time it was tinted with purpose rather than just something that happened. It was like the cold was seeping further into me than just my lungs, some how deeper than should have been possible. It didn't really strike me as odd until I felt something deep within my gut respond to him and my entire body shivered in response.

My eyes flew open as our lips parted and I stared up at him, wide eyed and shocked. Vaguely I heard someone calling for us, but I was so focused on him that their words passed me by. He didn't seem to hear them either as his eyes stayed locked with mine. Part of him... Part of him was still residing in my inner world. I had never felt it before, but now that I knew it was there it stood out like a glowing cold in the back of my mind.

"How long have you- have I- this-" I stopped myself as I realized I was struggling to come up with the right words.

"Since the day you first let me in." His voice was soft and tender, matching his eyes.

"How did I not know?" I asked.

"Your zanpakuto and I speak sometimes when you are not present. It was her desire to allow me access to you, should you succumb to another situation like the last time we were here."

"I had no idea," I said more to myself than him as my hand slid between us to rest over my diaphragm where I could imagine the sensation of his spiritual pressure coming from.

"How did you think I always knew when you were in trouble, or where?" He asked, a small and chiding smile turning his lips.

"I don't know. You were always just there."

"My sense for spiritual pressures isn't as keen as yours. It's normally like a compass, telling me which direction and how strong," he explained as his hand rested over mine, covering my abdomen with his palm. "But for you, I know exactly where you are and what condition you are in based off this piece of me that is inside you. It's how I knew where to find you when you were injured in the arena, after you killed Amagi, or on Sokyoku Hill."

I was at a loss for words, but I knew I had to say something. I ended up babbling after a moment, somehow asking, "will this weaken you?"

"Will this," he said as he lifted my hand and pressed my palm to his chest "weaken you?"

"No," I replied dumbly.

"The same goes for me," he cooed. "When we are in Hueco Mundo, no matter where you are and I am, I will always feel you. If you need me, I will be there."

My mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out. I tried again, but still I was silent. I must have looked like a gaping fish to him, but he didn't call me out on it. Instead he leaned down and pressed his forehead to mine and let his eyes slide closed. "No matter what, I will be there."

"Hey, Hitsugaya, we got shit to kill," Captain Zaraki called out. "Quit with that mushy shit already and get over here."

I suppressed a smile at his bluntness and started to step back, but Toshiro's grip around me wouldn't relax. His larger frame was already blocking me from view of the others, and I think he used it to his advantage as he caught my mouth with his once more. He kissed me like he had to drink me down, tasting me like he wasn't going to ever again. I clung to him, offering him whatever he wanted in that moment. I didn't want to let him go. I wanted to stay like this, but I knew we couldn't. Thankfully, he was the one who pulled away, leaving me lightly panting.

"Stay close to me," he said as he stroked his thumb down my cheek. "Stay close to me and I won't let anyone touch you."

I smiled and nodded. I knew that I wouldn't and couldn't do as he asked, but he knew that too. At some point we would be separated. My zanpakuto had seen as much. But, until then…

Toshiro stepped away and moved towards the doorway that would take us to Hueco Mundo. Luien stood beside Yoruichi, still on this site of the doorway while everyone else had already passed through into the darkness. I knew Luien was waiting for us, as we were the only ones who held the capability to incapacitate him. Yoruichi had probably accused him of trying to vanish between the worlds and forced him to stay behind for us.

"Making a path in the chaotic reishi is similar to how we stand on reishi in the air," he explained quietly. "With your shikai, I can only imagine that this will come easily to you."

"It's just a path of reishi, right?" I asked as we came up to the doorway.

Toshiro stepped through the senkaimon like doorway and a path of light blue formed under his feet, covering the paths before his. He turned to me and held out his hand as he said, "I'll show you how."

I started to reach for his hand, but a tingling feeling on the edge of my senses stopped me and I glanced back over my shoulder. Before I could register anything, a white and red something flew past me and crashed into the pillar that supported the doorway. My head whipped around and just as my gaze met Toshiro's and almost in that same instant, he was gone.

"Finally!" A growling voice exclaimed as another pillar crashed in a flash of color.

I blinked dumbly at my out stretched hand and the space beyond that wasn't the darkness between the two worlds, that wasn't Toshiro's hand reaching for mine. What had happened? Where were they?

"I've been waiting far too long just to kill you," that growling male voice roared as something else crashed, shaking the ground with its force.

"Oi, Grimmjow," I heard Kisuke call out. His words must have fallen on deaf ears because in a flash someone crashed into the ground at my feet. Blood splashed in an arc across the ground as another body crashed down. They had been moving so fast that I hadn't been able to see them, but as I blinked at the two before me I realized it was Luien who had slammed into the ground with Grimmjow kneeling over him. Black claws had elongated from his fingers and he used them like blades to score away at the man beneath him.

"Why?" Luien screamed as he went for his zanpakuto that was strapped to his waist. Grimmjow saw the movement, and in one swift motion Luien's hand fell to the ground and rolled until it bumped my foot, completely separated from his arm. The Numeros screamed and made to shove at the Espada on top of him, but just as quickly, his other hand was removed and tossed away like trash.

"I told you she was off limits," he bellowed like he wasn't kneeling over his Fracciones. "And I told you what I would do to you if you went against my words."

"She almost got you killed!" Luien barked back, his words shaking. "She is a weakness that had to be removed. She isn't worthy-"

"That was never your decision to make!"

I stumbled back from the two and fell onto my butt when I felt rather than saw Grimmjow move. Blood sprayed up in a cloud just before the distinct darkness of a hollow's body evaporating wafted up into the air. I couldn't help myself as I scuttled back to avoid the mess that the Espada had made. I was at a loss for words as I watched him with wide eyes. He had been covered in blood, but just like the darkness evaporated from Luien's body, the blood seemed to waft away vanish like steam into the air.

Azure eyes turned to me and a growl vibrated from his throat as I met that violent gaze.


	16. She Who Trades

I couldn't help myself as I gaped at the blue haired man before me. My entire body was shaking with adrenaline and fear as I continued scooting back from him. I didn't know what to do. Everyone had already gone through the garganta except for Kisuke and Yoruichi, leaving me more alone with him than I was ready for. One second I had been with everyone, and now I was... Oh god. He still wanted me dead too. Whatever was going to happen to keep him from killing me hadn't happened yet and I had no idea how to get there.

Azure eyes slowly turned and stopped on me, freezing me in place. Those terrifying eyes narrowed and an angered recognition changed his expression.

"You."

It just took that one word from him to make my heart drop. I was so screwed. I was more than screwed. I was frozen like prey and he was the predator.

"You should be dead," he continued as he turned his body to face me more.

"Oi," Kisuke said again, drawing the Espada's gaze. "Did you forget where you are? That was my portal you just broke."

"Good," he growled as he pulled himself up from his kneeling position. His eyes dropped to me, and a snarl looked like it was pulling at the edge of his lips. Abruptly his teeth showed in a dangerous smile, the points growing from Human flat to predator sharp as I watched.

"Maebure no Shukufuku, Tankyu no Unmei!" I couldn't seem to help myself when I reacted, my hand closing around my zanpakuto's hilt before I really knew what I was doing. I pulled myself away from him with my mind's eye, manipulating my armor as it formed to get me off the ground faster than I could have moved on my own. The last time I had really called my shikai in the world of the living it had been a drain to form my armor purely from my reiatsu, but I barely noticed the draw on my energy with my mind's eye so focused on the threat before me. As I sank into my mind's eye, I realized that the entire area was made of reishi, allowing me to see just like I was able to in the soul society.

"Alright you two, calm down," Kisuke said in a light and chiding tone. "One dead person is enough for today."

Grimmjow ignored him and I felt his spiritual pressure rise just before he lunged at me. I reacted, the other half of my Herald's blessing taking over as a thick but rough wall heaved up between us. I saw him through my mind's eye as he spun and his foot connected with the wall I had made. I didn't wait for him to break it when I dodged back, putting more room between us.

My zanpakuto had pulled me from our inner world before I had figured out how to use both halves of my shikai together, so I completely dropped my ability to react and took hold of my control like it was a tool perfectly shaped to my hand. I pulled reishi from the ground in a burst of power and drew a box around myself, giving myself shelter in the clear walls that were as strong as my armor and thrice as thick.

It was only a moment later that he was at my walls, his claws digging into the surface and raking a long line down across where my body would have been if my walls hadn't been in place. I flooded my box with power, forcing the rivets to mend almost as soon as he made them. His other hand slashed down, digging at my box. I repaired it just as quickly.

He stopped trying to claw away at my walls and shot the deadliest glare I had ever seen at me. I didn't flinch, though if my emotions hadn't been shoved away I probably would have been cowering in the corner. Despite that knowledge I relaxed my stance, ignoring how my body trembled as I faced him straight on and met his glare with a blank expression of my own.

"Hiding like a coward. That's such a Soul Reaper thing to do," he growled as his hand rested on my wall. His hand began to glow and I realized he was calling on some sort of power, like the cero he had used before. I started to pull more reishi from the area around us, but stopped when Kisuke was abruptly beside Grimmjow, his hand outstretched to rest his cane on Grimmjow's shoulder.

"That's enough Grimmjow," he said as he tapped his fan in an almost playful manner. "I didn't stop you when you were after Luien because he was yours, but Yamamoto here isn't yours. She's one of mine."

"You aren't really a Soul Reaper anymore," the Espada growled without moving.

"Good point, but Yamamoto here is still off limits." Kisuke's cane tapped on his shoulder in emphasis. "And, you have some fixing to do."

"I ain't fixing your stupid senkaimon," he growled. "They can stay in the Soul Society for all I care."

Kisuke's brow lifted, a motion I could only see in my mind's eye with his hair falling over his face as it was. I felt like he was about to say something to reject Grimmjow's assumption so I quickly interrupted.

"Who was she?" I asked.

"What?" He snapped back as a growl seemed to bubble up.

"Who was she? The woman you mentioned when you were…" I waved my hand at the small crater he had made with Luien's body.

"She 'is' one of my subordinates," he answered, making sure to overly define the fact that she wasn't a past-tense.

"You sure that's all she is?" Kisuke asked suggestively. "The last time I saw you two together you were all-"

"Shut it old man," Grimmjow snapped, but Kisuke's teasing didn't stop.

"About watching out for her, especially from behind. I don't blame you though-"

"I swear I'll fucking kill you if you keeping going."

I watched them go at it for a moment and found the fear that was racing under the firm control of my shikai diminishing. Kisuke was looking out for me for some reason. I wasn't entirely sure why, but I did trust him to keep order within his house. It most likely had something to do with his lecture up stairs. I needed to do something while the opportunity was at hand.

'Tankyu no Unmei,' I called out to my zanpakuto.

'Herald,' she responded in an almost bored tone.

'What is my name today?' I asked.

'You really should have asked earlier.'

'I'm sorry, you're right. I should have asked before all of this happened. But, I'm asking now so will you tell me?'

She let out a sigh and I had the distinct impression of her rolling over in our inner world before she answered. 'She who is lost.'

'Are you sure?' I asked after a moment. 'I know that my names stem from events, but is it really interpreted only that way?'

I heard her inhale as if to speak, but she paused before her words could come out. She hummed for a moment like she was pondering her words before she finally said, 'I am fairly certain that you have decided on your actions from here on. Knowing this, what name would you give yourself?'

'She who trades,' I answered her.

'A fair assessment, Herald.'

I nodded to myself as I focused on the people before me. That settled it. She Who Trades. There was no going back now.

"Take me," I said, placing a hand on my chest and drawing the attention of the two bickering men.

Grimmjow and Kisuke turned, their gazes set on me. "What nonsense are you babbling, girl?"

"Take me in the place of the Soul Reapers you have taken prisoner," I elaborated.

"You can't be serious," Grimmjow said with a sneer. "Why the hell would I even consider that?"

"I am far more valuable than the four you have taken put together," I said, my voice sounding with confidence. "Taking me in their place would allow you far more bargaining power than all four of them would offer."

"You?" he laughed. "You can't possibly be worth more to the 13 Court Guard squads than a Lieutenant."

"I am the only remaining descendant of Former Head Captain Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto and a member of the Ise Clan, the spiritual advisor of the four Noble Houses." I dropped my box, the reishi melting into the ground at my feet and stepped forward. My knees wanted to buckle and give out, but I forced my body to obey. I stamped down the rush of fear driven adrenaline with the control afforded to me by my shikai as I stopped well within his reach and met those electric blue eyes like they weren't absolutely terrifying. "I am worth more to you and to them than all four of the Soul Reapers you took hostage combined."

"You must be stupid or something," he said in clear disbelief. "If your captain hadn't stepped between us I would have killed you. Knowing this, you still want to trade places with them?"

I continued despite his words. "I also have a solution to your problem, I believe. I don't know what it is, but I know you do."

"What the hell are you on about?"

"She's trapped, right?" I asked as I gave him my back and faced the crumpled mess that he had made of the portal's pillars. I slid into my mind's eye and focused on the debris across the way from us and lifted it all from its pile. I made a show of repairing on pillar, the rock sliding back into place and the wooden beam mounting itself among it all. I did the same to both pillars, paying special attention to ensuring that they were lined up with each other. Just as I finished I turned to him and set my sightless gaze on his much taller form. "I don't know what you need, but I do know that I'm the only one who can manipulate reishi in such a manner."

He appeared to be watching the pillars for a moment before he shifted his gaze down to me. "Can you do that to Sekki Sekki rock?"

He had me for a moment there. I didn't know they had Sekki Sekki rock in Hueco Mundo. "I can't manipulate it directly, but it is a mere manner of using other objects to make it do what I want and quickly."

"Could you do something as delicate as removing a body from it?"

I wanted to ask him what he meant by his words, but decided against it as I opened my mouth to speak. If he even remotely doubted my abilities I would never convince him. I needed to be confident and boast my skills even if it was lying a bit. I needed to impress him…

"She cannot, but I can," my zanpakuto said as her manifestation appeared beside me. She was all sparkles like diamond dust, but with my mind's eye I could see her body's clear outline. I knew she wasn't putting forth the effort to completely appear, but I didn't understand exactly why with all the reishi that composed the training area. It should have been easy for her to manifest here.

'And I thought you didn't lie,' I thought at her. 'Sekki Sekki rock is the one thing that I can't manipulate. How do you expect to be able to do it?'

'I don't lie,' she answered. 'I am just far more powerful than you are alone.'

"Even if you could, Halibel has the ones we took as hostages," he said as his eyes drifted over my zanpakuto. "Convince me, and I'll convince her."

I glanced at my zanpakuto, meeting her teal gaze for just a moment. There were a lot of things that we could do, but what? He wanted to see how careful, yet how powerful we were. What would satisfy both requirements? Oh, I knew!

"You already know that I can fend off your cero with little more than a thought. If I hadn't been so focused on forcing your garganta open, your gran rey cero wouldn't have touched us. But I was, and it did." I spoke softly as I reached back and took my kanzashi from my chignon. If my emotions hadn't been so trapped under the power of my shikai I would have hesitated before I held the ornate gift out, but as it was I didn't. I held the hair ornament up to allow him to see just how delicate it was before I drew my other hand up, holding my empty palm up beside it.

I drew at the reishi that composed the ground beneath my feet and turned it into gold and silver reishi that wafted around me in flecks of sparkling color. I drew those flecks to my empty palm and assembled them into the pins of a kanzashi. I knew exactly how the hair ornament had been made after running over it with my mind's eye so many times, and I used that knowledge to visibly forge a replica in my hand.

I watched Grimmjow as I worked, waiting for his expression to show some sign of impatience, but it didn't. His azure eyes remained keen on my hand, watching me as I worked. It only took me a minute to create the pins and stems for each of the flowers but I took the effort to make a show of my efforts. I formed the petals one by one while being careful to not block the view of their formations with the awaiting reishi. Each petal was created in care with textured surfaces, beveled edges and thin like paper, should have been enough to demonstrate how careful I could be, but I didn't stop there. I kept going, forming the wings of the butterfly and the diamonds that refracted the light across the entire ornament.

Finally, I finished creating each of the chains and held it up as if to offer it to him. His eyes roamed over my offering as if he was looking for some sort of imperfection in the object, but I knew there was none. My mind's eye was capable of seeing more than anyone's naked eye.

"I have been working with reishi for far longer than I have been training in combat. Whatever has her trapped, I can remove," I said confidently as I crushed the replica kanzashi in my hand and using my mind's eye, returned the real one to my chignon.

"Drop your shikai."

I blinked at him. "Why?"

"Just do it," he ordered.

I spared a glance at Kisuke to see him watching the Espada before I did as he said and let the power of my shikai slip from my grasp. Just as the power began to drain away I saw my zanpakuto through my mind's eye take hold of our sword's hilt. I had only a second to question her actions before I was pulled away from my body and tossed back into our inner world…

**Seeker**

'Why?' My Herald called out as she fell down the path that lead to our inner world.

'You are not capable of handling this situation right now and you know it. Even now your body is trembling and your thoughts racing with how you can run. I do not blame you, but you are not the one who should be dealing with him in such an emotional state.' I answered her as I continued to mimic our shikai dropping. 'I never would have been able to remove you like this if you thought otherwise. Calm down, and I will finish tending the seeds you have sewn.'

'Isn't this breaking your rules?' She asked in a near panic.

'Perhaps,' I said softly. 'I will be careful, Herald. I will not change your future with my involvement. I will not put you in danger like that again, I promise.'

Armor gone, brown eyes dominating my own teal ones, and spiritual pressure just barely noticable - I made myself appear to be my Herald. Grimmjow didn't know my Herald's personality, and even the shop owner and princess were barely familiar with us. They may have been just as intuitive as Kazui or Toshiro, but they had nothing to really compared to. I wouldn't have to be so careful when I impersonated my Herald around them.

"Satisfied?" I asked as my gaze turned on Grimmjow.

"No. I want to know why it is that you are really willing to trade yourself for those Soul Reapers. That seems like the stupidest idea possible for any individual, especially for one who seems as fragile as you."

"We all have our purposes," I said with a one shouldered shrug.

"That's not good enough," he said in a rumbling voice. He reached out and caught the front of my jacket in one quick motion. He lifted me off my feet and dragged me to him until I was suspended just in front of his face. "What's your reason?"

I took hold of his wrist, trying to support some of my own weight on my arms instead of allowing him to choke my Herald with our own clothes. I met his pointed azure gaze with an equally stubborn glare of my own. "One of the people you have taken is important to someone who means a lot to me. I mean to take her place, to spare him the grief if something were to happen to her. In order to make this happen, I am presenting myself in a favorable light to you."

"That is damned stupid," he said as he shook me slightly.

"Do you not possess feelings as an Arrancar? I was under the impression that the more Human in appearance that you are, the more you act like one."

"I am destruction," he spat at me.

"Did she not make you more than that?" I replied, my voice remaining steady and calm. "She gave you something you were lacking and your soul cries at the loss of those feelings. That is why you responded in violence and killed your Fracciones, isn't it?"

"So what!" He abruptly shouted. "I killed him, that doesn't mean anything!"

"I can free her," I said. "I can do what you are incapable of doing. If this is what you want, then you need me and I am willing to go with you without a fight."

His grip tightened and his fist turned, tightening our jacket's collar painfully around our throat. I didn't flinch even though it hurt and held is furious glare. I knew my words had struck him, it would just take a moment for him to realize it himself…

His arm flexed just before he tossed me away. I landed roughly and managed to keep my feet without the help of our mind's eye. Rubbing my throat I couldn't help the cough that resulted from the strain, but I did my best to suppress it as I watched him kick at the rocks on the ground. "Fucking damn it, these goddamn women will be the death of me. Can't get away from them, can't reason with them, can't kill them, can't fuck them. God damn fucking shit fucks!"

Even I could admit that it was a rather impressive string of frustrated words that came tumbling out of his mouth. I didn't mind it though. It only meant that we had gotten what we wanted. We would be going to Hueco Mundo.

It was only an hour later that Grimmjow stood before his own garganta. He had avoided speaking to me, which was a turn of events that I didn't mind. I think he realized that I had talked him into a corner, forcing him to admit that he cared for whomever this woman of his was. My Herald wasn't nearly so skilled with words, nor did she possess the knowledge of the future like I did. My Herald could have struggled through the conversation we just had and eventually come to the same outcome. I just knew how to manipulate the situation. I manipulated my Herald during most of our conversations, so it was refreshing to use my knowledge on someone else.

"Yamamoto," Yoruichi called out as her hand clapped down on my shoulder in an entirely too friendly manner.

I turned to her, stepping away from her eager hand in the process. "Yoruichi, I didn't hear your approach."

"Of course you didn't," she mused with a sly grin. "I didn't know you had the balls to stand up to Grimmjow like that."

"Normally, we wouldn't," I responded. "But, there's something that we want. Making that happen is our top priority."

Her brow quirked as I knew it would. "And what is it that you want?"

"Momo out of harm's way," I answered simply. "I am sure that you are far more aware of the way she affects my Captain than I am, with you having been there during Aizen's invasion. We want to remove her from the equation when we are in Hueco Mundo, to spare him the worry and guilt that he is surely to feel."

"You know that you mean a great more to him than she does now, right?" She asked, her confused brow never dropping.

"Yes, but we are far more durable than she," I answered.

"We, eh?"

I gave her a smile that didn't touch my eyes. "Yes, we."

"Are you going to make me wait on you all day?" Grimmjow half shouted, drawing my attention.

I wiggled my brows at her before I stepped to Grimmjow. I hadn't really taken in the appearance of the Espada until that moment. He was tall, almost as tall as Toshiro and built lean like a runner. From his feet up he was dressed in black aside from a white jacket that seemed far more worn than the rest of his attire. His boots were adorned with silver accents that lined the durable leather and the edges of the rubber soles in a decorative but also fierce presentation. His boots stopped at about his mid-calf and transitioned into his baggy pants.

His shirt was left partially open, leaving his chest exposed. A scar ran down his chest, stretching down to his abdomen where it vanished under his shirt. The bone of his mask looked like half of a predator's jaw and teeth were overlaying the man beneath. For having seen the future I knew what sort of beasty he was and just what he was capable of. Even without that knowledge, his features clearly represented his true form. Those azure eyes were reminiscent of colors I had only seen in the exotic fabrics I so loved to wear and create with my mind's eye. It was really rather exotic to see such colors in a man's eyes and hair.

He really was a very attractive man - for a hollow.

"Sorry," I said much like my Herald would have.

"You're supposed to be a damn prisoner, so start acting like one," he growled as he stepped through his garganta. A path of reishi formed under his steps as he moved, and I watched him for a long moment. This part had been a bit of a grey area for me, but I knew the concept behind it. I would just use our mind's eye.

"Why are you hesitating?" Grimmjow asked as he glanced back at me. "You're the one who wanted to come here."

I rolled my eyes and stepped through his garganta, using the pathway he had already created. I watched it close behind me with my mind's eye as I met his own narrowed gaze with my Herald's own brown eyes. "It is not hesitation so much as venturing into the unknown."

"Yeah, well your venturing is slow as shit," he said in an annoyed tone. I saw him move, but with the precarious path I was standing on I did nothing to move away from his reaching grasp. His arm wrapped around my hips and he forced me to fall forward, picking me up under his arm like I was no more of a hinderance than luggage. I didn't bother trying to protest as he started running and slipped into whatever it was that made them move as fast as a flash step.

The part of me that wanted to antagonize the people around me made staying quiet during my time as he carried me away difficult. Having patience was normally not that much of an issue for me, but my Herald was nervous. Even from our inner world she was outwardly affecting her body. She wanted to be away from this man. She was… terrified, but she needed to get over it.

Everything was in motion, we just had to follow through now.


	17. She Who Trades, Continued

**Seeker**

With Grimmjow busy moving through the space between worlds, I allowed myself to slip back into our inner world. Just like my appearance, our inner world changed with our names. Since there were always many names in a day, I picked the most prominent name to give my Herald and based myself and my world around it. Since my Herald had decided that another name would be better fitting, I had let everything change to reflect that name.

My Herald was sitting in the middle of a large, empty room. The room was ornately decorated, though sparse in furniture. Pillows were aligned on the floor in two grids, leaving space for someone to walk down the center of the room. It was a meeting place, with a raised platform at the front of the room meant for the clan leader. Or, Nanao Ise as the clan currently stood. I knew she recognized the room by where she had placed herself, on one of the kneeling pillows in the center of the front row. It was where she would have sat during a council meeting of the Ise Clan's Elders. Perhaps she hadn't understood until now that she was doing was much like a political maneuver that she had been exposed to since before she ever chose to become a Soul Reaper.

"Tankyu no Unmei," she called out to me without moving.

"Herald," I responded as I moved through the room. I occupied one of the pillows at her side and knelt much like she had. My kimono wasn't exactly what someone would call courtly attire as I had not changed my appearance like I had our inner world. The fabric was black like world our we were currently being carried through under the Espada's arm. Looking at it made you want to lean in to see just how deep the darkness was, until the sensation of falling would overcome you. Black lace was woven over and into my skin, giving my face a smooth and almost undefined appearance while my alabaster skin still shone underneath. I had done my best to hide the golden lines that marred my skin, wanting to hide the fact that I had been broken and was still mending. My hair was still pulled back into a shimada despite the rest of my rather plain appearance. To make up for the somewhat overdone hair style, my accessories were just like the rest of me with black ornaments that were adorned with white jewels.

Sometimes, changing my appearance was my favorite part of the day.

"I'm sorry for how I reacted," my Herald said after a moment of silence.

"Why?" I asked calmly as I focused my gaze on banister that ran around the second floor of the room.

"If you hadn't taken over, I could have ruined all the progress I made just because I was scared," she answered. In my mind's eye, I saw her hands flex in her lap with her growing anxiety.

"Why would it have been ruined?" I asked again, prompting her to continue.

"I-I don't know, but you took over for a reason and now our fate has changed." She sure sounded like a whining child sometimes.

"Our fate has not changed," I corrected her. "What I did changed nothing in our coming future other than the order of events. What I did before was under the pretense that I could not see what was to happen. I know now what will happen, and have judged my actions to be effective enough but still not detrimental to your health."

"This won't cause something like last time to happen?" She asked. "I thought because you had taken over last time, we had gotten hurt."

"I changed your fate last time," I explained as I lifted my hand and waved it in front of me. A film of reishi manifested over the raised area before us, and I pushed my will into it to change its appearance. "This time, I stepped in when you were silently wishing I could."

"I didn't ask you-"

"The fear you feel around him is a primal fear," I interrupted her. "You cannot help yourself. It's the same reason you were so terrified of Mitsuji, but you overcame that with the determination that saving Mio brought you."

The reishi before us both shifted, generating a visual that I knew she would understand. White and blue crystals delicately floated in the air forming an almost snowflake like pattern in the way it had formed over the past few months. It looked sharp and like it was surrounded in a bitter cold aura, but to my Herald I was sure she saw it as a cool winter's breeze. It was the part of Toshiro that resided in our inner world.

"Is that…?" She started to ask as she leaned forward as if to get a better look.

"What was your motivation for coming here to Hueco Mundo?" I asked.

She glanced over at me, but I kept my eyes focused elsewhere. With my mask as it was, she wouldn't see more than the teal of my eyes behind the lace anyway.

"To take Momo out of harm's way," she answered slowly.

"Was that the reason, or your method?" I asked. When she didn't answer after a moment I continued. "Was saving Mio your reason, or your method?"

"Killing Hideo was supposed to be my method, and saving Mio my reason," she finally replied.

"Then trading yourself for Momo is your method, but what is your reason?"

"To spare Toshiro," she answered as she let out a soft sigh. "I know you're always present in the back of my mind, hearing my thoughts and watching what I do. You know how he feels for me, but what he feels for her is far more severe. I am far better equipped to handle the situation, and before Grimmjow killed Luien, I had leverage."

"You still have leverage," I corrected her again. "Obviously, working the other Espada is going to be difficult, but once you pass this coming trial the pieces will begin to fall into place."

"Unless I have a turning point between now and then," she grumbled.

"If there is a turning point, I will assist you."

Her gaze drifted down to her hands where she was nervously knotting her fingers as she furiously thought. I tried to tune out her unsaid words, but it was difficult when all she could seem to think about was the way Grimmjow had looked at her in the Soul Society. Eyes were merely eyes, a glimpse into our inner emotions. She was too young to be so scared of someone's rage.

I rose with a swiftness that was only capable with our mind's eye and moved to stand before her. "Get up."

"What?" She asked dumbly as she looked up at me.

"Get up." I lifted her with our mind's eye, drawing a surprised noise from her. I almost rolled my eyes as I turned and summoned a terracotta soldier from the floor.

"You have got to be kidding me," she said aloud. She had started backing up, but her footsteps stopped as I pushed power into the soldier and forced it to do something I had never done to her before. It really shouldn't have been a surprise to her when the stone became the creme color of skin and blue hair grew from it's head. I mean really, it wasn't like I was going to kill her over and over. Again. Now was the time for her to make peace with the Espada's presence.

"We only have so much time before Grimmjow enters Hueco Mundo and one of us must return to your body. The question is, will it be you or me?"

**Herald**

My zanpakuto was really a pain in the ass sometimes. Like, really? A life size Espada doll? How the hell was this supposed to help me?

My zanpakuto really could see the future though, because her crazy plan worked. She had created a manican so life like that I had thought it had been him at first. I was so startled that I had even drawn my zanpakuto, like my horrible zanjutsu could actually protect myself from him. It's eyes had shifted toward me like it was alive and he struck so swiftly that I didn't even have a chance to defend myself. His pointed hand passed clean through my body and blood gushed up my throat. It hurt, and just like that day in the Seireitei I could see his desire for my death in his eyes. But despite the fear that made my toes tingle, I wasn't incapable of reacting. I hadn't activated my shikai despite my zanpakuto manipulation of it, but I responded to its attack in kind and sheathed my blade in its skull. My blade grinded against the bone of his mask as it slid into the soft tissue of his eye and broke through the thinner bone that resided there.

"True Violence," my zanpakuto said with a voice that echoed across the area. "This is something you have yet to experience in reality."

Grimmjow's doppelganger withdrew, taking with him his hand that had pierced my chest. I watched as my blade drew slick with his blood as he stepped back, leaving his eye socket a spot of blackish red blood that ran bright down his skin. I watched in awe as his body repaired itself much like the previous terra cotta versions had done, but this was so much more real. They had been mere stone fixing itself, while this thing was flesh, blood and sinew.

"You flinch away from the gorey truths of the world, when in reality you need to face them. To see the future, to see the truth, you cannot shy away from the harsh reality of the world."

I must have fought against that stupid manikin for several minutes before I felt my zanpakuto push at my thoughts, turning my violent actions away from physical attacks and towards my mind's eye as she coaxed my armor into existence and manipulated me into doing what she wanted. Into hardening my soft and vulnerable ideologies. My terrible physical strikes became skilled and almost artful slashes that were completely controlled by my reactive warding. I attacked him on instinct like a violent puppet on strings controlled by my zanpakuto.

I turned on my zanpakuto and shot her a stern glare while the manikin repaired itself. "You are trying to make me like you, but we aren't the same. We are the same soul, but we are completely different halves!"

Her teal eyes were unchanging as she met my glare with an equally steady one. "Every time I repair our bond, we become closer. I have told you this since the first time I fixed our connection, but I believe you fail to understand my intentions."

"Then what the hell are your intentions?" I snapped.

"To strengthen your resolve. To teach you to trust the power we possess, to trust in me."

I felt the pain that ruptured through my center before the blade of a zanpakuto emerged from my stomach to bloody my uniform. I had never felt pain when I was fighting those terra cotta soldiers, but now I did. It stole my breath away and my eyes water with the struggle. I slowly glanced back at the fake Grimmjow who now stood behind me. My zanpakuto was an ass hole...

It probably only took my zanpakuto a few minutes to successfully implement her dastardly plan, but it had felt like several hours with the combat that had ensued between the fake Grimmjow and I. He was violent and unrelenting, and as our combat progressed he seemed to gain power. At first it was a Bala, some sort of weak cero, but it progressed all the way up until he had nearly killed me with a Gran Rey cero. It hurt. Oh hell, it hurt. I had only survived once I had learned to shield myself with my reactive warding, but it had taken many deaths and so much pain.

The pain made taking over my body an almost freeing action, like waking up from a nap under the soft spring sun. I was calm, collected and surprisingly ready for whatever was to come. It was really stupid to think about it, but Tankyu no Unmei always did know how to snap me out of my fits. I didn't always listen to her, and sometimes she really ticked me off. Her methods lately had always been less than pleasant, but they had worked…

"Did you really pass out on me?" Grimmjow's abrupt question startled me from my thoughts.

I drew my head up and glanced around at the sand that surrounded us like we were standing in a sea of it. Well, it wasn't like a sea. It was a sea. Sand rose and fell in gentle wind driven waves as far as the eye could see. Dead trees rose from the ground, standing like skeletal sticks against the setting sun.

"I thought Hueco Mundo was in an eternal Lunar Cycle," I commented as I shied away from the blinding circle ahead of us.

"You Soul Reapers exacerbate our existence at any opportunity. What makes you think they wouldn't do the same to the concept of Hueco Mundo, where we reside?" He asked just before he abruptly released me.

I landed on my hands and knees in the sand and felt the rough surface grate against my palms with the impact. The sand wasn't at all as soft as it appeared, but it wasn't like broken glass either. It was a strange and foreign feeling. There was sand in the Soul Society, but it was fine and so soft it was like touching sugar crystals. This was like kneeling in a bed of tiny, rough rocks.

I clambered to my feet and bushed the clinging sand from my clothes. "Most Soul Reapers haven't been to Hueco Mundo. All we have are the lessons we learn during our time at the academy and stories told by our comrades. Can you blame us for having such a volatile opinion of your kind when all the lesser intelligent of your species try to eat us?"

"I would eat you too if I didn't think you were a tool I needed." The growl in his voice was threatening, but I brushed it off. My zanpakuto was a real piece of work, but her methods had really worked.

"You're a tool to me too, just so you know," I said as I turned and let my eyes wander over the landscape.

I froze when I saw white towers that stood out above the sand, connected by a wall that was so broken it was more like a pile of white rubble. I knew we were so far away by the lack of definition that I could see, but it had to mean that place was absolutely massive. Even more astounding than that was the fact that I could feel something in that direction. It felt further away than the structure and dimmer, but… But far more familiar. It was me, or part of me so far beyond that horizon.

Toshiro had made it through the darkness and into Hueco Mundo. I knew my senses for spiritual pressure were far stronger than his, but maybe he knew I had made it here to. I had a part of him inside me, and surely he could feel it just like I could feel the part of me in him. Even if he couldn't feel me, it made my heart strings quiver and my confidence soar. If I burned bright enough, there way no way he wouldn't know. As far away as I was, he would come if I needed him.

"Las Noches," Grimmjow said from behind me, drawing me away from my senses. "Our deal was you would free her, and I would convince Halibel to take you in the place of the other Soul Reapers."

I turned back to him, and gave him a look through narrowed eyes. "I would free her if you convinced Halibel, not the other way around."

"Out of the two of us, who would kill whom?" He asked as his teal eyes slid down to watch me. When I didn't argue, a small grin turned the corner of his mouth. He moved so quickly that I couldn't do more than stiffen before he had me lugged under his arm again like I was no more than luggage.

"You're going to do something for me before I do something for you," he said just before he took off once more, leaving Las Noches behind him.

Grimmjow moved just as fast as Toshiro had when he really was in a hurry. Zipping over the dunes of sand was like watching a hummingbird zip around. He was fast, moving in fluid strides and clearly knew exactly where he was going. It was almost like a flash step, but this was far more violent in movement. Like comparing his sprinting race to our speed skating.

When he finally stopped, we were a top a massive white rock that protruded from the sea of sand. It looked like any old rock that just happened to be as big as our office building at first, but as my eyes took in the surface I saw the darkness that lingered several yards away. It seemed to be ebbing up from the white rock, like heat radiated from hot cement, but this was just so odd. It looked like it should have been someone's spiritual pressure, but I couldn't feel anything.

As Grimmjow set me down I recalled how the vision of my future had played out. So far, this didn't appear to be leading up to the same chain of events. My zanpakuto had said that how I got here was different, but I hadn't expected it to be completely different.

Standing straight I rested my hand instinctively on my zanpakuto's hilt as I turned around to look over the area. The darkness that radiated from the rocks only seemed to be in one area, not the entire thing. It was odd, like something was lurking just beneath the surface.

The sound of Grimmjow's footsteps made me turn back to him so I could watch as he boldly walked across the radiating darkness and stopped at a particularly dark spot. I followed him, my steps confident even though I was feeling hesitant. I came up to the dark spot and realized that it was actually a blackened hole in the rock. It wasn't just a small hole either. This was probably a good five foot across, if not more.

"She's down there," Grimmjow commented as he leaned over the edge to look down.

"Did she do this, or Luien?" I asked as I mimicked him and leaned forward so I could look down into the endless darkness.

"Luien," he answered just before he pulled back and started walking off somewhere. "That darkness you see is her, and it's why I can't do anything to free her."

I watched his back for a moment before I followed. My skin was crawling like the radiating darkness was licking across my body. It felt gross and eerie like like it was calling out to me.

"What is this place?" I asked as I resisted the urge to wipe my hands on my pants.

"Her home," he replied as he turned and moved down several steps, disappearing into the rock. "Her bones are within the rock, turning this place into her own type of prison. She described it once to me as working like Sekki Sekki rock, some shit that you Soul Reapers have in the Soul Society."

I stopped at the top of the stairs and let my eyes wander over the entrance. The stairs were made into a raised portion of the rock that allowed the tunnel to appear more like a covered entrance into the depths. Like a pool was lurking just under the surface, the darkness lurked. I sucked in a deep breath to steel myself and stepped down.

I had expected the darkness to slick across my skin, but it didn't feel like anything until my head passed below the surface. I heard my zanpakuto let out a soft sigh just before something went… missing? I tried to shake it off, but the feeling persisted. This place really was like being around Sekki Sekki rock. My senses were gone and even as I thought for a response from my zanpakuto, there was nothing. It was such an odd sensation.

"Did she make this?" I asked, trying to distract myself with conversation.

"Yes," he replied shortly from further down.

"How on earth did she do that," I mumbled as my hand reached out and my fingers ran down the walls. They felt a little jagged, like a tool had chipped away at the surface. It must have taken a whole company of people to carve this out, but one woman? There was just no way.

"She carved it out with her cero," Grimmjow answered. "Apparently it took her years to do, and that bastard Luien ruined it in less than an hour. He chased her down and melted a damn hole through her roof. Now she's trapped down here and I can't get close enough with any power to do anything about it."

That explained a lot.

"I will free her," I said confidently. "Just make sure you up hold your end of our deal once she's out."

He turned on me in one sudden and violent movement. I didn't even have the chance to retaliate as he caught my jacket with his hand and slammed my back into the rough wall that lined the staircase. He was in my face, an enraged expression darkening his eyes. Apparently someone had a short temper, something I already knew. But, before where he had felt just as fierce as I would have expected the Espada to feel, now he felt weaker and the power that had been behind his eyes was dull. That was… odd.

"I am an Espada and that shit comes with rules. I won't got back on our deal, and you better not question it again or I will kill you."

"I'm not even remotely scared of you right now," I said slowly as a smile threatened to turn my lips. "You won't kill me. You need me to free her, and you should know better than I that Captain Hitsugaya would hunt you down like he already wants to."

"He would never know with you here in Hueco Mundo and him two worlds away. Your life is in my hands. If you cross me-"

"He will know," I interrupted him. "He will know, and he will find you. You say that this woman means something to you. Whatever that is, it was enough to drive you enter the Seireitei despite your better judgement all to steal away a few prisoners. If you were willing to do that for someone who only means something to you, what do you think Captain Hitsugaya would do for me?"

He looked like he wanted to fire off a smart mouthed reply, but his lips never parted to give voice to his thoughts and instead he glared at me. He didn't like me, not one bit. But he and I both knew that I was his only chance to free her right now. I was the only one who could manipulate the reishi that surrounded her, the only one who could free her without killing her. He needed me, and he hated that he did.

Oh well.

We had made a deal, and I intended to see it through. To save Momo and spare Toshiro, I was willing to do almost anything.

He released me in one abrupt movement and stomped down the stairs in a tempered rage. I absently adjusted my jacket to get it to lay flat once more as I watched him move away. He really did care for this woman. I was glad, because she was the only leverage I had over him.

"You know, you never have told me who she is," I said as I followed him into the growing darkness. It was almost so dark that I was having trouble seeing the steps that we were moving down.

"You're right," he answered almost immediately. "I haven't."

"It would help me to know what she is capable of, to know if her power is going to fight against me like you did with your garganta," I continued speaking as I slowed my steps. The darkness was so think that I couldn't see anything. It wasn't like a lack of light that caused the darkness, it felt more alive than that.

"You said you could manipulate Sekki Sekki rock. So long as you can do that, you shouldn't have a problem," he said from somewhere further down.

"Is this darkness her?" I asked.

There was a momentary pause before his reply and I heard his footsteps stall. "Yes. She was an Espada once, and this was part of her ability to strip those around her of everything. Here, we have nothing and we are nothing. We are less than we ever were and no more than Human."

Those words sounded like they weren't his own, but rather… her's maybe?

I opened my mouth to ask another question, but the words never came out as my eyes fell on a body that was illuminated in the darkness. Like they were bathed in moonlight, their body stood out, showing me part of a woman who was covered in charred skin and partially missing her left arm like fire had eaten the limb away. I blinked, and my vision was abruptly altered to seeing her blurred image as if it was through black glass. I glanced around, searching the darkness for something else and realized that I could see Grimmjow just the same as I had seen her at first.

The only part of his face I could see was his cheek and the corner of his eye, but it was enough to see the anger in his expression. Just looking at her made him furious. I knew it wasn't actually her that made him angry, but probably the thought of what Luien had done to her. She was a victim, but by the sound of it, she wasn't the type of person to let herself be victimized.

"Go back up top," he ordered abruptly. "You can't use whatever power you have down here."

"Is she even alive enough to save?" I asked, unmoving.

"She is my Fraccion, even if she hates the term," he glanced back at me and that same glare he had flashed my way in the Soul Society was on his face. "The bond that makes her mine is still strong, meaning she is still plenty alive despite the… appearance of her current state."

I held his gaze for a moment, but only let myself linger for a few heartbeats before I turned and felt my way back up the steps that were hidden by the darkness. I used the wall to aid me in making my return to the surface of the rock as quick as possible. The steps were incredibly accommodating for my gait, but I wasn't used to it and it made my steps difficult and unsteady. When I finally got to the top I almost felt winded from running up the steps. I wasn't out of shape or anything, but damn. Her home inside the rock must have been several stories down.

I picked my way across the surface of the rock until I had found my way to the hole the lead down into the heart of her rock. I glanced over the edge, forcing myself to try and look into the darkness on my own. I couldn't see anything despite my will to. I could feel my power returning to me as I gazed down, but it was slow. Hopefully Grimmjow wouldn't run out of patience while I worked.

"Tankyu no Unmei," I called out as my hand found my zanpakuto's hilt and I pulled her free. If this was all that Grimmjow wanted from me, I'd do it. We would do it… somehow. "Maebure no Shukufuku."

It took longer than normal for my armor form, like I didn't have the juice I normally had. My vision was slow to come into detail and my mind's eye even slower yet to grasp the world around me. The information that was normally a flood when I first called on my shikai was more like a gradual rising that I could easily tamp down. It was nice how smoothly it came to me, but it was a troubling thought with my impending task.

'It's the lingering weakness from her power. It will pass now that we are beyond its boundary.'

I nodded at my zanpakuto's words. She was right, this was why Grimmjow had wanted us to be able to manipulate Sekki Sekki rock. 'When I was down there, I felt completely separate from you. How are we supposed to do anything to something down there if we are so stripped?'

'Kneel,' she instructed. I was a little hesitant, but did as she said and took to one knee.

'Remember when you were going to force me to function when our bond was damaged?'

'Of course. It wasn't exactly one of my proudest moments,' I commented as I recalled that time. My bond was damaged from something my zanpakuto had done, and Takeshi had just taken Mio after the soul candy had taken her over. In my desperation I had tried to force my zanpakuto to search for her like she had for Hideo by activating our power like I used to. By feeding her blade my blood. It was how we activated our shikai for years and eventually it would be how we used our bankai. Up until now it had been how we had so thoroughly damaged our bond that it had left me unconscious for weeks and crippled for several more.

'Do it,' she said firmly. 'We need the power to overwhelm hers.'

'And damage my mind? Damage you again?'

'You have always used blood to fuel our power. In the rush of holding the garganta open, you did not. It was too much power for you to bare on your own. Sacrifice, and the burden becomes ours.'

Fun stuff…

I lifted our sword and poised the blade downward, pressing the tip to my leg where I intended to pierce myself. I wanted to hesitate, but I knew it wouldn't help the oncoming pain. I was more hesitant about what this would do to our bond, but I trusted my zanpakuto. If all we needed was power, that I could do.

I slammed my zanpakuto down through my leg with such force that her tip bit into the rock I was kneeling on. A pained shout slipped from my mouth, but I quickly swallowed it as I filed the pain away into the back of my mind. No blood fell from the blade as it was completely consumed by my zanpakuto and power burned through me. I shuddered as my mind's eye took over and spread out to take in the world around me. It was a freeing experience compared to what I had to deal with in the Soul Society. Everything was reishi, but most of it was the same type. I didn't have to filter between the thousand different things in the world, just my body, the sand, the rock, the air and the darkness below.

I turned my attention downward, feeling the call of her power like the all consuming darkness that was below. I felt like I should lean forward to respond to it's call, but my zanpakuto stepped forward. I felt her in my mind, steering me downward not with my body, but with our mind's eye. It was a strain to go down, like fighting against Grimmjow's power with the garganta. It was alive, and it didn't want my mind's eye to be down there.

The strange sensation of my zanpakuto stretching whisked through my mind just before she thrust downward. Basked in darkness I found that damaged body that belonged to the woman I had seen. She was completely encased in the melted rock, but with my mind's eye I could see her like she was crystal clear.

I was assuming she was in her released state, like a Soul Reaper who had released their shikai. She was clearly of a different ethnicity that most of the people I had seen. Her face looked different with large, but closed eyes, and a straight Greek nose that accented her heart shaped face. A bone mantel rose just before her hairline, rising several inches and fanning out almost like a crown in it's shape, but a helmet in the way it framed her face all the way down to the corners of her jaw. Her hair must have been blonde before the molten rock had trapped her, because the roots were almost a solid sheen of gold while the rest was burnt and black. Black feather shaped bones wove through her charred hair like they had once been ornaments, while a spine to pronounced from her body that the surface of it was completely exposed and ran clear down her back.

Just like I had seen when I first reached the bottom of the stairs, her entire left arm was missing, appearing as if it had been completely eaten away by the molten rock before it had cooled. Her back looked like it had taken the most damage from the molten rock, leaving the rest of her body reddened and blistered, but intact. Armor encased the center of her body like a girdle that gave her body a damn near perfect hourglass figure that somehow hadn't been ruined by the melted rock. It covered her from her chest and clear down to her hips in feather etched bone, while an armored pauldron covered her right shoulder in a similarly etched material.

I felt my zanpakuto usher my mind along, and I skipped over the rest of her to focus on the rock around her. It was so saturated with her spiritual pressure that I had a hard time focusing on it at first. With more influence from my zanpakuto, I finally was able to see the rock in definition and how it had completely encased her body.

'Can we really get her out without hurting her further?' I asked, noticing the way parts of her skin had almost fused with the rock from melting against her.

'Turn it into pure reishi,' my zanpakuto said like it was the most obvious thing ever. 'It's her power that makes the material resistant to us, not that it's actually Sekki Sekki rock.'

Well… no duh.

I felt my zanpakuto roll her eyes in my head before I had the impression that she had slapped me upside the back of my head.

'Seriously?' I thought at her. I hadn't felt the pain, but the impression of her hand on the back of my head was clear.

'Quit stalling and think ahead,' she ordered.

I let out a sigh and focused on the rocks so far below. Taking hold of them was like trying to grasp a repelling magnet. My reiatsu didn't seem capable of sinking into the rock like I wanted it to, but with my zanpakuto's push I was able to touch the surface when I really wanted to draw away.

'More,' my zanpakuto said softly. 'We need to overpower her.'

If she was this powerful in such a state, I was really glad that I didn't have to take on her darkness when she was actually healthy. But, I didn't as my zanpakuto said and pushed. My hand around my zanpakuto's hilt shifted and forced the blade to grind deeper into my thigh. Toshiro would have yelled at me for doing this, but it was necessary. Free this woman, and free Momo.

The rock gave in, crumbling bit by bit under the pressure of our power. My zanpakuto wasn't satisfied with our progress though and I felt her push harder. With her so entwined in what I was doing I wasn't worried about my mind breaking under the pressure. She knew what she was doing, and I let her control it all.

"Isa," I heard Grimmjow call out as he moved in on the breaking rock. He pulled at the weakening rock until his hands met charred flesh. He wrapped her body in his arms and lifted, breaking away the rock that trapped her.

Once she was free from the rock my mind's eye snapped back to my body with my zanpakuto's command. I yanked our blade from my leg and gripped my leg as the pain ebbed back into my mind and blood soaked into my pant leg. Burning pain seared through my leg and I let out a pathetic groan as my zanpakuto sealed the wound. God it hurt. Toshiro was a super liar or my zanpakuto was doing this intentionally to me…

When the pain finally ceased I parted the hole my my pants to see the entrance wound I had made. My skin was slick with blood, but gold reishi had closed the actual wound. My body wanted to sag and recoup from the strain of healing, but instead I moved to the stairs and let my momentum carry me down the stairs at a sprint. The steps were far more shallow than average, and it made my progress down a lot faster than I thought I was capable of. I ended up at the bottom before I was prepared and I smacked into the wall.

"Wake up," Grimmjow's soft voice hit my ears. I turned, my hand resting on the wall so I could keep myself steady as I watched him.

"Isa, breathe," he cooed as he shifted her charred body in his arms, cradling her against him. Her face was mostly still intact aside from the burns that ran across her forehead and jaw. He stroked a thumb across her unblemished cheek in a gesture so tender that I had to question if it was him or someone else. Was an Espada really capable of such caring motions? I would have never, ever thought so.

He shifted her, raising her up until his mouth found hers, sealing over her blistered lips. He must have really felt something for her to be willing to do that. I probably would have done the same thing for Toshiro, but I would have hesitated more than that. It looked like he was kissing a corpse, a charred and half fire eaten corpse.

She lurched and their mouths parted as she took in a deep and almost panicked breath. Her one good hand frantically found his jacket and closed on the fabric in a gesture that said she was desperate to hold onto something solid. Grimmjow's hand found hers, stripping it from his jacket and forcing her hand to close around his. Luminescent gold eyes blinked weakly open before they closed once more and her body went limp.

"Come back to me," he murmured as he shifted her body back up and kissed her once more. I realized then that he was actually forcing air into her, making her chest rise with the force of his exhale. He forced several breaths into her before she roused again and repeated her same panicked movements.

"Drop your resurreccion, Isa. You need to heal." His words came out soft but quick, like he was sure she would slip back into her corpse-like state in a matter of moments. Those golden eyes flicked open again, but just like before she couldn't seem to focus. She did manage to stay awake longer this time though, and her hand convulsed around his.

"What?" She asked in the smallest whisper.

"Your Negative Space, you need to pull it back in." He was trying to get a nearly dead woman to listen. I didn't know how she could possibly be responding to him in her… corpse-like condition, but she managed to say something he could hear. It didn't look like he understood her at first, but after a second his head snapped up and his eyes locked on the pile of rocks that he had extracted her from.

"Get her zanpakuto out from that rock," he ordered me.

"Her zanpakuto?" I asked as I started walking towards the pile. The glint of silver among the blackened rock caught my eye and I ran over to it. The spear that I had seen up top where my mind's eye had worked was there, still partially encased in porous rock. I looked to Grimmjow for a moment to see his eyes once more focused on the corpse in his arms. I licked my lips anxiously before I took off for the stairs and ran to the surface.

It took me a moment to regain my mind's eye once I was on the surface, and only another moment to stab my zanpakuto through my other thigh before I could find the spear encased in the rock and free it. With Grimmjow so occupied by the woman down stairs I wasn't worried about him getting pissed off with how long I took. My zanpakuto wasn't helping me as I worked this time, so it took more energy and more concentration. Whatever that woman was down stairs, she sure was strong enough to have been an Espada.

When I finally finished I moved back down the steps, knowing that if he moved her more it would just make her worse off. I had promised to free her and fulfilled my part of our deal, but if she ended up passing on before he could do something, he would probably consider our deal broken.

"You can't go, I haven't given you permission yet," Grimmjow's words wafted to me as I hit the base of the stairs. I took a moment to watch the way he cradled her in his arms, tenderly stroking his thumb across her blistered lips.

"Fuck you," she groaned out, her lips barely moving with her words.

I stumbled a bit as I moved through the pitch black room and my toes hit rocks that I couldn't see. I didn't let it take me down as I reached the pile and I took hold of the silver spear that had to be her zanpakuto. Aside from our bodies it was the only thing that wasn't consumed by darkness. This had to be it.

"You already have," he said slyly, making me raise a brow at their conversation.

"Bad idea," she responded.

"I rather liked it," he teased.

"Grimmjow," I interrupted him before they could continue any further in their flirting conversation. I moved to him and held out the butt of the spear for him to take. "Her zanpakuto."

His eyes shifted, and he glanced down at her empty hand resting on her ruined thigh. I stepped toward him and attempted to slide the end into her hand. She just flinched at the touch of cool metal and her body spasmed. Grimmjow let out a rough sigh and grabbed the hilt in her place.

"Say it, Isa," he seemed to order her as he jerked her zanpakuto from my hands. He flipped it around, sliding the blade under his arm to control its length before he shifted and grabbed her hand. He forced her to take hold of the shaft and clasped his hand over hers, holding her grasp in place. "Call it back."

"I can't," she croaked out. "It takes power to do it without the ringing, and we have none here. The ringing- it makes the power come from the metal. To break my power, remove me from it's area, or make my zanpakuto sing."

"Then I'll make it sing," he growled just before he jerked and slammed the butt of the spear into the ground. Just like he said, the metal rang like a tuning fork, filling the space with the sharp but somehow soothing tone.

"Invigorate," she murmured, her voice barely audible above the sound of her zanpakuto.

Just like a receding tide, the darkness drew from everywhere and pulled to her body. She let out a rough sigh as the charred bone armor that was most likely generated by her resurreccion vanished, leaving in its wake completely solid and unblemished flesh. That was where her healing ended though, leaving the rest of her body still charred and… partial.

"Good girl," he murmured, clearly pleased. He wasted little time dropping her zanpakuto so he could lift her in his arms and stand. She groaned like it hurt, but he seemed to ignore it as he shifted her until she was settled easily against him with her face buried against his neck.

"Get her zanpakuto and follow me," he ordered as he started for the stairs.

"Grimmjow," I said firmly as I faced him squarely. "I've fulfilled my part of our deal."

The look on his face was annoyed as he turned back to me, one foot on the stairs. "We're going to Las Noches. Once she's safely in my domain, I will make good on my word."


	18. She Who Builds

The Soul Society was a large place, containing thousands of souls and the massive grounds that the noble families maintained. I knew it had to be bigger than Las Noches, but I couldn't help but to be far more in awe of the white palace-like structure. Up close it seemed much more massive than any building I had seen in the Seireitei, even with the damage that had been done to it's dome-like ceiling and walls. I didn't know how they were even capable of such construction with only Hollows to do the work, but that only made it more amazing.

Grimmjow didn't bother stopping to admire the sight once we got closer and turned, following the line of the wall. I couldn't actually see him, our two types of speedy movement making him nothing but a spot on my senses, but I followed him nonetheless. He clearly wasn't worried about leaving me behind, and I assumed it was because he had gotten what he wanted out of me. It made me worry a bit when I considered if he was going to keep his word or not, but I'd have to trust it would work out. I would have liked to think Tankyu no Unmei would warn me if it wasn't going to, but knowing her she'd be laughing about it in the back of my head instead.

As we approached a tower that stood out of the wall of Las Noches I felt Grimmjow abruptly rise and I followed him upwards. There wasn't anything solid to actually jump off of, so I had to push harder to step on the reishi in the air. The angle that he had progressed at put us where the tower merged with the wall, and also where a large passway stood gaping open, clearly leading into the darkened halls of the tower. At first glance it just looked like an opening, but then I noticed the gaping holes that stood out from the smooth rock where hinges must have once been. Interesting…

Grimmjow chose that moment to transition into a smooth walk and I quickly dropped from my flash step just behind him. He glanced back at me for only a moment and I met his azure eyes.

"My subordinates aren't fans of Soul Reapers for obvious reasons," he said flatly as his gaze turned back to the doorway. "Don't let yourself be alone with them until I've had a chance to give them orders."

"Orders?" I asked. His words didn't fill me with confidence as we passed into the tower, but there was no going back. I was finally here. It was only a short while away from my achieving my goal. Tankyu no Unmei had been right to force me from my own head and to make me think clearly. I'd never tell her that, but she could hear my thoughts so it really didn't matter.

"I have some rather rebellious individuals that serve me," he answered a little too vaguely for comfort.

"They are like children," the woman in his arms grumbled in a rough voice. I didn't understand how she was even able to speak loud enough for me to hear, but she managed it somehow. "Children need to be taught right from wrong. Instead he treats them like convicts, beating them down and magically expecting obedience in return."

"You should go back to being unconscious," Grimmjow grumbled back in a dark tone.

"Mr. Bossypants," she retorted just before a cough was dragged from her mouth. By the sound of the rasping, he was right. Passing out would have made the pain she had to be in a lot more tolerable.

He let out a sigh and shifted like he was intentionally making himself seem bigger as we passed another open doorway and entered into a room that was so large that our footsteps echoed repeatedly off of the walls. Before I could glance around I abruptly noticed a figure running toward us. It looked like a dog, but the way it was running was more elegant than just an ordinary dog.

"You freed her," a very male voice came from its mouth as it ran in a circle around Grimmjow and slowed to walk beside him. I furrowed my brows as I focused on the one side of him that I could see. Something about that Hollow was familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't deal with Hollows much, but this one…

"I told you that I would," was Grimmjow's response.

"And what about Luien?" the dog said snippily.

"Dead."

They continued to talk as they walked, but I ignored their words. That dog was a medium sized thing with brownish black fur that ran along most of its body. The bone mask on its face made up everything from its jowls up, but trails of bone continued down his neck like stripes that faded into his fur. Claws that would rival any of the livings' predators clacked against the stone of the floor as he walked, looking sharp and dangerous despite its otherwise unthreatening appearance.

The Hollow that had attacked me in the world of the living had looked like this one before it had turned into that horror who had skewered me during my first turning point. With that realization my stomach twisted with worry and I moved to rest my hand on my zanpakuto's hilt. That was when bright golden eyes glanced back at me in a curious gesture and the tension I had been feeling eased. The Hollow that had attacked me had red eyes. That I remembered clearer than anything else.

I let out a long sigh and relaxed, my hand slipped away from my zanpakuto's hilt. I was being silly to get so worked up over nothing.

"You don't look like much of a Soul Reaper," the dog-like Hollow commented in my direction.

"I'm a Third Seat," I answered before I could consider that he wouldn't understand what I had said. "An officer, of sorts."

His golden eyes flicked up to Grimmjow and the woman, showing intelligence that seemed to far surpass anything I would have expected from an average Hollow. When his eyes flicked back to me, there was a glint of suspicion that coincided with his shift to move and walk at my side.

"You saved Isa from her Negative Space, didn't you?" he asked.

"Is that what the darkness is?" I asked, more for clarification than ignorance. She had said something similar, but I hadn't understood what she was referring to at the time.

"Yes," he answered softly. "I don't know how you did it, but thank you."

"You're welcome." I didn't feel right telling him I had only done it in exchange for something, but I smiled down at him anyway.

"What the hell is another Soul Reaper doing here?" A sharp, female voice asked.

I glanced up, sensing the woman before my eyes caught sight of her on the other side of the room. Her appearance blended with the landscape of Las Noches. Her outfit looked much like the uniforms of Aizen's army had been depicted during our lessons at the Academy. The bulk of her uniform was white while the edges were trimmed in black. Her shirt was less of a shirt and more of a taped on fashion statement with the portion that covered her stomach and between her breasts missing. A short, pleated skirt barely fulfilled its purpose leaving her upper legs exposed until black boots trimmed with white thread covered her from her mid-thigh down. Her hair was pulled up into two high pigtails while a roughly shaped mask that was about the size of a large eye patch completely covered her left eye.

"Zip it, Loly," Grimmjow said roughly. He didn't bother to turn his head to acknowledge her or anything as he continued moving to his destination.

"No. She's a Soul Reaper, and you haven't even taken her zanpakuto. What the hell are you doing?" It felt like there should have been exclamation points after that statement with the way she screeched at him.

"Loly-"

"Halibel is going to flip when she hears about whatever the hell it is you're up to," she continued to screech as she started across the room in an angry, stomping stride.

Grimmjow turned abruptly, and I realized he had moved to show Loly the woman in his arms. The pigtailed Arrancar stopped in her tracks, her mouth stuck open as her eyes took in the sight. I had seen her in the divine detail of my mind's eye, so I could understand what the sight would do to someone.

"She's alive, right?" She asked softly, like she would disturb the woman if she spoke any louder.

"Yes," he answered in a clipped tone.

"How did you-" her words trailed off as her gaze flicked to me. Her eyes were assessing, taking me in from top to bottom with fresh scrutiny. "She did it."

"Yeah, that's why I have a Soul Reaper," Grimmjow answered like it should have been the most obvious thing ever.

"How did you free her?" She asked incredulously, her question directed at me rather than Grimmjow.

"My zanpakuto can manipulate reishi," I answered.

She seemed to accept that answer and turned back to Grimmjow. "You already know that I pretty much hate you, but we all liked Isa. Except Luien, but he was an idiot. What can I do to help?"

"Keep an eye on her until I return," he said without pause as he turned to continue down the path he had originally been on. "I have business to attend to."

His words seemed to reignite the initial anger that Loly had shown when she'd first appeared, and she used it like a weapon to angrily shout at him. "You get Isa back and you're just going to leave her here while you go off-"

"Do you really think a Soul Reaper would come to Hueco Mundo for nothing?" He snapped as he glanced over his shoulder, the one eye that I could see narrowed in a threatening glare.

Loly appeared to swallow back her next words, but let out a defiant huff. "Fine, do whatever. You just better come back before she's had a chance to heal."

I watched as Grimmjow vanished into another room and I blinked at the doorway. I had apparently stopped when Loly had started toward us, which was made abundantly clear when she turned back to me and propped her fist on her hip. "Well, come on."

"R-right," I said, my voice coming out hesitantly as I walked toward her. She shook her head and passed through the same doorway that Grimmjow had. The dog-like Adjucha trotted past us through the doorway and disappeared into the mellow light that emanated from just beyond.

When I passed into the room I was greeted with a heavy humidity that didn't belong anywhere in Hueco Mundo. It was like stepping into a sauna but the overwhelming heat wasn't there. I couldn't help but to cough a little as it saturated my lungs, but was quickly distracted when I saw plants covering almost every surface of the room's walls. It was like stepping into a jungle with plants in large, ceramic pots in every corner and vines that crawled up the walls to hang down from the ceiling.

It was an amazing sight that made me want to stop and stare, but I managed to pull my eyes down to the three Arrancar as Grimmjow knelt and placed the woman on a couch that sat almost in the center of the room. The dog-like Adjucha had jumped on the cushions before them, and Grimmjow allowed him to act as a pillow as he placed her carefully on the leather furniture.

"I'll be back," he said loud enough that I could hear him. He started to pull away from her, but her one hand shot out and caught the bottom of his jacket.

"Make sure that she gets what you promised her," she murmured as those glimmering golden eyes opened for just a moment, then slid closed as she snuggled against the dog-like Adjuchas. "If you break your word to the Soul Reaper, then you are no better than Aizen ever was to us."

"That's playing dirty," he grumbled as he gently pulled his jacket from her grip and turned to me, his teal eyes looking me up and down. He sucked in a long breath and let it out in a short, fast sigh before he moved around me, walking back the way we had come in. I glanced over to the woman for a brief moment before I followed after him, wondering if just leaving her like that was really okay.

"Are we off to see Halibel?" I asked softly, not wanting to comment on my thoughts. Grimmjow must have known that she would be alright.

"Not yet," he answered. "She's probably in a foul mood from dealing with the people you intend to trade yourself for. We're going to make sure she can't tell us no before we go to her brooding tower."

I frowned at his back, but it didn't last long as he vanished into his super speedy run. I took off after him, flash stepping through and out of the building by following the feel of him as he led me further into Las Noches' grounds. The inside looked much like the outside except where dead trees and rocks would have been there was debris from the fallen dome that had once covered the entire sky. Buildings popped up from the ground in seemingly random places, the only thing in common being the white surfaces.

It wasn't long before we came upon a rock sticking up from the sand like a rough pillar of white. It appeared to be made of the same material as the other buildings had been despite their incredibly varied shapes. Its base appeared to be set at a finely crafted angle, making me think that it had been designed that way despite its size and rough appearance.

It was at the base that Grimmjow and I dropped into a normal stride and I stopped so I could look around. He didn't bother to pause in his stride and started down a pair of steps I hadn't seen until that moment, vanishing into a darkness that wasn't nearly as ominous as the other one had been. I followed him without hesitation into the depths, finding that we only went down a story or two before the landing at the bottom turned into a hallway filled with the parched scent of dust and stale air.

"Your Soul Reapers are in here," he said, answering the question that had been forming in my head.

"You're taking me to them first?" I asked with surprise.

"Isa would have my head if I didn't make good on my word. I'd prefer to not piss her off too badly when I just got her back," he answered casually with a one-shouldered shrug. "I'd rather get into a pissing match with Halibel than get Isa started on one of her rants about honor n' shit."

I didn't know why, but his answer made me grin just a little. I wanted to know more about who she was, but I didn't ask. She was his Fraccion. Maybe the way he appeared to feel about her was the same for all of the Arrancar? I had no idea.

As the hallway turned, Grimmjow motioned wordlessly for me to stay put as he entered a room that was roughly lit with torches. I watched him as he stopped and turned to face metal bars that I hadn't seen until he'd called them to my attention.

"What do you want?" A familiar female voice snapped. "Come to mock us again?"

"I think you've mistaken me for my Fraccion," Grimmjow growled.

"Grimmjow?" Her startled reply came just before hands wrapped around the bars.

"Get back," he said with an annoyed sigh as he raised his hand, pointing one finger at the bars. The hands disappeared and Grimmjow waited only a moment more before a beam of light shot from his finger and metal screeched as the light cut through it. Like there was a door in the bars that I hadn't seen, a section of metal broke away and fell to the floor with a deafening crash. The silence that followed was short-lived as several voices raised whispered questions.

"Do you idiots want to stay in there or are you going to come out?" He asked in annoyance.

"Why are you doing this? I thought that we're your damned collateral," Momo said accusingly as she emerged from the gap in the bars. I instantly caught sight of the white cuffs that circled both of her wrists and understood how they had kept them stuck inside such a simple cell. Those were the same cuffs that one of Hideo's possessed puppets had used on me after the festival. They kept someone from using any of their spirit energy, forcibly suppressing it and making any attempts to raise your reiatsu excruciatingly painful.

"Doesn't matter," he said as he reached out faster than she could react and caught her wrist. She jerked back from him like she had been burned and ended up stumbling into the three others that stood just behind her. The cuff that had been around her wrist was in Grimmjow's hand like just his touch had broken the seal in the metal.

Momo blinked, clearly at a loss for words. She looked down at her wrist then back up to him. "You're letting us go, but why?"

He held out his other hand, ignoring her question as he said, "do you want those off or not?"

She hesitated for a moment longer, but ended up holding out her remaining cuff for him to remove. Grimmjow made quick work of the cuffs that had been on her and the other three, tossing them carelessly to the ground as he removed them. I watched his apparently cold movements in wonder, trying to figure out how he was removing those cuffs so easily. It must have been an Espada thing, because Toshiro had had to freeze the cuffs off of me when I had been imprisoned by the white metal.

"Yamamoto?" Momo's sharp question drew my attention back to see her chocolate gaze fixed on me.

"Lieutenant Ogido," I answered her respectfully as I nodded my head in a small bow.

"Why are you here?" She asked in a sharp voice as she abruptly turned to face me.

"Someone had to come down here and save you all," I said, putting on a small smile that was harder to maintain than it should have been.

"You shouldn't be here," she said, shaking her head.

"Hurry up and finish your gabbing," Grimmjow said to interrupt us as he waved a hand vaguely to his side. A garganta began to slide open, the darkness inside becoming visible as the mouth-like opening grew. He stepped away from us, finding a spot to lean against the wall that was out of the way. "If we take too long, they'll notice."

"What are you doing Yamamoto?" She asked me as the garganta gaped wide beside her.

"Removing you from the equation," I said softly so she would be the only one to hear me clearly. "You are the cause of Captain Hitsugaya's inner demons and I intend to keep you from making them worse."

She hesitated for a moment, the words she had been about to say getting caught in her throat. After a moment she recovered and said, "I thought you two were just rumors."

"No, we aren't."

Her hand went to her chest absently and she grasped her shihakusho. I knew she had to be thinking about the scar Toshiro had told me about as she asked, "he's coming, isn't he?"

"Yes, and I intend to have you out of the picture before he gets to Las Noches," I said as I gestured toward the garganta and the three other Soul Reapers who had entered the darkness and stood on a pathway of reishi. "The last thing he needs is to be distracted by you if he ends up fighting."

She startled a bit with my words and took a step back from me as if I had burned her. She knew what I was referring to, and I wasn't about to back down. I made sure my face was hard as I held her gaze, unblinking. On the inside I wanted to yell at her, a feeling that was normally uncharacteristic for me. Realizing this, I kept my face flat and my glare steady.

It only took her a moment to pull herself together, and the first thing out of her mouth was something I would have expected from any Lieutenant. "What about you? I can't just leave you here."

"I made a deal," I said quickly to keep her from talking. "You need to go, and take the others with you before Grimmjow decides to change his mind."

"No," she said slowly. "I can't leave you here Yamamoto. I won-"

I took hold of my zanpakuto's hilt and called on the power of my reactive warding. I had one thought in mind as my power lashed out, catching her uniform and shoving her back through the opening of the garganta. She fell back, sprawling across the reishi floor that the others stood on with a look of bewilderment across her face.

"Close it please," I said as I glanced over to Grimmjow who had made himself a small presence at the other end of the room. He didn't visibly acknowledge my request, but the garganta began to slide closed.

"Yamamoto, you can't honestly believe this is the right way," Momo said in a panic as she righted herself and moved back towards the closing mouth of Grimmjow's garganta. She stopped just before the opening, but it was clear that she wanted to step through.

"I made a deal for your freedom, not mine." I answered softly.

"I won't leave you here to suffer alone," she said, her expression darkening with determination as her hands lifted and she began calling out an incantation for some sort of kido.

"It's fate," my zanpakuto said as she manifested beside me. Her appearance stopped Momo mid-word as her gaze shifted between the two of us, confusion clear in her expression. My zanpakuto didn't bother to say more and lifted her hand in a quickly flicking gesture. Momo flew back from the garganta and landed further in the darkness on her butt, a bewildered look on her face.

Her gaze met mine, and I held it until the garganta was completely shut. A sense of relief washed through me as soon as I knew she was gone and I bowed my head. I had been waiting for her to say more and to lose my cool. It wasn't her I was doing this for. I was here for Toshiro. She was a means to an end, and I think she realized that in the final moment.

'You think more like me every day,' my zanpakuto mused, drawing my gaze up to her. A smug grin was turning her red lips up, making me frown in return.

'I blame you for making me so cynical,' I thought back at her as I turned back to Grimmjow.

"Thank you," I said aloud as I moved toward him. My shoulder brushed my zanpakuto's as I walked past her and I heard her light laughter as she vanished back into our inner world.

"Don't thank me," he answered immediately as he pushed away from the wall he had been leaning against. "Halibel will probably try to take my head off when she finds out, and maybe yours too."

"Still, thank you," I said firmly. "Come what may, I can take it."

Grimmjow shook his head and mumbled something under his breath as he turned towards where we had come in. It was only took us a few minutes to arrive at one of the other towers on the perimeter of Las Noches, but before we ever set foot on the stone I already knew who was inside. The spiritual pressure from that night they had come to the Soul Society was an exact match for the four women I knew were inside. They weren't bothering to suppress themselves at all, which made navigating the hallways and stairs that lead up to where they were like following a beacon of power. I knew even before the light feminine tones were audible that we were coming up to the room they occupied.

"They sure did pop out on the other side of Hueco Mundo," a soft female voice said as a doorway came into my view.

"Even if they came straight here it would take them at least two days to reach us," a higher pitched female voice said.

"Yeah, they aren't even close," yet another one said.

"That's what they get for using a Soul Reaper's garganta."

"Yeah, I'm surprised that they didn't use Nel's."

"She was stuck in her child form when she left. Maybe she couldn't get back into her adult body?"

"If I had to guess, she just wanted to spend more time with Ichigo and Kazui."

"You're probably right. I don't know why she doesn't just move there. All the damn Soul Reapers are."

"Domchaka wouldn't fit." A chorus of light laughter wafted through the air.

"What do you want, Grimmjow?"

The chattering laughter was silenced by that last voice as we entered the room we had been moving toward. The three women who had been gabbing about what must have been the party of Captains were standing off to the left of the room where a large balcony extended off the side of the tower that looked out across the interior of Las Noches. I didn't pay them much attention, knowing that neither the three women were the one in charge as my eyes found a woman I had seen before.

Halibel, the blonde Espada who had fought with Toshiro not more than a few days ago, was lounging across a three-person couch. She wasn't wearing much as she lounged, apparently finding a loose tank top and shorts to be enough even in the cold of a desert's night. Her bare feet were kicked up and crossed on the armrest leaving the rest of her to lie across the cushions. She had flung one arm up to cover her face, but moved it as Grimmjow continued toward her so that she could give him a flat and unfriendly stare.

"That's such a pleasant greeting," he mocked as he stopped at the side of the couch.

"Considering that you are bringing a Soul Reaper in here with you, I think it's more than you deserve," she commented back as her head shifted slightly and her ocean blue eyes found me.

"About that," he said as his eyes also slid in my direction. "I need to trade with you."

"Trade what?" She asked in a bored tone as she slid her arm over her eyes once more.

"One Soul Reaper for a few."

"Why would I bother with a deal like that?" She replied without a thought.

"I thought you might say that," he answered. "I think she can answer that for you."

Grimmjow gestured for me to come closer with a quick flip of his hand and I obeyed. Moving forward I hesitated for a moment, debating if I should fall to one knee like I did for the Head Captain. She was the ruler of Hueco Mundo, but what did a title like that really mean to Arrancar? Finally deciding, I lowered myself to one knee.

"Stop," she said abruptly. "You're a damn Soul Reaper. Have some respect for our differences."

I straightened and nodded like she was actually looking at me. I guess they didn't do politics like we did in the Soul Society. Good to know.

"I am Ria Yamamoto, 3rd seat of Squad 10 and the only descendant of the former Head Captain. I am also a member of the Ise Clan and one of the very few people our current Head Captain calls family." Yes, I was over exaggerating my importance and it probably sounded like bragging, but it felt right in the moment. My zanpakuto didn't lie, but I sure as hell wasn't tied to the same restrictions. "I come wishing to trade myself for the Soul Reapers you currently have prisoner."

One blue eye revealed itself from under her arm and focused on me. It was a calm eye, but the sense of unease that it brought was far from friendly. It was like staring into the darkened depths of deep water and knowing something was looking back up at you.

"What would make you stupid enough to come into the lion's den alone?" She asked slowly.

"You," I answered with a confident voice. She let out a soft, almost purring laugh, but I didn't let it phase me as I continued. "Captain Hirako expressed to me your trustworthiness. I've come to make a fair trade, myself as one being who is far more valuable and one who will willingly comply with your demands."

"You're going to have to offer more than that," she growled out. Slowly she rose from where she had been stretched across the couch and righted herself. With her feet firmly planted on the ground she rested her elbows on either thigh and looked up to Grimmjow. "You wouldn't have agreed to this nonsense without a good reason."

Grimmjow nodded and glanced down to me. "She freed Isa in exchange for my convincing you to allow her to take the other Soul Reaper's place."

"Is that it?" She asked, clearly displeased.

"You know how much Isa is worth to us," Grimmjow said darkly.

"She's worth that much to you," She replied in an equally menacing tone.

"She's worth more than those zombies you want to get back from the Soul Society," he growled. I blinked with surprise as I realized they already knew how Squad 12 had acquired their Arrancar. I hadn't thought they knew, but clearly I had misjudged.

"One of them is an Espada, just like you and me."

"Luppi is a goddamn weakling. I killed him myself, and if he can't damn well stay dead then he can be a prisoner for all I care."

I tuned out their conversation as it became more of a well-worn argument than the fresh one I had expected to participate in. I needed something to turn the tide in my favor. Freeing one of their own wasn't enough for her, and Grimmjow hadn't bothered to tell her about Luien. I needed more. Grimmjow had claimed that he would convince her to agree to trade, but seeing them argue like this I understood exactly why he had released them before we came here. Clearly, the two didn't get along.

My gaze drifted off to the side until I was gazing out of the open passageway that led out onto the balcony. My attention fixated on the railing that kept anyone from going over the edge by accident, or what was left of it. The stone was broken in several places, leaving gaps that were big enough to slide the entire couch through. I blinked at it for a moment before my gaze traveled, taking in the cracks in the walls and floor. They were cracked in several places, the damage serving as evidence to what I had heard was an epic battle between the Espada and Ichigo Kurosaki years ago.

I glanced over to Grimmjow and Halibel to see them clearly occupied with arguing, and I started moving around the room. The room itself wasn't overly worn, but it was clear that nothing had been replaced in years. Although well maintained, the furniture was rough and threadbare in some spots from use. The wooden furniture appears to be a heavy duty variety with scrapes that marred the varnish like scars. The rug that sat under a coffee table was no better with loose threads and a frayed corner someone had tried to hide under the edge of the couch. The room did have some items that appeared to be in perfect condition, but they looked newer like someone had taken items from the world of the living and mixed them with the older wares.

Overall, this place had certainly seen better days. I wasn't even taking into account the demolished buildings outside or the dome-like ceiling that had partially collapsed years ago.

"I have more to offer," I said loud enough to interrupt the two. I glanced back at the two over my shoulder before I turned around and faced them. Once I knew I had their attention I rested my hand on my zanpakuto's hilt. "You are a ruler of a place that was made a ruin years ago."

"Insulting my realm is not winning you any favors," Halibel said darkly.

"Are you an idiot?" Grimmjow said on the tail of her words.

"I can return Las Noches to its former state," I said confidently. "Would you trade one Soul Reaper and a new realm for four Soul Reapers who are nothing more than numbers to the ruling body of the Soul Society?"

"That Lieutenant is worth-"

"Maebure no Shukufuku," I cut her off as I pulled my zanpakuto from her sheath. "Tankyu no Unmei."

As my mind's eye winked to life I called my armor to my body, forming it with minimal theatrics as I pushed to sort everything into its mental boxes. There was a lot more reishi here, and that made it take longer to sort out my thoughts before I could move forward. It was better than trying to use my shikai just outside of the darkness, but not by much.

I didn't let organizing everything slow me down, knowing that they wouldn't wait for me. I turned my mind's eye on the thing that would make the biggest change to the one person in the room that mattered. I sank power into the couch she was sitting on, repairing the worn leather until it was as soft and unblemished as new. I restored the elasticity of the cushions, plumping them up so much that she actually rose higher. There was such a high concentration of reishi in the air that I had little trouble finding material to fill in the chips and cracks from the wood drying out.

I heard her utter words of surprise, but I ignored it as I continued and repaired the rug, filling out the worn fibers and re-stitching the loose threads. The rest of the furniture followed, then I filled the cracks in the walls and the hidden tears in the drapes. It only took me a minute to fix everything in the room, but I knew it wasn't enough. I needed to do more. I need to impress them.

Turning my eye on the sky outside, I focused on the dome that had once covered the entire area of Las Noches. The dome had clearly come crashing down years ago, but part of it still remained across the sky in jagged pieces. I turned my eye to the sand and found most of the broken parts buried under the grains of shimmering rock. I didn't think I could do all of it after fighting through the darkness, but I could do enough to get my point across. I could have torn my armor off, but I didn't want them to know that I could be stronger.

I found the largest piece of the dome that was nearby and took hold of it with my mind's eye. The smart thing to do would have been to break it down into reishi and slowly repair it that way, but I knew that wouldn't be a very good visual. Instead of being smart, I went for big and flashy and heaved the entire piece from the sand. It must have had a surface area equivalent in size to the rock that woman had been trapped in. It was too much mass for me to manipulate for long, but that was alright. I made a show of tilting it to allow the sand to cascade down, in a sheen of refracted white moonlight.

"What are you doing?" I heard Halibel's alto voice ask from behind me.

"Turning your ruins back into a palace," I said, my voice sounding distant as I worked. I wanted to lift the entire thing into the sky, but as I pushed at it I could feel the strain in the back of my mind. My zanpakuto wasn't helping this time, but I didn't ask her to. I wasn't all powerful, and after all the energy I had spent before I was surprised I was still capable of doing this.

I ended up turning the rock into pure reishi that was easier to handle and pushed it up into the sky where I began the task of repairing the dome. Putting on a show wasn't going to get me anywhere if I couldn't actually finish. It went quickly considering it was all becoming the same material. I pulled another piece of debris from the sand to repeat the process with.

I kept it up for several minutes before I finally gave into the weariness that was creeping over me and stopped. Slipping away from my mind's eye, I blinked up at the dome I had been working on to see that I had managed to repair a good chunk of it. Certainly it was enough to impress them, though I wished I had been able to do more. As it was, I felt almost winded, like I had been working out for too long.

"I can do more," I said as I turned around, only to be greeted by Halibel standing just behind me. Her gaze was fixed on the sky, clearly taking in what I had done. I didn't let her close proximity intimidate me and continued, "I can return this entire place to how it was intended to be, and I can build whatever you desire."

"And you'll do all of this while willingly being our prisoner?" She asked slowly.

Lieutenant Ogido was a master of kido. She must have been giving them one hell of a time for Halibel to ask a question like that.

"So long as you don't try to hurt me, I won't disobey any order," I said with honesty.

Her deep blue eyes drifted down to me in a flat stare. She held it for a moment, waiting for my expression to change. When it didn't, she let out a soft sigh and leaned back so she could cross her arms under her breasts.

"Fine," she said curtly. "But, you are mine from now on. A pet that I will do with as I please."

"Understood," I responded in an equally business-like tone before I could think about answering otherwise. Captain Hirako had said that the only reason he hadn't been worried about the Soul Reapers who had been taken was because Halibel had been the one that held them captive. That had to mean something, right? I wasn't giving myself over to cruelty and suffering, right? It was stupid to be asking myself these questions now. I should have thought that over before I ever came here.

"It's settled then?" Grimmjow asked from somewhere behind her. She was a fair bit taller than me, so unless I wanted to sink back into my exhausted mind's eye, I wouldn't be able to see him.

"Yes, you can go now," Halibel answered, her voice going back to sounding irritated.

"Good, I was worried you were gonna say no," he said casually as his footfalls sounded. "I was starting to wonder what I was going to do when you found out your four Soul Reapers were already gone."

Halibel's body tensed until she appeared to be frozen in place. She blinked once, then twice, clearly not quite comprehending what Grimmjow had said. Slowly she turned on her heel as her spiritual pressure flared and a shimmering blue aura surrounded her. "What did you say?"

And he thought I was an idiot.


	19. She Who Regrets

Grimmjow shrugged like Halibel's shout wasn't a threatening sound. What was wrong with him? Was he really not afraid of her? I didn't understand how their chain of command worked, but with her being the ruler of Hueco Mundo and him being just another Espada, their places the power structure seemed clear.

"Your Soul Reapers are already gone," Grimmjow said as he slipped his hand casually into his pants pockets. "I sent them packing since I knew you wouldn't be needing them any more."

"What makes you think you're allowed to make a decision like that?"

Halibel took one step toward Grimmjow, her anger rolling off her in waves of spirit energy that crashed over me. I didn't know if I was just worn out or if she was just that strong, but the feel of her made my knees weak and the air seem thicker and harder to breathe in. Her spiritual pressure rose until the aura of it wavered around her like the visual illusion that heat gave as it radiated off a hot surface. It made her appearance seem even more menacing, like that was even possible with her entire lower face was encased by a jaw that sported dozens of finger length teeth.

"I don't have to come to you for permission," Grimmjow said as his head tilted down and he flashed Halibel a devious grin. "Especially when your fracciones weren't bothering to guard their cell. It was like inviting me to do whatever I wanted."

Halibel's head turned quickly to the three women, most likely flashing them a glare. The woman with long and straight black hair covered her mouth in surprise, the extra length of her sleeve hiding the bottom half of her face and neck.

"They were cuffed. There was no way they would have gotten out on their own, and their companions are days away. We weren't worried about keeping them contained." Her explanation sounded a lot like a bad excuse, and Halibel seemed to think the same thing.

"We will discuss this later," she snapped before her attention shifted back to Grimmjow. "You, on the other hand, I will take this disrespect out of your hide."

Grimmjow's teeth bared in a vicious grin and his spiritual pressure rose until an aura wavered around him like a flame. His power pushed against hers until there were two distinct sides of the room: one yellow like the golden hue from the sun and the other blue like the plumage of an exotic bird. "I'd like to see you try."

Like I had blinked, Halibel was suddenly where Grimmjow had been and the blue haired Espada was soaring past me. I had expected to hear the crash of him hitting the balcony or at the very least a shout of surprise, but no such sound was made. I turned to follow his form with my eyes and found him standing in the air just beyond the balcony. That same grin was on his face, his attention focused further into the room.

"You're just looking for a fight," Halibel accused, her voice sounding eerily calm.

"You're damned right," Grimmjow said as he leaned back in a cocky gesture. There was a dangerous glint in his eyes as he asked, "Did I finally piss you off enough?"

I turned back to Halibel to see the dangerous glint that had been in Grimmjow's eyes reflected in hers, betraying the anger that she was hiding from her features. She started toward me and I quickly stepped out of her way as she made her way out and onto the balcony. Grimmjow appeared to be far taller than her, but I knew it was just an illusion by his standing in the air.

Looking at Halibel from behind for the first time, I saw her zanpakuto where it was strapped to her lower back by a belt that was hidden by the elastic of her shorts. In the washed out light of the massive moon in the sky, her skin seemed pale and her hair a bleached yellow that reminded me of a lemon custard. Her hair wasn't very long with only small pieces draping low enough to actually brush her shoulders. The tank top that she wore looked so out of place on her body, loosely fitting and easily showing all the bone of the mask that encompassed her neck and the lower half of her face. It looked more like a man's shirt than a woman's, but her shoulders were broad to match her superior height and filled it out nicely.

It was odd seeing her in such Human looking clothing, but I had only seen her once before and it had been a short lived and trying experience. What did I know about Espada? Maybe they always wore the clothing of the living? Grimmjow didn't, and neither did the other three women, but maybe it was just chance?

I had no idea.

"Yes," Halibel finally answered. She reached back, her finger hooking through the small circles that ornately decorated the edges of her zanpakuto's hand guard. She pulled her zanpakuto free, exposing the wide but hallowed out blade. "You have pissed me off enough."

She vanished in a pulse of power that exploded from where she had been, knocking me back several steps. She abruptly appeared before Grimmjow in a clash of metal and sparks as their zanpakuto collided and together they shot towards the ground in combat. As soon as they passed below the edge of the balcony I walked forward and out to a railing where my free hand caught the stone so I could look down at the two.

They were nothing but a tiny blur of motion below, moving over the sand as their spiritual pressures clashed and their blades sparked. I knew I was helpless to stop them, but gazing down I felt like I had to do something. Would Grimmjow win? I didn't think so, but if he didn't would Halibel take her anger out on me next? I wish I knew.

Sensing movement behind me, I turned away from the two warring Espada to come face to face with one of the three women who I knew were Halibel's Fracciones. Her mismatched eyes were wide, but it wasn't from surprise or curiousity. No, it was more of a crazy, wide-eyed stare. It was the look I had always expected to see on an Arrancar's face. The Espada I had met so far all had appearances and expressions that were awfully Human, unlike the woman who stood far too close to me.

"You must think you're awfully smart to have snuck that one over on us, huh?"

It had actually all been Grimmjow, but I didn't express that thought to her as I bowed my head in a submissive gesture I has used all too often around the elders of my clan. "I made a deal with Grimmjow."

"I'll just bet you did," she growled. Her hand abruptly caught the side of my head in a backhanded slap that had me stumbling sideways. My hand slipped from my zanpakuto with the sudden movement making me drop my shikai and my armor with it. I covered my temple and cheek bone with my palm as my sleeves reformed, protecting where her hand had connected as pain burst like small explosions through my head. I had been hit before, but never slapped. It was a whole new kind of pain that had me blinking stars away and fighting against nausea.

"Listen here, you wicked little Reaper," she snarled as her hand smacked into the back of my head and took hold of my chignon. The pins of my kanzashi stabbed into the back of my head, and I felt blood run hot down my scalp as she lifted me by my hair like it was nothing until I was straining on the tips of my toes. "You have no idea what sort of rats nest you've just dumped yourself into."

I didn't reply to her, knowing it would most likely make her treatment of me worse.

Her eyes narrowed and she pulled me closer until her face was all I could see. Her upper lip pulled up and a snarl bubbled up from her throat in warning before she said, "We server Halibel like you fucked up Reapers serve Captains. If you so much as look at her wrong I will hurt you. If you even think about raising a hand against her, I will break your little neck. And if you actually manage to hurt her, I will eat you - bite by bite - until nothing remains."

"I won't do anything to go back on this agreement," I said from between clenched teeth. "You only have to worry about the troop of Captains coming this way."

Her eyes lit up with a thought and she rotated her grip on my hair, forcing me to look up at her. "You know who is coming?"

A pang of worry struck through me as I realized that I had just placed myself in a very bad position. Surely they would have already figured our timing was awfully close, but if they hadn't they would probably blame me for their appearance. There was no point in trying to lie to them though, so I sucked in a breath and answered her.

"I'm a third seat. I'm not involved in what Captains do, but I do know that there are enough of them to out number the remaining Espada two to one."

Her eyes narrowed and a grin up turned her lips. That was not even close to the reaction I had expected. "The last time your kind tried to invade Hueco Mundo we were new to our powers and limited by Aizen's rules. There are no such limitations this time. We will water the sand with their blood, and all you'll be able to do is stand behind us, watching as we tear them apart."

"Halibel won't be happy if you abuse her too much, Apacci."

The named Arrancar released the hold on my hair and I fell into a heap on the balcony, shocked by what she had said. They had been limited before? I had no idea if she was bluffing or serious, but the confidence she showed made me question what I had thought would be a certain win for us. There were only three Espada left, and one of them was on our side. I had assumed that the only thing that would keep us from winning was the restraint that we would have to exercise in order to keep from bringing Lieutenant Ogido and the other three held prisoner into the fight.

Had I been wrong?

"What are we going to do with her?" one of the other women asked. They had congregated beside me, all of them looking down at me like I was nothing more than a rodent.

"We should put her to work while Halibel deals with Grimmjow," the Asian looking one said as she covered her mouth with her sleeve, probably hiding a smile.

"I doubt she is up to such activities," the darker skinned woman said as she stepped forward, placing herself between me and the other women.

"Who cares?" Apacci half shouted as she made a rude gesture in my general direction, her gaze fixated on the back of her companion's head. "She's a goddamn Reaper. Since when have we cared what happens to one of them?"

"Since they defeated Yhwach," the woman closest to me answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"He wasn't killed by Soul Reapers. He was killed by Ichigo!"

"And who killed the Quincy that defeated us? Who freed Halibel from their damned prison?" She snapped as she turned in one abrupt motion. "It sure as hell wasn't an Arrancar, nor was it Ichigo. It was the Soul Reapers you are verbally bashing."

"Are you two really going to go at it again?" The Asian woman asked, drawing the eyre of the other two.

"Don't even try to pretend that you have no opinion. I know you're just waiting to get a piece of that blonde asshat!"

"Of course I am, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go shouting it to the world," she scoffed as she promptly averted her gaze in an aloof gesture.

Their argument continued, reminding me a lot of Rangiku and Lieutenant Madarame in their ferocity and irrational complaints. They were so absorbed in each other that as I got to my feet, they didn't even glance my way. I didn't do much more than that, assuming that if I did they would bother to give me some unwanted attention.

The three woman abruptly stopped talking just before a boom of power shook the tower. As one, they all turned and moved towards the edge of the balcony, stopping only when they all could look over the edge and down to the fight that must have been revving up.

"Geeze," one of the women grumped. "They're going to break everything she just fixed with a fight like that."

"Good thing she's ours now."

"Let them fight it out in peace. Halibel has been denying him a fight for years now, so it's only fitting that she put him in his place."

The dark skinned woman turned and came towards me, leaving the other to women to watch. Her green eyes seemed to glow in the light from the moon as she looked down at me. She was tall like Rangiku, even shaped like her, but the serious look on her face was so unlike my blonde Lieutenant's that I suddenly missed her presence. With her standing so close to me and obviously looking me over, I put in the effort to take her appearance in return. Her brown hair was several shades darker than her skin, and ran in long waves down her back. Her top covered her breasts and upper abdomen, but the shape of it left little to the imagination. Thankfully, her pants were fashioned after our shihakushos and covered her from her hips down in a swath of loose while cloth.

Tanlines showed on her upper arms, defining where she was clearly missing some item of her outfit and exposing what must have been her natural skin tone. Her skin wasn't much lighter, but it was clear she had tanned in the sunlight that I had never known existed in Hueco Mundo. White bone covered her hair in one piece that looked more ornamental than like it was actually a mask. One main band of metal sat atop her head, adorned with horns that stood out like a steer's in their shape and points. Another lesser piece of bone ran from front to back, making the thing as a whole look like less of a crown and more like a helm.

"Halibel would probably scold us if we stuck you in the cell we had your companions in," she said more to herself than to me as she looked me up and down with an assessing gaze. "You belong to an Espada now, so we will treat you like the property you are."

She turned away from me then, one hand motioning for me to follow as she headed for the only walking entrance to the room. I spared a glance at the remaining Arrancar before I gave them my back so I could follow the woman. I watched her as she moved until she had lead us to a set of stairs and I had to watch where my feet were going.

"What does it mean to be treated as property?" I asked. The words coming out of my mouth sounded odd even as I said them. Property. I was property. It wasn't such a foreign concept when I considered that I had prepared for the majority of my life to be someone's obedient wife. But, I wasn't going to find any sort of softness here. I was property until Toshiro came for me. Guilt hit me, but I pushed the feeling aside. It would work out. It had too. My zanpakuto had seen the future. She wouldn't have let me blindly enter a life of servitude, right?

No, a few days. That's all it would be. A few days and everything would go back to normal somehow.

"You're our problem. Do what we want, when we want, and we will treat you like a good tool. Give us trouble, and we will treat you like garbage." She shrugged like it was a casual comment.

"Understood," I said softly as we turned off the stairs and to a hallway that was lined with several doors. She reminded me so much of my suddenly missed Lieutenant that I couldn't help but to relax slightly now that it was just her and I.

Strutting to down the hall a few paces she abruptly stopped and turned to me, one hand resting on her hip as she cocked it out to one side. "You're a Soul Reaper in an Espada's den. Halibel is a good judge of character and a good leader. But for me to believe your promise in good conscience, I need to hear you answer my questions. Don't even try to lie to me, because I will know."

I didn't think she would actually know if anyone else was lying, but I was terrible at it. The only reason I had probably gotten away with lying to Apacci was because of the stress of the moment. Toshiro always knew, even before we had become close. He wasn't the only one though. Rangiku, Rukia, Lady Nanao, Mio...

"I won't," I said with a small shake of my head.

Her eyes narrowed, but she nodded. "Do your comrades know that you're here? That you've taken the place of the four Soul Reapers we had?"

My eyes widened. I hadn't expected questions like that.

"One of them might know I'm here," I said slowly as my gaze shifted down and to the side as I tried to figure out exactly what I wanted to say. My zanpakuto was really good at speaking without actually lying, so I tried to pretend I was her for as I answered, "I was separated from them at the Senkaimon when Grimmjow destroyed it in his gleeful violence against his Fraccion."

"So none of them know what's happened here?" She asked, a finger tapping against her pants. "No communication by bug, or whatever it is that you Soul Reapers use?"

I blinked at her and wondered why I hadn't thought of bringing a Hell Butterfly with me. Idiot. "No, I haven't spoken to any of them since then."

"And you won't," she said. I couldn't tell if it was a question or statement, but I answered it anyway.

"Hell Butterflies come from the Soul Society and guide us between worlds. As far as I am aware, we didn't bring any such creatures or devices like that with us."

"Sounds like you were awfully unprepared," she commented as her head tilted to the side. She looked unimpressed in that moment, but I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing. "How long have you been a Soul Reaper?"

"W-why does that matter?" I asked, stuttering over my words.

"You're inexperienced," she stated flatly. "So much power and such a dunce. No wonder you offered yourself up. You're a self sacrificing idiot."

My mouth dropped open before I realized it and I snapped it shut. How did I answer an insult like that without offending her?

She let out a rough sigh and turned to one of the closest doors. Tugging it open she mumbled an order to stay put before she vanished inside. I stayed still so I could listen to her subtle movements. Footsteps, a drawer sliding, fabric rustling, another drawer sliding. I leaned forward, curiously trying to see through the open door without actually moving from my spot. There was enough light from a window in the room that I could watch her as she moved past the door frame to the other side of the room to clatter around some more before she abruptly emerged. A messy bundle of cloth was in her hands, and I had a sinking feeling that I was going to be changing outfits again.

"Strip," she said as she held one hand out, her fingers flapping in a gesture that said she wanted something me. "Give me your zanpakuto."

My face flushed red, but I did as she said and slipped Tankyu no Unmei from my belt. I hesitated a bit as I held her out, but after a moment I placed her hilt in the Arrancar's outstretched hand. When her warm metal left my skin I felt a weakness creep over me, and it made my shoulders drop even more with weariness. Strip she had said. I should have expected as much. This outfit had pockets inside of pockets, though all of them were empty. They wouldn't know that.

I let out a sigh, trying to trick myself into this being casual and began pulling at my jacket's buttons, finding it harder to find and undo them than it had been to put it on. I glanced around as my fingers worked, nervous that there might be someone else watching. We were in the middle of a hallways after all, but as I thought about it I realized that I was only sensing the booming fight outside between the two Espada, the woman before me and the two up stairs. Unless someone was suppressing themselves, we were alone. The confirmation made it easier to slip my jacket off, and in quick succession the rest of my clothes. This may have been a hallway, but I did my best to pretend it was the public bath house.

"These were Lilynette's," she stated like the name should have been familiar as I disrobed, handing me pieces of clothing that would replace the ones I was removing piece by piece. I mechanically put them on despite the cold induced shiver that was making my body tremble, pausing only when I realized that I wasn't putting on undergarments, but the actual clothes that she intended for me to wear. "She was a bit shorter than you so I imagine they won't fit perfectly, but the rest of us women are quite a bit bigger than you. Isa would probably have something more suitable since she plunders the World of the Living whenever she feels like it, but there's no way in hell I'm going over there with her as wounded as I think she is."

My blush grew darker as I thought about my lack of standard attire around Toshiro, but I didn't bother voicing that thought as I tugged on one of the boots she had handed to me. I was trying not to look like a fool while balancing on one foot, wobbling as I fought with the unfamiliar item. I had never worn thigh high monstrosities like these, and I really didn't understand why someone would.

It took me only a few minutes to get fully clothed, if you could call if that. Once her hands had been empty, she had collected the outfit that Yoruichi had given me and searched the pockets before rolling it up in a messy ball that fit under her arm. It had left me pulling at the small vest that she called clothes, trying to keep it in place over my breasts. Lilynette, whoever that had been, was indeed been smaller than me. Not just in height but in breast and hip size. The vest was just enough to my beasts, but left a long line of skin from my neck down to the underwear that covered my groin, butt and little else. The thigh high material was tight, and at mid calf they transitioned into a heavier, almost leather like material of real boots. All of it was black and white, and nothing that I would ever be comfortable in.

I eyed my zanpakuto in her hand, and her gaze followed mine.

"I'll keep this until you can prove yourself trustworthy," she said, answering my unspoken question.

I nodded in understanding, but asked, "may I make this fit properly before you confiscate her?"

"Her?" her expression was amused, but she held my zanpakuto out to me.

"Our zanpakuto are the other half of our soul. They aren't always the same gender as us, or the same species, but Tankyu no Unmei is very similar to myself," I explained as I reached out, my hand turning so I could take hold of her hilt instead of her hand guard. I hesitated for only a moment as I glanced down at myself, taking in the outfit so I could better align my purpose before I took her offered hilt in hand. My purpose washed over my body in wave of power, changing the outfit so it fit better and adding in details that had been beyond on my thoughts and most likely added by my zanpakuto.

A surprised noise came from the arrancar before me as I regretfully released my zanpakuto. I didn't need to look down at myself to know what had changed because it had all been in my mind. The vest was still on me, though I had adjusted the size so it would actually stay where it was meant to. Underneath the vest I had wrapped my chest in a white bandage like fabric just incase the unfortunate breeze would lift the edges of the vest from my body and accidently expose me to someone's gaze. The underwear like bottoms had also shifted to accommodate my larger body, but I had also made it cover more by turning them into something I had seen in the World of the Living. Short shorts, I think they were called. They were still incredibly revealing, but knowing my butt was actually covered and feeling the material hug my hips made me feel better.

I had wanted to change all of it into something less revealing, but I had a feeling I would have been changing again had I done that. They didn't want me wearing clothes that I could hide things in. I didn't think it made sense when they had to know I wasn't powerless without my zanpakuto, but I wasn't going to put myself on bad terms only 5 minutes after I agreed to be their property.

"Thank you," I said as I pulled my hand back and tugged self consciously at the vest.

"You don't need your shikai to use your zanpakuto's powers?" She asked, my zanpakuto lowering with her hand to her side.

"That was a different part of my shikai," I said, trying to be vague. I didn't want her to know just how my zanpakuto worked. I hadn't thought about it a moment ago, but I shouldn't have altered my clothing with that part of my shikai. I should have activated it fully to do it, but it wasn't horrible that I had given away some of my power to her. I'd just have to cover it up. "I have to keep in contact with her in order to use any power."

She watched me for a long and tense moment, her gaze burning a hole through me as I pointedly kept my eyes averted to the floor to examine how the smooth stone ran into the wall, a crack showing where they joined. This place was in really bad shape, and I distracted myself with that thought as my eyes ran over the surfaces that I could see in search of imperfections.

"You think this is temporary, don't you?" she asked. I stiffened and shook my head in a terrible attempt to hide my surprise. She let out a soft laugh, and I watched her feet as she turned and headed down the hallway.

"You have no idea what sort of situation you've gotten yourself into," she said, her voice light with her laughter. "Those Soul Reapers we had prisoner were a means to and end. You, however, have presented yourself as something Halibel actually wants."

She stopped at one of the doors that line the hallway and took the handle to push it inwards, revealing a darkened room. She stepped back and gestured for me to go inside. I obeyed her unsaid command and stepped inside, turning once I had passed the threshold to look up at her.

"You're a tool that she wants to use to repair Las Noches. Seeing this place restored to its former glory and brought back into a place of power is something she has desired ever since Aizen was defeated, making her the Queen on High." She stepped into the room for only a moment, taking the door knob in hand before she returned to the hallway, the door following her until only a small part was left for her to watch me through. "The reason she started this campaign was to get our comrades back, but now I think it's more than that. I think she wants you to fix what is broken, and to build something greater than Hueco Mundo has ever seen before."

The door closed, making a booming sound that was far louder than it should have been. Darkness engulfed the room, leaving me feeling cold and more alone than I had in ages. Dread washed over me as I thought over her words, and one regretful though ran through me.

What had I just done?


	20. She Who Dreams

"How the hell are you doing that?" Apacci asked from behind me.

I glanced back at her through my mind's eye but didn't physically turn. She looked uncomfortable standing inside the box I had constructed around us to keep me from getting sunburned as I worked. The walls were clear, though I had tinted them so the world wasn't a blinding, burning mass of sand and sky. The walls weren't very thick, but I had made them out of the same material as my armor. It was just thick enough to be a layer of protection, but thin enough that I could still hear the sand whispering as I worked. Apacci had protested when I had made my box around only myself. She'd even tried to shoot a hole through it with her cero, but I had been ready for it and it did little more than scuff the surface.

It had been almost two days since I had given myself to Halibel, but it felt like longer. It made me wonder if Hueco Mundo had longer days than the Soul Society, or if it was just my skewed perception of time. Outside of the room I had been given I was constantly being escorted around by one of Halibel's Fraccion. They didn't trust me not to do something stupid with my zanpakuto, which was probably smart for them and frustrating for me. Being parted from Tankyu no Unmei made me feel vulnerable and uneasy. If I wasn't trying to be as submissive as possible, I would have tried to argue against them taking her from me, but as it was I had no grounds to argue. I was property, and as Apacci liked to say, slaves didn't have a choice. I was just a prisoner with a job, nothing more.

"My shikai allows me to manipulate reishi," I said in a monotone voice as I returned my attention to the building I was working to reconstruct. This was building number seven, which wouldn't have been all that impressive of a workload if the buildings I was repairing were a normal size. Whoever had built Las Noches must have had an ego the size of the world because every building was massive and contained enough rooms to house a small army.

"Yeah, you said that already, but how are you doing it?"

I wasn't sure if I was disappointed or flattered that she still hadn't figured out how my power worked. I wasn't doing anything different from normal, but it must have been quiet startling to see me lifting pieces of destroyed building from the sand in a cascade of glimmering gold granules of sand, all while I stood in one place looking like I was staring at nothing.

"My shikai allows me to convert reishi from one mass to another. I can control and manipulate just about everything if I put enough power into it."

There was a pause in her response, but I didn't let it distract me as I lifted another chunk of building from the sand and guided it to the pile of debris I had made next to the tower. I was preparing everything for when I would reassemble it, knowing that moving such a large mass at once was possible but incredibly draining. If they really wanted me to get as much as possible done in only a few days, I would need to be smart about how I exerted myself. Or they'd need to actually feed me.

They hadn't bothered to treat me like a living being, but I couldn't blame them. I had learned on the first day that they didn't need sustenance like Soul Reapers and the living did. They fed almost purely off the reishi of others rather than prepared foods. I had seen them actually eating and joined them this morning, but it wasn't for survival that they ate but rather amusement. Or boredom. A handful of nuts and crackers a day wasn't enough to keep even my smaller body fueled. It had to be well into the afternoon now with the way the sun was starting to slant and my body was starting to shake with the lack of sustenance.

"What about Arrancar?" She asked, drawing me away from my thoughts and work. "We're made of reishi, so you should be able to manipulate us too."

I turned my attention from what I was doing and to her in my surprise. The chunk of wall that I had been moving slipped from my control and crashed down on my box, shaking the earth with the force. I hadn't said anything about manipulating people. Had it been an innocent question, or did she know something? I had to wonder. Had they seen me kill Hideo somehow?

"I have never been able to manipulate a Hollow," I answered her in a flat tone. It wasn't intentional, but with my mind's eye running I had lost most of my ability to express emotions. I was too tired to do anything fancy, so I had been using my shikai like I had been for years and shoving any unnecessary information into categories so I could sort my thoughts.

"Have you ever tried?"

I had refrained from actually turning towards her up until now, but her question was just too close to the truth of what I could actually do. The only ones who actually knew what I was capable of were the Lieutenants, Captains, and the stealth force who had come to get me after I had killed Amagi. Had no one wanted to say it to my face that controlling a person was possible until I had done it, or did they magically know something? Had they heard Lieutenant Ogido talking about it? She might have been talking to the others imprisoned with her and not realized someone could hear her.

"No, I have not," I answered after a moment. "I am a Soul Reaper, but my strengths aren't in combat. My roles and responsibilities in my squad revolve around the repair and maintenance of the Seireitei, administrative duties and recruitment. The only time I have actually been involved in violence was when I was personally threatened."

"That doesn't mean you can't," her head drifted to the site as her eyes narrowed, assessing me. "You're just giving me excuses."

I kept my face blank as I ran through all the possible explanations I could give her. She wouldn't stop wondering if I didn't give her an answer, and it wasn't something I wanted her to be worrying about. "I can only control something that I can overpower. Your body is so saturated with your own reiryoku that unless I could utterly and completely take over, I wouldn't be able to control you like I do inanimate reishi."

"So you can."

"If it were a weaker being, I would believe that I could," I turned my gaze to the ground and slipped back into my mind's eye. I turned my zanpakuto in my hand to flash her the blade, making a point show her the gold filled cracks in better detail. "Grimmjow broke my mind and zanpakuto when I fought him for control of his garganta. Until Tankyu no unmei has repaired herself, I am not capable of such power with my shikai."

I hadn't actually been told that by my zanpakuto, but I wasn't willing to risk breaking her again.

'I am not so fragile as to break under a light breeze,' she chided in my mind. I didn't think a response back at her, knowing she knew the intent behind my rambling thoughts. She and I hadn't had a chance to speak much due to our prolonged periods of separation. She wasn't willing to manifest in front of them like she had Grimmjow, and I couldn't blame her. The less they knew of what we could do, the better.

"So that was you," Apacci said aloud. It sounded like she was talking to herself so I didn't answer as I began lifting the pieces of the broken wall I had dropped and set them back on course for the pile I had been creating. Silence reigned between us, and I watched her with my mind's eye even as I searched the sand for more pieces of the building. I didn't like her silence, and her body posture made me feel like she was a ticking bomb. I just didn't know what the explosion was going to be.

"Ideally, you could take on an army of standard Hollows like they were nothing," she was talking aloud again, but not looking at me. "You're stronger than any new born Hollow just as you are now. Probably even stronger than a Gillian. You could probably walk into Menos Forrest and demolish every being that came at you."

"Ideally, but I am not willing to try," I answered her as I turned, giving her my back. With my mind's eye I wasn't actually allowing her to have my blind spot, but I was giving her the impression of it. She was hitting every warning alarm I had, but I couldn't tell if it was just me taking it the wrong way or if it was real.

"I think you should," she said confidently.

I didn't let her words give me pause as I pushed at my box, sliding us twenty feet to the side so I could lift a piece of building from the sand where we had been. She stumbled with the movement to keep herself upright while I held myself steady with my armor. I had done this a few times to her despite her complaints, but it was easier to move my box than to exert energy keeping it in the air when the sand sank with the removal of the building.

"Do you know what the purpose of a Soul Reaper is?" I asked her once she had caught her balance.

"To be a pain in the ass," she comment snydly.

I frowned at her answer, but I had expected something like that. "Our purpose is to maintain the balance between the worlds. Regulating the flow of souls, if you will. Hollows are souls just like the living, or the residents of the Soul Society. When your kind consume another soul, that is one less soul to flow between the worlds, but you yourself are still a soul. This is why our zanpakuto exist. Yes, they are a tool that reflects our soul, but they are also a tool that allows us to return Hollows to the proper flow. They are not tools for mass exterminations."

"But you could do it." She was being awfully insistent.

"If my zanpakuto wasn't broken, yes, but I wouldn't," I finally admitted.

"I think you're strong enough to do it even with your zanpakuto in such a state."

"Why are you so insistent?" I asked as I dropped the piece of building I had been moving on the pile, making the sand quaver with its weight.

"I want to understand just what kind of tool you are, Reaper." Her tone had grown darker with warning.

"I'm just that, a tool. Not a weapon," I stated, needing to clarify the difference.

"You are what Halibel wants you to be."

"I will do as I promised, but I will not become a weapon. My shikai is not meant to be used like that."

Thoughts of my inner world flashed through my mind, but I quickly shoved them into a box. I didn't need to be thinking of that right now. My zanpakuto wasn't meant for combat? I was just lying to myself by saying that. I didn't use her for combat, but that didn't mean that I couldn't. I had learned that by dying over and over again until I had no choice but to accept it. And Amagi…

I rolled my shoulder to shift the pauldron in an uncomfortable gesture before I turned my mind's eye back on the pieces of building.

Apacci and I clearly didn't get along very well. She was violent and impulsive compared to her counterparts. Sung-sun and Mila Rose were far easier to get along with. Even being under their thumb wasn't horrible, as they would give me freedoms that Apacci didn't think were necessary. Like, being able to go to the bathroom in peace. It wasn't like I was going to cook up some super crazy kido while I was relieving myself. I could only guess that Lieutenant Ogido had made their life a living hell as they tried to contain her, and they were treating me like I was capable of everything she had done and more when in reality, I wasn't all that great with kido. I needed my zanpakuto to be any sort of threat, and they did a damn good job of taking her away from me at any opportunity.

Apacci gave me a devilish smile that seemed all too perfectly timed as I felt another presence approach from further within Las Noches. I frowned when I didn't recognize their spiritual pressure, and visibly turned so she would catch the hint that she should follow my gaze. She took the hint almost like she had sensed them too and turned, giving me her back unexpectedly.

A boom of power washed over my box just before the sound of it hit us and made my chest ache with the force. I didn't show my discomfort as I waited for the sand to settle so I could see who our lovely visitor was. Apacci was looking like she was getting ready for a fight as her feet spread to shoulder width and her hand rested over her left wrist guard where I knew her zanpakuto resided within the metal. In my mind's eye I could tell she had tensed while her face screwed into an angry scowl.

"Who is that?" I asked in a low voice, intending for only her to hear me.

"Arnau Zaldivar," she answered in an equally quiet tone. "A wanna be Espada from before Aizen's rule."

"Your wound me, Love." A deep, resounding male voice came from the settling sand as a lean and very male form began to show. Apacci glanced back at me like she was surprised, and I abruptly understood that she had thought my box was sound proof.

I shook my head. My mind's eye gave my senses a substantial boost, but I hadn't thought I would be more sensitive than her. "The walls aren't thick enough to stop sound. I can make them that way if you'd prefer."

"That would have been nice to know earlier." Her grip on her wrist guard tightened before her face dropped back into a glare and she turned back to the man. "What do you want, Arnau?"

"I was wondering why we have a darling little Soul Reaper inside our walls and you aren't killing her," he said cheerfully as he stepped forward, emerging from the cloud of sand.

From head to toe he looked like he didn't belong inside the white walls of Las Noches, but rather back in some foreign time period. A grey, seamless overcoat hung from his shoulders in a long swath of silken fabric. It almost looked like a robe in it's cut, but small clasps ran down the center of his chest to hold it snuggly to his body. There were no sleeves to his jacket, leaving his muscular arms exposed down to his wrists where fingerless gloves of the same material interrupted the sight of his honey colored skin. The length of his overcoat stopped just above his knees, but it was hard to see where his overcoat stopped and his pants started. It was all the same material, and the pants fell smoothly down to his sandals almost like a skirt.

White bone lined his jaw looking like a piece of metal rather than a bone. It was roughly an inch wide band that spiked up in places to accentuate his features underneath. Two higher spikes looked like they were inline with his bottom canines, giving him a predatory look. It wasn't the same level of predator as Grimmjow appeared to be, especially with the frothy sand blonde hair that seemed heavily styled but still messy.

Gleaming green eyes were intent on me, most likely taking in the contrast of my armor against the outfit I had been given to wear. Neither outfit was meant to be worn together, but thankfully my armor had covered my upper body with the metal obi and chest plate. Only the tops of my thighs were still exposed, which was a thousand times better than running around without my armor on. Facing him directly probably didn't show any more skin that I was used to with my thigh plates protecting me to just above my knees. The way he was looking at me though wasn't like he was looking at my showing skin, but rather like he was trying to see the weaknesses in my armor. Assessing, searching, gauging.

"She belongs to Halibel," Apacci said sharply. "If you have a problem with her presence, I'm sure Halibel would be happy to educate you."

"Our fearless leader is too naive to understand what it means to bring a Soul Reaper into our place of power," he said with a galant shrug that transitioned into him flicking his blonde hair out of his face. "I'd prefer to spare her the trouble of learning the hard way, and just take care of this mess before it becomes a stain on our white walls."

"That's not your decision to make."

He laughed, making a smooth and velvety sound fill the air. He was clearly enjoying himself and not showing any sign of worry as Apacci drew her zanpakuto. I remained physically still, but as they had been speaking I had been spreading my mind's eye through the sand around us. It was easier to take on such mass with everything being made of the same material, unlike how it would have been in the Soul Society with the overwhelming flood of information. There was no grass, soil, minerals, wood or other materials here. All of it was just sand.

Apacci turned abruptly to me, snarling with the movement as she pointed one of her curved zanpakuto threateningly at me. "Don't even think you're going to get involved. You just stay back here and keep working while I get rid of this pest."

Her mismatched eyes held the anger that I had known she was capable of since the first day I had been here. Seeing it made me take a step back as I thought about my still tender cheek. She was the only one in the last two days who had actually struck me, though there had been plenty of warning glances as I had passed from hand to hand. It was clear there was going to be a fight, but she would probably find it offensive if I tried to help her.

Obediently I bowed my head and turned away. I dropped half of my box, freeing her from it's confines before I closed it between us. There was no way that I was going to just give them both my back without some sort of protection. I made it appear as though I had done as she asked as I released my hold on the sand around us and pushed the information to the back of my mind. I didn't have the capacity to focus on the area around us and still move the large chunks of building that I had unearthed thanks to my hunger weakened state, but I didn't let my attention completely slip away. Even as I began placing the chunks of building together in the first steps of remaking the tower, I kept part of my mind's eye trained on the two Arrancar behind me. I didn't know what was happening, but as their conflicting spiritual pressures rose my skin tingled with gooseflesh.

"You really think you can stop me? A baby Fracciones like you?" He laughed again, though this time he was clearly doing it to mock her. "You haven't even been an Arrancar for a millennia. How can you possibly think that fighting me is a good idea for someone like you?"

"You're just a relic from another time."

"Indeed," he mused just before his spiritual pressure spiked. Without any other warning a cero shot from the space before his mouth. Apacci dodged out of the way well before it hit her, leaving it to explode against the wall of the my box. I slammed against the opposite wall with the force of it, barely catching myself before my head could crack against the wall. Sand rushed in, making me cough with the cloud that polluted the air. My mind's eye was shaken like a tine from his cero, and I dropped it before the quavering made me sick. While the blow had shaken my mind's eye, I was only slightly dazed and managed to turn my attention fully to the box around me to see the entire wall had been blown away. My mouth dropped open slightly with my shock. Apacci's cero hadn't done more than scuff the surface, but his had taken out the entire wall and then some.

Who the hell was this guy?

"Peek a boo."

I startled at the musical note of his voice, and realized that he was standing just outside the gaping hole in my wall. I was at a loss for what to do as I gazes up at him in shock. A sly grin was turning his lips as he watched me. I must have looked like I was cowering in the corner, even if it was just my shaken mind's eye that had me looking unsteady.

"Fuck off!" Apacci's scream sounded wild as a volley of ceros shot at us. In that moment I was thankful that I had shoved my emotions into their filed away box as I slipped back into my unstead mind's eye and reacted, taking hold of the sand still lingering in the air and scrambling to tear my left arm guard from my body. Arnau vanished just as the first cero hit and my walls reformed, reinforced with the reishi from my armor as her cero's impacted all across my box. My walls cracked as they were struck while I was constructing them, but I repaired them as I pulled at my left shoulder pauldron and thigh plates almost desperately.

"She's such a fiesty one, wouldn't you say?" His voice seemed to come from no where before he emerged from his sonido on the other side of my box. He was using me and my box like a shield to hide from her ceros, but he didn't seem to have a care for her. His green eyes were hungrily focused on me as a ball of light formed in front of his mouth. It had to be another cero. "Then again, your opinion doesn't really matter."

"She's mine."

I didn't even feel Halibel until after she had appeared, her tall form completely blocking him from my view. She had donned something that was far more Espada looking than the tank top and shorts I had seen her in two days ago. In a jacket that completely covered the bone of her mask with it's high collar, solid white fabric and a matching pair of hakama, she looked just like the Espada I had known she was. From behind she didn't appear to have sustained any damage from her fight with Grimmjow, but I could only see the skin of her lower back.

"Oh," Arnau purred as I heard the sand shuffle and his spiritual pressure dulled. "Well, isn't it my favorite self proclaimed Ruler of Hueco Mundo. What can I do for you today, your Grace?"

"Shut it, Arnau. What are you doing attacking my Fracciones?" She asked. Her voice was soft, but even I could hear the threat in it.

"I would never attack your precious deer," he placated. "I was trying to remove a pest before it became an infestation."

"She's mine, the Soul Reaper. I'm sure Apacci informed you of this before you decided to try and kill my pet."

"You can't blame me for not believing her," his response sounded like an excuse if anything, and he stepped to the side so he could look around Halibel at me. "There's half a dozen Soul Reapers out in our desert, and that's just the ones that haven't suppressed themselves. Having one inside our walls is like a homing beacon for them, leading them to us."

"I'm aware." Her cool was unshakeable as she casually answered him. "I was counting on it."

He let out a snorting laugh. "What are you planning, marmoset?"

"It's none of your concern."

His gaze finally shifted away from me and to her. Suspicion shown on his features clear as day as he held what must have been a mighty stare from her. The air seemed thick with the tension between the two, but after a moment his expression dropped and he drew back a step. He bowed slightly, but I got the impression that it was more for show than actual respect. His eyes slid to me with some sort of knowing expression before he vanished in a gust of wind and a boom of sound.

A sigh eased out of me, and I stepped back from where I had been still touching my wall before I pushed power into my box and dissolved it into flecks of golden reishi. If Apacci's reaction to boxing myself in had been any indication, I was just going to piss Halibel off if I didn't come out for her.

I found it odd that I trusted them enough to not guard myself around them. I was still weary of them of course, but I didn't think any of the four women would stab me in the back. Well, maybe Apacci but I was pretty sure she'd enjoy watching my face if she did, rather than my back. Then again, Halibel wanted what I could offer, and her Fraccion all appeared to be extremely loyal to her. If anything, I figured that I could trust their loyalty. Ish.

"Did he do more than harass you?" Halibel asked as she turned, her eyes going beyond me to her Fracciones.

"Threats, as usual." I could hear the shrug in the Numeros' voice as her sand softened steps halted behind me.

"But he was bold enough to attack this time." Ocean blue eyes slid down to me and I let my shoulders slouch under her gaze. "You are unharmed?"

"I'm fine," I answered quickly as I moved to sheath my zanpakuto. Her hand lifted in a gesture that told me to stop, and I kept my hold on Tankyu no Unmei's hilt as the hand guard clicked against the metal rim of her sheath.

Her gaze never left me as she spoke, but she was clearly addressing the other woman. "Apacci, finish what you are doing here and return to the den. We should educate our Soul Reaper so she is prepared when he tries for her again."

"Alrighty," she answered.

Halibel nodded, her gaze still fixated on me. It was getting to the point of feeling awkward when she abruptly vanished. Her sonido was utterly silent, and I felt little more than a wisp of her spiritual pressure as she moved off to return to her tower.

Apacci let out a rough sigh just before her hand roughly clapped me on my back. "Hurry up so we can head home."

Home. Yeah, right.

Apacci made her urgency for me to finish with the building I had been rebuilding known. From hovering to making loud sighs and stomping around in irritation, there was no mistaking her intentions. She wanted to be done, but unless she wanted me useless for the rest of the day, I wasn't going to get these done much faster. If she had just stopped being so distracting, I probably would have been done sooner. As it was, the sun was getting ready to go down when I was done. I had to admit, it looked damn good when I was done. I had taken Yumichika's advice about how the buildings should look and had given it those stupid scalloped edges that he had been nagging me about a few weeks ago.

"About damn time," Apacci griped as she slapped my back again, this time catching my armor. I wanted to roll my eyes, but suppressed it as I released my zanpakuto and dropped my shikai. It was her command that I only keep Maebure no Shukufuku running for as long as I needed it. She didn't like the feeling of my spiritual pressure, apparently. I had wondered if it was because I felt like my ancestor, but I hadn't voiced that thought to her. She'd probably deny it and find another reason to hit me.

"Let's go," she said once my armor had dispersed and I had slouched with the loss of Tankyu no Unmei's power. She didn't wait for my response before she vanished and I had no choice but to follow her.

Moving across Los Noches felt a lot like running over the Seireitei. The land was just covered in ruins instead of buildings, dead trees and rocks instead of souls. Okay, it didn't feel anything like the Seireitei, but it was about the same size. Following Apacci with nothing more than her spiritual pressure to guide me allowed me the freedom to look around as we moved. There were so many buildings that has been destroyed. It wasn't like a city or anything, but rather dozens of towers and pillars that had crumbled into the sand. It looked like the remnants of a war.

It took several minutes of flash stepping to get back to Halibel's tower. It didn't feel like we had been going very fast, but with the sand looking mostly the same as we moved I couldn't really gauge our speed. When we finally arrived on the balcony to Halibel's den I was breathing hard, but trying to hide my puffing by giving the room and Apacci my back.

"Is using your zanpakuto so exhausting that you can't flash step without tiring?"

I didn't exactly jump at Halibel's voice, but I did startle. She sounded a lot like Tankyu no Unmei with her deeper, sultry voice, but she was clearly someone else.

"No," I answered before I sucked in a deep breath and forced myself to stop breathing hard as I turned to her. "I am just unaccustomed to the heat of Hueco Mundo."

"You looked exhausted, not overheated," she commented from where she was lounging at one of the dining tables in the room. The one she was at was the only one with chairs, which she made good use of by kicking her feet up on the cushions. Only the top half of her face was visible behind the high collar of her jacket top, but it was just as well. With her jaw and cheeks encased in her mask, it made little difference if it was bone or clothing hiding her features.

"Being a Soul Reaper, I regain my energy by consuming food," I said hesitantly. I didn't know how she would take to me telling her I was starving, but if they wanted me to function then they needed to know. "If my understanding of Hollows is adequate, you can feed off the residual reishi in the air. Unfortunately, that isn't enough for a Soul Reaper."

Halibel's gaze subtly shifted to Apacci who shrugged dismissively as she said, "we fed her this morning."

"Not enough, I'm sure," Halibel said softly as he ocean blue gaze slid back to me. "We will remedy that tomorrow morning. For now, come. Sit."

I glanced at Apacci but didn't hesitate as I moved forward and found one of the chairs across the circular table from her. The chair was pulled far enough out from the table that I didn't need to move it as I sat. Uncomfortably I placed my zanpakuto across my lap, using her to keep me from playing with my fingers as I gripped her hilt in both hands.

"How long have you been a Soul Reaper?" She asked.

"18 years," I answered without hesitation.

"So you weren't a Soul Reaper when we took on the 13 Court Guard squads. Did they teach you about our war in your academy?"

She knew about our Spiritual Art Academy? Kazui must have told her about it, because I couldn't imagine how else she would have known.

"Yes, some of it."

"Did they explain to you what the Privaron Espada are? How they differ from those of us who were made by the Hogyoku?"

"Privaron Espada?" I asked, not sure that I had heard her right. "I don't know what that means."

She nodded slowly as her gaze trailed down to the table. She lifted an arm and laid it across the wood, allowing her fingers to tap idly with soft, rhythmic pats. "Privaron Espada were who originally made up Hueco Mundo's ruling body. They were Arrancars who managed to tear off their masks without the aid of the the Hogyoku's power. They were the Espada of their time, but when Aizen came to Hueco Mundo he overthrew them and gave them all numbers to brand them."

"Even we who were brought into power by Aizen didn't know much of our history until recently. Isa, or Isabellia Vaccio, the woman who you freed from her prison, belongs to this group of individuals, but she also belongs to Grimmjow as his Fracciones. Through her, we at least understand where Arnau comes from. She has been alive longer than any other Arrancar we know of, and can speak of the war games that Arnau is trying to recreate."

She paused in her words when she noticed my confused expression, giving me an opportunity to ask the question I had been thinking.

"I understand that the man earlier was Arnau, but who is he?"

"Arnau is an Arrancar who is almost as old as Isa, but possesses a power that we don't know how to combat. He takes the power of others and uses it for himself like a vampire. He defeated Nelliel, stealing her power and with it the arm band that kept her in her adult body. He wants to start the war games of old, to make a new ruling body of Espada that will be able to challenge our enemies."

"To be able to challenge the Soul Society," I said slowly as I thought about her words. That would explain why his cero had broken through my box so easily. The reishi that my shikai actually created was infused with my spirit energy. If he could consume spirit energy that easily, he would be a threat to just about anyone.

She gave me one nod. "He doesn't want another Aizen or Ywach to overthrow us. I understand his position, but don't agree with it."

"This is why you want the Arrancar Squad 12 has. You need more people to stand with you against Arnau and his army."

"Yes." Her fingers stopped tapping on the table and her gaze met mine. "We have two Espada, one severely crippled Privaron Espada and a dozen Numeros remaining. We are powerful in our own rights, but faced against thousands of Adjuchas, dozens of Vasto Lordes and at least half a dozen Arrancar, we are at a severe disadvantage."

I nodded, but I didn't understand one thing. "Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Arnau has an extreme dislike for Soul Reapers," she said softly. "As long as you're in Hueco Mundo, you're not safe. He knows you are here now. We have kept him from taking any ground within Los Noches, but even within these walls you will be targeted by him and his people, and we cannot always be there to intervene."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked her.

Even though I couldn't see her actual frown, I could see it in her eyes. "We have made you helpless when not under the supervision of one of my Fraccion. We have separated you from your zanpakuto and isolated you when we were done using you. Yet, not once have you complained or tried to fight us. Why?"

My grip on my zanpakuto eased with her words. "I gave myself to you in exchange for my people. I gave my word that I would not act out against you, so unless I feel that I need in self-preservation, I will not."

She hummed with an unspoken thought before her fingers began to drum on the table again. "Your zanpakuto is broken. Why?"

I was a bit surprised by her question, but it was because I didn't know she had noticed my zanpakuto's blade. Or had Tankyu no Unmei been speaking to people when she was away from me? She had spoken to Toshiro when I wasn't around, so it was a possibility even though I had thought she was keeping herself concealed.

"I fought Grimmjow for control of his garganta," I answered softly. "My mind wasn't capable of harnessing such power, and as a result my mind would have broken had my zanpakuto not taken the blow in my place."

She nodded and sat up straight as her other arm went behind her. She seemed to stay there for a moment before she settled back and her zanpakuto was abruptly placed on the table. I blinked at it, taking in the hallowed blade that would have been far wider than any normal zanpakuto had it been solid all the way through.

"This is Tiburon," she said. "Our zanpakuto do not possess souls like I am told yours do. They house our true forms, much like your zanpakuto houses your armor and power."

I watched her for a moment before I decided that doing the same thing was probably the proper thing to do. Hesitantly I drew Tankyu no Unmei from her sheath and laid her across the table like she had done with her zanpakuto. "This is Tankyu no Unmei, the Seeker of Fate. Our zanpakuto are actually the other half of our soul, representing who we truly are in our purest form."

I started to release her hilt when I thought better of it and turned her so she was balanced on her blade and her hand guard to better show Halibel the gold filled cracks that laced across her metal. I licked my lips with nervous tension before I asked, "would you like to meet her?"

"Meet your zanpakuto? Am I not looking at it now?" She asked as one yellow-blonde eyebrow raised.

"She can physically manifest," I explained as I felt my zanpakuto stir as if she were stretching in our inner world.

'You are such a pain sometimes,' my zanpakuto sighed in my mind before I felt her manifest behind me. Halibel's gaze instantly lifted to my zanpakuto's standing form. If I wasn't mistaken about her expression, she was surprised to see whatever outfit she had chosen to wear today.

"She has a mask," she said with surprise. That's why she was surprised. I should have guessed.

"My masks change based off my Herald's name," Tankyu no Unmei said smoothly as she stepped around my chair to stand beside me. "Today, her name is she who dreams."

With her beside me I could keep Halibel in my peripheral vision as I glanced up at my zanpakuto. Finding her gaze intent on me, I looked over her appearance with wonder. I still didn't know how she came up with some of her outfits, but she had outdone herself again. I would have bet money that it was because of our audience, but my opinion mattered little as I looked up at her glimmering mask. She had gotten better at hiding the golden cracks that ran along the surface of her skin. Swirls of gold ran up her neck, jaw and cheeks to transition seamlessly into white mask that famed her eyes. The metal that extended from the top of her mask wove in similar patterns, but instead of looking like it was part of her skin it swirled into one piece that lined the top crest of her hair before it joined her shimada. Throughout her shimada swirls of gold were laced through her hair only for golden ornaments shaped like chrysanthemums to cascade in bundles of flowers down to her shoulders. Among the chrysanthemums I spotted my peony kanzashi, reminding me of just how much she had been mimicking me lately.

If she had been a person, I would have been worried about her neck snapping from the weight. Thankfully, she wasn't.

'If only you would dress like this, you wouldn't worry about silly things like the weight of being stunning.'

'I don't have an ego like you,' I replied as I met her teal gaze. In my head I had the impression of her rolling her eyes even though her physical form made no such action. I let out a soft sigh and let my gaze trail down to see the white and gold kimono she had donned. Gold cranes were stitched into the sleeves and at the bottom of the robe, while water like swirls of gold filled in the rest of the empty space. It was over the top like she normally did, but I hadn't seen her looking so elegant in days. It made it seem almost ridiculous, but it wasn't like I could complain. She Who Dreams was my name. With a name like that, she was almost required to be ridiculous.

Halibel clearly didn't know about our unspoken words as she asked, "Seeker of Fate. What does that mean?"

'Do you wish me to actually answer her?' my zanpakuto questioned in my mind.

'If it will make sure trust us more, then yes,' I answered. I heard her light laugh in my mind even though her physical expression didn't change. It was discomforting to see and hear two different things, but I couldn't' blame her. She was putting on a show for the Espada.

"Exactly what it says," my zanpakuto answered as her teal eyes slid to the Espada across the table. "Our power resides in the manipulation of reishi, as you have seen working to restore your kingdom. The other half of our power, the half that we will have one day but I only possess as of now, is in reading the path that all reishi takes. Or the future, if you wish to translate it that way. Where my Herald is concerned, I can see the events that are yet to come. Her names only stem from these events once they have become set in stone."

Halibel nodded slowly. "I see. Then tell me, what was her name the day she came to Hueco Mundo?"

"She Who Trades," my zanpakuto said easily.

"Are they always such literal names?"

"No," my zanpakuto answered. "They can be anything, but all over her names describe a prominent event that takes place on the given day."

"What is her name tomorrow?"

My zanpakuto smiled. "At this time, I could not tell you. Her name can change up until the day of. There is still so much that can happen in what remains of today that will change the happenings of tomorrow."

Halibel's eyes narrowed, but it looked like a thinking look rather than a glare. "What do you mean by She Who Dreams?"

My zanpakuto smiled. "I will not say."

Halibel's expression shifted, but I didn't know how to read it so I quickly said, "she doesn't tell me either. The names are my one hint for what the day has in store."

Halibel didn't seem to like that answer either, but she nodded in acceptance. "I am going to allow you to keep your zanpakuto with you, instead of having it removed from your presence when you are not being watched. I never promised to protect you while you were under my roof, but to not allow you to protect yourself will end up with you dead before you can finish your task of repairing Los Noches."

I nodded slowly, giving her a chance to say more. When she didn't, I licked my lips and said, "Thank you. Being apart from my zanpakuto is an incredibly uncomfortable sensation."

"I'm aware," she said as her hand lifted and closed over the hilt of her zanpakuto. Her expression was thoughtful for a moment before it dulled and her flat gaze shifted to Apacci, who I knew was still standing near the balcony. "See her to her room, then go find Isa's Adjucha. He will know who to speak to in the world of the living about whatever Soul Reapers need to consume."

"Aw man," she huffed. "Can't Mila Rose or Sung-sun do that? I don't like that fleabag."

"You like him," Halibel said with a sigh as she stood and returned her zanpakuto to it's sheath. "You just don't like that he's smarter than you."

"H-Halibel!" Apacci's surprised words went unnoticed by her Espada as she moved to leave the room. I watched her go until her back vanished around a door frame, then turned my gaze back to my zanpakuto. Her teal gaze met mine before she vanished, leaving a lingering impression of gold in my mind.

"Take care of her, Apacci," Halibel called from the other room.

"I swear," Apacci's grumbling words continued under her breath for several sentences. Hesitantly I picked Tankyu no Unmei up from the table and slid her back into her sheath before I moved to stand. When I turned to face her she stopped her grumbling and settled a flat glare on me. "You are one lucky as snot Reaper."

Right now it seemed like I was more unlucky than anything, but I didn't voice that thought.

She scoffed and turned to head for the hallway. I followed after her, and in silence she lead the way down to the room I had been keeping. As I entered, she slammed the door behind me so hard that I felt the floor quake under my feet. It made me smile a little as I looked down at my zanpakuto. She clearly didn't agree with Halibel's decision, but I couldn't have been more relieved.

"I feel the same."

I turned to see my zanpakuto sitting on the bed. The golden ornaments in her shingon glowed in the growing darkness of the room, giving off enough light to bask her and most of the bed in the soft glow. I flashed her a small smile before I stepped to the bed to sit beside her.

"You should change," she said as her hand ran down my arm, raising gooseflesh where she touched.

"They put me in this," I said as I pulled at the top of the boots. "I think it belonged to one of the Numeros that died twenty years ago. Taking it off would just disgrace the fact that they gave me their fallen comrade's things."

"Do you really think they are that sentimental?" Her asking questions was like a joke and she knew it as she let out a soft laugh and turned to face me. Her hand lifted to my face and she brushed my lose hair back, running her fingers all the way to my chingon before I felt the pins of my kanzashi pull free. She held it up, showing me in the glowing light how smashed it was. Apacci had almost crushed it when she had taken hold of my chingon on the first night. Without the free use of my zanpakuto I had been forced to try and bend the metal back into shape with my hands. I didn't need to say it. It was clear that I had done a poor job of putting it back into shape.

My zanpakuto twirled the kanzashi between her fingers, holding it so it was breaking the line of sight between us. "You are sentimental. Soul Reapers have family, history, traditions. Hollows have nothing like that. Giving you the clothes of a fallen comrade isn't sharing a piece of memory. To them, it's giving you something that has no use to them."

She stopped twirling the kanzashi and I watched as she began reshaping the petals of the peonies. I smiled as the gemstones recentered themselves in the flowers, the leaves became textured instead of lined with creases and the pins became perfectly straight. It always amazed me how she could do things with our shikai when it wasn't running. They were only little things, like changing her outfit or manipulating something small, but it was still shocking. She had far more finesse than I did when using her power. It was to be expected, but still. I had a long way to go before I could do things like she could.

"Don't think like a Soul Reaper when dealing with them. Imagine yourself as one of them before you decide to form an opinion."

I gave her a look that said, "really?" before I snatched my kanzashi from her hand. Her chiding laughter rang through my head as she vanished, basking the room in darkness when the glow of her golden ornaments vanished. Unlike the last two nights, it was a comfortable darkness. I wasn't alone because I had Tankyu no Unmei with me.

That thought alone made me relax. I let myself fall back on the bed, and rolled onto my side. I wrapped my legs around my zanpakuto, bringing her into my arms so her hilt and hand guard were pressed snuggly to my chest. Once I was settled, I fingered my kanzashi as I held it in my hand. I curled tighter into myself and pressed the metal to my lips as I recalled the day he had given it to me. A pang of longing ran through me as I recalled his familiar touch. His arms holding me, his body as it spooned against mine when I laid like this with him at my back.

I… I wanted to see him.

Just thinking about Toshiro allowed me to sense the piece of me that was within him. Just like Halibel's Fraccion had said the other day, he was so far away that he was no more than a glimmer in the back of my mind. I had to wonder if he was still irritated with me and if he even realized what I had done. Had he seen Grimmjow before the Kisuke's doorway had been broken? I had met his gaze before the senkaimon like door had been broken. He had been looking at me, but maybe he already knew?

I let out a long sigh and closed my eyes. Would Halibel and her Fraccion care if used my shikai? Halibel had said it was so I could protect myself, but they wouldn't know what I was using her for unless they came. There was only one way to find out...

Murmuring the release command for my shikai under my breath, I fought to keep my spiritual pressure quiet as my armor formed and shifted me on the bed. I was exhausted from everything I had done today, which was evident by how little effort I had to put into keeping myself dulled. It made me wonder if I would fall asleep as I sent myself searching, but I pushed the thought away and set my mind's eye seeking.

Focusing on the feeling of Toshiro's spiritual pressure so far away, I aimed myself towards him. I had always traveled as if I was on foot, walking down the path that I set myself on. This time I changed that. I sent myself through the wall, finding the physical barrier of reishi to be nothing but a tickle against my mind's eye. Moving through the air as if flying, I passed through the wall that encased Las Noches and sent myself across the desert. Following the feeling of Toshiro was much like holding the end of a string in the dark and following it, knowing that the end would lead to an exit despite being unable to see it.

It felt like an hour of moving over endless desert before I finally found them. I was exhausted from expending so much energy, but it had occurred to me too late to use my armor. When Toshiro had been teaching me, the only way I could search like this was with my armor to keep my mind's eye attached to. When my bond had been broken and repaired by my zanpakuto, it had brought us close enough that I hadn't felt the need to do many of the things I used to be required to.

Despite feeling the strain, I had kept going and had been relieved when I was finally close enough to see the flicker of his spiritual pressure in my mind. I took a moment to collect myself atop a dune of sand that had to have been several stories tall. The height allowed me a clear view of a patch of dead trees that sat in the valley created by this and another dune on the other side of it.

Relief eased through me as I actually saw the color of several different spiritual pressures. Two were settled in the trees at the bottom, but as I watched several others seemed to flare out from the central location. There seemed to be more people than had come to Hueco Mundo in our group, but I was still a good distance off and my mind was tired. I was probably just not seeing things right. Or, I thought I wasn't until a beam of light shot from the top of the other dune down to the trees. An explosion erupted beside the tiny area of shelter, then another beam returned fire and part of the dune gave way in a wash of cascading sand.

An arc of lightning rose from where the trees had been, resulting in another explosion. It had to be kido of some sort. A large barrier rose abruptly from the trees, just before a volley of what had to be ceros collided with it.

It was a battle, but I didn't understand with who we were fighting. Halibel's words rang through my mind and I had a moment of clarity. Arnau's army. They were fighting the Espada's enemy and they probably didn't even know it. Now that I knew what was going on, everything that Halibel and Grimmjow had done made sense. It didn't make it right, but I needed to tell them. They didn't know who they were fighting, and what it meant.

I felt my zanpakuto stir in the back of my mind before her soft voice murmured, 'don't get hit.'

I thoughtlessly agreed with her, knowing that in my weakened state the smallest disturbance would probably knock me from my mind's eye and back to my body. Knowing the risk, I sent myself seeking Toshiro's spiritual pressure with one purpose in mind. He needed to know what was happening before they got to Los Noches. I didn't have the reserves to keep myself here until their fight was over. I needed to tell him now, before I was forced to return to my body.

As I moved closer to the battle between the Captains and Arrancar, I began to be distinguish the colors into people. Captain Hirako was first to hit my radar, and in passing I focused on him as he stood facing an unfamiliar female Arrancar. They appeared to be talking, but it wasn't a friendly chat. I recognized his posture as being lackadaisical in appearance, but I had seen him in that stance just before violence ensued. The woman seemed annoyed, but her face was mostly covered by her mask making me unsure.

Two bodies shot past me as I moved, and I spared a moment to recognize Captain Zaraki's gleeful chuckle as he clashed with another Arrancar.

"I knew coming to this shit hole was going to be worth my time!" He shouted as his zanpakuto clashed with the Arrancars. The man looked like he was being beaten back, but he kept meeting the Squad 11 Captain blow for blow as they ran across the sand.

"You're are enjoying yourself way too much," Captain Hirako mumbled, his voice barely audible even to me as the boom of a cero filled the air just before the light shot past me and into the sky.

"You just don't know what real fun looks like!"

I turned away from them as they continued in their fighting. As interesting as their banter was, they weren't who I was looking for.

With that thought, I finally found him. Toshiro was standing over Captain Kotetsu, acting as her guard as she nursed a bloody wound on her leg. His back was to her, his gaze keeping watch on the fights taking place just beyond them. It allowed me to see his watchful expression as I approached. Hyorinmaru had been released allowing the chain extending from the hilt to drag on the ground as he turned to watch Captain Hirako for a moment, then turned to glance over at another fight.

"You may join them, Toshiro," Captain Kotetsu said through clenched teeth. "I am not completely defenseless when I am using my shikai. I used it for combat before I ever started healing with it, you know."

"If we lose you now, we will lose any advantage we might have when we get to Los Noches," he explained as his gaze continued to watchfully roam.

She let out a small laugh that sounded bitter with pain. "With two substitute Soul Reapers, one of the Espada and three captains, I doubt you need to worry about advantages."

"We had no idea their numbers had increased, let alone to this extent," he said slowly. His gaze crossed the space that my mind's eye was occupying and hesitated. His gaze narrowed like he was trying to focus on a spot far beyond me. Did he feel me? He had always known where my mind's eye was in the World of the Living, but I had been using my armor then. Without my armor I didn't know if he was feeling my body back in Los Noches, or my mind's eye here. "We will need everyone if we want to rescue our squad members."

"They are in Halibel's hands. They will be fine until we get there, but its not them you're worried about. Its Yamamoto."

He turned to her then, straightening his posture as he gave her a flat glare. The look only made her smile and turn her gaze down to her leg. She had released her shikai which was evident by the three bladed zanpakuto held in her hand, but she didn't appear to be using it to heal. I had never seen her actually use it, but she had to be holding it in its released state for a reason.

"Even I can feel her spiritual pressure from here," she said, trying to sound encouraging. I hesitated at her words. If she could feel me, the Arrancar surely could as well. I had been using my shikai for a good while now, but I hadn't been disturbed. I had Halibel's blessing to use it, but knowing how loud I must have been I swallowed back my spiritual pressure to dull it.

Both of them lifted their heads when my spiritual pressure dropped, but Toshiro's gaze went to the space my mind's eye was occupying while Captain Kotetsu's must have gone to the direction of my body.

"Ria?" He asked in a soft but surprised tone. He could feel my mind's eye, but Captain Kotetsu couldn't. Was it because of the piece of him in my inner world?

I shook the question from my mind as I turned my attention to the sand beneath me. I knew I didn't have the energy to turn it into my armor's reishi, but I pulled at the sand anyway and lifted it to give my mind's eye a physical presence. I was struggling to give myself a humanesque figure, but once I had my general shape outlined I stopped. That was enough for them to be able to see me, and that was all I needed.

Toshiro snapped from his surprise and moved toward me. I thought at first that he was going to try and capture my sandy outline in his arms, but he didn't and instead moved around me, putting his body between the fighting and my mind's eye. I was grateful. If he had touched me, I wasn't sure that I could have maintained my hold on the sand. Traveling so far in my state of near exhaustion was wearing on me. Maybe he could tell?

Toshiro looked like he had a million things he wanted to say. My form was only sketched in sand, but still he was looking at me like he was meeting my eyes. Concern was clear in his expression, and as his lips worked to form words I saw all the things he wanted to say and didn't, go through his eyes. If my emotions hadn't been shoved in a mental box somewhere I was sure I wouldn't have been just standing there, waiting for him to say something first.

"Ria," he said again, like he had to convince himself that it was actually me. I smiled, but it was only a sensation of doing it. He hadn't seen my expression, which was clear by his lack of reaction. I would have to do more for it to translate to him.

Hesitantly I lifted my hand, forcing it to become a solid presence. My transfer of focus made the sand that had given my arm outline fall away with my efforts, leaving it invisible as I pressed my hand to his chest over my reishi that resided there. His expression softened into a look that was meant just for me and his hand came up to close over mine, holding it in what would have been a painfully tight grip had it actually been my hand.

"Is that actually her?" Captain Kotetsu asked. Toshiro's expression dropped into his irritated mask when he remembered that she could see him through my sandy outline.

"Yes," he answered as his gaze focused on her through me for a moment, then returned to lock on me. "Are you in Los Noches?"

In my head I was nodding, but I quickly realized that the motion hadn't translated to the outline I had created. I must have been more tired than I thought. I tried talking, but even as I realized I wasn't making any noise either my zanpakuto's chiming laugh rang through my mind.

'You're trying too hard,' she mused. Clearly, she was making fun of me. Before my thoughts could reach her she answered me. 'Make it simple. Control one thing and forget about the rest.'

If I could have frowned at her, I would have. What was more simple than nodding my head?

'Drawing,' she let out a soft sigh. 'I swear you don't think sometimes. You are standing on a canvas the size of the world. Use it, Herald.'

Oh.

The sand.

I turned my attention to the ground and started to pull away from Toshiro, but his grip on my hand made me hesitate. I could have pulled away by releasing my hold on my solid form, but the feeling of him actually touching me after days apart, even if it wasn't my actual body, was something that I just couldn't give up.

Leaving my hand on his chest, I turned the rest of my body towards my left and looked down. I didn't think my head motion translated into my outline, but his gaze went to the ground to watch as I wrote in the sand, 'yes'. The letters were crooked and spaced unevenly, but once I knew he had read them I wiped the letters away with a thought.

"Are you alright?" He asked. I knew he wouldn't like it, but I wrote my default answer in the sand because it was shorter than what I actually wanted to say.

'Fine.'

"Are you sure?"

I hesitated for a moment before I wiped the sand clean and wrote the truth. 'Prisoner.'

"Grimmjow's?" He asked, the inflection of his voice darkening with anger.

'No.'

"So, Halibel's."

His words hadn't been a question, but I answered him with a yes anyway.

"How are the others?" His words were slightly hesitant, but I was certain that only I had noticed. He was good at hiding his reactions, but I knew what he really wanted to ask.

'Home.'

"Home? You mean they escaped?"

'No.'

He hesitated for a moment, then asked,"They were released?"

As I was wiping away my previous answer, I stopped mid swipe. Would he be angry with me again if I told him? I didn't want him to be. I wanted him to just accept it, and not to get himself worked up over my position in Halibel's household. He wasn't going to like it, but he had known that I would end up here in Hueco Mundo somehow. He knew that one way or another, I ended up alone with Grimmjow.

'4:1'.

He was quiet when he read my message, and I felt his muscles under my hand go stiff with tension. "You traded yourself."

I wiped the sand clean, but didn't answer him. He quickly realized that I wasn't going to write anything and his spiritual pressure rose, making ice crystals join the sand at our feet.

"You traded yourself."

There was so much I wanted to say in that moment, but I couldn't bring myself to write something to answer him. He was angry. I could tell by the stiff glare he was giving the sand as he waited only a moment for me to respond.

"Why?" He asked sharply.

I only had one answer for him, and I wrote it before I could think better of it.

'Momo.'

"Goddamnit, Ria," he swore harshly as he stepped closer to me. "What were you thinking? Putting yourself in harms way is the last thing you should have been doing. And for Momo? Why? Why would you go this far to-"

He stopped himself when he saw the rest of what I had written in the sand.

'To you, losing Momo would be more painful than losing me.'

He let out a sigh that had his shoulders slouching. His eyes slid closed as his lips pured in an expression that I had never seen him make before.

"No," he whispered. As his eyes slowly opened he looked at where mine would have been with such intensity that I might have tried to step back had I been in my body. "You're wrong, Ria. So wrong."

A booming explosion rocked the air around us with the force as sand erupted less than twenty feet from us before another exploded just beside us. The force of it made me lose my grip on the sand that outlined me and it all fell like dust to the ground. I was to weak too recover from the jarring explosion. It made my hold on my mind's eye slip and even as I struggled to take it back, it kept slipping through my control. I was going to be slammed back into my body. I knew it would happen, and yet I kept trying to hold on.

"You alright, Toshiro?" The voice belonged to Ichigo, but I didn't see him as I struggled to maintain my solid hand that was still clasped in Toshiro's grip. It was the only thing that hadn't faded with my loss of control and I was certain that it had something to do with his power within me as I had the sudden sensation of a chill running through my mind's eye.

"Ria," Toshiro's voice was urgent, like he could feel my struggle and knew what was happening. "These aren't Arrancar from Aizen's time. They don't ring with the same power as the Espada. Do you know what is going on?"

I could feel myself slipping away as I looked up to Toshiro for what might have ended up being the last time. I had to tell him before I lost my hold. They needed to know that Halibel wasn't the one responsible for their current combat. Slowly I shifted my attention to the sand and in shaky writing scrawled, 'civil war.'

I don't know if he saw it, because his eyes were on me as my hand lost its solid presence and I became aware of my body back in Los Noches. Like a whisper of silence I slipped away, unsure if his voice had been a dream or real as his words echoed through my mind and the darkness of unconsciousness took me.

"We're coming for you, Ria. I promise. I will not leave you to suffer alone."


	21. She Who is Hunted

Today's name was probably the first and only name I would ever figure out on my own. After yesterday's events it was clear who was going to be after me. I didn't even have to think about it. Arnau or someone from his small army. I supposed I should have thanked my zanpakuto for making my name obvious today-

'You're welcome,' she said lightly in my mind. 'I was debating between she who is hunted, and she who finally gorges herself.'

I rolled my eyes and popped a chunk of a rice ball in my mouth. Halibel had made good on her word to actually feed me, which was a bit of a surprise. It wasn't so much the food that was a surprise, but rather what type of food it was. She clearly had connections with someone who could go to the Soul Society, because I couldn't imagine finding rice balls, octopus sausages and eggs that were made of reishi in the world of the living.

Unless they had gone to Kisuke's shop, which wouldn't have been a huge surprise. Grimmjow had found his way into his underground training area without having to break in. Considering the former Soul Reaper's position, it was easy to believe that he had some sort of an alliance with the Espada. He had seemed so familiar with Grimmjow, like he had been ordering him around for years.

Maybe he had been?

I shook my head as I finished the rice ball. My zanpakuto had retrieved my mind's eye after I had fallen unconscious last night. I didn't know she could do that, but I was thankful. I had woken to my body being well rested while my mind was still exhausted, but I was sure that consuming a decent amount of food for the first time in days would fix that.

"Why do you Soul Reapers bother eating like that if it takes so much damn time?" Apacci, my least favorite escort asked with a huff. She was sitting across the table with her chin propped on her closed fist in an impatient gesture.

"We have to consume food just like the living do," I answered her. "Souls without any spirit energy don't need to consume food like Soul Reapers."

"It's way easier to just take in the reishi around you than to waste time eating," she grumped.

I lifted a brow at her as curiosity edged my thoughts. Hesitantly I skewered one of the sausages with my chopstick and held it up thoughtfully. I thought about that sausage and how much I wanted to eat it myself before I held it out to her, the sausaged end of my chopstick pointing towards her. "Eating is enjoyable. Tasting things is fun, especially when they taste good. My sister likes to decorate pastries, you see. When I go to visit her, sampling her creations is always one of my favorite things to do. Sometimes they were sweet, sometimes sour or tart. It's always a pleasant surprise to taste something new."

Apacci clearly wasn't amused.

"You're talking to the wrong person," Sung-sun's soft voice said as she walked up behind Apacci and leaned around her to snatch the sausage from my chopstick. She hummed in satisfaction as she popped it in her mouth. "Apacci might as well be allergic to Soul Reapers. She'll never take something that you offer her. Your charms are better directed toward Mila Rose and I."

"Hey! I am not allergic to Reapers!"

Sung-sun laughed as she strode away, drawing Apacci's continued protests as she turned in her chair. I shook my head and turned my attention back to my food. I had been here for a few days now and was finally grasping the chemistry between the three women who were constantly guarding me. They were always at war with one another, but none of it was ever serious.

"Are you done?" Mila Rose asked as the argument continued between Sung-Sun and Apacci. I turned to look at her as I popped the last bite of my rice ball in my mouth and nodded. "Good. We want you to finish the dome today."

"A-Alright," I said as I quickly turned to the remnants of my meal and stacked them onto the main tray. I made quick work of removing myself from the table I had been sitting at and finding the trash bin that was in the corner of the room. Mila Rose was waiting for me at the hallway, and as I made my way to her she turned to start walking.

I followed her out of the building, keeping my words to myself even though I wanted to ask her questions. It wasn't my place to be asking questions, I had to remind myself. I had done pretty good so far to keep on good terms with two of the three women. Apacci would probably never think any differently of me.

"When you repaired part of the dome before, you were in one of the few towers that were left standing. Do you need to be that close to the dome again, or will you be able to do this on the ground?" Mila Rose asked as she glanced back at me.

"Distance only makes me unable to defend myself while I work," I said slowly as I glanced around. We were headed towards one of the larger buildings in Los Noches. It looked to have been a palace at one time, but now it stood more like a great mass of ruins.

Mila Rose must have seen my gaze wandering away from her because she turned back to where we were going and nodded at it. "That was Aizen's palace. It's build over the top of the real power behind Los Noches. I don't know much about why this spot is so important, but Arnau and his people do. When we lost Isabellia we lost the knowledge that she possessed. Hopefully she will recover quickly so we can get this damned war over with."

I nodded in understanding. Isa, the woman Grimmjow had me remove from that rock, was what they had been waiting for. It wasn't just for personal gain that Grimmjow that had been trying to free her, but to benefit everyone here. Or maybe it was just for himself. I clearly didn't know the Espada well enough to be guessing at that sort of thing, but the pieces were slowly clicking into place.

"Halibel made it clear that you are my escort, but not my protector," I said slowly as my hand rested on my zanpakuto idly. It was nice being allowed to freely carry her with me. "I would like to request to work from a location where we will have some sort of warning or time to react if we are attacked. When I have to take my attention far away, I literally leave my body behind."

"Let's go inside the palace then," she said, her gaze lifting. "The only entrance to the main room is through the roof. The hallways have all collapsed over time. I can stand up there and be a lookout while you work."

"Alright."

Mila Rose vanished at the same time that I took off in my flash step. I tracked her spiritual pressure as she moved and followed closely, keeping my senses open just in case. The palace was a large building that looked like had been plucked from the center of Squad 1's compound. It was all white and smooth angles with a dome shaped roof on each of the tall columns. In several places the wall had cracked or completely fallen in to reveal the darkness within. I had the sense that this place had been utterly abandoned for some time. Unlike the tower that Halibel and her Fracciones lived in, this felt cold and almost foreboding. People may have come here, but it wasn't inhabited.

I saw Mila Rose appear on the edge of the broken dome leading into the largest part of the palace. Assuming this was where she meant to go I darted inside to land on a large raised platform that had a throne like chair settled right in the center of it. I stared at that chair for a long moment, wondering if this had been Aizen's seat of power. It probably had been, but as I looked around the room that was dark with the lack of light, a sense of wonder overcame me.

This was where Aizen had ruled Hueco Mundo from twenty years ago, before he had invaded the Soul Society. The thrill of it sent a shock down to my toes. This was a piece of history that I was repairing. Normally I just repaired things that were functional or had a purpose. This was neither, and knowing what had happened here both frightened me and filled me with awe. Ichigo had been here. His wife too. And the Quincy that had followed Aizen's path.

Wow…

Smiling to myself I took hold of my zanpakuto's hilt. "Maebure no Shukufuku, Tankyu no Unmei."

As my armor formed around me I moved around the throne and sat on the ground behind it. I leaned back, settling against the stone in a position that I knew I wouldn't fall over in. They wanted me to repair the entire dome. I could do it. I had actually eaten a decent meal, and after seeing Toshiro in my mind's eye I had slept like the dead until late in the morning when Apacci had come to fetch me. Sure my mind was a bit haggard, but otherwise I was well rested and energized. Even knowing this I also knew the dome was a massive thing. I had repaired a good chunk of it when I had been trying to impress Halibel, but I intended to go one step further than just restoring it.

I wasn't the greatest at performing kido. Sure, I could do the basic spells and barriers, but I couldn't replicate the kido that must have covered the surface. At one time they must have had the same sort of spell that Kisuke had in his underground training area. Unfortunately, I had no idea what that was let alone the skill to do it. So, I was going to go one step further and turn the entire dome into the same material as my armor. Clear like glass but strong as metal, it would be better than the stone dome that had once covered their sky.

Heaving in one large breath I pulled a box from the reishi around me and sealed it around the throne and myself before I slipped entirely into my mind's eye and set myself to work. Time flew by as I worked to repair the massive dome. Just like I had been doing for the past few days, I raised the fallen pieces of the dome from the ground, dissolving them into particles of reishi before I took them to the sky to reassemble them. It was time consuming, but the best way I could manage the massive project.

There was one good thing that did come from the work I was doing now. Halibel had warned me about the potential of being targeted. Arnau didn't like Soul Reapers. He would come from me, but with my mind's eye so spread across the area and my senses so engrossed in the reishi I was working, it was like I could feel every inch of Los Noches. Suppressed or not, no one was getting close to us without my knowing.

As the day wore on I found myself getting closer and closer to completing the dome, until finally my efforts found an end. The dome that spread over Los Noches sealed together with the final piece of reishi, shadowing the entire interior in darkness. In my mind's eye I could see everything through the reishi, but Mila Rose must have been completely blind. The dome was several feet thick and made of solid stone. It was one of the largest things I had ever worked, but amazingly I had done it. Knowing just how much of an accomplishment this was I stopped for several moments to admire my work. Being so involved in my mind's eye I couldn't really feel the sense of accomplishment that I knew I should have been, but that was okay. I could feel things later once I was able to relax.

Withdrawing my mind's eye to the palace I kept my sense of self near Mila Rose as I turned my attention to the center of the dome. I took hold of the reishi above and pushed at it, changing the material to become the same as my armor. Golden filaments of my reiatsu flowed through the stone, spreading out in an erratic display of light just before the stone shifted and became clear. I could feel the strain this was putting on my spirit energy, but I didn't let it stop me. Making my armor was easy in small quantities, but this was like converting a million plates of armor in quick succession.

This would be by far the strongest barrier I had ever created with my zanpakuto. Most of my boxes were an inch thick at most, and only thicker when they absolutely had to be. This dome on the other hand was several feet thick. Other than the golden glow of my reiatsu, it looked like nothing was happening for several long moments. Then, a small shaft of light pierced through the darkness. It was quickly followed by another, and another and more that grew and molded into one spreading ring of light. The ring grew as I converted the stone into clear reishi, but as it grew it progressed slower and slower with the growing project. Once the diameter of the space was too big, I moved onto another section to do the same thing. It was like watching rain drops hitting water as spots grew across the dome and merged with one another. To me it was a simple process to complete, but in the back of my mind I knew that what I was doing was a stunning display of power and beauty as the orange and gold glow of the setting sun filtered in across Los Noches.

When I was finally done working the sun had dipped below the high walls of Los Noches, turning the interior into its own sort of twilight. My mind's eye retreated to my body, and I settled in like I was sitting in my favorite chair. I had been in my mind's eye for too long and exerted too much of my spirit energy, but I had finished the task that I needed to. Maybe Halibel would allow me a day off in pity for my exhausted state. I didn't think she actually would, but as I became aware of my stiff body again I silently wished for it.

Blinking open my eyes I stared at the darkness that surrounded me. It was awfully dark inside this palace. Maybe I could offer to fix this place up next? Shaking my head I pushed power into my armor to make it glow and moved go stand. Just as I was stiffly getting to my feet I stopped and blinked at the walls of my box, then at the floor. Several inches of sand covered the floor of my box, forcing me to step up and on top of it to get my feet out of it. I rested my hand on the wall of my box and looked around in surprise. Had there been sand in here before? I had remembered it been clean, but as my gaze drifted up to the walls my breath caught.

I was surrounded by sand. No, surrounded wasn't accurate. My box was completely engulfed in sand and somehow it had gotten inside. Yellowish white covered every inch of the outside of my box. I tried to take hold of the sand with my mind's eye, but it seemed to elude me. It was made of reishi, but something was keeping me from controlling it. It was like a presence that felt odd in my head. Almost like it had felt to fight Grimmjow for his garganta, but I had absolutely no hold on the sand.

Like the garganta…

The sand was being controlled by someone else. How hadn't I noticed it? How had it gotten inside my barrier?

I looked to the throne, searching with my eyes then my mind's eye. There, a hole in the base. Sand was oozing up from it, slowly filling my box. Sand didn't move like that, and with a slight start I realized that it had to be a Hollow of some sort coming for me.

Swearing softly I pushed at my box, willing it to move around me like my shield. But, it didn't budge. I frowned at the clear walls and traced my hand along the clear surface. The grains of sand moved, a trail of them following my fingertips like they were magnetized to me.

I frowned harder and silently wished I had completely sealed by box when I had made it. I had left it bottomless when I'd created it to accommodate for the throne. I hadn't thought it would leave me vulnerable at the time. Stupid, stupid me.

She Who is Hunted.

I should have taken more care to protect myself, but now wasn't the time to worry about what I should have done. Doing my best to keep my spiritual pressure from spiking, I took hold of my box again and drew it closer to me as I shrank it. I tried to push the sand out as I worked, but only ended up with more sliding in as I made a bottom and let the throne disappear into the sand. It couldn't be helped. I had no idea how much sand surrounded me, but I would have to work my way through it.

A deep, rumbling laugh shook the sand around me, rocking my box with the vibration. I looked up like I would see something besides sand, and was surprised to see a giant white mask almost pressed to my box. I took a few steps back so I could see most of the mask at one time, but ran into my wall and had to stop.

"You're not much of a threat, tiny Soul Reaper," it said. Where it's mouth was I couldn't tell. The mask didn't move like it was his face. There were no eyes behind it either. Other than the mask, it wasn't much of a face at all.

"Then why are you surrounding me?" I asked, my voice sounding confident when really I wasn't.

"Our Master wants you dead, and I haven't tasted Soul Reaper in ages." The mask loomed closed and pressed into my box. The box groaned with the pressure he was putting on the side and began to tilt until it was at a steep angle, making me slide back until I was holding myself off the wall with an arm. "I'd very much like to taste one again."

What was it with Hollows wanting to eat Soul Reapers? And it just had to be me every time?

It didn't matter. I wasn't as weak as I had been before. I knew how to protect myself, and even if I had never fought a giant sand monster before I would think of something. He was made of reishi just like anyone else.

Then again, I had just finished rebuilding the largest structure I had ever done before. I glanced down at my zanpakuto, turning her blade so I could see the gold that filled the cracks in her metal. If I pushed too hard-

'Your name is she who is hunted, not she who breaks,' my zanpakuto chided.

'That doesn't mean it's not one of the other possible names for today,' I replied hotly. Breaking her again was the last thing I wanted to do. Just as I started to formulate a plan of action in my head, I felt her stir in the back of my mind. The metal of my handguard shifted with her will, warping to conform tighter to my hand and then to her hilt. I watched what she was doing for a moment before I realized she was making it so I couldn't release her. Someone would have to peel my armor from my body or cut through it to seperate us.

'This won't change your fate,' she told me before I could ask. 'It will just make the coming events occur smoothly.'

I nodded, though the Hollow outside my box didn't know that I had made the gesture for my zanpakuto.

"Have you decided? Will you just give up, or will you actually try to fight me?" The Hollow mused as my box shifted again. I held myself where I was with my mind's eye instead of sliding into the corner that he wanted. Sand cascaded from on side of the box to the other, but I barely noticed it.

"You'll have to find another Soul Reaper to eat," I said slowly as I flushed power into the box around me.

The Hollow's mask shifted, tilting in a way that it made me think it was giving me a sinister grin before sand swirled and it was gone. I frowned at the wall, but quickly wiped my expression clean as I slipped into my mind's eye and stretched my senses out to find something I could draw reishi from. There was only a few feet between the stone floor and my box so I pushed power into the stone. This giant Hollow must have only been able to control sand because the stone gave easily under my manipulations and turned into pure reishi.

I pulled at the reishi, but frowned when it didn't really budge. I tried again, this time putting more umph into it, but still it didn't budge. I tried reaching out to the walls and ceiling, only to find that I could indeed manipulate them, but I couldn't pull anything through the Hollow to aid me. I thought about Mila Rose and tired to reach out to her, but she wasn't was perched on the roof like she had been. Distantly I could feel her, but she must have been fighting someone else because she wasn't close and her spiritual pressure was spiking as if she were combat.

Damn it.

This Hollow was made of sand and he had made himself so dense with it that I couldn't pull anything through him. I should have pulled more to me before he separated my box from the structure, but it hadn't even occurred to me that this was possible. Was it because I had exerted so much energy repairing the dome? Was I too weak now to fight this thing?

The Hollow's booming laugh shook my box, making the walls groan with the shifting pressure of it. I pulled myself back to my body and glanced around at the walls. A spider web of cracks abruptly shot through one wall, and I quickly reacted to repair it. He was trying to crush my box. I could feel the walls bowing in with the weight of him. That wasn't good.

I pulled the box in just a bit more so I could strengthen the walls with the reishi I already had. I could keep myself safe in this box so long as I could keep the walls from breaking. I just wouldn't be able to get myself out of this Hollow.

Something tickled my thigh just above the edge of the boots I wore. I ignored it for a moment, but when the tickle seemed to move higher I actually looked down. The sand that had been in my box wasn't lying on the ground like it should have been. Instead it was wrapped around my legs from my thighs down and slowly trailing higher like it was subtly growing over me.

I startled at the realization that the Hollow was controlling the sand that I had been ignoring and tried to kick my way out of it. The sand clung to my body like glue. I pushed at it with my mind's eye, trying to manipulate it like I did items in the world of the living and taking a plate of armor to shove at it with what I was already controlling. I was able to scrape off a long line of it, but the rest swarmed. It must have know that I had realized what it was doing.

A small note of panic slipped through my mind, but it took me a moment to realize it was my own and not my zanpakuto's. I tried to push it back as I pulled more reishi from the thigh plates of my armor, but it kept climbing. It felt like it was starting to tear at my skin, like every little piece was a shard of glass that irritated my skin first, then started to cut into me.

This wasn't working. The sand was so small and I couldn't actually control it. And these stupid clothes didn't offer any sort of protection. I should have asked for my clothes back when my zanpakuto had brought it up. Stupid me. She's always giving me hints and I just don't catch them!

A metallic crack rang and I looked up just to see more sand pouring in through a massive crack in my walls. I hesitated for a moment as I considered my options. I had never been trapped like this before. Normally I put myself in a box to protect myself, but now it was being used like a prison. A slowly breaking prison. I had to get out from the belly of this Hollow. That was the only way. But, how?

In my moment of hesitated the sand welled in, making the crack in my wall bigger with its pressure. I was up to my waist in sand by the time I thought to close it, but I knew it didn't matter. I gripped my zanpakuto tighter and decided on a course of action. Lifting my free hand I thought of the kido I wanted to use as I thinned the ceiling of my box out.

"Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, march on to the south! Kido no. 31, shakkaho!"

The ceiling of my box broke away just as the red ball of crackling energy released from my palm. As soon as I released it I covered my face with my arm to protect it as the explosion went of only a few feet above me. I felt the shockwave the rippled through the body of sand, and knew this was my chance. Tucking my head down I protected myself as best I could with both arms and shoved off the bottom of my box in a flash step. Sand ran over my body, grating into my exposed skin as it tried to pull me back. I kept going despite its efforts. My speed was too great for it to stop me, and the shock of the shakkaho was still cascading through its body. I could do this.

Air suddenly replaced the sand as I broke through the surface of the Hollow's sand. I gasped in a breath of the rest air and pulled my arms away from protecting my face and head so I could turn and look around.

I had stopped in mid air to see I was still in the main room of Aizen's palace. The sand below was writhing like a beast lurked underneath its surface. I had hurt the Hollow with my kido spell, but there was no telling what I had actually done. He was made of sand and here in Hueco Mundo, there was no end to the supply of it.

Something pricked at the edge of my senses and I turned so I could gaze in it's direction. Someone familiar was coming, but I wasn't willing to focus on it enough to tell who it was. I wasn't safe yet. I needed to get somewhere-

Something big and solid slammed into my back, slapping me down into the sand like I was a fly. My breath was knocked from my lungs on impact and I gasped on instinct only to find sand filling my mouth and nose. I tried to pull back and spit it out, but in the same moment I was crushed as a wall of sand slammed down on me.

Sand was everywhere. I couldn't breathe. The tiny grains had filled my mouth and nose, making my throat and lungs scream. I couldn't see. My eyes felt like they were bleeding from the sand. I could barely even move with the weight of the sand crushing me. It felt like I was suffocating while drowning in fire as the sand scraped my skin raw. Everything hurt, and even with my mind's eye running I couldn't seem to push the pain back. It was just too much.

A familiar sensation swept through me in a wave so strong that for just a moment, I could feel nothing but the burning chill of it in my mind. My body jerked as something hard hit my breast plate, quickly followed by a tightness that closed around my wrist. I was aruptly yanked upward, dragged by my wrist and whatever held it. The sand tore at my skin like tiny shards of glass as I was wrenched through it. I would have screamed my pain if I had the breath to do it. But, I couldn't. Even as I was hefted free from the sand I couldn't do anything but cough and sputter, trying to clear the sand that had invaded my body so I could take in much needed air.

"Hold on."

I couldn't even think to respond, but I did understand what was happening enough to compliantly give into the arm sliding around my waist. In one powerful movement I was pulled into a tight embrace and whisked away. Sand fell from my body with the speed we were moving at, but I couldn't think past my ragged, gasping breaths as I continued to expel sand. There was so much, it was like heaving up buckets of the stuff and every cough tore at my throat.

Abruptly I found my feet on solid ground, but I couldn't find the strength to stand and dropped to my knees. I didn't hit the ground hard though, but was instead supported and guided to rest back on my heels. Hands that were rough but gentle brushed at my face and hair, dusting off the sand that still clung to my skin. I knew tears were running down my face from my burning eyes, turning the sand still on my cheeks into a sort of paste as my eyes tried to clear the foreign objects from under my lids. Gods, it hurt so much. I wanted to try and rub my eyes to make the pain stop, but even as I tried I had to stop because of the armor that still covered my hand. I tried to blink to help clear the sand away but I only made the pain flare.

"Easy, Ria." One of those rough but gentle hands rested over my eyes and the warm, familiar sensation of kaido tickled my skin. I reached out, finding fabric with my hand as I suppressed my coughing so only my body was shaking with the proxysms. The coughing wasn't helping so much as it was making me hurt more.

"Toshiro," I almost sobbed his name between coughs.

"I got you," he murmured as his other hand found mine. He took hold of it and squeezed just like he had done when I had been in my mind's eye. "I can heal you, but you need to get the sand out with your shikai or it won't do any good."

I nodded feebly and gripped my zanpakuto. If she hadn't sealed my hand to her hilt I would have lost her when my box caved in. I sent her a silent thank you as I slipped back into my mind's eye for only a moment. We must have been far enough away from the Hollow's that it's reiatsu had left the tiny grains, allowing me to take hold of them for the first time. I quickly forced all of it to turn into the first thing I could think of, and began coughing again as the remnants in my lungs and throat turned into water. What was on my skin instantly froze, but it was a soothing sensation that eased the scrapes and cuts that the sand had left across my body.

"We shouldn't just be sitting here with that Hollow-"

Toshiro's hand drifted down to cover my lips for just a moment, stopping me from continuing, before returning to cover my eyes once more. The warm, almost numbing sensation of his kaido never stopped, making the pain I was feeling ease away. "He's being handled. We are safe here for the moment."

"I can see without my eyes. We don't need to stay here," I pointed out even though I didn't move to stop him.

"I know, but you don't need your mind's eye right now, and I want to see your eyes," he murmured. He squeezed my hand and even though I couldn't really feel it with my armor on, but I felt the intent behind it. We were safe for the moment. He was telling me it was okay to let my guard down. I was so worked up that it had taken me far too long to realize it.

He'd come for me. He'd even released his bankai to get to me before I had been consumed by that Hollow. The realization had me struck with awe and a sense of thankfulness that was so deep, I couldn't even imagine how to put my thoughts in words. I released my hold on my zanpakuto, and the metal that held my hand to her released. As she slipped from my grip I leaned forward, sliding past Toshiro's hand to let myself fall into his chest. Metal clanged as my armor dissipated and my cheek found the ice that covered his sash like armor and my hands both knotted in the fabric of his jacket. When his arms surrounded me, holding me to him, I let out a shaking sigh.

My emotions had returned with the loss of my shikai. The sensation was almost overwhelming, but I kept myself together as I curled my body closer to him so I could hide in the shelter of his body. Slowly I turned my head up so I could blink up at him and was greeted with an expression so tender that I had no choice but to give him a relieved smiled in return. Ice was layered into his hair, spiking up like crown upon a his head while fragments of ice framed his face.

"Ria," he cooed my name as his hand swept over my face again, brushing away the crystals of ice that the water had turned into. I turned my face into his palm and nuzzled my cheek into his chilled hand. The icy scales felt cool and soothing across my skin as his thumb brushed over my brow.

He must have wanted the same thing that I did in that moment, because he gently slipped his hand back into my hair. The ice that coated his skin like scales may have been for protection in battle, but now he was so gentle that it felt like it was just his fingers running through my hair. He guided me to tilt my head back further before his lips brushed mine in a soft kiss. My lips were raw and swollen from what had just happened, but I kissed him back anyway. The kiss was soft and cold and everything that I had been craving. Feeling a little pain was worth it just to feel his lips on mine.

"How did you know to come?" I asked roughly as we parted.

"We've been running here since last night. I wasn't going to let you stay here for any longer than I absolutely had too," he said as he kissed my nose then my forehead as he eased his hold on my hair. I felt the air around us grow colder until Hueco Mundo's heat was almost non-existent. He had drawn his wings forward, hiding us behind the icy blue sheen of them.

"You're always just in time," I murmured as I hid my face against his chest. My words were so soft I wasn't sure if he heard me, but when his grip around me became tighter I knew he had.

"You're safe," he murmured. "That's all that matters."

He held me to him for several moments and together we ignored the rest of the world. It was just us, here, basking in each others presence like we had been apart for far longer than just a few days. A small voice in the back of my head wondered if it was normal to crave someone so much, but the thought was quickly overthrown by the relief I felt in his presence.

A familiar spiritual pressure flared behind Toshiro. I ignored it for several long moments, but when a deep roar shook the ground beneath me I stirred.

"Kazui?" I asked in a rough voice even though I already knew the answer. I could feel him nearby, somehow facing off against a Hollow that had no body to strike.

"Yes." Toshiro's grip around me eased and he pulled away slightly like he was looking away from me. "He and Captain Sui Feng came with me. The others took another route here to draw focus."

"Draw focus?" I asked as I squinted up at him. His gaze cast over his shoulder, his wing folded down to allow him to see beyond it. He turned his attention back to me, his movement making the air around him sparkle with crystals of ice.

"The Arrancar we were fighting when you came to me have been trying to pick us off since we arrived in Hueco Mundo. We thought they were Numeros, but we couldn't find a number on any of them," he explained. His thumb ran across my chin in a tender caress, coaxing me to lift my head higher. "A civil war can mean a lot of things. Nel conveniently didn't mention what was happening here until Ichigo asked her. But, now that we know we split up to accomplish two tasks."

I didn't try to open my eyes again when I knew it would only make them hurt, and instead settled on gazing at him in my mind. He acted like my eyes were open anyway and let his expression soften to something only I was ever allowed to see.

"We need to move," Captain Sui Feng's voice interrupted our moment.

"Yes," Toshiro agreed. His face instantly tensed back into the terminally annoyed mask he usually wore.

"Move?" I asked, my attention turning to see her standing beside us. She hadn't been there a second ago, but I shouldn't have been surprised. She was the Commander of the Stealth force after all.

"Ria," Toshiro said to draw my attention back. "You wrote in the sand that Lieutenant Ogido and the Soul Reapers taken prisoner had been released. I need to make sure that I understood you right. You are the only one that was still being held prisoner, right?"

"Yes," I said with a small nod. "I made a deal with Grimmjow, and he sent them through his garganta to the World of the Living."

"Do you know if they made it there?"

"No, but I do know the garganta closed behind them. I was there when it happened."

He stared down at me for a moment and I could see the thoughts behind his eyes.

"Why didn't you go with them?" He asked in a whisper. I knew he meant for only me to hear it, so I answered with a whisper of my own.

"I traded myself. I freed one of Grimmjow's Fracciones just like I saw I would do in my zanpakuto's vision of the future, and in exchange he released them."

"Why? Why would you do that?"

"To spare you."

An emotion flashed through his features, but it was gone before I could understand what it was. His arms slid away from me and he reached into one of the pockets that lined the front of his jacket to pull out a rough metal key. His wings drew back until they were tucked behind him and he stood, offering the key to Captain Sui Feng in the same movement.

"I'm sending you back to the Soul Society with Captain Sui Feng."

I started to protest, but he held his hand out to stop me before I could speak.

"We can't do what we need to do if we're concerned for you. You aren't ready for what's to come, and I don't know what I would do if you were dragged into the coming combat without me by your side."

Toshiro's hand turned over, and the gesture shifted from a quieting one to him offering me his hand. I had a moment to consider his words as I tried to decide on what course to take. The part of me that was so relieved to finally be with him again was screaming no, but the part of me that had been raised to obey, to be obedient, understood exactly what he was saying. I was a liability if a real battle broke out. The only reason I had ever been involved in this sort of situation before was because I had been bait, or I had been acting outside of Toshiro's control. Both times he had been there, and both times I had been severely injured in some way. He needed me out of the picture to be able to fight without worry or hesitation.

This was his job. He was a Captain just as much as he was the man I loved, but right now he was giving me an order. Retreat, so everyone else could fight to their greatest potential.

My thoughts had only taken a few seconds to process before I reached up and took his hand. I let him pull me up as I took hold of my zanpakuto once more and tried to ignore the ache of my raw skin. His hand was cold in mine, and a pang of worry shot through me. What if he was injured? What if he didn't come back? I swallowed hard as my thoughts continued downwards, but I kept my inner turmoil from showing on my face.

"How long so you think it will be before you return to the Soul Society?" I asked. I felt his hand relax in mine before he dropped it.

"A day or two, if all goes well," he answered.

"If you're more than a week I'm going to send Rangiku after you," I said, forcing a smile that I didn't feel.

"We need to go, now," Captain Sui Feng interrupted again. I nodded obediently and turned, but Toshiro's hand caught my arm and he pulled me back to him. His mouth covered me in a quick, chilled kiss. He pulled back and I had to fight with myself to not reach out for him as he stood straight and gazed down at me. His face was still that annoyed mask, but his eyes held unsaid words that were meant just for me.

I nodded and pressed my hand to the ice that covered his chest just long enough for him to know that I too wanted to say things that I couldn't. I stared up at him for only a moment longer before I let my hand trail away from him and turned. Captain Sui Feng stood before a doorway that would have looked like a senkaimon if it had been flooded with light instead of the darkness of the space between worlds. I forced myself not to glance back at him as I followed Captain Sui Feng into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read Seer before Herald, I'm sure you are really lacking the feeling of a plot in this story. I've noticed it anyway, and I'm going to be putting Herald out of it's misery. I've felt a lack of direction in this story since I shifted gears back in chapter 8 or 9, and have been making it work since then. After 20 some odd chapters I don't see how I can correct my course, so I've decided that Herald needs to be done with. Expect another chapter to wrap up this story and set the stage for the next.
> 
> I started writing again about a year ago when I started Seer, but before that I had been writing my own original story and before that more fanfics. Back in high school I actually wrote an entire book that I wanted to publish. Needless to say, I didn't and now when I go back to read it, all I want to do is rewrite it. That's been the driving factor behind writing these fanfics. I need practice, I need to make mistakes and learn from them, and most importantly I needed to figure out what was really me when it came to creativity. Consider Herald mistake number one, two and three. One was writing to a goal rather than writing what I wanted to. Two was trying to write two stories at one time. Three was not following the basic story rule of having some defining event to build up to. I can imagine that I will make many more mistakes over the next year or two while I'm writing these fanfics, but I have to learn somehow.
> 
> Now, this doesn't mean that Ria's story is over. I'm going to write in the direction that I've wanted to go in for several months now, which I will set the stage for in the last chapters of Herald. Give me a few months to finish Negative Space (because I'm enjoying writing it way too much to stop) and the next fanfic I write will be the third chapter of Ria and Toshiro's story. I've already got the start of the story thought out, so if you're following me expect to see False Gods posting next.


	22. She Who is Judged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter has arrived! I hope you all enjoy the conclusion to Herald. Its taken me almost a year to get this stinker finished, but it was well worth it. If you have liked this story thus far, check back in a few months for False Gods, the 3 volume of Ria Yamamoto's story.

"Remember, you are here so you can answer their questions, not so you can interrupt them," Misa, my 'handler' said as she fussed with my shimada. She had been at it for a good half hour now, and my neck was starting to protest from the odd angles she kept making me hold. I could have done it myself, but she seemed to think that lecturing me while she worked with my hair was the only way she was going to get me to listen. She was right in her way of thinking, but I had heard it all before.

"Yes Ma'am," I answered obediently, though in my head I just wanted to stand up and be done with this silly primping.

"Lady Ise will be there with you, which means you must wait for her permission to speak. She is the Head of the Clan, and as such as the right to answer questions in your place if she so chooses." Her voice sounded like that of a small and proper woman rather than the overly muscled monster that she was. She was strong, which was demonstrated as she pulled a comb painfully through my hair. I didn't flinch even though I wanted to. My scalp was starting to go numb from her attentions as it was. It had been months since I had worn my hair in anything but a chignon, so it was my own fault that it was so uncomfortable.

"Yes Ma'am," I answered again, my tone flat with boredom.

This whole thing would have been easier if Toshiro was here. That one thought made me slouch as my thoughts trailed back to Hueco Mundo, but I was quickly reminded of Misa's grip on my hair as she yanked my head back with one overzealous tug of the comb. I just wanted this to be over with.

"Do I need to make your obi tighter?" She asked, clearly threatening to suffocate me if I let my posture slip again. I was only in the first two layers of my full outfit, meaning it was a perfectly good threat.

"No Ma'am."

"Good," she said curtly as I felt the comb pull free before she began the delicate task of tying my hair back into the bun of the shimada.

I let out a silent sigh as my gaze drifted to the open shoji doors leading out into one of the grassy areas of the Ise Clan compound. It had been almost a week since Captain Sui Feng escorted out of Hueco Mundo and taken me all the way back to the Soul Society, dumping me at the gates of the Kuchiki Clan's private senkaimon before she vanished back through it. It had been rather embarrassing appearing like that in the Noble family's grounds, but apparently I had been expected because Lady Rukia had been standing there, waiting for me. She never actually told me why she was there, but it was probably to ensure that I couldn't go running back to Hueco Mundo. I couldn't blame her. I didn't exactly make the best of decisions sometimes.

Since then I had been mulling about the squad grounds, working in a lackluster pace at the thought of my impending summons. Not that I had been hiding behind Toshiro before, but without him here I didn't have any reason to put off the inevitable. The Ise Clan was my problem, not his. I would never ask him to intervene with my responsibilities to my clan, but having him here would have at least made it easier to deal with. Or worse.

I still wasn't entirely sure what the elders wanted to know, or how I'd answer the questions that I was certain they were going to ask me. Without really moving my head I reached out and lifted the summons letter from the small table that Misa was using to hold my hair accessories while she worked. I flipped it open and read over the elegant scrawl I was certain I had memorized after reading it several dozen times. They wanted to know about my relationship with Toshiro, but even more worrisome was their desire for me to take over some of Mio's duties. I could do it, residing here until Mio was herself again. But, I didn't want to. I wanted to keep doing what I wanted, being with who I wanted, when I wanted. It was selfish to think like that, but I hadn't been selfish more than a very few times in my life.

Was it wrong to want to chase after my own desires?

"Staring at it won't give you the answers, you know."

My gaze flicked up to see Lady Nanao walking into the room from the open doorway. She was dressed in her clan garb, a look I hadn't seen her in since the last ceremony. A white kimono with red stitching swallowed her body with its size and the many layers underneath, leaving only her hands and face exposed. The numerous layers under the main robe were representative of the many faces of the gods that she was meant to be able to quell with her zanpakuto, but if you didn't know that she just looked like she was pretending to be a noble for a day. Even her hair had been pulled back into a very tight bun to allow for the ornamental golden hair piece to fit over it. I knew it was a piece crafted by the shihoin family to compliment the Ise Clan's religious purposes in the Soul Society, but that knowledge was only for the women of the family.

I gave Lady Nanao a sheepish smile as I set the summons back down. "Your robes suit you, Lady Nanao."

"They are heavy and annoying," she said lightly, like she hadn't just been saying negative things but rather positive ones. "But, I mean to have my way with the Elders, and that requires making a powerful impression upon them."

"Is that why I am being put in this particular kimono?" I asked as I gestured over to the stand where the fabric was hung to display the pattern that was painted across the maroon fabric. I wasn't able to look at it with Misa controlling my head, but I knew it's designs well. Golden flowers were painted on the fabric, standing out in a their glimmering designs like they were embellishments rather than just painted on. Mio had bought this kimono for me after I had told her I was going to join the 13 Court Guard Squads. It had been both a parting gift and a symbol of her well wishes for me.

"Yes," she answered before she lifted her gaze to Misa and waved her off. The large woman behind me silently dropped my hair and moved away, allowing Lady Nanao to take her place. "It was the most vibrant, but mature kimono you have. We need to remind them that you aren't a child any more."

"Wouldn't being in uniform prove that?" I asked, trying not to sound put out but failing.

"You're a member of the clan right now. Bring your zanpakuto if you want to prove a point, but for now you need to be exactly what you are in this moment. A young, responsible clans woman first, and the 3rd seat of Squad 10 second."

I nodded as I felt her fingers slide into my hair. Compared to Misa, her touch was gentle and easy as she resumed where Misa had left off and gathered what remained of my loose hair to begin working it into the back of my shimada.

"You're worried," she stated. I glanced to the mirror that sat in front of me and met her eyes in the reflection. I had been avoiding looking at the mirror while Misa was behind me, but I wanted to listen to Lady Nanao and looking at her made me feel like I doing more than just listening.

"I've been avoiding the summons for too long. I don't like dealing with the elders in the first place but before now it had always been in a positive light, or at least neutral."

"You aren't here for disciplinary actions," she chided as she leaned to the side to pluck a red hair ribbon from the small table. "You're here to explain your relationship with Captain Hitsugaya, as well as to discuss the possibility of taking on some of Mio's responsibilities until she has recovered."

A blush crept into my cheeks with her words, but when I realized again that she could see me, my face darkened even more. "How do I even answer questions like that? And in a room full of old men? Captain Hitsugaya and I were keeping our relationship quiet for a reason."

"And that was?" She asked.

My fingers knotted together nervously in my lap as I desperately thought for words. "I-It's not proper for a Captain to be seeing someone who is under their command."

"Says who?" She asked as I felt her tug the ribbon into a knot in my hair. "There is no rule against it, and the Head Captain never disagreed with what you two are doing."

"It isn't proper," I fussed.

"Again, who says it isn't? If the Head Captain is fine with it, then I don't see a problem."

"I'm a member of the clan. I shouldn't be-"

"I am the one who released you from your responsibilities to the clan," she said over me, stopping my argument before it could even start. "Do you feel like you need permission to be with him?"

"No," I said quickly, but stopped myself so my words wouldn't be rushed. "No, at first I did, but I don't really care what someone might say now."

Lady Nanao smiled in the mirror, but it wasn't simply a happy smile. It was a smile that said she was having a hard time holding back laughter.

"What?" I asked indignantly.

"Oh, nothing," she said stiffly, her smiled shifting into a grin.

Lady Nanao didn't laugh easily, so either she was in a really good mood or I was making a fool of myself. Or both. She wouldn't tell me why if she hadn't already, so I let out a huff of annoyance.

"Where's your hummingbird kanzashi?" She asked, distracting me from my thoughts as I looked down at the small table to see the kanzashi Toshiro had given me laying across a swath of velvet. During my time in Hueco Mundo it had been bent and misshapen by the events that took place. I blamed Apacci for most of it, but it didn't really matter. I had fixed it shortly after returning to the Soul Society with every intention of admitting my guilt to Toshiro when he returned. I didn't know why, but I had to tell him I had broken it. I doubted that he had noticed it in the very few minutes we had been together.

"It was broken when Mitsuji possessed me," I said softly.

"That was two months ago. Why haven't you fixed it?"

I was silent for a long moment as my eyes ran over the delicate petals of the kanzashi, but finally came up with an answer for her. "Toshiro gave me this one. Considering the topic of the summons, I thought it more appropriate."

It went without saying that there were other reasons for my decision to wear this one, and as Nanao leaned over to lift the ornate kanzashi from its velvet bed, I knew she understood that. She probably didn't know my exact reasons, but I was certain that she had a very good idea.

"You're probably correct in your thinking," she said softly as she slipped the kanzashi into its proper place in my shimada, allowing me to see the golden chains as they hung down just to the left of my temple.

"Thank you for your assistance in preparing me for this meeting with the Elders," I said formally as I stood and turned to face her. I gave her a small bow, watching as the chains swayed with my movement.

"Ria," she said lightly, encouraging me to stand straight as she took my hand in hers. "Don't worry. If all goes well, you will just need to sit there and look pleasant."

I nodded, but it was just for her sake. I didn't believe everything would go well. As much as I loved Toshiro, he wasn't a member of any of the noble houses. He was a Captain, which alone meant much but in the eyes of the elders I didn't think it would mean anything. He would be a soldier in their eyes. We were a religious clan. I doubted that they would honestly approve of our relationship. I wished that their opinions don't matter to me, but they did.

"I must return to the meeting chambers to await their arrival," Lady Nanao said as she stepped back from me. "Ease up, Ria. It'll be fine, I promise."

I gave her a reassuring smile, but it was clear by her expression that she didn't believe me. She didn't say anything though, and I watched as she left through the same doorway she had come in through, leaving me alone with Misa again.

The big woman didn't waste even a moment as she bustled across the room to my kimono. "Come now, Miss Yamamoto. Let's finish up here so you are presentable for the Elders."

* * *

 

Putting on a kimono normally didn't take long, especially when I had someone to help wrap me into it. Even alone I could have done it in thirty minutes or so, and that was without my zanpakuto's help. Misa however? To her it was like a test of how perfect she could get it. I had only interacted with her a few times before now, but never in such detail. She was a slave driver, but a perfectionist too? It was just stupid.

"We must go now," Misa said as she smacked my obi. I knew it was to settle the fabric, but it made me jump a bit anyway. "The Council Meeting begins in five minutes, and you need to be settled before Lady Ise enters."

"I was raised on these customs. You don't need to lecture me on something I already know so well," I said in a stern tone. I was getting tired of her constant reminders.

"If you actually heeded our customs you wouldn't have ignored the summons for so long." The look she gave me only emphasized her point, but I didn't any away from it. Instead I narrowed my gaze and held hers for a long moment before I leaned down and scooped my zanpakuto from where she was resting against the wall before I stepped forward and out of the room. Misa easily found her place in front of me as I walked and proceeded to escort me to the Council Chambers. I frowned at her back, but shook it off and tucked my zanpakuto against my side so she wasn't visible among the fabric of my kimono.

Tankyu no Unmei had almost repaired herself over the last week. I had spent several hours a day meditating with my shikai released to help her work. Only faint traces of gold could be seen in her blade. Her manifestation looked mostly Human again with the gold only glimmering faintly under her pale skin. Most days she wore enough makeup to hide what remained, but yesterday she had decided to flaunt around with nearly no adornments to her usually regal looking self.

I was glad she almost whole again, but looking at her and the gold that slowly faded from her skin made me think of Toshiro. Had his wound healed too? Would I be able to feel him like I had been able to before?

A silent sigh slipped from my mouth as my gaze drifted over the grass that ran along the porch's edge. Every day I had been worrying about what was happening in Hueco Mundo. For them to have been gone so long something bad must have happened. He had said a day or two, but clearly that hadn't happened. Had they stayed to help the Espada? Had they even stopped to question their motives? I had no idea. The only thing I did know was that I never wanted to go back to Hueco Mundo again.

The soft murmur of hushed voices drew my attention and I looked up from the grass. We had arrived at the entrance to the Council Chambers. A spark of dread ran through me as I gazed into the room that was filled with the warm glow of the burning brazzers that lined the walls. I had been in this room maybe a dozen times in my life, and none of them had been the most pleasant experiences. I had never been in trouble exactly, but always under the scrutiny of the elders that had never actually interacted with me outside of this format.

Misa stepped sideways and gestured toward the chamber. I followed her gesture, knowing that from here on I would be alone until Lady Nanao called for me. Stepping into the room I passed through the barrier that guarded it. Just like the grounds, this room only allowed passage to those who belong inside. Mainly, those that had been granted entrance before now. The sensation of passing through it was odd, but not entirely uncomfortable. In the dead of summer it would have felt like stepping into an air conditioned room, but with winter approaching, it was more of a shifting of air pressure. The fires that lit the room only gave off light, lacking the heat that would have naturally accompanied the flames.

The room was already filled with most of the elders that would be in attendance. Looking around, there were still several empty seats throughout the room, but I just knew they belonged to some of the people who were still standing.

No, I wouldn't be so lucky as to sit obscurely in the back. I got to sit right up front where I could be called upon when my time came. That was the privilege of those who were part of the main family and not just a branching member.

Steeling myself, I gripped my zanpakuto just a bit tighter before I made my way down the center of the room. My progress went mostly unnoticed until I turned to the right and walked down the first row of kneeling cushions. The soft murmur of voices never paused, but I was suddenly hearing my name mentioned as the elders continued to talk. I ignored them and found my place a few cushions down.

Settling in, I arranged my kimono in a fashion that would allow me to easily stand before I set my zanpakuto down in front of me. I had replaced her black sash with a teal one that matched the color of her eyes. After some thought, I had embroidered each corner with golden cranes standing among tree branches. Tankyu no Unmei was always about flare, and I had been meditating with her for the past few days. It only made sense to do something with my shikai running instead of almost sleeping. Her sash was tied into an elegant bow with the tails falling halfway down the length of her blade. Normally it was just enough to circle my waist twice, but without wearing it the length looked almost excessive.

"Ah, you're here already," a male voice said above the other voices. I turned my head, the chains of my kanzashi jingling with the motion as I looked up to see Uncle Shunsui moving to sit beside me.

"Un- Head Captain?" I said, quickly catching myself. "I didn't know you were allowed in here." Or that he would show up. What was he doing here?

He flashed me a smile as he settled into the cushion. His usual kimono was absent from his shoulders, leaving his Captain's Haori clearly displayed to the room. It was the first time outside of his office I had seen him without the kimono. "I'm just here to observe. Since I'm only Nanao's uncle, I don't have a say in any of the decisions, but that doesn't mean that I can't be here to support my two favorite girls."

If I hadn't been wearing makeup I was certain he would have seen the glowing blush that heated my cheeks. Toshiro had said that Nanao and I were special to him, but to hear it actually come out of his mouth was both flattering and embarrassing. He was here to remind the elders of what I was, and what Nanao was. Whatever sort of decision they wanted to make or suggest, it would be done as they stared at the back of the Captain Commander of the 13 Court Guard Squads. Had Lady Nanao planned this? I was betting she had.

"Thank you," I said with a small bow of my head.

"I'm also here because someone else couldn't make it in time," he said lightly as he leaned back on his hands in a lazy movement.

I blinked and watched his easy expression for a moment. Once I realized that he wasn't just going to tell me what meant by that, I asked, "in time, or at all?"

"In time," he clarified as his cobalt grey eyes slid over to me. His smile grew for just a moment before his gaze returned to the small stage at the front of the room.

In time… did that mean Toshiro had returned? Or was he referring to someone else? I had gone to see Mio two days ago, and even though she was free of the Soul Candy that had been eating away at her, she was in no condition to be making an appearance for this meeting. It would take her months to recover. Daisuke maybe? He was up and about, but he really didn't have any involvement in this situation. It had to be Toshiro, but I couldn't feel him.

I started to open my mouth to ask for clarification, but stopped myself. Talking about Soul Reaper affairs in the domain of the clan wasn't exactly smiled upon. Clan business was clan business, and Soul Reaper business was, well, Soul Reaper business. They were two completely separate entities, even if people like myself and Uncle Shunsui were heavily involved in both.

The people who had been standing around the room abruptly moved in different directions, drawing my attention away from my thoughts as they found their places around the room and sat. I just knew Lady Nanao had come to the door. I didn't even have to look to the entrance to feel her presence in the room. I may have just been interacting with her a short while ago, but then she had been much like my sister to me. Now she was a clan leader, and everyone in the room knew it.

The room grew almost silent, allowing her footsteps to sound softly on the floor as she moved through the room and towards the stage at the front. I kept my gaze forward until she stepped up, only then allowing my head to turn to watch as she turned to face the room and knelt. She gazed cooly across the elders, his eyes flicking from face to face until she met my gaze and moved on like I was no one special.

"This meeting has been called to address rising discontentment in the clan. Let us speak now and come to a resolution on these matter so they will trouble our people no more."

I curled my toes nervously as the pressure in the room seemed to shift. It was another kido spell slipping into place to keep our words contained within this space. No one outside the room would hear a peep from us until the barrier was taken down.

"Many of you have voiced concerns over the share or responsibilities and duties that were perform for the noble houses. We will begin with discussing these issues, and coming to a new resolution on the subject."

I blinked up at her in surprise, but my reaction went unnoticed as her gaze shifted to the other side of the room to call out one of the elders. She wasn't going to address my summons first. I knotted my fingers nervously, but otherwise kept my reaction from outwardly showing. What was she waiting for? Whenever someone had been summoned before they had been dealt with and shooed away so real business could commence. This was disturbingly different, and for just a moment, I didn't know what to do with myself.

Several topics were brought up and discussed as time wore on. I knew from past experience that the meetings could last for hours, but I had never actually sat through one. Normally these meetings only happened once every quarter, but they had apparently pushed this quarter's meeting due to my unresponsiveness and Lady Nanao's busy schedule. This was going to be a long meeting, but to be stuck here waiting the entire time? I hadn't prepared myself for it, and as the morning wore into afternoon I became fidgety and uncomfortable.

A hand tapped my knee, drawing me out of my thoughts. I glanced over to Uncle Shunsui to see his hand down by my knee. He turned his palm over, revealing a wrapped hard candy. I blinked down at what he was offering, then subtly drew my gaze up to meet his. He was smiling at me, that lazy smile of his disarming in a way that I wasn't prepared for.

"Ease up," he murmured just loud enough for me to hear. "Have some candy."

"Candy?" I whispered back questioningly. "Now isn't the time for that."

"Take it," he said as he tapped my knee again. "You need to relax. You are too stiff."

"For good reason," I mumbled more to myself than him. I eyes the candy he was offering me for a long moment, then let out a soft sigh and plucked it from his hand. The wrapper was made of a waxy paper that crinkled as I revealed the caramel colored candy it was protecting. I resisted the urge to sniff it so I could be sure it was just candy and not some alcoholic concoction and subtly slipped it into my mouth as I stashed the wrapper in my sleeve.

The thick taste of carmely goodness washed over my tongue, practically forcing me to close my eyes so I could enjoy it better.

"There ya go," Uncle Shunsui mused beside me.

It took me several moments of sucking on the candy to find my words.

"Thank you," I sighed out.

"Ria Yamamoto," Lady Nanao called out, making my eyes snap open with a start. She was loooing right at me, her gaze cool and focused despite how long we had been in here. "You've answered the summons of the council by attending today's meeting. Approach the stage so that we may all see you as our inquiry is answered."

I gave Uncle Shunsui a sideways glance before I did as I was asked. Lifting my zanpakuto, I stood in one practiced movement that spoke to the lady I had been raised to be. In the same small but fluid movements I walked down the aisle between the elders and to the center of the room before approaching the raised stage. It was only a foot or so above the rest of the room, but as I shuffled up the steps I suddenly felt like I was above them and still beneath their foot. I never liked being in this situation before, and even less so now.

Finding the cushion that was set a few feet to Lady Nanao's right, I knelt on it. Just like I had been planning to do, I raised Tankyu no Unmei from my side and held her out for a moment before I gently set her on the stage in front of me. Silence wafted through the room for a long moment and I knew without looking that everyone's eyes were on us. I settled back on my heels, but kept my head bowed in a sign of submissiveness that the council would hopefully appreciate.

"Ria Yamamoto, you've been summoned for two reasons. Do you know what those are?"

It was a competency question, to make sure that I had come here with the correct intent. Tucking the candy under my tongue I spoke around it to answer her. "Yes, Lady Ise."

"Then we will allow the elders to speak," she announced.

A throat cleared like someone was eager to talk, and I glanced up to see one of the elders women standing up to speak. "Mio Ise held many responsibilities in the clan as one of the members of the main household. In her absence, many of these duties have gone unfulfilled and several of the noble families have expressed concern over their spiritual well-being. We want these responsibilities to be fulfilled by Ria Yamamoto. As a member of the main household, it is her responsibility to ensure all duties are fulfilled."

"And what of her responsibilities as a Soul Reaper?" Lady Nanao challenged in my place. I sucked on the candy with her question, finding it helpful in keeping my mouth shut.

"She is an Ise first. You may have not given her our name when she was brought into the family, but she still holds the responsibility and position."

"Just as I hold responsibility over the clan and within the 13 Court Guard squads. I released her from any responsibility within the clan almost twenty years ago. If you wish to repeal my decision, you must come up with a better reason than our inability to temporarily adapt to Mio's absence while she recovers."

Tension seemed to rise in the room with Lady Nanao's words, but no one raised any objections for a long moment. Then a man towards the back shifted and began speaking, offering suggestions for the events he would like to see occuring. Lady Nanao challenged his words, and a polite but very political debate sprang forth.

I sat in silence as the conversation went on, silently flipping the candy over in my mouth. I hadn't understood why Uncle Shunsui had offered me the candy at first, but I understood why now. Even though it was just a little thing, it was keeping me distracted enough that I didn't try to say something to interrupt the discussion. It was keeping me quiet and rather content to just listen as Lady Nanao spoke on my behalf. It wasn't until the candy had melted away on my tongue that Lady Nanao turned to me.

"Do you find these terms maintainable with your role as the 3rd Seat of Squad 10?"

By terms she meant what she had settled on with the elders. I would assume Mio's duties of maintaining the relationships with only the most important of the Noble Families and participate as needed in ceremonies in her place. They had wanted me to assume the role full time and to live on the Ise clan's grounds, but she had convinced them that it was unrealistic. I was already familiar with enough of the Noble families through relationships made in the 13 Court guard squads that I could do as they asked while still performing my duties to my squad.

"Yes, Lady Ise."

"Then this matter is resolved," Lady Nanao said in a tone that would have allowed no argument.

There was a pause in the room that felt much like a calm before a storm. Then, one of the elders spoke. "And what of the rest of our summons? Will this not be answered?"

He was speaking of the part about explaining my relationship with Toshiro. Nervousness knotted in my stomach at the thought. I had convinced myself that Lady Nanao would control the conversation so well that they might magically forget about that part. So much for that.

"Ria Yamamoto is currently involved in a courtship with the Captain of Squad 10, Toshiro Hitsugaya. What more do the elders wish to know?"

Soft murmurs broke out in the room, but they were quickly overwhelmed by people voicing their questions.

"What is the intent of this courtship?"

"What is the intent of any courtship?" Lady Nanao said in challenge.

"This Hitsugaya, he is only a Captain? Why is such a relationship allowed when the marriage of the main family is such an important feat?"

"Have you forgotten who else is a Captain of the 13 Court Guard Squads?" Lady Nanao challenged. "Many of the heads of Noble families are Captains. Byakyua Kuchiki and every head of their clan before him, the former Captain Yoruichi Shihoin, and other members such as Rukia Abarai. Even our Captain Commander is in line to be the head of his family. Knowing this, would you consider her courtship with another Captain to be less advantageous? Even this doesn't matter though. I released Ria from her responsibility to marry for advantage when she became a Soul Reaper. Just like any of you, she is fit to marry whomever she chooses."

"Are they even going to marry? I heard she already spends an inappropriate amount of time with him."

"Ria is the 3rd seat of her Squad. It is her role in the squad to assist her Captain in his duties as well performing her own. Would you accuse your assistant of spending too much time with you, Elder Faa?"

Oh, she was calling out names now. That wasn't good.

"Even outside of work?" Another protested. "I heard that the situation that has affected Mio Ise only came to pass because of his interference."

"If he hadn't intervened," I said sharply, drawing the attention from Lady Nanao. "I would have been dead several times over. If I had died, Mitsuji would have gone for my sister even faster and she too would be dead. It's because of him that I was able to steal her back from Mitsuji's control."

I glanced over to Lady Nanao, giving her a sheepish look as I realized I had spoken out of turn. All her efforts to keep me from having to say anything were for naught now. Great. Good job Ria. I should have gotten a second candy from Uncle Shunsui.

"And now? You spent so much time with him during that mess, but now there is no threat. How can you account for your actions? Its highly inappropriate for a Lady of the clan to be acting in such a manner."

I swallowed hard and let my gaze fall on my zanpakuto. Lady Nanao couldn't answer this one for me. I had to. "Up until a few months ago I didn't know my zanpakuto's name let alone how to truly use her. Captain Hitsugaya has been helping me to train and work with her so I am not so vulnerable."

"Even at night? Or do you deny the validity of the rumors of our time spent together at such inappropriate hours?"

Oh geez. They knew about that? I had been so careful to not be caught, but clearly I had been noticed.

"When I was injured, I stayed in his presence for my own protection. I learned from the incident with Mitsuji that my ancestor's enemies may very well be mine as well, and I am not Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto."

"So you admit that you have stayed the night with him?"

Lady Nanao held up a hand, stopping me from answering. In the same,moment a presence tingled on the edge of my senses. I lifted my eyes, my gaze fixing on the far wall of the room to track the presence I was feeling as it moved. I glanced down to Uncle Shunsui to see him wink at me, back to the wall, then to Lady Nanao. Her brow quirked up for just a moment in a suggestive sort of look. Was it really him?

I turned my gaze back to the open doorway to see Toshiro standing in it. I couldn't help the relieved smile that turned my lips when I met his gaze. All the nervous tension that had been building in me vanished, leaving in its wake a fine tremor in my hands that I couldn't seem to stop. Stupid nerves.

I felt the pressure of the silencing barrier drop and Toshiro stepped through the doorway. The light from the fires fell over him, washing his Captain's haori in a warm glow while making the blackness of his shihakusho seem deeper. The same glow made his skin seem tanner than I knew his was and his form almost taller. He was already tall enough, but as he walked into the room his presence seemed greater. It was all a trick of the light, but I couldn't seem to tear my eyes off him. Or rather, I just didn't want to.

He stopped before Lady Nanao, his gaze focusing on her before he gave her a slight bow. "Lieutenant Nanao, I hope I am not interrupting your assembly."

"You are, Captain Hitsugaya," she said firmly. "But, I will allow it. Your presence relates to our current topic of discussion."

Soft murmurs filled the room as the elders spoke softly to one another. Lady Nanao had made it clear who Toshiro was without throwing it in the elders faces.

"And are we to just accept this intrusion?" One of the elders spouted off.

"Yes," Lady Nanao said. "I have allowed it. Now, Captain if you will please join Ria and I."

She gestured toward me even though I knew she was intending for him to sit on my other side. I met her gaze for a moment, seeing the spark of amusement they held before she turned her attention back to the room. Was she laughing at me? I knew I had to look surprised, or better yet bewildered, but was it that noticeable?

Toshiro did as she asked and moved down the raised stage in front of me before stepping up. I craned my head back to watch him, making the chains of the kanzashi jingle with the movement. He stopped instead of turning to sit, and I lifted my chin higher so I could gaze up to him. He knelt beside me, his knee touching the ground beside my own and only then did I meet his aquamarine eyes again. His spiritual pressure licked at my senses and I had to struggle to keep myself from reaching for him.

His hand lifted and he lifted the chains of my kanzashi from my temple, his finger dragging lightly across my skin with the motion.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice so soft that I almost didn't hear him.

"Yes," I whispered back as I subtly tilted my head to brush against his knuckle again.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he said as he let the chains fall from his finger one by one.

"I never even told you, but I'm just glad you're here now," I replied. There was a lump forming in my throat, and I had to fight to keep it from making me choke up.

He gave me a lopsided smile that vanished just as quickly as it came. He turned from me and sat beside me, his face politically neutral as he gazed out over the elders. I watched his profile for a moment before my gaze ran down his form. He wasn't just wearing a haori, he was wearing his nice one with the silk lining that was colored teal like his sash. I couldn't see any sand on him, nor did he look like he had just spent a week in a war zone. It was like he had never been in Hueco Mundo.

How long has he been back in the Soul Society? Lady Nanao must have known he was coming. It was the only reason for her to put off addressing my summons.

"I will allow this meeting to continue," Nanao said, and like it was an incantation the barrier that had fallen to allow Toshiro entrance rose, snapping back in place with an eerie shift in pressure.

"Is this supposed to change anything?" One of the elders asked indignantly.

"Change what?" Lady Nanao challenged. I silently thanked her for taking over in my place again. "You wished to have questions answered. The only decisions we summoned her here for, were to assess and temporarily distribute Mio Ise's responsibilities in her absence. That has been settled. So, ask your questions. Captain Hitsugaya's presence doesn't change the purpose of this meeting."

Murmuring again rose through the room and fell after a moment. I had to fight to keep my face relaxed and my hands from knitting nervously. Everyone could see me now that I was up here. They had seen how Toshiro and I had interacted just a moment ago. I didn't mind that they had seen it, was strangely glad that they had, but now I had to maintain my composure and it was difficult.

"Fine," one of the elders announced. "Then we shall continue where we were interrupted. Do you admit that you've spent the night with him?"

The question was just as vague as it had been before, but still it held all the implied questions that had yet to be asked. My cheeks flushed as I tried to think of the most tactful way to answer the question.

"She has," Toshiro answered for me. "Are you implying more than what you're asking?"

I went stiff with his answer and the blush that had been heating my cheeks drained away. What was he doing? As far as I knew, he had never dealt with clan politics before. It was far more complicated than Squad politics. The people in front of us were in power, not the other way around. We, no I, was under scrutiny.

"Her fidelity is in question," another elder said.

My heart sank with those words. This was exactly what I didn't want to be accused of. It's what I had been trying to hide from my clan. I wasn't embarrassed that I was with Toshiro, but what we had been up to wasn't proper in the eyes of my clan.

"Her fidelity? Your summons was to be informed of a status of our relationship, not to question her loyalties. What gives you the right to question her when she has only been fulfilling her responsibilities?"

"Our summons has been ignored for over a month. Her reluctance has brought into question her-"

"Mio, her only blood related family, was dancing on the edge death during that entire time. Did you expect her to answer your summons during such a time?" Toshiro said, cutting him off. I snapped my head around so I could watch him as he spoke. His expression was still neutral, but his eyes were boring straight into the one who had spoken.

"It is disrespectful for her to have-"

"She was still unconscious when the first summons came, and the second. Do you consider it disrespectful for her to have ignored them when she wasn't even capable of answering?"

I blinked at him, my mouth falling open for a second before I caught it. He knew about the summons? Had he known the whole time?

"They were intended to be answered when she woke."

"And that is why two summons letters were sent? To doubly convey your request? She was still incapable of defending herself due to recovering from her own injuries for several weeks. Fulfilling her own responsibilities within the squad was more than she should have been doing, let alone answering your summons."

"And afterwards? It hasn't taken her until now to recover."

"Up until the Espada forcibly entered the Seireitei, she had been fully engaged in removing the Mitsuji's remaining puppets. The safety of the Soul Society and those within it will always be a Soul Reaper's top priority. Clan business comes second to our duties as Soul Reapers. This is something that all souls agree to when they join the Spiritual Arts Academy, and what Lieutenant Nanao knew she was doing when she released Ria from the clan's responsibilities."

The tension in the room was so thick that I was almost afraid to breathe. The elders were clearly not happy with what Toshiro had said, but it was clear he wasn't going to tolerate any arguments. I had never heard him tear into someone like that before, and his expression looked like it had been nothing for him to do it. Was he actually angry? Or was he doing this for me? I could have never spoken like that to the elders. I had intended to deal with whatever repercussions this meeting would bring, not to argue with them.

The room stayed silent for several heartbeats before Lady Nanao shifted. I turned my head around to look at her and noticed that she was trying very hard to hide a smile. To the elders it probably looked like a grimace, but I knew Lady Nanao's expressions. There was no question in my mind now. She had planned this.

"If there are no more questions, then I will adjourn this meeting."

"I have one more question," one woman said, speaking up from the back of the room.

"Then I will allow it," Lady Nanao said with a nod.

"My question is for Captain Hitsugaya," the elder said slowly. I turned my head to watch her as she spoke. "You are clearly comfortable speaking in her place or reinforcing her actions, but Ria Yamamoto is more than just a woman. She has responsibilities within the clan, and whomever would choose to wed her would be subject to these responsibilities as well. As far as I am aware, you have never been apart of a clan. You were born and raised in the Rukon Districts until you joined the 13 Court Guard Squads as a sort of child prodigy. So my question to you is, what are your intentions in courting Ria Yamamoto?"

"If you're asking if my intent is to raise my status, then the answer is no. I couldn't care less about status. I am a Captain not because I wanted the title, but because I believe in protecting those that are mine and in order for me to do that, I needed the power to do so. My intent is to be with Ria. I can handle whatever expectations that comes with."

The woman laughed and shook her head. "No, boy. I'm asking if you intend to marry her when the time comes."

If her words irritated Toshiro, he didn't show it as he smoothly answered her, "I do."

The woman smiled and nodded. "I think that's all we needed to know. Lady Ise, thank you for allowing my question. I believe you can conclude this meeting now."

Lady Nanao nodded. "Then you are all dismissed."

Relief washed through me that was so strong I actually let myself slouch for a moment. It was over, and it actually hadn't ended badly. It had actually gone rather well, though I was certain that I had everyone else to thank for that. My babbling mouth surely would have made today go a different way.

"Ria," Toshiro softly said my name, drawing my gaze to him. "Do you want me to take Tankyu no Unmei for you?"

I blinked up at him for a moment, not understanding why he was asking. His eyes flicked towards the exit that the elders were slowly filtering out through, and I caught on.

"Yes, I'd appreciate it. There is no convenient way for me to carry her in this kimono," I answered in an equally soft tone as I lifted her from where she lay in front of my knees. Gently I untied her sash and offered her to him. He looked over the new shash with an amused quirk to his brow before he took her and slid her over his back to join Hyorinmaru. As he tied her sash in a knot over his chest I reached out, covering his hand with my own. He stilled under my touch and our eyes met.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked in a hushed tone.

His hand turned undermine and his fingers wrapped around my hand. The corner of his mouth lifted in a sly buf gentle smile. "I can feel you no matter where you are."

Oh, duh. I knew that. I shook my head and shuffled a bit so I was facing him. "I mean here, at this council meeting. How did you know?"

"Let's go home before we start talking," he murmured as he squeezed my hand and rose. I watched him stand, my head craning back so I could keep my eyes on his face. He hadn't released my when he stood, and he gently tugged on it to tell my to stand as well. I used his hand to help me get up even though I didn't need it.

"Well, that was a fun meeting," Uncle Shunsui commented as he walked up to the edge of the stage next to us. "I need to come to these more often Nanao."

"They're not usually this eventful," Lady Nanao commented from behind me. I turned so I could still hold Toshiro's hand as I looked back at her. She pushed her glasses up, shadowing her eyes in the reflection on the lens as she spoke to me. "When you opened your mouth I thought for sure I'd have to tell you to shut up."

"I'm glad you didn't have to," I mumbled as I cast my gaze to the floor with embarrassment. I glanced back up to Uncle Shunsui and gave him a small smile. "Thank you for being here."

"Who, me?" He asked, mocking surprise. "I didn't do anything."

"Thank you, anyway."

He nodded a few times then turned to Lady Nanao. "I believe we have things to do back at the squad. Shall we get going?"

"Yes, Head Captain," she said with a small nod as she moved down off the stage.

"Aw, you're not starting with that Head Captain crap again, are you? What did I do to make you mad this time?"

"Candy? Really?" She asked as she moved across the room with Uncle Shunsui close behind.

"It worked, didn't it?"

I smiled at their backs as they left the room. I owed them both a lot for what they had done. Neither of them would let me actually pay them back, but I'd have to think of something subtle.

"Can you flash step in that kimono?" Toshiro asked as he gently tugged on my hand to get my attention.

"I don't think so," I said as I looked down at the silk fabric. "This kimono is a lot more delicate than any other I've flash stepped in. I'd be worried about tearing it if I tried."

Toshiro's hand brushed over my obi, sliding around my waist until his hand slid into the mass of fabric at my back. There were so many layers of fabric between his hand and me that all I could feel was the pressure of his touch, but it was still more than enough to make small butterflies flutter around in my stomach. He pulled me closer to him, guiding me to turn. Knowing what he was going to do, I slid one hand over his shoulder so as he bent down to sweep my legs up over his arm I was able to slide my arm around his neck.

"You know, we could walk like normal people," I suggested as he turned and started for the doorway.

"What about either of us is actually considered normal?" he asked.

I let out a small laugh and snuggled closer to him, using my one free hand to grip his haori. "I don't have my geta on. We'll have to stop by my room to get them."

"You won't need shoes for where we're going."

Toshiro didn't even bother walking outside before he slipped into his flash step. The sensation of moving so fast in such a confined area made me curl tighter into myself, despite knowing Toshiro had the control not to plough into a wall. It was clear that he didn't want to be here anymore, so I kept my mouth shut and covered my kanzashi with my hand to keep the chains from whipping my skin with the wind.

As Toshiro ran I tried to keep still so I wouldn't throw off his steps, but I couldn't stop myself from gazing up at him. He wasn't moving as fast as he could, but it was still fast enough to keep us invisible to the casual passerby. I bit down on my bottom lip as the questions I had been wanting to ask in the meeting came to the front of my mind.

"I hope I didn't make things worse for you with your clan," he said, speaking before I could manage to get my thoughts out of my mouth. "Perhaps I came in at a poor time, but I couldn't tolerate their accusations."

"You are far more accustomed to dealing with people like them than I am, I think," I almost laughed. "I can talk clan politics, but I wasn't prepared to answer the questions that they were asking. If I hadn't spoken, I think Lady Nanao would have handled it just fine, but they were such personal questions that I couldn't help but to speak up."

Toshiro turned his head to gaze down at me, but it only lasted for a moment because he abruptly closed the distance between our faces and covered my mouth with his. I barely felt him stop as I closed my eyes and pulled myself higher with my arm that was wrapped over his shoulder. The sound of running water followed by the tapping of bamboo hit my ears, but I paid it no mind as I released my kanzashi so I could run my hand up his chest to find the collar of his shihakusho. The kiss was probably intended to be something quick, but when I felt him pulling away I strengthened my grip on his shihakusho's collar to keep him close.

"I was so worried," I whispered against his lips. "Were you hurt?"

He let out a soft sigh that chilled my lips. "Nothing did enough damage that Captain Kotetsu couldn't heal it."

"So you were?" I asked, my voice cracking a bit. "Are you alright now?"

"Yes," he cooed as he nuzzled my cheek with his nose and kissed the corner of my mouth. "I'm not interested in talking about me though."

"Did you mean what you said?" I asked as my hand trailed up his neck, needing to touch his skin. "Everything? Back in the council chambers?"

"Yes," he said softly, kissing my cheek.

"Are you sure?" I asked, pulling back just enough so I could clearly meet his gaze. "Did you really mean it? Everything? Marriage if the time comes, accepting my clan… calling your house a home for us to return to. Did you really mean it?"

Toshiro's eyes softened and I felt him start walking again as his gaze flicked away to watch where he was going. I glanced around to watch his path, finding that he had stopped just on the other side of Rangiku's house. It was short of where he had intended to stop, I was sure, but thankfully it only took him a minute or so to cross the grass and step up onto the porch. He knelt slightly and lowered my feet until I was able to stand on my own on the porch. He gently guided me with his hand on my back to walk through the front door as he slid it open, but as I stepped through the threshold I felt his hand slip away before the door closed.

A knot of anxiety tightened in my stomach as I followed him into his living room then bedroom. He slid off his haori as he walked to the closet, and I stopped after a few steps to wait for him. Why was he being so quiet? He knew what his silence did to me, and he was doing it anyway.

"Are you coming?" He asked, his voice light and almost teasing. I blinked for a moment, then moved toward the closet to find he had hung his haori up and was working off the first layer of his shihakusho. Those teal eyes of his looked me up and down, and I could see the man in him peeking out. He liked how I looked in this kimono, but when his gaze lingered in my waist I could tell he was trying to discern how to remove it.

I couldn't help it. I smiled.

"You've never gotten to take one of my kimonos off before," I mused. My hand ran over the obi in an affectionate touch. "Mio gave this one to me. Lady Nanao thought it best that I remind the elders who I was rather than just what I was."

"How is she?" He asked as he slid his shihakusho top from his hakama.

"She's free of the soul candy, and her baby is doing well. Lieutenant Akon said he expects she will be able to leave their care around the time the baby is fully grown. So, three or four months."

His shihakusho slipped from his shoulders, but instead of hanging it up he let it fall to the floor. I couldn't help but to stare at him. It felt like it had been a month, no two months, since I'd seen him even though I knew it hadn't been more than two weeks. I didn't want to be in this kimono any more. I wanted to curled in his embrace, basking in the feel of his body around mine and his spiritual pressure chilling my skin. Gods, I just wanted to be with him.

I closed the distance between us, almost tripping over my own feet as I fell into him. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me tightly against him and squeezing me. I squeezed him back, my muscles working hard to hold him as tightly as I could. I felt his chest shake with an exhaled laugh, but I ignored it as I pressed the side of my head to his chest. His heartbeat was a little fast, but it was steady and just what I wanted to hear right now.

"Come on, let's get you out of that kimono," he murmured as he kissed the top of my head. "I need to see for myself that you aren't still injured."

I turned my head up, tilting just a bit so the chains of the kanzashi wouldn't cover my face. "That sounds an awful lot like an excuse to get me naked."

"Is that a problem?" He cooed as he dipped his head lower to capture my mouth.

"Not at all," I answered as I kissed him back.

As Toshiro helped me to get out of the kimono I told him what had happened over the last week while he had still be in Hueco Mundo. There wasn't much in relation to the squad, mostly because I had been so distracted that I hadn't paid Squad business much mind, but I did tell him everything about Mio, what the council had decided before he arrived, and all my worries that had been building up while I waited for him. He in return told me what happened in Hueco Mundo.

After I had left, the captains had a lengthy conversation with Halibel about the civil war. Toshiro had made it clear that he wasn't happy with the decision to excuse their kidnapping, but they had left Captain Hirako and Ichigo in charge of the conversation because of their experience with them. Apparently the Espada were too prideful to accept any sort of assistance from the Soul Society, and had sent the Captains packing while Kazui and Ichigo remained. They were part Hollow, which was apparently enough to make them welcome in their civil war. Another part of their talks was the release of the three Arrancar that were being held by Squad 12. Captain Hirako had the lovely task of telling Captain Kurotsuchi that he was going to lose his toys, which Toshiro didn't envy him for.

As Toshiro helped me slip out of the kimono until only the last layer of my kimono remained, I turned to him. I pulled the kanzashi from my hair and set it gently on one of the shelves in the closet so it wouldn't get in the way. I thought about taking my hair down piece by piece, but as I glanced over to see Tankyu no Unmei leaning against the wall beside Hyorinmaru I thought better of it. Reaching over to her, I rested my hand on her hilt and with one thought, called on my shikai for just a moment. The ties and pillows in my hair vanished in a wash of reishi and my hair fell around my body like a curtain of perfectly straight strands.

"What's this?" Toshiro asked as his gaze went to the floor to focus on a golden clasp that must have rolled free from my sleeve when his had been disrobing. A light blush tinted my cheeks from embarrassment as I quickly knelt and scooped the clasp up and sheltered it in my hands.

"Its something I made," I murmured as I held it to my chest posessively. "I'm not quite done with it yet. My thoughts were a bit chaotic while you were gone. It made doing detailed tasks like this difficult."

"Are you really hiding it from me?" He asked in an amused tone.

"N-no," I quickly denied in a flustered manner. "It's just not ready. I had intended to have it finished before you returned, but I couldn't seem to do it. My mind wasn't exactly in the best place, and I couldn't focus."

"What is it?" he asked as his hands found my hips and he gently pulled me closer to him.

"It's supposed to be a gift, but I wasn't sure what to do with it. I forgot I had it on me," I glanced up at him, clearly embarrassed. I opened my hands and turned one palm toward him so I could rest it over the scar that ran from his shoulder down to his upper abdomen. The reishi that I had filled it with was completely gone and it looked months old instead of two weeks. Captain Kotetsu had been right about how fast he could heal. He had probably used his bankai more than once while he had been in Hueco Mundo, but instead of that being a comforting thought it just made me worry about what had happened.

"I can't feel you anymore, not like you can feel me," I said as I ran my hand down the scar. "I… I miss it."

"Then what is this?" He asked as his hand covered mine. I let him take the clasp from my grip. It was exactly the same as the clasp that he wore with his zanpakuto to keep the sash and chain bound at his chest. I had struggled with the thought of giving him something new or just replacing what he already had, and had given up trying to decide earlier today. The clasp had gone with me to the Ise Clan by mistake, while the item I had been working on was where I had left it this morning.

Turning from him I found Hyorinmaru leaning against the wall and picked up his zanpakuto. Toshiro had used the a chain instead of his usual sash today, but the item I was looking for was still there. Holding his zanpakuto in one hand I let my other side down the chain to find the clasp that he used to hold the ends together at his chest.

"It's the same clasp you normally wear, just with reishi purely made by my shikai," I explained as I held it up for him to compare the two items. My thumb ran over one of several gauges in the metal as I said, "the one you have is rather damaged from all the fighting you've been in. I wanted to give you something that you might actually wear, I just didn't know what you would like. I figured this would be the most acceptable."

"Acceptable?" He chuckled, making me blush even more. "Is this what you actually wanted to do?"

"I wasn't sure if you'd like what I was thinking about," I said slowly as I turned and glanced back at the doorway. "I kept making and remaking it, but without you here I couldn't decide if it was right."

I bit my lip as I mulled over my thoughts, but it only took me a moment to make a decision. I stepped away from him, momentarily enjoying the feeling of his hand sliding across my hip before I returned Hyorinmaru to his spot beside Tankyu no Unmei and moved out of the closet to set myself on a path for the back door. I knew Toshiro was following me as I went, but I didn't say anything as I slipped the lock open and pushed the door open to reveal the back porch and my instruments that still lingered against the house's wall. I shivered with a cool air that seemed to ghost through the fabric of my thin under robe like it wasn't even there, but didn't let the chill stop me from stepping out onto the porch.

My koto was in its case where it would be protected from the weather, but my guzheng was set up. I had been playing it this morning to try and calm my nerves even though Toshiro wasn't here. My room in the barracks wasn't big enough to have them both out at the same time unless I wanted to be stepping over them constantly. Eyeing the guzheng case that sat open, I walked towards it and knelt down to reach inside.

"I know you don't really wear anything like this," I said as I stood, a thin chain clasped in my hand. "But I thought, if it was on a long chain and not too outlandish, you might just wear it."

I turned to find Toshiro standing just behind me, and wasted no time rising up on my tip toes so I could loop the chain of the necklace over his head. The gold of the chain stood out against his pale skin, but as I settled it around his neck I couldn't help but to smile to myself. It seemed to fit just like I had imagined it would, with the chain falling down his chest to end in a brilliant blue aquamarine crystal that seemed to glow with an inner light. Well, it didn't seem to glow, it was glowing. Tiny veins of gold ran through the crystal, giving it a sort of ethereal glow that resonated with my own spiritual pressure. It probably wouldn't glow like this when I was away, but I knew it felt like me and I could feel it clear across the Seireitei.

"Did you make this?" He asked as he pinched the crystal between his fingers and lifted it up to inspect it.

"Not exactly. I try not to use my shikai to make things so fantastic. Just because I could make almost anything out of reishi, it doesn't mean that I should. The crystal was something I found in the trade district, but I made the chain and the golden veins running through it. Its infused with my spirit energy, just like that clasp. I tried to get a color that would match your eyes, but I see now that I was a bit off." I tried to hide my disappointment, but even to me I sounded just like I felt.

"Does it bother you that much to not feel me?" He asked, a teasing smile on his lips as he completely ignored my depressed tone.

"I can feel you," I said slowly as I covered his hand with mine and gently tugged on it. He released the crystal and let me guide his hand so I could rest my cheek in his palm. "Right now, you're the only thing I want to feel. But when you're far away, I want to still be able feel you and know you can feel me too."

Toshiro was quiet as I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth of his hand against my skin. It wasn't until a moment had passed that I realized he wasn't quiet for the same reasons that I was, and I slowly opened my eyes. His expression wasn't exactly hard, but it wasn't the tender one I had just been looking at either.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly.

"Do you know why I snapped at the elders?" He asked.

"You didn't like what they were saying?" I asked as I thought back to the meeting.

"That, yes. But the real reason is that I was angry with you."

In a throat tightening instant, guilt flashed through me. He was angry with me? I couldn't blame him, but I hadn't thought about my actions since I had returned to the Soul Society. I had been focused on him and his return.

"I, um," I swallowed hard and slowly pulled back from his hand to stand straight. I kept his hand in mine, but I could feel myself paling as I tried to wrap my brain around his words. "Is it because of how I got to Hueco Mundo?"

"I knew about your future. I knew at some point you would be alone, but what I didn't know was your reasoning behind it all." He let out a rough sigh as his hand clenched then released. "You put yourself in harms way just because you wanted to spare me? I'm sorry Ria, but as much as you care for me, you went about showing it in the completely wrong way."

"Wrong?" I asked, not understanding what he was referring to.

"Do you really think that losing Momo would hurt me more than losing you?" The anger he had been referencing showed in the fierceness of his narrowed eyes as he stared down at me. I recognized the expression as the same one I had seen for the briefest moment back in Hueco Mundo, and with a shock I realized just how angry I had made him. "Do you really believe that?"

"Yes," I said, my voice lifting up like it was a question. "You've already been hurt by her, yet I can see that you still care. You blame yourself for everything that has happened to her, including her being on the other side of Grimmjow's garganta when it shut when really, it was my fault for having kept it open in the first place. I couldn't let you blame yourself if she had died."

"A thousand times over, I would have rather blamed myself for her loss than have lost you." He let out a soft, but clearly frustrated sigh. "She and I had our time, and it's over. It has been over for years, but this? You and me? I don't think I could have lived with myself if I had lost you."

Toshiro's hand abruptly turned in mine, taking hold of wrist and pulling me into him in one quick movement. I stumbled with the surprise of it, but he caught me and pulled me into a crushing embrace.

"I need to set you straight before I can do anything else," he said, his voice rumbling in his chest. "I thought I had done that before the Espada ever tried to come to the Soul Society, but apparently I didn't make my point clear enough. You are the only one that matters. The only one. I can handle anything so long as you are safe."

His arms around me loosened just enough so that as he leaned back I could look up at him. His expression was hard, but in his eyes I could see just how much I meant to him, and how my misunderstanding had hurt him.

"I'm sorry," I managed to say. My chest was so tense and my throat so tight that it was hard to even get those words out.

One of his arms slipped from around me, and he ghosted his fingers over my forehead to brush my hair back from my face. "If you put yourself in danger like that again, all to spare me from something that doesn't even matter, I don't know what I'm going to do with you."

"You could lock me in the bed room?" I suggested, trying to make his still rigid posture ease.

"That would only work if you moved in with me, which I think you should," he said softly.

I blinked. I blinked again. Had I heard him right? No, I hadn't.

"What?" I asked dumbly.

"Ria," he cooed my name as his hand slid into my hair. He leaned forward, making me bend backwards as he loomed over me. His other hand left my back for just a moment to find the part in my robe and slid between it so as his hand returned to my back, he was touching my skin instead of fabric. The sensation made me shiver as his lips hovered over mine, teasing me with his closeness. "Move in with me."

"I, but we- the clan," I tried to put words together, but I couldn't seem to string a coherent thought together. He had caught me so off guard! He had just been so angry with me, and now he was teasing me. It wasn't fair for him to ask me questions like this!

"Who cares," he purred as he brushed my nose with his. "The clan now knows my intentions, and I doubt they'll summon us again anytime soon."

"B-but why?" I asked, trying to get some sort of sensible words out of my mouth.

"Because I want you too, and I need to keep an eye on you. Do I need any other reason to ask?" His hand on my back flexed, making his fingers dig deliciously into my skin. I let out a soft sigh, something he knew meant that I liked what he was doing to me. We had just been so tense, and now all I wanted to do was melt into him.

"Coming from you, that might be more of an order than you asking," I managed to say despite my chaotic thoughts.

"Then I suppose you don't have a choice," he damn near growled as his mouth finally covered mine. I laughed against his lips, but my laugh quickly turned into a small gasp as he bit down on my bottom lip. Gods, I had missed him, missed this, missed us. This was where I belonged. He accepted me and somehow was willing to accept my clan and all the crazy things my zanpakuto and I did. A small part of me thought I didn't deserve this man, but the rest of me was happy in every possible way. My worries about Mitsuji were over, my sister was recovering and her baby being cared for, my zanpakuto was a pain as always-

'I can hear you,' she grumbled in the back of my mind. 'I think you forget that far too often.'

I smiled at her snarky reply as Toshiro lifted me from the ground, making me wrap my legs around his waist so he wouldn't have to support all my weight as he took us back inside. I slipped my arms around his neck and pulled out of our kiss just long enough to speak.

"I love you," I said softly as I gazed into his smoldering aquamarine eyes.

He shifted me higher so he could hold me up with just one arm, allowing him the freedom to push my hair back from my face in a tender caress.

"I love you more."


End file.
